Wafty Crank @WaftyCrank Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

@SeanJohnGK

@liora_

@MrSir1514

@jandakembangstw

@sen_kao0722

@yearlzy

@bokeplokalmalam

@jandakembangstw

@gvFJK4

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@owwozzz

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@SkulLaeEy

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@stw_pdg

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@stw_pdg

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@stwmaniax

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@GabeyTheHroth

@bokeplokalmalam

@Ryushiro0707

@turbanlisever69

Wafty Crank

@WaftyCrank

4 years

@Danny_McMoomins @AmazonHelp @_chrisjones_ Howled at this in the replies...

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@WaftyCrank

4 years

@Ida_Knowe 1. Desperation for attention 2. Desperation for attention 3. Desperation for attention 4. Desperation for attention

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@WaftyCrank

3 years

@D1Cats Did it have a decent spin cycle?

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@WaftyCrank

2 years

@MailOnline Just another day on Totally Normal Island.

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@WaftyCrank

4 years

@mattletiss7 Maybe you should simply deny the scoreline, Matthew, perhaps insist that the total of United goals is lower than the MSM says it is?

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@WaftyCrank

2 years

@JackBailey2 @NadineDorries In fairness, starlings tweet more sense than Dorries does.

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@WaftyCrank

10 years

30 penalties at Anfield, and not a single foul in sight. So not much different to any other season, really.

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@WaftyCrank

4 years

@RealDeniseWelch @AlanKelloggs That if you were any thicker, you'd set.

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@WaftyCrank

3 years

@TracyLeeDbn @LeeHurstComic Yeah, insurance and salvage companies are famously owned and managed by kids.

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@WaftyCrank

4 years

@prodnose We told the world in 2005 where the Glazer takeover would lead. How you all laughed, "fuck 'em, they've had it good for too long". "USA" chants at most away grounds. The government, the PL, the FA were all warned to block it. They chose not to. As you sow, so shall you reap.

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@WaftyCrank

5 years

Hang on, it’s April 14th? Then that means...

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@WaftyCrank

9 years

Ah, May 21st. Time for the annual repost of the 2008 European Cup final penalty shootout, in wheelie bin format. http://t.co/f5rZn23ruL

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@WaftyCrank

3 years

@PoppyLegion I see the 'All Lives Matter' lads are letting their masks slip as usual. Great work RBL, get it right up them.

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@WaftyCrank

4 years

Said a final goodbye to the old boy today. Not even close to shedding a tear (I might have been the only one, but there we are, I was going to be him today, and I was). But fuck, I'm going to miss him. The best man I ever knew, and I know a lot of good 'uns.

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Wafty Crank

@WaftyCrank

4 years

@JayMitchinson @nadhimzahawi Magnificent work. They've got that used to the nationals (papers or tv) running whatever they tell them to that they think actual journalism has simply gone away. Keep swinging.

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@WaftyCrank

7 years

@cyrilleregis I think a lot of people of a certain age had massive respect for Big Cyrille, both in the 70s/80s and from then on, he must have had the weight of the world on his shoulders yet played with a smile on his face. Not heard one bad word about him, ever. So sorry for your loss.

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Wafty Crank

@WaftyCrank

4 years

@alexkns23 @JimMFelton @MrsSOsbourne @piersmorgan "ima strong Leo woman" You're a very, VERY weak person if you give any credit to astrology. You're saying matter other than you controls you. It doesn't. Which is why I have no difficulty believing you misunderstanding mental illness this badly is genuine.

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@WaftyCrank

2 years

@Opportunitweet @DrEricDing

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@WaftyCrank

1 year

@BBCSport I’ve seen this before. End result is a penalty to Liverpool, isn’t it?

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@WaftyCrank

7 years

@roymiddleton10 Roy Kiddy-Fiddleton, more like.

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@WaftyCrank

2 years

@jessicaelgot Has he thought of just getting a better job?

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@WaftyCrank

4 years

Of course it's rotten, but Sky crapping their strides because what they did 30 years ago is potentially being done to them, probably leaving them bankrupt, is still mildly amusing to me.

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@WaftyCrank

6 months

@minfrin @MariaBaird13 Housing benefit and two lots of child benefit, for a start. Seeing as she thinks they don't count, it makes you wonder what else she doesn't deem as benefits when she's in receipt of them.

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@WaftyCrank

2 years

@Danny_McMoomins Grief (Is The Word).

