Shit Management Says @ShitMgmtSays Twitter profile

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Shit Management Says

3 years

Forgive me if I am stating the obvious, but isn’t the whole crypto investment thesis totally debunked now? It’s completely correlated with equities, reliant on interest rates and central banking, the opposite of a store of value…

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

1 year

Another anecdote on what “founder friendly” at SVB means—skirting basic KYC protocol at their own risk SVB’s collapse will look inevitable in hindsight. There’s a reason no one is buying it even in a fire sale

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

Important to highlight that Excel’s row limit brought down Charlie Javice cc: @ryxcommar

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

1 year

VCs are geniuses, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

1 year

It’s revealing to see SV founders crying about the slightest inconveniences in their banking experience. Physical address, normal interest rates and standard collateral. These barriers are what mom & pop non-tech SMB face with normal banks, and it’s normal for high risk customers

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

1 year

SV is so used to being treated with kid gloves, as the caste that is changing the world. But their insular world is as high risk as it gets and they seem completely blind to these facts

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

If Elon Musk survives this moment—which consists so far of: —sexual harassment allegations, accompanied by the confirmation of a sizable severance payment and NDA —NYT documentary detailing FSD dangers and implied regulatory capture (1/n)

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

1 year

“He says he might now have to shell out for a WeWork membership.” 😢

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

1 year

A normal bank would never do this—for a reason. High risk, high return is standard for VC, but this is a bank. I think that’s what SVB execs forgot and what entitled SVB clients didn’t care about

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

1 year

Maybe I’m in the minority, but I’m pro all banking friction if it means less fraud. Rules feel outdated, but they work. In normal, non-bank-run times, there should be no need to open a biz acct online in 2 minutes. If SVB did, it likely skirted not only KYC but other rules, too

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

1 year

Completely crazy that a normal bank wouldn’t give a mortgage to an entrepreneur with no track record of steady income 🤔

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

1 year

“Founder friendly” means low interest mortgages based on people you know

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

1 year

I have zero sympathy here. Maybe every pre-revenue startup guy doesn’t get to buy a house if he has two dollars in cash at the bank & two years of work experience Also implies renting is for the poors or something Entitlement just seeps out of every pore from these tech bros

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

Due diligence check #2 : code to search all docs for Excel row limit multiples We are learning so much, investing is easy

Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

A due diligence question going forward: do you have plans to apply for Forbes 30 Under 30

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

8 months

Icahn was right about Ackman the entire time

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

1 year

SoFi’s former CEO and founder on LinkedIn. This is the level of analysis we can expect of a Silicon Valley founder

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

1 year

@DmitryBerdnik @Jesse_Livermore “Barrier to fraud is an unnecessary friction” Yikes.

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

3 years

value defined by dollars, extremely limited in use due to high transaction costs (and not strictly bc of low volume/no network effect), aaand it needlessly harms the environment Crypto is officially super high beta that will never convert to sustainable alpha

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

1 year

QED

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

1 year

@alonestarnalyst It may feel outdated, but it works. I recently had someone open a fraudulent acct in my name and how did I find out? The card got mailed to my address. Requiring a physical address is like a simple barrier to entry to fraud imo. And there are easy workarounds for a remote biz

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

3 years

On top of this, there is the loneliness epidemic, which I believe is real & contributing to the various strands of cult-lite devotion we see these days—crypto, Elon Musk, Cathie Wood, Joe Rogan, GOOP, right wing populism, Josh Hawley’s def’n of masculinity, Trump, et. al)

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

3 years

Remains to be seen if we all really start to lose it. One question I have is how much of the crypto craze is retail v institutional. It feels 99% retail, & that makes it sadder. It goes to my broader worry that people feel lost and hopeless, but also aspire to great wealth

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

1 year

@the_tuolomee There are easy workarounds and that’s sort of the point. An address is a low level barrier to entry to fraud and it’s actually very effective

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

3 years

We finally have proof that it will trade like any other high spec asset during a broader market pullback (meaning it tanks faster and harder than anything else). And this isn’t even a real pullback yet. So far, we have an overdue correction mostly in speculative growth

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

1 year

Keep reading, Paul Funniest thing about all of this SVB fallout is learning his low little VCs understand about banking, the industry that all their shitty little fintechs are aiming to disrupt

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

@ThisIsKyleR Some edits: “Unfortunately, the end of my high school career was robbed from me [because I killed two men using an illegally purchased AR-15-style rifle]. I didn't have the time other students get to properly prepare for the future [bc I killed these two guys on summer vacation]”

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

And this isn't even the whole of it, as those of us who have been following this long confidence game since even before "funding secured," know well. If he survives unscathed, I will have zero confidence in any enforcement agency.

