Stamford Sam @Stamford_Sam Twitter profile

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

2 years

Okay hardo you did 1 year in banking chill tf out

Chris Hladczuk

@chrishlad

2 years

Work-life balance in your 20s is an easy way to guarantee a mediocre career.

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Last Seen Profiles

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

9 months

Pure class from Costco management

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

2 years

Friend asked a guy on a date and he texted her this 😭😭😭😭😭

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

2 months

Imagine being the investment banker on the Louisiana Purchase

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

7 months

The high from seeing your JFK to NYC Uber is one of these things is like none other

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

4 months

Intern welcome drinks were eventful!

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

4 months

I would kill myself if I had to work here

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

5 months

Gen Z following up after I ghosted them following the initial coffee chat

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

1 month

Having an obese child shows a deep lack of personal discipline

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

23 days

College kids trying to network will tell you with a straight face that they aren’t free to chat for 15 mins anytime until 2 weeks from now as if you’re ignorant to the fact that they aren’t even remotely that busy

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

4 months

When Excel crashes and your last version saved down is from 2 hours ago

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

10 months

I think about this earnings call sometimes

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

2 years

@realEliasSaade @DanielYubi This would make for a cool investigative journalism piece. cc @nytimes @WSJ @voxdotcom

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

2 years

1st year banking analysts about to go back to their hometowns with more confidence than God, ready to pull the hottest girl in their hs class, and ya know what… I’m happy for them.

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

1 year

$41 hit the dividend bro’s account and he immediately went to Twitter to tell the streets

Cade Invests

@cadeinvests

1 year

A cool $41 dividend from some cash parked in Fidelity’s Money Market Fund $SPAXX Current yield is 4.75%

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

1 year

NO CHANCE BRO JUST MULTIPLIED BY 2 AND CALLED IT COMPOUNDING 😭😭😭😭😭

THE DIVIDEND DOMINATOR

@TheAlphaThought

2 years

If you invest $500/month for 30 years in an S&P 500 index fund ETF You'll end up with about $1,031,000 If that's not enough for you, find a way to invest $1,000/month and you'll end up with $2,063,000 The more you invest, the more you compound, and the wealthier you'll be.

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

5 months

Running in NYC is fun because you dust 99% of people but every 30 mins or so some twig of a 2:20 marathoner rips by you

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

3 months

@ii_analyze You just know he’s heat

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

2 years

What bro’s calendar probably looks like:

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

9 months

One year ago today I moved to Stamford, CT Best decision of my life. The energy of this city inspires me every day (view from my apartment)

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

2 years

Bro what are these TikTok banker girls doing

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

10 months

Look at him. He’s my retard: my Bitcoin specialist. He doesn’t even understand the vol implications of higher volume on a fixed supply.

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

2 years

Uber driver just told me “I dunno man” when I told him having 90% of his net worth in Tesla probably isn’t a great idea. This isn’t the bottom.

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

4 months

@dieworkwear Some can pull it off

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

6 months

> 32 y/o > Minimum 8y out of law school based on age > TC $550K on the Cravath scale Your guy either works for Wachtell, is lying, or you’re just making shit up. I’ll take the latter.

Nick Huber

@sweatystartup

6 months

I was talking to a guy recently who spent 5 years at a big prestigious law firm. One of the top firms in the world working litigation. He laid down 80 hour weeks for years and was making damn near $900k as a 32 year old. He got assigned a case in another city when his wife was

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

5 months

Looks like I was right

Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

6 months

This guy doesn’t get that he just had lunch with an Apollo VP

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

4 months

When your salesperson says “let me call you offline” and they phone from their personal cell, you know they’re about to hit you with some heat

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

2 years

when ur gf leaves a break up note on the PC monitor saying “this isn’t working” but you hit f9 and the model works just fine

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

11 months

Pro Tip for 1st Year Analysts: Unless you are truly slammed, never eat lunch on the desk. Whether you’re eating at Chipotle with another analyst or in the cafeteria alone while scrolling the TL or something, it will help break up your day immensely.