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@WaftyCrank

4 years

@MailSport “United have had more goals overturned against them than anyone else. How much will this wind other fans up?” “Er, that shows refs are consistently giving goals against United that they shouldn’t?” “So what? Football fans are thick as shit, they’ll never work that out”

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@WaftyCrank

7 years

@mickquinn1089 Did you know? 1 in every 10 of Micky Quinn's horses starved just as much as the other 9.

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@WaftyCrank

6 months

@OfficialKAFC "The FA Cup was never two legs, but here's three arms to compensate"

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@WaftyCrank

1 year

@HarryHamishGray Should have taken a permanent break after this one, tbf.

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@WaftyCrank

6 months

@BANKU_2 @cufcmike Have you never been to a pub? Not necessarily a criticism, you might not live in the UK.

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@WaftyCrank

3 years

@Alanduncan2016 @marksandspencer @KelmanPeter Did you know, Alan, that the viewing of images of child sexual abuse drop off in October and early November, as those predisposed to such activity instead spend that period making themselves angry over poppy-related things that never happened? All true.

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@WaftyCrank

4 years

@twose_brian @AndrewW61066883 @ashton_hewitt You would support people from foreign countries doing as they wish in Britain, and would oppose them being subject to UK law whilst here, Brian? I rather suspect not.

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@WaftyCrank

8 years

@SkyNewsBreak We're all in this together, eh?

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@WaftyCrank

7 years

@Lab_Westbourne @ManCity @Arsenal I feel so sorry for her. Most kids have these things called "parents", whose job it is to educate their offspring and prepare them for life. Ah well.

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@WaftyCrank

6 months

@OfficialPDC Are we kidding here? at 303-96, Anderson threw 41 then 26 and still won? 😂😂

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@WaftyCrank

7 years

@trexfan2 @AJScattergood @theresa_may @BBCNews @BBCNewsnight @BBCPolitics @itvnews @jonsnowC4 @afneil Quite. I wonder if The Sun would like to correct this front page to reflect which party leader actually DOES have blood on their hands?

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@WaftyCrank

2 years

@SmnLlyd5 @mrjakehumphrey Cos he was breastfed until he was 29.

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@WaftyCrank

9 years

Are we fuck Wednesday in disguise, Wednesday score goals and have been winning regularly. What a bunch of dummies.

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@WaftyCrank

6 years

@MaddockMirror Took me three reads to realise it wasn't a sentencing report from a grooming trial.

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@WaftyCrank

4 years

@sarm0161 Fuck's sake Ste , if he'd done all six years we'd ALL look like that...

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@WaftyCrank

2 years

@alistaircoleman @jlsinc @StephenCVGraham "It's what our readers want" "Those articles get the most engagement" "Dwell time* on those pages is the longest" Reach plc has utterly destroyed dozens of local rags. Wretched company. * would never occur to them why that is not a surprise at all, for a variety of reasons

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@WaftyCrank

4 years

@RickIndeed Furthermore, we went another 12 [competitive*] games unbeaten the following season before getting beat again. We were into October. 45 games in all competitions. Nobody's ever getting near that again. * The two charity shields aren't competitive games, nor were they ever.

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@WaftyCrank

6 years

@DavidLawTennis Jose Mourinho is the 21st manager to be sacked in this country this season. Shall we go through your tweets from August to see how many of those other vacancies you cried about no women being included in bookies' odds for replacements?

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Wafty Crank

@WaftyCrank

7 months

8 weeks ago this loonbin only had two working legs, and had to drag her arse end around on the floor. Thanks to a wonderful American vetinary surgeon in Leeds, this was her half an hour ago on her first walk since…

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@WaftyCrank

11 months

@BeardedGenius My brother in law studied music at college with him and said he was the nicest person in the class, as well as the most talented.

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@WaftyCrank

8 years

@RobHarris What an absolute danger. Hope he gets his fucking head kicked in, the bad, bad nonce.

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@WaftyCrank

4 years

Shaw would have caught that if it had been the ice cream van

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@WaftyCrank

4 years

@adsmitch7 @mattletiss7 * 9-1, without VAR there'd have been a penalty in the first half.

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@WaftyCrank

3 years

@pauline55rolls @SamanthaTaghoy People like you despise being called stupid, and cry about it all the time. But you ARE stupid. There's no other way to describe someone who thinks that because their local MP is Labour, that Labour are governing the country. You're thicker than a castle wall.

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@WaftyCrank

2 years

@Skye_Lloyd @b1lly7h3k1dd No it isn't. You'd never mention homeless people of any ilk if you weren't reacting to something you've read about refugees. Why do you cretins not realise how transparent you are? You don't give one solitary fuck about homeless people, your sort never have and never will.

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@WaftyCrank

5 years

@dodo Why is she feeding those dogs grapes?