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

3 years

@Scorriganus @PatrickFlynn_ @leastgoodwizard Wait is this an NFT

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

1 year

😭

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

1 year

Second funniest thing about all this SVB fallout: despite all these things SVB did to attract and retain the startup community, that startup community just totally bailed on them at the first whisper of a Jason Calacanis all-caps tweet of terror

Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

1 year

Keep reading, Paul Funniest thing about all of this SVB fallout is learning his low little VCs understand about banking, the industry that all their shitty little fintechs are aiming to disrupt

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

Due diligence check #3 : check font vintages to make sure forged docs don’t feature a font of the future I take it back—investing is hard

Mark C. Webster

@markcwebster

2 years

This is amazing, and only rivaled by the font Calibri in MS Word taking down the Prime Minister of Pakistan.

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

1 year

I love that this is all just a big “F’k You” to Elon Musk

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

Cynicism — a key ingredient to the rise of totalitarianism, along with organized loneliness — is rife these days partly because this faith is lacking. We’ve watched fraud/deception run wild over the last several years between Musk/Tesla/crypto/SPACs, and we are numb. (fin)

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

3 years

(that they frankly aren’t entitled do, but it’s fueled by social media). They have no means to get there with a normal job, if lucky enough to have a job/healthcare at all I am thinking of Gen Z, but they’re not alone. They’re just especially vulnerable bc they are so online

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

I want to help people understand Cathie Wood’s marketing brilliance. She’s not nuts. I joke that she’s guided by Jesus (which she is), but it’s really doing her strategy a great disservice. When I refer to her work, I mean marketing, as a fund manager fighting for AUM. Thread.

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

—publicly summoning a crack legal team specifically to assault people he doesn’t like, along with comment, "There will be blood." —the usual securities fraud he commits regularly, but even moreso lately with the Twitter deal

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

We need an institutional decree that is sufficiently punitive to deter future fraud and negligence. Please, government (SEC/NTSB/OSHA), do something. Do something, anything, to restore our faith in institutions.

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

A due diligence question going forward: do you have plans to apply for Forbes 30 Under 30

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

He and Tesla are under perpetual investigation (multiple, in fact), but we need to see consequences. None of this light fine here and another fine there, tightened disclosures nonsense.

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

—Tesla’s horrific Social/Governance practices (racism, chronic worker safety violations, non-cooperation with NHTSA investigations re: FSD) highlighted by S&P’s removal of the company from its ESG index —declaring himself a Republican, calling Dems the “party of division & hate”

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

3 years

Okay, I take it back. We have a few proven use cases, as commenters have pointed out: money laundering, tax evasion/avoidance, crime

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

@pkedrosky This feels dismissive and presumptuous. Not all people find their purpose in work. If some unretire, it’s bc they have no passion outside of work, a sad thing imo Nothing wrong with golf, travel, white wine if that’s your thing. Own what you love and enjoy it

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

10 months

@moorehn Should we include the hedge funds that are blacklisting students for signing pro Palestinian letters?

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

1 year

@WellspringGP Keep trying. You’re almost there

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

Delist, limit access to capital markets, make up a new penalty, whatever, because it needs to be devastating. The one penalty can't be a delisting from S&P's ESG index. The Twitter babysitter prescription from years ago clearly has not been enforced.

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

1 year

I love that @molly0xFFF built out the f’ked up prisoners dilemma matrix of SVB Highly recommend her newsletter. She is a delight

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

@bennyjohnson @elonmusk You could have blurred out the names to protect these people instead of taking the time to set that weird soundtrack

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

The crypto cult is learning why trustless transactions are an asinine aspiration What they perceive to be institutional “barriers” are in fact institutional safeguards, and they’re learning that the hard way

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

10 months

Management consultants don’t provide value; they provide cover.

