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Wa Jah

@wanjar

1,586
Followers
3,265
Following
2,139
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17,957
Statuses

Kenyan banter is highly entertaining. I'm here for laughs. Proudly ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ช.

Nairobi, Kenya
Joined March 2009
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@wanjar
Wa Jah
4 months
Amkeni and see the foreign jobs this government is urging Kenyans to take up. #RutoMustGo .
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@NationAfrica
Nation Africa
4 months
CS Florence Bore urges graduates seeking work to register on National Employment Authority website
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
3 years
@ombachi13 In Africa, we measure ingredients with our eyes. There only three types of measurement: a little, medium and a lot. Hii maneno ya two table spoons aga one cup, sijui 5 ounces is total mathogothanio.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
3 months
@zaxoguda As seen during Grade 3 CBC assessment last week. This year, the kids were exploring careers and asked to document their favourites. Guess who I saw? @ombachi13 is such an inspiration to so many kids.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
6 years
@nytimes @nytimes , you have provided to our enemies a front row seat to the mayhem they have created. You are now part and parcel of this story. And let history note that on this day, you did not stand with Kenya. We will remember and do what we do best, revisit.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
2 years
@DonaldBKipkorir With all due respect, this is not about decision-making but about laws governing a constitutional process. In the process of preparing form 34C, the commissioners have no role. The law is very clear!
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
5 months
@Muoki_Caleb Unachora map halafu you walk away slowly like the Christian man you are ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ. Savage.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
11 months
@_PanamaGold @njokingumi Shame shame shame! Do better @Nike ! And please send that $10 cheque.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
3 months
@mwatha_emma Watu si wajinga bana...
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
2 years
@NationAfrica @LeonLidigu Which makes CS Nakhumicha a poor policy maker because policy is dictated and directed by the needs in the population and not by personal ethos. If the CS can't keep to the oath of office, they better vacate.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
3 months
After a long day terrorizing and killing innocent protestors, he has decided to use state resources to protect himself from us. This, ladies and gentlemen, is how a president who has lost all legitimacy must live. Government sponsored self imposed exile. #RutoMustGo .
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
2 years
@TheNjoroge Take that sign and run with it. Receive your healing from pilau Njeri. Rabashannta rabbakuria.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
5 months
@SamGichuru Mans boarded then asked "Hii inarecord?". I nodded. Mans jumped out faster than he got in. Dash cam with audio for the win ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿฟ.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
1 year
@KCDavisSays @NomeDaBarbarian ๐Ÿ˜ข... I tried 'forming a habit' by consistently doing something for 28 days. On the 29th day, I realized that for me, everything is a choice. No 'automatic' switch was turned on.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
6 months
@sheilaajjie @kendricklamar You mean he's putting on a fashion show with no fashions....
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
4 months
This one we return back to IEBC. He should never have been cleared to run.
@CSakwah
Author Sakwah Ongoma
4 months
In 2009, Didmus Barasa was discharged from the army for Fraud and conning...
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
1 year
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
4 months
Wetangula has refused to call the house. Finance Bill 2024 shall pass in 12 days via technicality. Aki tutaambia nini Rex? Na David? Na Dr. Mercy? What shall we tell all who lost lives for this cause? That their deaths were in vain? #RutoMustGo
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
3 years
@RabbitTheKing You! Simama upate kura. Ever since I saw you mediate between the cops and vijanas during the turmoil that erupted after the last election, it was obvious to me that you had walked into your destiny. God qualifies the call.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
3 years
@mwabilimwagodi Cast your burdens onto the tl, for we shall surely laugh at, mock and ultimately save a screenshot for future reference. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
5 months
@LeviMunyeri @Kipkemoi_Bern @ODPP_KE We all saw the video. Wakili, a quick one: after this case is done, is there a mechanism private citizens can use to censure the @ODPP_KE for such blatant abuse of office? This office has become the altar on which justice dies.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
8 months
@ElsaAngel19 @YourFaveGodDoll @Collen_KM You're one brave (and well moisturized) young lady. Rooting for you Ms. Majimbo.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
1 year
@BravinYuri GoK does polio screening. When Polio is found within a region, OPV is administered to children under 5. Polio comes via undervaccinated populations, i.e. our neighbors. OPV only provides cover for 6 months, hence the need for multiple doses over time. IPV is now available.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
8 months
@UjuAnya Why would a 50+ year old woman befriend a 19 year old lady?