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@WaftyCrank

7 years

@MailSport It’s a good job Pogba’s white, or people might notice a bit of a pattern forming in your “why do these people have money?” stories.

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@WaftyCrank

3 years

Out for a pint. Had some good news this aft, the beanie-sporting girl in my pic had a cancerous growth removed from her leg on Tuesday, results came back today and it hasn’t spread, and the cancer is a ‘low level’ one so they think she’ll be fine. Think my hayfever’s back, mind.

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@WaftyCrank

6 years

@SkyNewsBreak But surely a hero of patriots like Dyson would want to pay tax to the country he and they all love so much? Are there ANY people the gullible hordes listened to who haven't outed themselves as crooks who want out only to make more money at the expense of the UK population yet?

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@WaftyCrank

4 years

@erawneb @TomJohnson1965 @IanDunt It's 2020, you really don't need to be falling for that horseshit anymore.

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@WaftyCrank

7 years

@toadmeister @sehol Yet didn't, instead sneaked a picture and tweeted about them behind their back. Can't imagine why only 4 people bothered with your stag do.

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@WaftyCrank

5 years

@Remo26599 I'll be too busy streaking to worry about clapping, tbh...

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@WaftyCrank

3 years

@MikeyStephenso @SkySports Your team has shipped, on average, four goals a game against the worst United team in recent memory since you came back up. You've bigger things to worry about, such as whether parachute payments will help prevent you dropping back down to division 3 at the end of next season.

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Wafty Crank

@WaftyCrank

8 years

@wolverine_160 @SkyNewsBreak No they don't, don't talk shite. There's no royals in Paris or New York, I presume there's no tourism there?

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@WaftyCrank

2 years

@DavidSpeedie10 Imagine the number of people under 40 seeing this and wondering “what the fuck is a *looks again* David Speedie when it’s at home?”

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@WaftyCrank

7 months

In case anyone really cares...(those who know me irl know what she meant to me), the girl in my pic died on Monday. She was *everything* to me. This has not been a good week. In fact his has been the worst ever. I've ruined the bookies today and it still isn't worth a wank.

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Wafty Crank

@WaftyCrank

1 year

Here's a question for you. How did you, as you once claimed, hear about John Lennon's death at Maine Road when it was on a Tuesday morning UK time, and city's next home game was December 20th? Were you in a coma for 9 days, or do you just talk out of your arse all the time?

Noel Gallagher

@NoelGallagher

1 year

Just announced: @BanquetRecords will host an intimate evening in conversation with Noel at the Rose Theatre in Kingston, London on Wednesday 23rd August! Guests will be able to submit their questions for Noel prior to the event. Tickets go on sale at 9am BST tomorrow morning

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@WaftyCrank

7 years

@Danny_McMoomins @JaydaBF @realDonaldTrump @nytimes @foxandfriends Deffo drinks Lambrini and plays online bingo.

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@WaftyCrank

6 years

@SpursStatMan @the_itch1980 How much of it did you spend encrypting your hard drive?

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@WaftyCrank

9 years

@thomasm612 @jeremycorbyn No. Consistent. Hypocritical would have been to pay respect to one and not the other. You know, like you would?

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@WaftyCrank

3 years

@Danny_McMoomins I've seen you celebrating Stephe Bear's bullseye being hit, you don't fool me.

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@WaftyCrank

11 years

On this day in 2008...part two. http://t.co/COTuXYpwmb

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@WaftyCrank

4 years

@GaryLineker "Mane loses his first ever home league game" Fucking hell, that Southampton team were obviously better than I remembered...

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@WaftyCrank

10 years

Again, you say? Ok then. On this day, six years ago... http://t.co/d6rYYwqCU2

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@WaftyCrank

1 year

@JeremyVineOn5 You’re one accident or serious illness away from becoming one of them. And the way you tit around on your bike, the odds are shorter than for most people. But what the welfare state needs most is the end of wealthy people fiddling tax. Like you did, you crooked shitehawk.

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@WaftyCrank

8 years

@thedoveman1982 @ianherbs @MullockSMirror "where you going mate, there's 10 mins left"? "Pub mate, can't miss post-match interview". 😂

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@WaftyCrank

4 years

@TheGrandDayOut @BBradley_Mans @MarcusRashford Well in lad, those boots won't lick themselves, after all.

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@WaftyCrank

8 years

@GMPCityCentre @stuartparish Here's hoping you've soon got them under Ctrl, and brought their scrapping to an Alt. Don't let them Escape.