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

2 months

Holy shit look how locked tf in this guy is

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

2 years

When she’s buyside, good school, and not from the northeast

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

10 months

2nd Year Analysts rn listening to their MDs talking about the Capital markets reopening over the next 6-12mos

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

3 months

@plebcapital This guy’s account is excellent ngl @watchesofespion

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

2 years

My first MD: shit formatting like this won’t fly on the buyside Shit formatting on the buyside: 🦅🛫🦉🐝🦇🚀🛸🚁

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

11 months

Moelis analysts watching the time go back an hour

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

7 months

Concorde over the Hudson today

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

10 months

How the broccoli-haired intern who showed up at 10am every day looks when he’s told he won’t be receiving a return offer

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

2 years

The eagle has landed

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

1 year

Me after every flight on with Delta’s Platinum Medallion line demanding 50,000 Skymiles because “the plane was cold”

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

2 months

Odds that Phelps has no idea who this is

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

2 years

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

5 months

Here’s my thoughts: Change your fucking fund name

George Hadjia

@GHadjia

5 months

A year ago I left my job at a hedge fund in NY to start my own fund, Bristlemoon Capital. Some thoughts below on the journey of launching a fund (both the good and bad):

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

11 months

Hey man - how’s it going? The Duke Lacrosse Intern:

Travis Kelce

@tkelce

13 years

I just gave a squirle a peice of bread and it straight smashed all of it!!!! I had no idea they ate bread like that!! Haha #crazy

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

2 years

Asked my MBA Associate to remove gridlines and he highlighted the whole spreadsheet white 😭😭😭

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

4 months

A CIA black site interrogation couldn’t get this out of me

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

4 months

@privateinequity @thrillville1 Why do none of them fit? I don’t see anyone with so much as a measured collar

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

3 months

My boss will switch between a $100K AP and a Garmin like it’s nobody’s business

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

11 months

Project finance bankers ctrl + arrow-keying around to August, 2088 during the model walkthrough

bigsock

@biggersocks

11 months

can i come over and do this

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

2 years

Everything been reminding me of her recently 😫😫😫

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

10 months

Citi Compliance when you put a sandwich on your corporate card

Sean O'Neill

@SeanOhhhh

10 months

Would we not fly first class?

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

1 year

Bro included cash deposits in his “I’m in 16% ytd” figure 😭😭😭

Finance Guy

@GuyTalksFinance

1 year

@Investmentkage This is the total performance of my entire portfolio so it includes cash deposits My YTD calculations on my stock portfolio is a bit harder to calculate bc I have made some transfers out I’ll figure out how to do it and share

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

10 months

How it feels to jump into the model after 2x Panera lemonades

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

5 months

KKR Partners explaining why their marks are down 12pts to their LPs

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

2 months

Lmfao this piker is either a) Lying b) Breaking like 17 laws relating to being a sell-side market maker

GURGAVIN

@gurgavin

2 months

FROM MY FRIEND WHOSE A GREAT TRADER AT A BIG BANK

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

5 months

A CIA officer under deep cover residing in a hotel in the epicenter of Moscow in the 1980s is genuinely so much less paranoid

Science girl

@gunsnrosesgirl3

5 months

What’s the first thing you do in a hotel room?

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

1 year

When the lax player from Duke gets called on to share “what diversity means to him” in IB Analyst Orientation

Nick Gillespie

@nickgillespie

1 year

This is incredible. Might be Kamala Harris' best yet.

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

5 months

“And if you value it on an SOTP basis, you actually get the last business for free”

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

2 years

Imagine being so heated at your CPK experience you leave a review on the Terminal 😭😭😭

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

1 month

No idea, but your cheap suit fits like shit. Bottom button shouldn’t be buttoned, sleeves way too short, no cuff showing from shirt, and shirt way too big

Matt Wallace

@MattWallace888

2 months

If you were the teacher, what grade would you give this students paper?

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

8 months

Been seeing lots of doomposting on fintwit recently of jaded bankers who can’t get girlfriends. Genuine good advice follows… (1/x)

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

2 months

@Lifeinvestmoney Nearly rage replied to this to say buy treasuries

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

10 months

Nothing more infuriating than the wannabe “Deal Guys” in the airport lounge dressed to the nines having a VERY IMPORTANT BUSINESS CALL that the whole club needs to hear

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

2 months

Credit bros will say “we’re up 12bps on Timbuktu 2028 sovereigns” and start high fiving and ass slapping

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

9 months

“…buying my closed-end mutual fund with 1.75% management fees is!”

Eric Rife, CFP®, CPWA®

@imericrife

9 months

Buying VOO is not a financial plan.

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

1 month

This is cringe

Overheard on Wall Street

@OHWallStreet

1 month

Finance is an art

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

1 year

Reminder that there are more important things in the world than the deal you’ve been cranking on for months now, the GS conference that “everyone’s going to”, or the closing dinner at Saga.