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
2 years
@mbiti_mwondi These cats tried to sell me ONE xenon headlamp for 150k. Hawana shame!
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
7 months
@wnyakera In 2006, Kibaki was paying MO interns 100k. Uhuru left it at 145k. That in the year of our Lord 2024 the Ruto administration proposes to pay up to 70k is laughable. For somebody working between 80 to 100 hours a week? Kama wameshindwa na kazi waende nyumbani. Na si tafadhali.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
6 years
@ahmednasirlaw I wish there were tangible dividends for majority of the Kikuyu (99.998%) who continue to be pawns in this most cruel local version of 'Game of Thrones'.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
4 months
@miss_mumbz I want to join you in whatever you're doing.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
2 years
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
3 years
@samuel0kagwe Nope. They never steal from airlines whose ground management is handled by Swissport.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
3 years
@SpokespersonGoK Addressing Kenyans with with dignity and respect is non-negotiable. Hatutakulipa salary ukuje hapa kutuongelesha vile unataka.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
2 years
@Churba @MarcMcD @ScottNover @rohallma @DaveLeeFT ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ I have found my tribe. I watch all the above.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
6 years
@RobertAlai Valid question. This is on top of birth certificate number, passport number, driving license number, NHIF number, NSSF number, KRA number..... numbers numbers numbers. Can't they unify everything and give us one unique identifier.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
4 months
Cry, my beloved country. Cry. The link ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿฟ: The video ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿฟ:
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
4 years
@amerix Who said 'fat' people need fixing? Also, don't they deserve love and companionship? ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿฟโ€โ™€๏ธ #StopFatShaming #BodyPolice
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
5 years
@MichelleDonde While humanitarians round the world are providing them for free or at cost, you buy so much from Medisel pale Thika at 2,500 then sell at 5,000 during a pandemic .... and you call that a business? Shame! @MutahiKagwe , @DCI_Kenya please put a halt to this vulturistic behaviour
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
1 year
@Tea_witdre We all know what time it is. We ain't fools. We've seen that energy before. That's no cousin by way of uncle married to mother's sister or whatever she said.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
2 years
@tyrus_ Urban irrigation ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ. Kikuyu landlords remain undefeated!
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
1 year
@Kurlycheeks "Lazima tuhamie Rongai". ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ So Sarabi ndio timwona Kwa CCTV pale Rongai? Hii handwriting ni ya @MuchiriiMike .
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
2 years
@mbiti_mwondi Sad state of affairs. The failure to provide sexual reproductive health guidance and intervention to teens + the youth has resulted in unwanted pregnancies & exposure to STDs. The loss of young lives when therapy is available is very painful. Sexual education is important.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
4 months
@DoctorReign @LawSocietyofKe @IPOA_KE I have to log off. My heart can't take it anymore. ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ’”.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
7 months
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
3 years
@kiruti As a Kune customer (probably during their validation stage), I'll say it's a well deserved raise. Their food is amazing, service exceptional and was value for money. They have a great service for office lunches. ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฟ
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
5 years
@bonifacemwangi @USAmbKenya @USEmbassyKenya C'mon now, are you insinuating that the @USAmbKenya took these pictures without the parents' or guardians consent? FYI, all minors are accompanied. Also, personal glory? ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ You're the one who should be sued for using this moment to get some attention from Balozi.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
3 years
@CMAKenya Why does a licensed and regulated player to continue to hold its license whilst running a ponzi-like unsupervised scheme using a similar name, address, all operating under one roof? Your license lent legitimacy and enable this fraud. You've failed to protect investors.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
3 years
@naomiosaka ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚. At 22, I was asked if I was traveling unaccompanied. They could not believe my age (as per my passport) and they literally played a guessing game at the check-in counter. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
4 months
@Jasiri_MAR Doesn't see Hanifa as deserving because of issues with pedigree (race, education, social class -- all presumed of course). Madharau ya upper deck Kenyans with small small monies.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
4 years
I'm now reading the Bible everyday! Thank you for your ministry @streetchurchh ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿฟ
@streetchurchh
Daily Devotional
4 years
Every person wey dey stand as bad guy for your tori, baba go comot dem from your way. Godโ€™s people must go!