Buyside Scum

@CorpFinScum

10 months

McKinsey is a boomer phenomenon. Nobody under the age of 45 actually thinks mgmt consultants provide any value. Once the boomers retire (or more likely die) there will be nobody left in a position of power at the f500 companies dumb enough to actually hire them.

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

3 years

@vijaygoel @luke_metro This is it. Hiring McKinsey provides external validation for an idea that internal people probably already thought of, but couldn’t get political buy-in

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

10 months

As we watch X fail spectacularly in every way, can we ask that big media and big politics stop seeking Elon Musk’s opinion on anything? He is not a voice worth hearing, not a leader worth following, not a person worth knowing

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

3 years

Thanks for reading and all the excellent feedback! I posted the same thing to IG and got 13 likes Wanted to follow up on theloneliness part, bc it's the biggest concern imo Suggested reading: @noreenahertz 's Why Loneliness Fuels Populism

Why loneliness fuels populism

As curbs on socialising return, we need to examine the link between isolation and the politics of intolerance

www.ft.com

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

Sometimes I see Tesla cult/reply-guy tweets that are like, “Imagine what the world would be like without Elon Musk.” Better off. We would be so. much. better. off.

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

Collecting some of the worst takes on Musk running Twitter with 50 dudes held captive by H1B visas

Shaan Puri

@ShaanVP

2 years

If Elon really trimmed Twitter down to an H1-B only workforce… BULLISH Immigrant energy is unmatched

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

“Cathie Wood is the opposite of a short seller — she’s a capital depleter. The amount of capital she’s evaporated in the world, how can people even suggest she’s successful? She’s successful at failing.” Fraser Perring, Viceroy Research @AIMhonesty

The Rise and Fall of Cathie Wood

Cathie Wood built a thriving brand out of price-prediction porn — then the tech bubble popped.

nymag.com

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

Financial literacy does not include Bitcoin. @jack is really proving to be a totally misguided, nefarious actor

Rolling Stone

@RollingStone

2 years

Jay-Z and @jack are teaming up to launch a new financial literacy program called The Bitcoin Academy for residents of the Marcy Houses project in Brooklyn, where the rapper grew up.

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

As we are all scoffing at the Vegas tunnels for Teslas that aren’t even self-driving and require 25 people to operate a self-queuing line with no safety exits if Tesla combusts, let us also recall that this is all an elaborate hoax to defund transit

Alexander Demling (He/Him)

@alexdemling

2 years

Musk admitted Hyperloop was about getting legislators to cancel plans for high-speed rail in California. He had no plans to build it Musk said public transit was “a pain in the ass” where you’re surrounded by strangers, including possible serial killers

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

1 year

Jason Calacanis is one of the most intellectually-stunted public figures I have ever encountered. A dumb person’s ideation of a smart person, a poor person’s ideation of a rich person. And his level of influence appears to be growing

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

Has any normal person gone through the trouble of valuing TSLA? I mean not Cathie, not sellside In my mind, it's a zero due to fraud, but curious if anyone has valued with a DCF or something

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

3 years

The 'research' out there is storytelling around a techno-utotpian dream, where crypto/DeFi/web3 reigns and "believers" are rewarded for their faith. If this sounds like a cult to you, it just might be

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

3 years

And finally, I want to double down on the carbon impact. It's harmful and ignored, because the crypto crowd has decided novelty wealth potential is more important than breaking the earth in pursuit of it

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

@quentquarantino Please consider redirecting your very good intentions & donate to direct aid organizations on the ground in Ukraine. Food, medical supplies, basic needs need funding first, as this is literal war. Red Cross, Doctors Without Borders

How you can help Ukrainians

There are effective ways to help. Where to donate if you want to assist refugees and people in Ukraine.

www.vox.com

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

@BigTechAlert @elonmusk @Grimezsz Oh no. He’s gonna try to buy Apple or something

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

7 months

Bill Ackman crying on X is the new Bill Ackman crying on CNBC

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

1 year

You get it, right? SVB Capital invests in Sequoia and Andreessen Horowitz, who invest in startups who are told by Sequoia and AH to deposit that cash at SVB who invests in SVB Capital who invests in Sequoia and AH who invests in startups who are told by Sequoia and AH to deposit

Kate Clark

@KateClarkTweets

1 year

Silicon Valley Bank's investment arm put $234 million in Sequoia Capital, $173 million in Andreessen Horowitz and $145 million in Ribbit Capital over the last few years. And it had just raised nearly $2 billion to invest in more VC funds.

