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Jeremy Flagrants Profile
Jeremy Flagrants

@MrButterChicken

4,080
Followers
937
Following
8,727
Media
172,086
Statuses

I kind of look like the old Hathaway shirt model, but with patches over both eyes. It's actually fairly difficult for me to even type this.

The Hammock District
Joined November 2007
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
11 years
I like the way you work it. No dignity.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
2 years
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
2 years
@MediumSizeMeech @dustinparkes If I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard that story I would have one shiny nickel
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
4 years
@lindsayggunn @sarahschauer Puce is the worst colour name possible. Sounds like a medieval insult.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
4 years
It's amazing how police actually can choose not to fire their guns even if they are in danger. Weird.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
19 days
@SweatieAngle That guy gets vaguely racist and homophobic at the end of that thread.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
5 years
@aaron_clarey AGREED. WHERE ARE THE GODDAMN SHOES?
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
1 year
@CushMiz @WrittenByHanna Hayden Christensen's worst day on earth.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
2 years
@dougmastriano Why were your alarms set???? What did you know????
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
7 years
@WalshFreedom (extreme Jimi Hendrix voice) Hey, Joe. Where you going with that foot in your mouth?
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
18 days
@human_clickbait This reminds me of this stupid online thing. I wonder if Marie is aware that she can use something to hold the cold metal cup.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
5 years
Megan Rapinoe going out of her way to earn a trip to the White House for the sole purpose of rejecting a trip to the White House is pretty incredible.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
4 years
@tipado He switched his phone from his right to his left so his right would be free to swing. He did a "hold my beer" with himself.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
7 years
When you nut but she's not your wife & your wife leaves you & you get injured & your dad dies & you're drinking & life is still sucking.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
6 years
A marathon a day on an artificial leg while his cancer was coming back. Terry Fox was the baddest motherfucker we will ever see.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
5 years
@nachosarah @DesiJed @AndyRichter Jesus might wash the guy’s feet at least
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
2 years
@banalplay That’s a gross oversimplification. Canadian advocates fought hard to allow Canadians to die with dignity. To use it as a cudgel to attack acknowledged problems in our social safety net is a little unfair.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
10 months
@TheWapplehouse You know that some junior painfully, slowly explained this to him. “Oh I see. Takes a minute.” “Yes, sir. It does take a minute.”
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
6 months
@BrandyLJensen Are you saying I can't manage a 26% interest rate mortgage? You're a hater.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
4 years
@jen_elaine13 @MelissaBlasius @abc15 Counterpoint: this is extremely funny.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
5 years
@LegKickTKO @aaron_clarey hollowing out two french baguettes like a bread bowl and using them.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
5 years
Mike Budenholzer always looks like he’s late for work but just found out that a tree branch fell on his car.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
2 years
@mandolakes This is completely insane. She's going up to random acquaintances doing the Austin Powers "it's a man!" thing and she's somehow shocked by the reaction.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
6 years
@sproudfoot The old Milwaukee Brewers logo (the glove) was in the shape of an M and a B. I...am an idiot.
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@MrButterChicken
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7 years
"You give me the...sweetest tattoo."
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@MrButterChicken
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4 years
@BostonPatrolmen @BobbyBigWheel @AceHardware Well, glad you didn’t shoot the employee. Baby steps, I guess.
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@MrButterChicken
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9 months
@RyanVVallace @CptAllenHistory @Ilantoren0 Hey, is this Lebanese guy Lebanese?
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
11 months
@tomgara @DGisSERIOUS Catch someone vaping? Ok, I can see that. Catch a covert dick tug and titty grab? Huh. That’s impressive.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
1 year
@theoceanblooms @1followernodad It also implies that they believe that they should be paid, not the other way around.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
4 years
@FantasyFootBub @Chiefs @TomPelissero It's kind of weird that other countries in the world have taken steps to contain its spread and they've been able to open up. It's almost as if the US has fucked this up then just shrugs its shoulders like, "what can you do?"
