Squirtle @SquirtleCapital Twitter profile

Pinned Tweet

Squirtle

1 year

It’s absolutely wild that Citadel branded Air Force One Lows exist and even more wild that people are wearing them in public

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Last Seen Profiles

@r283sH9gXLMnxBW

@Kristel__Storm

@vivaelamooor

@SportPremi

@bzz87_

@pow_mint

@shytaylax

@noarcoiris

@skyeblakely_

@ChoraTou

@defence_insider

@The_NinjaNe

@1osakedaisuki6

@19Volperossa

@shytaylax

@rpageortho

@bitzi_bee

@mikecosplay2

@JaytonHoopes

@clubARCH2

@edubacio

@nagasawa_marina

@MrMaizzz

@negolabio

@Chiyama_yorue

@SerchSpain

@mugisays

@bache_peg

@jwily10

@fallol20

@beckybucks2982

@PugetStout

@_Real_BM_on_YT

@mariam_hakobyan

@Amaneko_uta

@kanadzava1970

Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

1 year

@dieworkwear Buzz by a light year

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

4 months

The wet and swampy 42nd St Underpass is fucking hell on earth

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

1 year

@dieworkwear I can’t believe your page is free

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

8 months

we are so fucking back

Seung Min Kim

@seungminkim

8 months

SAN FRANCISCO (AP) — Chinese President Xi Jinping signaled that China will send new pandas to the United States, calling them “envoys of friendship between the Chinese and American peoples.” 🐼🐼🐼

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

6 months

There is a VERY strong correlation between non-athleticism + banker bag vs terrible gym etiquette + taking up space in the locker room at Equinox. I’m sorry your diet as a slobby non athletic Jefferies banker sucks but put your shit away before you go shower you fat fucks

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

6 months

Mentally preparing to enter bonus discussions with firm partners

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

1 year

I need to know who is buying a $225 Loro Piana frisbee

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

2 years

@prazgaitis @ChrisJBakke I’m excited for the “day in the life of a former product manager at Twitter (now on severance)” TikToks tho

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

2 years

Took a stab at a sell-side sales version:

Shortsighted Capital

@ShortSightedCap

2 years

Took a shot at a LO version:

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

1 year

@Stamford_Sam Bro 🤣

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

7 months

It’s back

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

2 months

@PetitRetard This is next level hatred and I’m absolutely here for it

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

3 years

@iiiuminateandy While Alonso was sitting around, waiting, DOING NISH, Lewis was out, making moves, winning WDCs

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

2 years

Maybe it’s time they bring the hot dog back $SNAP

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

2 years

@Citrini7 @alex_gurevich @FatTailCapital @Apple I have as much sympathy for SMBs heavily reliant on privacy invasion to perpetuate hyper consumerist culture as I do overleveraged “real estate investors” on AirBNB…aka fucking none.

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

10 months

@BillAckman ser we've seen this bit before

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

5 months

@Stamford_Sam The worst is seeing one of these 😭

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

5 months

@JakeSherman “Disposition - Destroyed” 😭

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

1 year

@bankingslut Hahahahahahahahahhaha “and that’s why I said aight bet, I want to see what’s going on at these levels of support”

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

1 year

A year after I left for college, my parents got a golden retriever. We didn’t know it then but the next 14 years would be so full of love and joy thanks to this little girl. After a lifetime of happiness, Daisy passed away this morning peacefully in her sleep. 💜

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

10 months

~*THESE STREETS WILL MAKE YOU FEEL BRAND NEW*~

Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

10 months

~*concrete jungle where dreams are made of*~

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

27 days

why

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

2 years

@JavierBlas It’s also never a good look when the layup to the question has a massive bias and agenda

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

2 years

@jrhennessy Tweet right above this on my timeline 😂

Nate O'Brien

@nateobrienn

2 years

The creator bubble is popping. For influencers: Brands deals have dried up substantially in the past 6 months. Most of my friends who were charging $30k per video are now struggling to fill their sponsor slots at $10k

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

3 years

@TommyWTF1 "oh no and I suppose it's a double fault with Serena" 😂😂😂😂

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

2 years

waiting to crack a beer at 4:01PM

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

10 months

@schizarella Broccoli coded

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

1 year

This picture costs more than the GDP of any country outside the top 20

The Spectator Index

@spectatorindex

1 year

Fighter jets posing in flight for photographer.

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

7 months

@WTIBull bro i need you to touch some grass when you get to your destination 😂

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

4 months

Does anyone else think wearing bank branded t-shirts (anywhere but particularly the gym)is exceptionally corny? Then again, nothing screams 115 bench press quite like Jefferies Industrials Investment Banking.