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

8 years

via @Compoundinsight #pokemongo $FCPT

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

3 years

Telling me that I'm judging a short-term correction: 1) I don't doubt crypto will rebound 2) This correction *is* different -- it's the first proper reaction to Fed movement, the first hard evidence that crypto moves like all other spec growth assets

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

I wish Apple would drop U2’s entire catalog onto only Elon Musk’s phone, buried in an iOS update Make it impossible to delete, as was their MO, and make it play any time his phone connects via Bluetooth to anything

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

"Only 6 shots were fired by Japanese police [in 2015]. What most Japanese police will do is get huge futons and essentially roll up a person who is being violent or drunk into a little burrito and carry them back to the station to calm them down." (1/n)

How Japan has almost eradicated gun crime

Japan has one of the lowest rates of gun crime in the world, and the rules around ownership are very strict.

www.bbc.com

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@ShitMgmtSays

1 year

@Grumbholdt @DmitryBerdnik @Jesse_Livermore This is my favorite reply, thank you for making me laugh

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

4 years

@morganhousel Investing was never about the study of finance. It is gambling with conviction, supported by data that itself is fully informed by personal bias. That’s why the only finance worth studying is behavioral finance

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

Making up fake clients is a thing. Here's Wirecard pulling it off with a SoftBank raise:

Wirecard forged client details to secure €900mn investment from SoftBank

Collapsed German payments group fabricated data to reassure Japanese investor

www.ft.com

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@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

I think we just watched a billionaire learn something

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@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

Data science is, when used in business, is almost unilaterally data laundering -- using data, using unconscious or conscious bias, to drive home the point that you want to see Not illegal or wrong, but I do hope people get that data isn't without bias

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

Email exchange on how to make fake data look more real. Amateur hour fraud over here. Never put anything in writing. Is this because GenZ hates the phone

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

Wirecard used client data from one segment to support a fake segment & wouldn’t share anything in writing. SoftBank could only view the data at a one-time screening at Wirecard HQ So if you wanna do fraud, just say no to DD & make them come to you. It’ll come off as confidence

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

Real estate twitter is insufferable. UC locked in a great risk-adjusted return, because its mandate is not simply alpha. It has to manage massive annual pension payouts, not regular redemptions

Shlomo Chopp

@ShlomoChopp

2 years

Awful deal for University of California. They lock up $4B for six years in legacy assets for an 11% pref. While the rest of the world will be picking up properties at ridiculous discounts.

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@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

omg I am just reading the full JPM/Charlie Javice complaint. Javice hired a data science professor to generate all the fake customer account data. He sends her an itemized bill listing out every field he fabricated, and she makes him relabel the invoice as for “data analysis” 😂

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@ShitMgmtSays

1 year

I ask again: find me just one Paypal alum who is not an absolute sociopath

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

3 years

3) This isn't a short-term view -- my comments are triggered by the recent correction, yes. But we've been waiting for crypto to prove itself for more than a decade. We've been waiting for blockchain to take over the world, and there is a reason it hasn't.

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@ShitMgmtSays

3 years

The potential of crypto use cases: show me numbers (actuals, not projections -- of any practical use case). Without numbers, crypto is chained to the dollar for a reason. It's a fantastical VC fund, but even more ego somehow and less reality

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@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

1 year

People are worried about TikTok financial advisory, but what about fintwit tots who give advice without knowing what 401k match/vesting means

Finance Guy

@GuyTalksFinance

1 year

My 401k with my previous employer was just wiped out 100% They claim I was not fully vested with the company and I am not eligible for ANY of my 401k money I quit employment after about 1 year. The company claims I need to be working for 5 years to be vested and own the money

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@ShitMgmtSays

3 years

I can't address all the crypto bros in the comments/msgs telling me I'm wrong and stupid. I will address a few of the repeated points though: You can absolutely make money trading crypto. No one is denying that. I have zero FOMO, and I hope it works out for you

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@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

These are Task Rabbit level fees, not “commit fraud” level fees C’mon, fraudsters, know your worth.