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@MrButterChicken
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1 year
@1followernodad He looks like an enormous baby and that's very exciting to me.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
7 months
@lukeisamazing Super Bowl inshallah.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
6 years
The people of Toronto must do everything in their power to prevent Kawhi Leonard from going outside today.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
5 months
@HannahPosted My babies
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
2 years
@FootyScran @SpursOfficial "Give me the pizza with cum all over it, please."
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
7 years
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
2 months
@xtyna_ How did they think to even negotiate the division of the membership? How bitter was this divorce?
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
4 years
@AuntieNiz @MedicTrommasher @thot_grimes Nancy cheated on Barack. I thought they loved each other.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
2 years
Watching Yankees fan celebrate is like watching a Nuremberg rally
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
4 years
I’m going to grow my hair like Farrah Fawcett and none of my haters can stop me.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
8 years
Cut to: *Giuliani's VCR flashes 12:00 in his NY apartment*
@CNNPolitics
CNN Politics
8 years
BREAKING: The Trump transition team announces that Rudy Giuliani will advise Trump on cybersecurity
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
1 year
@brooksbarnesNYT What the living hell are you even doing here? Laundering the Kochs? Did the Sacklers turn down an interview of something?
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
4 years
@tipado What must have been going through his head at that moment.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
4 years
@SheRatesDogs Clearly misunderstood foreplay.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
2 years
@FreakLimner @revengegrill Because if the cat is very active at night, it fucks with your sleep patterns and deprives the owner of sleep. That said, I would think that putting the cat in another room (that had a door that could be closed) at night might be a better option for some people.
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@MrButterChicken
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1 year
@1followernodad "I think my problem is that I'm a pushover, a doormat to everyone in my life." "Huh, it says here that the consensus is that your incandescent rage makes your life hell for all of those close to you. I'm sensing a disconnect."
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
1 month
@derekbwriting @Neumie77 You heard, Jason. This is absolutely beyond the pale weird nerd shit. This is unimportant. Stop acting mad about bullshit.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
6 years
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
5 years
@RepJuanVargas "Questioning support for the U.S.-Israel relationship is unacceptable." The political freedom we know, love and respect.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
6 years
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
2 years
@Unionhawk @TrueCrazyFrog @elonmusk It’s pretty obvious. That frog killed Jeffrey Epstein.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
2 years
@CaucasianJames I also think of your father when I see it.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
6 years
@LPNational Someone who has gone through their windshield during a car accident because seatbelt laws infringe on their rights.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
6 months
@candon_sean @TheWapplehouse Honestly, I’m 90% sure that Daniel Craig’s character in Knives Out is based on this tweet
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@MrButterChicken
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2 years
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
6 years
@SamsungDaReal @bundesautobahn7 @AdamSchefter I honestly think if he applied himself and there was a little good luck, Peterman could throw 6 picks in a half.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
5 years
@drmattdambrosio @vornietom That'll never wor-- oh wait, hold on.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
4 months
@focusfronting After a while, I realized that the bison was taking care of me.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
6 years
Aaron Hernandez killed people and then hung himself in jail.
@BillSimmons
Bill Simmons
6 years
Other than Brady tearing his ACL in 2008, of all the Belichick regular seasons, this might be the single bleakest Patriots week.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
10 months
@sublimebombast At what point do you hold the former owner responsible? They basically leave their babies to be raised by wolves and cash out.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
2 years
@Ugarles Campy but condescending and unlikeable. Let's see if it works.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
8 years
Interesting Gordie Howe fact: he was built like a brick shithouse.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
2 years
🎶A little ditty About Mark and Briane Two Canadian kids growing up in the heartland Markie wants to be your town’s MP Briane is a mom who’s imaginary
@markstrahl
Mark Strahl, MP
2 years
Briane is a single mom from Chilliwack working a minimum wage job. She gave $50 to the convoy when it was 100% legal. She hasn’t participated in any other way. Her bank account has now been frozen. This is who Justin Trudeau is actually targeting with his Emergencies Act orders.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
2 years
I hate - absolutely HATE - the use of the word “fraud” when describing pro athletes. These are men and women who compete at the highest level & sacrifice their bodies and health for our entertainment and should be respected regardless of the results. Also Kirk Cousins is a fraud.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
4 years
Shout out to @wojespn today, who calls them as he sees them.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
2 months
@coolhandluka_ This makes in funnier
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
3 years
@DragonflyJonez This is the worst slogan I’ve ever heard
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
6 years
The way to out a Canadian is to drink a Bloody Mary in front of them and say, “ahhhhh, nothing is better than this.”
