Archie K Profile Banner
Archie K Profile
Archie K

@YesIamArchie

3,079
Followers
2,180
Following
3,175
Media
176,757
Statuses

I am not your Ex / Computer Psychiatrist/ IT Guru / Microsoft and Oracle Uncertified/Metallica / Casual drugs /Cheers and Beers

Nairobi, Kenya
Joined May 2012
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Pinned Tweet
@YesIamArchie
Archie K
7 years
My mum would to talk in syllables whenever she was whooping my ass " Si-ni-li-ku-ambia u-si-e-nde-le-e " 😂 😂 😂 #AfricanMumChallenge
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
3 years
Uzuri ya kufanya mjengo huwezi pata hizi ugonjwa ndogo mapua imenusa simiti hadi ndani iko na plaster 😂😂
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
3 years
Kuna jamaa anaaitanga bibi yake cucu wakikosana coz the wife is 2 years older than him 🤣🤣🤣🤣
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
12 days
Married to one . Machoooos
@brysonmu6
66rysonberg🇰🇪
12 days
I am curious about experiencing a white girl romantically
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
1 year
Twitter is not a real place 😂😂😂😂😂
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
5 years
Nani alikushow Waititu alienda shule?
@The_InsiderKe
Insider Kenya
5 years
LMAO waititu naye Kwani hajui kuiba? Unaiba tu fwaaaaa kama mtu hakuenda shule😂😂
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
9 months
Kendrick Lamar gave a fire ass performance in Rwanda. Meanwhile your Nairobi promoters will bring a washed out dancehall act and a second tier West African act where y'all will be ratchety and go home without your phones
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
3 years
Nick Muthumbi na Johnny Sins hawana tofauti.. Yeye ni web dev , cook, Shrink and content creator.
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
1 year
I am an IT guy and let me be frank with you. We love free software until the day it asks for license. That's when any IT dude uninstalls that softwarr because it is useless
@Njanelarian
Muse 🖤
1 year
Niggas will enjoy the benefits of the relationship a woman has to give until siku analeta feelings and hivo ndio mwanaume anamaliza deal without hesitation 😂
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
3 years
Scammers have upped their game
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
3 years
@iamjoseh_ I came thru for Fundi
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
8 years
#YouKnowYouAreAfrican when MS Word highlights your name in red
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
4 years
@Daisykenyan She doesn't gossip, she doesn't get jealous, she sticks to one man and doesn't love money. Where is she?
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
4 years
@Jo_Kimoney Feminine names denote softness. Huwes nunua TP inaitwa Mulamwah,Matendechere, Martin,Joseph etc
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
2 months
Victoria, I do remember when I wanted to book a "lodjo" and you said I shouldn't waste that money you would host me in your "small house" I thought I had bagged a beautiful Tanzanian guuurl maan. You sent me a fake number BTW. Aki Victoria wewe🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦
@ItsMutai
Lord Abraham Mutai
2 months
Hanifa should publish; 1. Names of all victims he has sent money 2. All mpesa transactions 3. Total amount contributed 4. Breakdown of all money used and where it was send Otherwise, this is an #MchangaScandal . Making Hanifa a millionaire!
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
5 years
@menteh_ Ukienda kwa in laws unalala kwa bar. Ama kwa gari. Ama kwa police station
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
5 years
Leavers bash ya 2004 unadhani ni Timmy T DAT alikuwa ?
@ItsKubasu
Nebs
5 years
Mbona Hamjawahi Letewa Sean Paul.
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
5 years
@MjayWambui Potassium to you too Wambui
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
3 years
Why women soccer's sucks. How can someone score a hat-trick within 5 Minutes and still not remove her shirt.
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
2 years
Y'all remember Niraj Shah and his wife Avan Shah who were forcibly evicted from their home in Westlands a few weeks ago? Their land document went missing at City Hall.
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
7 years
Kuna dem alinisare juu ya kusota. Nangoja ahame Kenya juu imesota pia.
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
6 months
This vice has been the hardest thing for me to quit . I have tried man. I have. And it's getting worse by the day. Tell me why I am hitting three packs on a day😭😭😭😭
@xysist
Cerebral Assassin
6 months
If you have never started smoking cigarettes, please do not. Most addictive legal shit I have ever seen
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
5 years
@junior_lionel @RegularKenyan I carried our DVD from CBD (Yep,I grew in CBD) to my cousin's crib in Eastleigh Section 4 on foot just to eject that damn thing.And I made sure I got home before mom came back 😥😥😥😥
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
1 year
Wait, I know the cost of living has gone up but someone is selling a kienyeji cockerel at 1500 bob . Kuku imefika hio Bei kweli?
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
6 years
@mwabilimwagodi The former is lacking the "E " you probably got in chemistry
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
2 months
These tweets have been deleted. What's this guy's plan?
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
4 years
Mimi nishikwe na minyoo in the name of medium rare?
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
1 year
Aoko deleted this tweet. But this tweet and a whole tirade of tweets she did yesterday was her basically admitting to using her body to get favors. Which didn't work in her favor.