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
2 months
@IanECox @KingOfMeru Fixed. "His Royal Canadian Mounted Police duty of mapping our minerals across the country while masquerading as tourist ended he needed to report back to base". ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
3 years
@shobanes @thatkairetu 'No kugeria' aesthetic ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
3 years
Today I celebrate @zablonorina1 for shining a light on hypertension and type 2 diabetes on this bird app. For consistently urging people to change for the better, you're an absolute Shujaa! ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ช Happy Mashujaa Day to you.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
3 years
@KevOnStage Your words are about to spark an international incident of West African proportion. Queue #JollofRiceWars
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
2 years
@moneyacademyKE The tyranny of inelastic goods with substitutes coupled with the dynamism of consumer behaviour. The sure way of collecting more taxes is stimulating and sustaining economic growth via policies that encourage broad participation of all economic sectors.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
4 years
@ElsaAngel19 Finish them with winning Ms. Majimbo!
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
4 months
@MuchiriiMike They borrowed from IMF to clear the Eurobond. They didn't clear it, they refinanced so technically, we are still in debt. They even borrowed more than they needed so they have some change left. True story.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
4 months
@W_Asherah โœ…. In fact, they never participated in the recovery efforts at all. Both local and national government.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
4 months
@harrykaranja Thats hot air. It needs to be actioned. Therefore, nothing has changed.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
6 months
@Son_of_Laikipia Serikal!! Now the poor man looks like an incompetent fool. Ukifanyia kazi nyoka tayarisha tako.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
3 years
@moneyacademyKE "Route ni ya tailwind, na mkikashika, weka free.". "Na squad ya mtu nne kama Orbit zii, mbili mbili kama Tusker Export.". Kwani ni Embasava? ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
2 years
@bevalynekwambo3 Tafuta compression socks. Unanitumia when you have to sit for a long time, like when traveling.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
3 months
@mwatha_emma It's the knowing snears from the ladies that got me. Those faces ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚. That whole story is bull and she knows it. I mean, the audacity ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚. Maybe she learnt a thing or two after all.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
3 years
@Sam_Baja @mmnjug Your citizenship may be revoked ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
4 years
@asemota Burna is an African Giant and does not need an endorsement from a texan beau.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
7 months
@_wandamu Where 2 or 3 Kenyans are gathered, there shall be chaos.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
2 years
@OliverMathenge After a break, kindly reflect and document your experience.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
3 years
@osoroKE Pombe, siasa na wanawake. Ndlama + findeo available.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
5 years
@RoadAlertsKE @ImmigrationDept @KenyaAirways Nothing like boarding at JFK halafu unaambiwa 'Karibu Nyumbani'. Maithori ๐Ÿ˜ญ ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ Thanks @KenyaAirways ! You make us proud.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
1 year
@KevOnStage Uncle @CharlieWilson keeping to the promise he made to God. I'm here for this testimony.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
6 years
@johnnjenga @IanECox As an academic, I expected higher level discourse from you @johnnjenga . Defend your position with facts or logical counter arguements. As is, it seems that the American car dealer and NGO profiteer (if that was your point) @IanECox took you to school on this one.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
5 years
@OliverMathenge The photo is on point. Ongeza KES 1,000 kwa Chrismas bonus ya photo editor on my bill.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
4 months
@NgalulaDonald Honorable Member, you are out of order!
