I like dinosaurs, astronomy, gardening, poetry, science, cats, and dogs. I block MAGA Trolls, Q Cultists, COVID deniers, anti-maskers, and 1/6 deniers. he/him
Elon Musk has shown us that he can and will shut this site down on a whim. Some people aren't waiting for that - many of the most interesting accounts I follow have already moved on. Here's where I can be found:
@ChadBlue83
@Phil_Lewis_
Fantastic angle. This is the bystander effect put to good use. Usually it's "Nobody else is doing anything, so I won't either." Here people saw someone do something insanely brave and thought "That's a good idea but they need help. I'm going to help!"
@CatRivendell
@shanedunlap
@TribLIVE
They don't want to get canned when their employers find out they weren't really sick and took the day off to play dressup with their guns.
@karenkho
- uncomfortable chairs
- poor lighting
- absence of therapy animals (pets)
- close quarters and shared cubicles
- exposure to whatever contagious disease that person over there has
- gas prices
- traffic jams
- deer on the highway
- other drivers on the highway
@stallpisser
@eggshellfriend
One saint (I think it was Ignatius) described a demon that would occasionally float around his field of vision. I think he had floaters.
@CovidintheChart
For three years I kept my elderly mom safe from COVID. Even when she had to be hospitalized last January, the hospital was still following strict protocols. But after a minor fall last February she was taken to the hospital by an unmasked crew. She contracted COVID and died.
@ItsKristieBish
@Mochievous
Some children were stabbed to death during a Taylor Swift dance party a few weeks ago. White supremacists immediately blamed it on immigrants (it wasn't) and went on a rampage. They marched and then they blocked the exits of a hotel full of immigrants and set it on fire.
@Sarahwinifred
"Oh yeah, she does that, I wish she'd stop before we get an official reprimand from the faerie council. I *like* living among you humans."
@BenjaminJS
If a student asks "Why was she told to move her seat?" how can the teacher respond? What are the consequences for a teacher who answers truthfully?
@KalynnBayron
There's a politician in PA pledging a "good vibes only" approach to teaching American history. I'm wondering how they will deal with teaching about the Civil War without making it seem that one side or the other was in the wrong.
@aubreyhirsch
Haha, what a maroon!
I'd say more, but I've been invited to this rich guy's private island for a hunting party. He said we'll be hunting "the most dangerous game," whatever that is.
@Karnythia
"Honey? Come look at this. There's a bear on the wall. Nancy's dogs are barking at it."
"A bear? On the wall?"
"Yep. Now Nancy just pushed it off the wall and into our yard."
@mcsquared34
Well, let's not be hasty. The cops who burned him alive say he was on drugs at the time and they would have charged him with a crime if they hadn't burned him alive first.
@AsivileZee
@Shen_the_Bird
@MNateShyamalan
They didn't. That's what Evangelism is all about: ramming the "Word of God" down everyone else's throat, especially if they don't want it. It's all about THEIR salvation!
@anijen21
@TheLincoln
Heh. These are the same people who insist that whole cities burned down during the protests of the George Floyd et. al. murders. They never SAW it happen (because it didn't), but their trusted media sources TOLD them it did, and they believe it, so that settles it for them.
@mattbencole
Once a VP at my company got an email that had been sent to everyone in the organization. He replied-all that he never wanted to get junk like this filling his inbox. He sent his reply "return receipt requested" so as every person opened it he got an email receipt.
@strugglesaurus
And Obama was doing his tightrope act until his Vice President came thundering along and blurted out that hell yes, gay marriage is legitimate an needs to be recognized. Obama was probably pissed as hell, but Joe Biden forced his hand.
@ashleyn1cole
It was called the "Civil" War because everyone was so darned polite about it. Pickett's Charge was a big deal because Union and Confederate forces were each trying to pay for the other's dinner.
@Nonanodyne
@ronnui_
Acts 2 44-45: All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need.
@GrahamB47
Without the commentary track to The Phantom Menace, I might never have heard George Lucas explain that he based the Rebel Alliance on the plucky freedom fighters of the Viet Cong, and the Empire on the United States.
@iucounu
"And then, one day, the humans just...went away. Where to? Who knows? Some say they took to the stars. Some, that they sailed across the seas. Others say that they are still here, hidden away in their dwellings, and can sometimes be seen peeking out the windows."
@nameshiv
Your BIL is now the Rice King. Songs will be sung for years about how he granted gifts of rice to needy and not-so-needy families, institutions, and nations.
@Mylifeischaos
Job: You've had your interview. Now, aren't you forgetting something?
Applicant: A...a thank-you note?
Job: That's right. You should not need to be reminded.
Applicant: So when will I hear whether or not I got the job?
Job (chuckling as it fades from sight): Haha, that's so cute.