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
3 years
@Osama_otero We are live
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
12 days
@DrKanyuira Na huku? Wueh. Naitwa committees zenye hata sijawahi skia buda
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
5 years
@ItsJeffreyJeff Halafu Mbunde senior bado akamangia mtu dem.Jamaa ikabidi atoke Ndufyai akaenda kusema Votsek huko Sauz Afwika
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
3 years
What someone does with their fun time doesn't mean they are incompetent.
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
4 years
Njahi tastes like failed dreams and regrets,.
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
6 years
After two years being jobless,I just got a job. Hang in there pal, your day will come no matter how long.
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
4 years
@_crazynairobian Aahaaaaa. Kuna KOT5Aside moja kulinyesha jamaa akaenda kujificha chini ya miti dem yake akipigiwa miti kwa gari
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
1 year
I woke up to someone posting a proforma invoice(Risiti inaitwa hivyo siku hizi?). Of a latte costing 800. And one samosa going for 1300. That is the price of two high class Roysambu call girls. Or 10 at Sabina Joy
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
4 years
Every girl has two towels.If you ever get invited to a gal's house,use the towel that looks worn out . That's the towel she uses . The other towel is used by men on a mission like yours.
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
2 years
Kwenu bado mko na family gathering ama kesi za shamba zilileta shida
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
2 years
I swear ugly people find love faster.
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
4 years
When you copy paste the wrong shit
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
3 years
Now lemme tell you how the TL is doing ICYMI. -Nick Muthumbi is a fraud. -Naima low key may have exchanged fluids with Web Dev . -Nick's ex is makamasi gang. - Drey was dragged in the saga - Fundi wa laptop and Indomie DJ (Jeff was disrespected) have some hidden tea.
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
2 years
You have no idea how many people are in a complicated relationship with your persons.
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
4 years
@amerix Teachers tend to have low reasoning power. Juu ya kushinda na watoto
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
12 days
@Bixxy23 @TreasonousBabe Bantu dragon was the name given by a diaspora based Eritrean/ Ethiopian/ Djibouti babe to describe East African babes during a tweef a couple of years ago
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
5 years
Very sad that in our digital age, someone under 30 and raised in Urban area can actually stereotype Kikuyu women when a prominent person dies. Very sad.
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
12 days
Talking stage amenishow I go meet her kid because back to school manenos. (For context, I knew she had a cumzigo ). I didn't expect a 17 year old high schooler . Weee hii thao niko nayo ni ya jaba na chrome sio ya pocket money buana.
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
2 years
@GeorgeKayman76 @georgediano Why would you be rude to a coworker?
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
4 years
WhatsApp is rolling out a new feature that allows users to access their WhatsApp account on 4 different devices at the same time. Bad news for people in relationships.
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
10 months
@Honeyfarsafi Man's said
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
4 years
@jamrick_ We celebrate greatness. Hutatulazimisha chenye tutapost .
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
5 years
Nani anataka kukutana na "It's a small world" comments?
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
9 months
@ProficientAmy @jamesonwhiskey They will bring an artist whose last hit was in 2013
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
2 years
@PiocheBrio Got two kids back to back in October and November 2017
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
7 years
@OliverMathenge Dude, @EstherPassaris did something called being mature
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
2 years
1. Omo pick-a-box 2. Vioja Mahakamani 3. Joy Bringers 4. Adventures of Sinbad 5 . The club 6. Ile ya Mama Kayai 7.Wrestling 6 The weather with Francis Nguatah 7. Classmates 8. Tausi (Rehema could get this D man) Make KBC great again.
@Osama_otero
Sir-Rap-A-Lot
2 years
What were your greatest shows from @KBCChannel1 ?
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
3 years
One of them is Grace Msalames baby daddy and the other is Janet Mbugua's hoes band
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
2 years
@NomadicDothraki Unaona aibu tutembea na madem wako na ass, juu watu waona uliona tu matako, na una akili.
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
5 years
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
3 years
Go have sex
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
5 years
@MacOyawo Is the pussay supposed to be mourning ?
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
2 years
If your DMs look like the start of an Awilo Longomba song....you have the license to move on. Hey Hi Hey Hi Hey Hey heeey
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
3 years
Ultimately, your ability to find the best girl for you requires the best version of you.
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
5 years
@MjayWambui Sura ya mwanaume unafaa kuiona mkikutana local ama strip club.
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
2 years
@SirAlexas Unrelated but I just remembered a rock mix I was listening to by Black Supremacy a few years ago and an MC yelled Rewind and come back selector. I threw that CD away
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
2 years
Napoleon the great said " 2 hours for a man, 4 for women, 6 for kids and 8 for fools" I am proud of you.
@_CrazyNairobian
Billy The GOAT
2 years
Nimelala two hours pekee, waah!
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
3 years
Alafu nikikufa msinichungulie kwa jeneza bana. Naeza Cheka. Niko shy na unajua itakua my first time
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
2 years
@y_vonne_M You want us to dishonor our wives 🤣🤣🤣
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
1 year
I work for a tyre company and unless it's Bridgestone,Kumho , Sumitomo or Michellin I am sure you did not spend 100K. And these are the most expensive tyre brands in Kenya.