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
4 months
@ArapTilingi @WanjikuClara Rachael Nyamai is consistently on the wrong side of history.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
2 years
@alaminkimathi They have a branch in Cedar Mall, Nanyuki. Ask them to send your glasses there. Pole sana Babu.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
2 years
@KimberleyeLeo Nothing like meeting someone from home when 'banged up abroad'.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
6 years
@wgkantai @kimidefreytas In all fairness, @kimidefreytas continues to disassociate herself from the distasteful photo that is STILL published with the story that not only came from her bureau but bears her name as the author. If she was truly apologetic, the photo would be gone.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
3 years
@MihrThakar One block of malls in Eastleigh has made more money than that.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
3 years
@alkags Christ is the head of this home....
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
3 years
@timothymathai Aki, what's njahi got to do with it? ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
2 years
@sheilaajjie In Kenya, kura yako ni siri yako. Folks out here changing stories based on their audience.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
2 years
๐Ÿ’ฏ
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
2 years
Loved the cast, the cinematography, local songs as soundtracks, local vistas, product placements and the two Oga dads. However, the weakest link was the storyline: it was weak, disjointed and improbable. Disappointing since Disconnect is one of my favourite Netflix films.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
5 years
Halafu naambiwa solution ni Huduma Namba!!! Gerrr ouurrra heeerrrreeee! Hatutaki Big Four. Tunataka Big One: CURB CORRUPTION! I mean, how can you deliver services when most of our money is being misappropriated/stolen/disappearing? #HudumaNamba #kot
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
2 years
As a grown woman, I'd like to publicly declare that when GTA VI is finally released, I'll take two weeks off. I highly suspect that I'll be socially unavailable for months. I can't wait.
@leftarmisme
The Evolving Arm
2 years
My husband--a grown man--has taken Friday off work so he can play his new video game for 24 hours straight.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
2 years
๐Ÿ’ฏ ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ
@Dreymwangi
drey
2 years
Babu Owino's afterparty after he retains his Embakassi parliamentary seat
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
2 years
@anyolo_ ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚. I live for chaotic calls. Let me bring back this gem.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
4 months
Has the letter for tomorrow's protest in Nairobi been delivered? #RejectFinanceBill2024
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
1 year
@theMagunga I'm all for people enjoying things on their own terms. Shuwali, only sadists police enjoyment.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
6 years
@ItsMutai @RobertAlai A secured building is one where all exits are have been sealed. Whoever secures a building controls it. GoK never said that there were no active situations in the secured buildings. Also,we'd rather get this guys alive than dead. Take 10 chill pills and let the pros do their job.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
2 years
@OliverMathenge Legally in Azimio, spiritually in KK? It's easier to whip party members than it is to whip coalition members. Let's see how this plays out. The 13th parliament will be lit.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
2 years
@ArcherMishale The two Oga Dads were entertaining though.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
2 years
@ombachi13 @CarrefourKe Tumefikiwa. IFYYK.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
4 years
@miss_nyaruai Hizi zinakaa kama za hapo Riverside drive from Chiromo to the crossroad๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹. The cartel on Miwa Avenue (Muchai Drive) was disbanded after months of drivers discarding chewed sugarcane on the road. Discarded sugarcane created a white line that divided oncoming traffic. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
4 months
@mwabilimwagodi Tell him Jacob Juma ( @kabetes ) was the first to call you Zakayo. Tell him that he (Jacob) has advised us that Jesus is upset with you so tomorrow we are going to #RejectPoliticsInChurches . #RejectFinanceBill2024 #REJECTFINANCEBILL2024
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
3 months
@_wangwe @bephyne The real one should be on a random day, like Sunday.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
3 months
@KatheuNzyimi Ipo siku! Those wigs shall burn.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
5 years
@wawiranjiru Shoes for schools? How do we help?
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
6 years
@smallaxe8 @gathara The theory that the 8-4-4 system is bad is a fallacy. Evidence shows that above all other systems available locally, the 8-4-4's have been able to find their place, compete for space and excel at the workplace, whether locally, regionally or globally.
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@wanjar
Wa Jah
2 years
@ianmbunde Amazing ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿฟ. Glad to see men embracing skincare routines.
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