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

3 months

Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

3 months

Getting ready to hit up every sales rep I know to see who has Knicks tickets for Tuesday

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

1 year

*PENN DIVESTS BARSTOOL SPORTS TO FOUNDER DAVID PORTNOY Did Portnoy sell his stake at the top and then basically get it all back???

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

1 year

these are the most no-shit charts I've ever seen

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

10 months

~*concrete jungle where dreams are made of*~

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

2 years

@the_transit_guy Just watched Bullet Train last week from LAX to JFK…pretty good

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

4 months

@Citrini7

Hunter SPX Thompson ❎

@CoorsLightCEO

4 months

When I tail another Citrini trade and it once again works

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

1 year

I never understand when you as an analyst on the buyside happen to get access to have dinner to a major geopolitical strategist and you ask the same fucking questions you would to fucking Don Lemon like “wHeN dOeS PuTiN gEt ~*tAKeN OuT*~?”

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

1 year

@Jason @KlendathuCap @BillAckman @DavidSacks Dude you’re so annoying

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

2 years

@AsstSecEcon @JavierBlas Lol, it is more complicated, you are correct sir. So tell us why there is no senior policy official with real world energy experience that Secretary Granholm gets laughed out of conferences and Amos Hochstein can’t get LNG deals signed to save his life?

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

2 years

@JavierBlas He should have responded “isn’t the release of 230mn barrels weaponization of energy then?”

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

5 months

@realBearish

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

9 months

If a tree falls in a forest but no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

5 months

@Stamford_Sam *Please select a reason: “Uhhhhhhh driver taking too long”

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

2 years

You guys ever get to Wednesday night and think, “wow I cannot wait to get absolutely fucking obliterated in 48 hours”?

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

1 month

@TheStalwart @hannahlevitt What a wild culture that managers feel the need to actively log/monitor work activity AND that employees care enough to lie about it AND that management think it all important enough to enforce something about it??

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

1 year

Las Vegas is beautiful this time of year

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

9 months

@JaxAlemany They can’t handle the NB990s 😤

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

1 year

@CramerTracker Everyone wants to be Walter Bloomberg

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

2 years

@dieworkwear He said it was National Geographic doing a feature on his road to becoming President

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

10 months

@KerrisdaleCap Going to guess eVTOL

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

6 months

@yad_ayada Yea I’m literally twenty inches tall bitch

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

1 year

@ShitMgmtSays The mom-and-pop-ification of SVB from these founders came solely on the back of bankers chasing cross-sale transactions to whom they hoped would soon enough be UHNWs before their balance sheet duration was discovered and it’s a fucking joke

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

1 year

@solarsystern Twitter algo goin crazy

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

3 years

@iiiuminateandy @f1esbian Such a vibe

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

1 year

@dominicdeecoco “My most retarded intern” kind of endearing in a cute way tho

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

2 years

@BustedAuction Perhaps I may have been misled in my understanding of your commitment to this matter.

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

2 years

@sellsidepleb French cuffs ok maybe but then on a Garmin watch? 🤢

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

10 months

@tunguz

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

3 years

@sellsidepleb A huge difference between ER and IB no one mentions is how binary the outcome is to work for a good or absolute shit analyst in ER, whereas in IB there's some diffusion with multiple MDs in one group

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

1 year

This is the funniest man on Twitter. Undefeated.

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

1 year

Who the fuck at @Microsoft @Outlook thought adding these and moving Calendar was a good idea???

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

2 months

Posting one screenshot of a "he's our head of macro" as a testament to the official title being a name brand hedge funds Head of Macro is quite dramatic. Who knew debate kid energy was worse than theatre kid energy?

James Fishback

@j_fishback

2 months

@davidein Ok,🐔. I get it. You don't want to debate me and have to defend the fact that you've lost your investors a fortune betting against @elonmusk . Also, if I'm not qualified, why on earth did you hire me? Everyone should read my full lawsuit against you. Linked below.

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

2 years

@ShortSightedCap "Our firm paid for one of those ex-CIA agents to train us to read body language. That eyebrow twitch tells me the CEO is lying as he says "supply chain issues'. Of course, we won't be doing anything." 😂

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

7 months

What the fuck kinda withdrawal defaults are these?

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

1 year

Every once in a while there’s a Tweet so fucking dumb and laughable that people from all walks of life converge to dunk on it…this is one of those moments.

Eric Metaxas

@ericmetaxas

1 year

Today on my run up through Central Park in Harlem I saw four teenagers smoking weed. As I passed them I shouted in a firm but friendly voice: "Smells like failure!" and kept going. I said it as an act of love, honestly. I hope that at some point one of them might think about it.

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

2 years

@BillAckman @Ukraine Bill, big fan of yours but this is a terrible argument and disappointing to see you align with David.