@Shallie_
God's Favourite
1 year
JUNE will finish me 😭 Men are expensive, stick to socks and boxers if you are gifting them. 100k plus gone just like that 😭😭😭😭 Anyway, to the guy who always has my back, unconditionally, a very happy early birthday ❤️ I got you, always 🥰
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
2 years
Lost my job in 2017. Had impregnated two girls at the same time. Sold everything I had and went back to my parents with nothing but my clothes. I didn't leave the house for several months .As a man the shame of going back to your parents house can make you want to kill yourself
@Kimuzi_
Kimuzi
2 years
What is the lowest level of being broke have you ever reached in your life?
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
2 years
Brother, the next time you find yourself thinking about spending money on a woman, call yourself for a meeting under a tree.
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
6 years
@iWateba That person should have been reported to the HR ASAP
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
4 years
Civil servants don't talk about their work because they don't do any.
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
3 years
Everybody on social media looks really financially stable until you become their partner.
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
4 years
@Gaddafess The first thing any person holding you does is make sure to cut any communication links. So either 1 1."The kidnapper" is bonkers. 2.The hostage is lying.
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
2 years
Unakula his seed lakini ngotha kuosha is where you draw the line?
@karigoh
UnpRAWvoked
2 years
Wamama wanaosha underwear za wababa zao. Weuh
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
5 years
Hello pot, Meet the kettle
@Crazy_Nairobian
Billy The GOAT
5 years
Smh! Wacha kufanya Mazematic kama Pastor Ng'ang'a, 500,000 - 480,000 is 120,000 😏
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
12 days
@TreasonousBabe Hahahahahaa Is the girlfriend a bantu dragon ?
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
5 years
@iamlegitdaily Me going thru a rough patch Mom:Mimi nikuzae nikusomeshe na uteseke nikiwa hai?
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
4 years
@kyialuvu @ScottBrinton1 I am not about to teach you on how to raise your daughter but what if anything were to happen to her ?
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
5 years
@B3laze In case people don't believe they can read The Biggest secret by David Icke Download link Here 👇👇👇👇👇
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
2 years
Mwanaume atakopa loan ajenge akue rent free but wakati loan inamkimbiza wife atamambia kijiji mzima he is not providing.
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
2 years
When I say ni sawa that's basically me saying I have had enough.
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
3 years
The beneficiaries of Musando's death didn't really enjoy the victory and the power.
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
2 years
@m3nteh I will tell y'all what's wrong with this video 1. This guy discharged his weapon killing someone. 2. The church is cheering on this guy. 3. The fact that he is confidently walking around when he should be facing charges.
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
1 year
@YesIamArchie
Archie K
1 year
We all knew Slyrie is dumb but she has been overthrown by Bhadgurlrih and Njambifever
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
6 years
@DonaldBKipkorir Hello Donald , Here Sir. Have a good day .
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
3 years
My homeboy used to live in Tena estate. Si mnajua Umoja na Tena hakuna maji? Mans aliikuwa anaenda kuoga kwa temple ya Wahindi pale Parklands Hadi wakamzoea .
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
3 years
@MaureenChela Relationship is all about chaos ,stress and a pinch of violence
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
5 years
@Sab__G Wacha tuende ile pande ya Vietnam
@Thee_mavERIC
Wachira.
5 years
Ati mnasema hakukuwa na wezi strictly silk juu wezi huwa hawaibiani?
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
2 years
Near death Twitter,I paid a visit more than once to 20 joints on this list. For someone who doesn’t fancy clubbing, I sure clubbed a lot 😏. Seen: Bettys Banditos Steps Hearts Pipes Tacos Winkers Attitude Club Spree
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
2 years
@kenyansaram Someone should have a start up that collects shit left at peoples' exes
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
2 years
Went for thekete. Hitting it from the back the P was queefing. Mans broke in to micheko. Galdem alivaa nguo zake na akanighost. Hadi wa leo
@Dreymwangi
dreyfus
2 years
Hahaha what was your experience when you took a weed cookie for the first time?
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
2 years
@iamjoseh_ Make cops anyday. Kikiumana mnaenda man to man. How do you go with a female man to woman?
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
1 month
For context, This is what he is talm bout
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@jwaweruh
J
1 month
Halafu kaka post Kuku in some Bougie hotel like "fuckkk you and ndumas.... "
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
2 years
@omwambaKE Two minutes into kissing nilianza kutafuta cut out and sergeant Kanyunyui decided not to do the Hitler salute banaaaa....
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
2 years
Nani, usiseme unwanted pregnancy na mlienda 4 rounds. Management.
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
7 years
So apparently, the reporter who got the "f" word from Moses Kuria is the same reporter who got a "your name betrays you" from Kalonzo .
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
5 years
@EtanaStrongOne Nikuletee handaz mamiii? Na kiombitho hivi. Tukiseti. Ukiniimbia . Naturombose
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@YesIamArchie
Archie K
7 years
The illusion that Eric Omondi's balls are bigger than our national debt was busted yesterday when he easily covered the whole of his groin with the thumb.
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