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
8 years
@Fred_Delicious *kid shows up to play in a full beard and reading glasses* Director: "Goddammit."
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
2 years
@FootyScran @telfordutd FACT ABOUT BRITAIN: it is illegal to apply heat to any cheese product.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
6 months
@NBA_University @ShamsCharania "These aren't the drugs you're looking for."
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
5 years
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
5 years
@andrew_chung_ @VanityFair "I feel that women may rue the day that all of this started when no one jerks off into a potted plant in front of them."
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
1 year
@Universe__Lover That's basically a free gun if you have good reaction time.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
7 years
I got my first real six-string Bought it at the five-and-dime Played it 'til my fingers bled Was the summer of T H E B L O O D G U I T A R
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
1 month
@matttomic You know that the 2nd Team would win within five years of starting up, making the Leafs' situation ten times funnier.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
5 years
@disco_socialist @CharmingGrump It’s weird that Canada is all black persons. Don’t think that’s correct.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
4 years
Replace him with older Macaulay Culkin. Get weird.
@1010WINS
1010 WINS
4 years
Petition calls on Disney to remove Trump's 'Home Alone 2' cameo from 'tarnished' film, replace him with Biden
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
4 years
@NameIsBond_JB @WalshFreedom It’s almost as if America was founded on racism
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
1 year
@Wonton_Goodsoup I don't believe you. You're trying to keep the Titanic all for yourself!!!!
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@MrButterChicken
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2 years
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
2 years
Here's my cancellable food take: sandwiches and burgers that are overpacked and completely fall apart after a couple of bites are completely useless. STRUCTURAL SANDWICH INTEGRITY IS IMPORTANT. Look at this thing - there's going to be scrambled eggs flying everywhere. Useless.
@firstwefeast
First We Feast
2 years
The MOUND of soft scrambled eggs 😲😲 📷: eggbredoc/IG Name your perfect breakfast sandwich. Take it to the comments.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
4 years
It's pretty insane that Dan O'Toole from TSN tweeted about what he portrayed as a child abduction but was actually just a fight with the mother of his kid and we just moved on like it wasn't a completely bizarre and offensive thing to do.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
5 years
@valhallabckgirl @FanSince09 His mother-in-law turned him in. Jesus, he must be a prince.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
3 months
@youwouldntpost This appears to have been made as a complex promotional video for his daughter, who plays the singer in the movie and is a singer in real life.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
8 years
You can't spell "Oilers" without L-O-S-E-R.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
2 months
@baskgod They're good women, Bask. They're just trying to unwind.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
9 years
On the plus side, Josh Duggar appears to be seeking consensual relationships with adults, so that's progress.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
1 year
@wartranslated The war in a single image.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
4 years
Did I just see a murder?
@KatieGibas
Katie Gibas
4 years
Current situation in #Buffalo as police work to enforce the 8 p.m. curfew in Niagara Square. Caution: there is some vulgar language in the video. Tune to @SPECNewsBuffalo for the latest. Video Courtesy: Photojournalist Anthony Nelson
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
7 years
@BraddJaffy @russbengtson "Unmanned? Brilliant!"
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
25 days
@Matt_Winkelman @AlwaysWinning1 Were they playing in a bog? A cranberry patch?
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
2 years
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
2 years
@BillMcCord54 @felderpaul "HE'S PUNCHING ME HE'S PUNCHING ME AGAIN JESUS CHRIST THIS HURTS"
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
4 years
@greenfield64 Agreed. Gotta hear both sides about whether the American government should murder its citizens.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
8 years
@NateDiaz209 do you understand how supply & demand works?
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
2 years
@CarloColaiacovo It's almost like increasing numbers of sick children, which could perhaps be lowered by mask mandates where required, cause medicine shortages.
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@MrButterChicken
Jeremy Flagrants
8 years
I LOVE Justin Bieber's new blond dreadlocks look!!! HOT! I just can't help think that I've seen it somewhere before.
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