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@WaftyCrank

2 years

Don’t care if it makes me look like a prick. I fucking love United turning them cunts over. I’m stopping out and getting leathered. #UTFR

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@WaftyCrank

4 years

@WeahsCousin The Guillem Balague of medicine.

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@WaftyCrank

2 years

@Bezuhov00 @LozzaFox The real tragedy this country faces is that while [long extant] public defibrillators are for correcting electrical imbalances in the heart, no such equivalent currently exists for the brains of nature's little accidents like you.

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@WaftyCrank

4 years

@StuBrennanMEN @J61578 "Quality"? It was "achievements" just one tweet ago. How, after all this time, can you still be so bad at this?

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@WaftyCrank

9 years

Huge cheers at the final whistle from the Middlesbrough fans, who now get to spend an extra 30 minutes at least away from Middlesbrough.

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@WaftyCrank

8 months

@UK_EngWalScoNI @beverleyturner Oh, you’ve been groomed alright.

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@WaftyCrank

5 years

@bajablonski @LaineyL10 @BILDERBERG_GP @AthenaLeave Judging by this evidence, cerebrally.

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@WaftyCrank

9 months

@JacobsBen The replies here are stupendous. Who knew there were so many different ways to spell "I was suckered by the thought of a bottomless pit of cash for my tv show, but although I now I look foolish I'm going to double down because I CANNOT ever be wrong"? Clueless gremlins.

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@WaftyCrank

4 years

@VirtualAstro Still hasn't found what it's looking for.

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@WaftyCrank

6 months

@OfficialKAFC It's just struck me that the lad on the right would be far more interested in lifting the League Cup...

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@WaftyCrank

1 year

@SkyNewsBreak

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@WaftyCrank

7 years

Just knew McClean would poppy up at some point.

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@WaftyCrank

1 year

@kenstine @kercle @DrJFTFernandes You ever heard the phrase "a little knowledge is a dangerous thing"?

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@WaftyCrank

2 years

@guardian_sport Is this a bigger cry for attention than when he was sending unsolicited pics of his penis to women?

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@WaftyCrank

7 years

@Shakali13 @metpoliceuk Because they've convinced themselves the only terrorists are muslims. Being thick as mince, they can't understand that no, that's not true.

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@WaftyCrank

6 years

Ten years, eh?

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@WaftyCrank

4 years

@TimesSport @henrywinter It wasn't even the worst decision VAR made yesterday, but yeah, go right ahead and pretend it changed the outcome of the game to get clicks from angry simpletons.

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@WaftyCrank

4 years

@trencherman333 @DRoj @MahyarTousi That Labour was a hell of a lot more socialist than the party is today. If you were trying to make some sort of point here, you really ought to have spent ten minutes doing a bit of homework first. 1/10, must try harder.

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Wafty Crank

@WaftyCrank

3 years

@CouncillorPaul_ "I sincerely regret the terrible impact this will have on my family, children and new born baby" Even now, you're only sorry for what YOU have done to yourself. Seldom do you see more deserving cases of self-inflicted ruination. And boy, is it delicious.

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@WaftyCrank

3 years

@UtdDistrict The pain and anger on display from those for whom MUFC is nothing more than a tv show is utterly wonderful.

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Wafty Crank

@WaftyCrank

11 months

@Joey7Barton Just skip straight to posting your code for CBD oil/gummy sales, lad. We all know it's coming, we've seen more than enough washed-up nearly-men (and let's face it, you're nearly a man) do it already to recognise the pattern.

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@WaftyCrank

7 years

@FinHall @joncstone

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@WaftyCrank

3 years

@AddictScrabble @Nellfr16 @KEdge23 Here, forget about all the abuse you’re getting for a second, seeing as you’re a scrabble player, could you help me with a troublesome rack I’ve currently got in an online game? Wondering what I can make from the letters YUOCNUT. Thanks for any help you can provide.

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@WaftyCrank

8 years

@commonwokegirl So neither teaches anymore, but the man left voluntarily, whereas the lady didn't? This is unfair because...?

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@WaftyCrank

5 years

Fuck’s sake...😂😂😂

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@WaftyCrank

6 months

@Jenny_1884 I can't work from home. Because of this, I have to travel, all over the country, to and from work. I want as many office workers as possible to work from home because that means fewer traffic jams and shorter commute times for me. Sort your head out, you fucking child.

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Wafty Crank

@WaftyCrank

7 years

@stradeypark @BanditNanna @iw1963 I for one am baffled as to how playing a newly-promoted side at home didn’t send United fans wild with anticipation after the disappointment of winning three trophies last season. What a shite support.

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@WaftyCrank

6 months

@MickBaxter14 @Football__Tweet

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