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

@Fortister @scottf200 @therecount People massively underestimate comedians and how hard it is to be consistently funny and on command. Wit requires knowing a little of everything & the capacity to connect the dots. Being a performer, too, requires empathy, emotional connection, sensitivity to crowd sensibilities

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@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

Full JPM/Javice complaint here. It’s full of gems

Complaint – #1 in JPMorgan Chase Bank, N.A. v. Javice (D. Del., 1:22-cv-01621) – CourtListener.com

COMPLAINT filed against Olivier Amar, Charlie Javice ( Filing fee $ 402, receipt number ADEDC-4031158.) - filed by JPMorgan Chase Bank, N.A.. (Attachments: # 1 Civil Cover Sheet)(srs) (Entered:...

www.courtlistener.com

Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

omg I am just reading the full JPM/Charlie Javice complaint. Javice hired a data science professor to generate all the fake customer account data. He sends her an itemized bill listing out every field he fabricated, and she makes him relabel the invoice as for “data analysis” 😂

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@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

I’m convinced that no one in Silicon Valley knows how to read a balance sheet

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@ShitMgmtSays

1 year

Stanford GSB, everybody 👏👏👏

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@ShitMgmtSays

1 year

I blame Peter Thiel for so many things wrong with society already. So finding out he triggered this bank run and failure is just spectacular. Couldn’t have scripted it better He is cartoon evil & in a far more insidious way than Musk

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@ShitMgmtSays

1 year

Collecting a thread of worst takes on Silicon Valley Bank Please @ me or reply with the worst you’ve read far

Charlie Kirk

@charliekirk11

1 year

It is a mystery why Silicon Valley Bank collapsed.

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@ShitMgmtSays

1 year

We gave them a decade, and Uber/Lyft still haven’t figured out a sustainable business model

BuccoCapital Bloke

@buccocapital

1 year

The amount of money ride-hailing apps have lost is just staggering From @ByrneHobart

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@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

I knew I saved this tweet for a reason @Tr0llyTr0llFace

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@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

0% chance that Calacanis knows how to use a chainsaw.

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@ShitMgmtSays

1 year

I only know of Sam because of his absolute cringe effort to explain crypto use cases in a crypto debate last year. He came up empty, but went for two hours, interrupting his debate partner every other point anyway

EP 27: Convo with Lux’s Josh Wolfe and Our Best/Worst Crypto Debate...

Lux Capital’s Josh Wolfe joins to discuss startups in the current market, and the long-awaited release of the crypto debate between Zach Weinberg and Slow Ve...

www.youtube.com

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

@dee_bosa @dkos Public company goalposts have never changed. The investor base did in that the growth-at-any-cost/fundamentals-don’t-matter crowd has been scared into divesting from tech I’m finding all these tech CEO market reckoning memos/tweets (Peloton, Shopify, Uber) very amusing

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@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

RIP Binance

Jim Cramer

@jimcramer

2 years

Do you feel as reassured by Binance as i do?

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

FinTwit: it’s been nice knowing you. See you on Mastodon I guess Two last grievances to air before the end: Fund of fund managers, incl endowments, are overpaid for doing so very little. They are allocators of capital allocators, and they provide no value to society.

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

1 year

Honestly, a blackbook of secrets about high-powered people makes a lot more sense than all these high-powered people being into little girls. Also the nonsensical bit that all these high-powered people would seek his indispensable financial advice

southpaw

@nycsouthpaw

1 year

WSJ: Jeffrey Epstein was blackmailing Bill Gates over a past affair (and we thought of a lot of euphemisms to avoid using that word for some reason)

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Shit Management Says

@ShitMgmtSays

2 years

@SouthernValue95 @chamath There is no better example of an echo chamber than the tech bros of the All In podcast

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