@hughart_michael
@CultureCrave
I was just thinking that the really horrible thing is that they had to have factored in the costs and negative publicity associated with this approach and decided that it was still worth it, that the public will quickly forgive and forget and overlook the rights they sign away
@frogs4girls
Using Google for your symptoms: well, looks like my sore elbow means I have cancer
Using ChatGPT: your elbow pain is caused by Metastatic Elbonian Bladderrack Cancer of the Islets if Langerhans, as described in von Doom et. al. "Elbonian Cancer is Totally Real and What You Have"
@eddyrivas
IRS: Don't worry, every thing you need to prepare your taxes is being sent to you
IRS: in the mail
IRS: It will all get to you before taxes are due
USPS: mmmmmmaybe
@baddestmamajama
There was a great thread on here about fake pizza places that are mafia fronts. In most cases, if someone unknowingly comes in and orders a pizza, they'll get one from a nearby legit pizza place - sometimes not even bothering to take it out of the other place's box.
@popmommie
@joncoopertweets
If he is going to die, I want him to know beforehand that after he is dead, every crime he committed will be revealed. Everything he ever thought he had will be taken away from him in death. His name will be a curse. His memory will be a mark of shame on this nation.
@tlecaque
Every time I hear about a school having to postpone or cancel classes due to the heat wave, I am reminded that none of these schools took the necessary action to upgrade HVAC systems to deal with a respiratory virus.
@meghanncuniff
Whataboutism from the bench. Unbelievable.
"While it is clear that the defendant was drunk while speeding through a school zone, many other drivers speed through school zones and might be drunk but are never arrested or charged. Case dismissed."
@NahNotFeelinIt
Viewed from a distance, these carvings are revealed as obvious and pathetic vandalism. Just as insulting is the pile of tailings under them, left to underscore contempt for what had once been, looking like a pile of bison skulls displayed by a big-game hunter.
@dccised
My mom and I once ran into someone I knew from work. We talked for a bit, she pulled out her phone and showed us pictures of her kids. When she left my mom asked me if she was a manager there. I responded no, she was a janitor. Ain't nothing wrong with being cleaning staff.
@GrantOB
I saw a notice for someone with a doctor's appointment that said "Prior to appointment, register on app and wait in front of door. Staff will not monitor front door." In other words, if you don't have a smart phone, don't bother going to your appointment.
@legaladvice_txt
@redditships
In this person's defense, anyone in the food industry who uses cilantro and hears someone complain about tasting soap should have immediately figured this out and explained it.
@Bowermanland
@DrFrancisYoung
@djbduncan
Seriously, what were those conversations like?
Caretaker 1: "Lor, what a mess, innit? So, fancy we should have a go at it?"
Caretaker 2: "Tch, leave it like it is. Gives it character, I says."
George IV: WTF?
@CalltoActivism
This is technically incorrect. She specifically issued a complaint about a book written by *OPRAH WINFREY*, yet for some reason the school district restricted access to a similarly-titled book by
@TheAmandaGorman
. The school district needs to correct its error.
@queenannepatti
@RadioFreeTom
Plus: she's gorgeous, she's brilliant, and when the message about COVID wasn't getting out to the Spanish-speaking population of PA in 2020, guess who recorded the PSAs?
@mcsquared34
For anyone wondering if my comment was actually furiously sarcastic: YES IT WAS.
For anyone puzzling over "let's not be hasty:" it's a reference to Treebeard the Ent from The Two Towers, who spoke and thought painfully slowly and who considered anything else to be "hasty."
@DanWilbur
It's PARKS & REC but in the intro one kid playing basketball at the park crosses some gang members, and his parents send him to live with his rich uncle in Bel-Air. Hijinks ensue.
@EkaBakie
That's a terrible thing. The lava is more dense than your body, so you will float on it and burn, slowly, horribly. Aim for the couch cushion!
@Todd_Stein
I worry that you just made him a target.
I saw a clip of someone taking a hike near their house today and thought "How many people are going to wind up dead in hidden places at the hands of the people who tried and failed to violently overthrow the U.S. government?"
@davidhogg111
We were actually living in a weird, illusory Golden Age that started with the fall of the Berlin Wall (1989) and subsequent dissolution of the Soviet Union. Suddenly, the looming threat of nuclear annihilation that had loomed through my entire life (and at least since the.. (1/x)
@peepsaregood
Some of my earliest nightmares involved a duplicate mommy.
Also duplicate Tennessee Tuxedos. I had to shoot one of them. Why would a five-year-old dream about shooting a cartoon penguin?
@MsChiaroscuro
@edmorrish
"Really, no one could have been prepared for this. It's truly a Black Swan event."
"This goes well beyond a Black Swan. This is in Purple Armadillo territory."
"Absolutely."
@NoGoodLeftist
Imagine if people gathered en masse because a civilian was murdered. How would the police respond? Oh, right, we don't have to imagine.
Can't wait until they figure out which cops are funneling the guns into NYC and selling them to the criminals.
@ObsKenobs
Luke: And then he died?
Obi-Wan: No, he landed on the shore of a river of lava. I took his lightsaber and walked away. He was on fire at the time, so I assume he died. I mean, it's not like someone was gonna swoop in and rescue him.
@shannonrwatts
Teen girl abducted from bathroom and sexually trafficked, but there were no transgender people involved so Texas just shrugs and goes back to reading its cookie catalog.
@nashaadMOLLY
@fkalexbelike
@jessmath
"And I'm proud to introduce our new Vice President, who taught us all the importance of taking another spin around the block..."