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

2 years

@dieworkwear Post this to r/watches

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

11 months

Me when I go to bed at 5am and my head is still spinning from 16 martinis

Massimo

@Rainmaker1973

11 months

This is how a seal sleeps Because they are sleeping and not actively swimming, they can stay under water much longer than when hunting for food (which is on average about 30 minutes) [📹 Michael Boyd / michaelboyyd]

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

1 year

I’m almost embarrassed I hadn’t read this before…this was absolutely riveting.

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

2 months

@imsourcingg I cancelled my membership on Monday and was questioning the decision but not anymore...

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

1 year

@dieworkwear

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

1 year

There’s a recent uptick of pseudo intellectualism where the entertainment of toddler esque asking “why” is conflated with academic curiousity. What’s worse is the recent weaponization of this Joe Roganism wielded by blue checks in “discourse.”

Bill Ackman

@BillAckman

1 year

For context, I am pro-science (it is sad to say that I have to declare this upfront) and our family foundation, the @PershingSqFdn , is a major funder ( ~$100m to date with more to come) of scientific research, but something has gone really wrong with science and our country when

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

2 years

@rvc330 I thought this was a skit but they’re real

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

1 year

@buccocapital I’m convinced Reddit killed the paper magazine industry. I don’t need some loser journo to review XYZ product when there’s an army of zealots publishing in butthole depth reviews of anything imaginable from golf clubs to keyboards

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

2 months

@itsmarkmoran I quit a couple months ago and all my lifts and my HRV and sleep stats are up… totally recommend staying off it

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

1 year

@dieworkwear

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

9 months

Nothing like a little pre lunch crack snack

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

4 months

If this makes sense to you then we should hang out and you probably need therapy Garmont T8 / Nike SFB / Rocky C4T Salomon GTX Mid Allen Edmonds Park Avenue Gucci Jordaan Common Project Low On Cloudflyer NB 990v4

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

1 year

@atelicinvest Jfc may god some day bless me with the confidence of a tall white guy with less than 4 years of professional experience after graduating from a school with a 46% acceptance rate

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

1 year

@CoorsLightCEO

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

1 year

@sindap lmao what is this? "hey juice the summer associate numbers so it looks like they're getting a deal but gross up all the partners"

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

1 year

If the guy in the video is happy, then all the power to him. While I certainly would not want that life for myself, a reality I only recently realized was that an overwhelmingly large population want this degree of routine and normalcy while some may even view it as security.

Mike 🧸

@mrice97

1 year

This video was so depressing that I started tearing up watching it

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

1 year

@jamesjmchugh @OHWallStreet Lmao this is something someone who paid for the Harvard extension school would say

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

2 years

@dominicdeecoco Andddd if you’re especially neurotic, select all tabs, ctrl+home cell, and bonus of reset zoom level to 100%.

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

1 year

Martinis are the new “quoting the Office”

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

1 year

MDW helps you identify two types of cornballs: 1) the people who don’t own a home in the Hamptons but will love to tell everyone they were “out East” on Monday morning and 2) the people who “almost joined the military bro” and are doing Murph this weekend

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

9 months

Do Resy and Amex think people give a SHIT?

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

1 year

Just landed at JFK to this…nuts

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

11 months

@686Prism

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

1 year

@valueterminal That kind of positivity and resilience is often hard earned…I’m certain she has experienced immense challenges but to your point, equally certain she’ll find great opportunity

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

3 years

@bennpeifert @JTLonsdale @danprimack hahaha you got Bloomberg to pick up the story

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

2 years

Is it just me or are all hot girls wearing Hokas now

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

2 months

@PetitRetard Huber:

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

1 year

lol good

Nick Gerli

@nickgerli1

1 year

The Airbnb collapse is real. Revenues are down nearly 50% in cities like Phoenix and Austin. Watch out for a wave of forced selling from Airbnb owners later this year in the areas hit hardest by the revenue collapse.

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

10 months

This dude really is one of the dumbest motherfuckers on planet earth

Robert F. Kennedy Jr

@RobertKennedyJr

10 months

7. I will ban fracking, which provides the feedstock for most of the plastics produced in the U.S.

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

1 year

@kate10010 I'm glad to hear one of us is having a good year

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

10 months

@Citrini7 Bro this is like the sports gambler equivalent of betting on Taiwanese Quidditch tournaments

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

1 year

This is probably one of my favorite Instagram posts YTD. Tech sector also catching some (perhaps) unnecessary strays. 🤣🤣🤣

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Squirtle

@SquirtleCapital

2 years

You can tell when a PM or analyst is getting mentally exhausted because they start asking trash questions like “what happens if Ukraine gets resolved faster than expected?” Lmao brother, please exercise some critical thinking and stop wasting our time.

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