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

10 months

Citi is nothing without its people

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

1 year

This is what how you dress when everyone around you is scared to say “no”

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

2 years

Ladies and gentlemen, we did it again

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

9 months

I’m in awe… So if I understand this correctly, a TRADITIONAL SEARCH FUND is a vehicle ran by some guy who just got his MBA, wants a 30% performance fee while assuming zero risk, and also wants me to comp him $350-$600K/y while he monkeys around for a few years?

Ben Tiggelaar 🟠

@bentigg

1 year

What’s a TRADITIONAL SEARCH FUND? Aspiring entrepreneurs raise ‘search’ capital from investors of $350K-$600K to pay for their salary and expenses up to 2 years to find and acquire a small business Once a they find one to acquire… 🧵

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

2 years

Industrials IB MDs announcing to the deal team where the next exciting site visit is

crazy ass moments in american politics

@ampol_moment

2 years

(2020)

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

6 months

The office rn

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

1 year

What it’s like trying to model while the intern who doesn’t understand personal space is “shadowing”

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

2 months

@middlemarketmac @julianaraynor @eastvillageguy Man, such a great guy. I owe him big time for letting me crash at his penthouse when my apartment was getting refinished.

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

8 months

Warming up with 10x F2 -> Escape -> Right Arrow Key before getting into the working sets today

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

2 years

Day 107: 27 miles today. Found this super weird relic on the trail today. I showed it to a park ranger passing by and he said he thinks it’s the cooked books of some cartel laundering money??? Ended up letting me keep it so will have something to read on the 50 miler tomorrow.

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

5 months

@spooky_JL AmEx gold Anyone who disputes this doesn’t know what they’re talking about

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

2 years

Lmfao for “transactions under $1 billion”

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

3 months

This guy is genuinely one of the greatest charlatans on fintwit. Anyone actually in the industry can smell the bs from a mile away, but he admittedly puts on the show well enough so that the average layperson cannot notice. Pure scumbag.

Brecht

@BallinBrecht

3 months

Imagine writing in your education section on LinkedIn “McKinsey” How does one get a job there from Western Governors U anyway? Also seems odd to be a former MD in PE (Partners Group) and no mention in headline? Chipmunk cheeks ain’t helping either.

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

2 years

@CEbitda Oh my

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

2 years

Junior PM just pinged me “Gonna step off for 5, been heads down… haven’t eaten all day” Okay?

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

6 months

This guy doesn’t get that he just had lunch with an Apollo VP

Chris Koerner

@mhp_guy

6 months

Just had lunch with a guy that invests in life insurance settlements. Fascinating! He bought 4 policies for $2.2m from 94 - 97 year olds that total $7.1m in death benefits. He pays the premiums until the holders "mature." The longer they live, the less he makes. It's a win for

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

1 year

Dividend bros when you attempt to explain the objectively inferior tax implications that dividends carry as opposed to the long-term capital gains from buyback programs

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

5 months

Update: I won.

Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

6 months

Been having an absolute blast dragging out my failure to obey a traffic signal ticket from over a year ago. We’re set for trial 4/30 🫡

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

2 years

Holy shit Centurion Card gets us a private room at AmEx lounges

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

5 months

Funniest shit I’ve seen in a long time

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

1 year

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

2 years

“Yeah before banking & McCombs I was a Navy SEAL for 7 years, then I worked near DC for 4 years… where? Oh, a little town called Langley, you’ve probably never heard of it…”

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

7 months

@SquirtleCapital Bro when you order th Uber Black and get this shit it’s just over I just cancel and rebook lol

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

2 years

Investment Banking Intern* - pls fix

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

1 month

@jasminomazic Ok

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

1 year

Interns be sending articles like this saying they “saw this and thought I might find it interesting”

Latest in space

@latestinspace

1 year

BREAKING 🚨: NASA rover Perseverance finds strange rock on Mars that appears hollow with a hole in its center

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

2 years

If you’re not on Outlook dark mode you’re ngmi

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

1 year

Beach night!

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

2 years

Ladies and gentlemen, we got him.

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

1 year

Contacting someone's employer because of foul tweets is a bitchass move. Period.

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

2 years

Hedge Fund Interviewer: “Pitch me a long” “Easy. I’m staffed on this deal and there’s this company getting bought out for 60% premium next week. Anyways, it’s a coal mining compliance software business and KKR believes that it’s actually ripe for disruption…”

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

2 years

Decided to stop in Tulsa, Oklahoma for the evening. WOW! Have I been missing out! 🤩

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Stamford Sam

@Stamford_Sam

11 months

When the company were massively short asks why I said “we’ve been involved in your stock for about six months now” yet they can’t find our name on the shareholder registry

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