Jeremy Flagrants @MrButterChicken Twitter profile

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Jeremy Flagrants

@MrButterChicken

11 years

I like the way you work it. No dignity.

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Jeremy Flagrants

@MrButterChicken

2 years

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@MrButterChicken

2 years

@MediumSizeMeech @dustinparkes If I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard that story I would have one shiny nickel

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@MrButterChicken

4 years

@lindsayggunn @sarahschauer Puce is the worst colour name possible. Sounds like a medieval insult.

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@MrButterChicken

4 years

It's amazing how police actually can choose not to fire their guns even if they are in danger. Weird.

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@MrButterChicken

19 days

@SweatieAngle That guy gets vaguely racist and homophobic at the end of that thread.

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@MrButterChicken

5 years

@aaron_clarey AGREED. WHERE ARE THE GODDAMN SHOES?

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@MrButterChicken

1 year

@CushMiz @WrittenByHanna Hayden Christensen's worst day on earth.

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@MrButterChicken

2 years

@dougmastriano Why were your alarms set???? What did you know????

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@MrButterChicken

7 years

@WalshFreedom (extreme Jimi Hendrix voice) Hey, Joe. Where you going with that foot in your mouth?

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Jeremy Flagrants

@MrButterChicken

18 days

@human_clickbait This reminds me of this stupid online thing. I wonder if Marie is aware that she can use something to hold the cold metal cup.

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@MrButterChicken

5 years

Megan Rapinoe going out of her way to earn a trip to the White House for the sole purpose of rejecting a trip to the White House is pretty incredible.

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Jeremy Flagrants

@MrButterChicken

4 years

@tipado He switched his phone from his right to his left so his right would be free to swing. He did a "hold my beer" with himself.

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@MrButterChicken

6 years

@gourmetspud @BuckFOX5 @juliojones_11 @M_Ryan02 @devontafreeman @AtlantaFalcons @GoodDayAtlanta I can’t believe a grown man goes by Buck.

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Jeremy Flagrants

@MrButterChicken

7 years

When you nut but she's not your wife & your wife leaves you & you get injured & your dad dies & you're drinking & life is still sucking.

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Jeremy Flagrants

@MrButterChicken

6 years

A marathon a day on an artificial leg while his cancer was coming back. Terry Fox was the baddest motherfucker we will ever see.

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@MrButterChicken

5 years

@nachosarah @DesiJed @AndyRichter Jesus might wash the guy’s feet at least

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Jeremy Flagrants

@MrButterChicken

2 years

@banalplay That’s a gross oversimplification. Canadian advocates fought hard to allow Canadians to die with dignity. To use it as a cudgel to attack acknowledged problems in our social safety net is a little unfair.

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@MrButterChicken

10 months

@TheWapplehouse You know that some junior painfully, slowly explained this to him. “Oh I see. Takes a minute.” “Yes, sir. It does take a minute.”

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Jeremy Flagrants

@MrButterChicken

6 months

@BrandyLJensen Are you saying I can't manage a 26% interest rate mortgage? You're a hater.

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@MrButterChicken

4 years

@jen_elaine13 @MelissaBlasius @abc15 Counterpoint: this is extremely funny.

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@MrButterChicken

5 years

@LegKickTKO @aaron_clarey hollowing out two french baguettes like a bread bowl and using them.

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@MrButterChicken

5 years

Mike Budenholzer always looks like he’s late for work but just found out that a tree branch fell on his car.

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@MrButterChicken

2 years

@mandolakes This is completely insane. She's going up to random acquaintances doing the Austin Powers "it's a man!" thing and she's somehow shocked by the reaction.

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@MrButterChicken

6 years

@sproudfoot The old Milwaukee Brewers logo (the glove) was in the shape of an M and a B. I...am an idiot.

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@MrButterChicken

7 years

"You give me the...sweetest tattoo."

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@MrButterChicken

4 years

@BostonPatrolmen @BobbyBigWheel @AceHardware Well, glad you didn’t shoot the employee. Baby steps, I guess.

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@MrButterChicken

9 months

@RyanVVallace @CptAllenHistory @Ilantoren0 Hey, is this Lebanese guy Lebanese?

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@MrButterChicken

11 months

@tomgara @DGisSERIOUS Catch someone vaping? Ok, I can see that. Catch a covert dick tug and titty grab? Huh. That’s impressive.

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@MrButterChicken

1 year

@theoceanblooms @1followernodad It also implies that they believe that they should be paid, not the other way around.

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@MrButterChicken

4 years

@FantasyFootBub @Chiefs @TomPelissero It's kind of weird that other countries in the world have taken steps to contain its spread and they've been able to open up. It's almost as if the US has fucked this up then just shrugs its shoulders like, "what can you do?"

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@MrButterChicken

1 year

@1followernodad He looks like an enormous baby and that's very exciting to me.

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@MrButterChicken

7 months

@lukeisamazing Super Bowl inshallah.

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@MrButterChicken

6 years

The people of Toronto must do everything in their power to prevent Kawhi Leonard from going outside today.

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@MrButterChicken

5 months

@HannahPosted My babies

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@MrButterChicken

2 years

@FootyScran @SpursOfficial "Give me the pizza with cum all over it, please."

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Jeremy Flagrants

@MrButterChicken

7 years

. @NickKristof @scottfeschuk

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@MrButterChicken

2 months

@xtyna_ How did they think to even negotiate the division of the membership? How bitter was this divorce?

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@MrButterChicken

4 years

@AuntieNiz @MedicTrommasher @thot_grimes Nancy cheated on Barack. I thought they loved each other.

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@MrButterChicken

2 years

Watching Yankees fan celebrate is like watching a Nuremberg rally

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@MrButterChicken

4 years

I’m going to grow my hair like Farrah Fawcett and none of my haters can stop me.

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@MrButterChicken

8 years

Cut to: *Giuliani's VCR flashes 12:00 in his NY apartment*

CNN Politics

@CNNPolitics

8 years

BREAKING: The Trump transition team announces that Rudy Giuliani will advise Trump on cybersecurity

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@MrButterChicken

1 year

@brooksbarnesNYT What the living hell are you even doing here? Laundering the Kochs? Did the Sacklers turn down an interview of something?

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@MrButterChicken

4 years

@tipado What must have been going through his head at that moment.

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@MrButterChicken

4 years

@SheRatesDogs Clearly misunderstood foreplay.

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@MrButterChicken

2 years

@FreakLimner @revengegrill Because if the cat is very active at night, it fucks with your sleep patterns and deprives the owner of sleep. That said, I would think that putting the cat in another room (that had a door that could be closed) at night might be a better option for some people.

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Jeremy Flagrants

@MrButterChicken

1 year

@1followernodad "I think my problem is that I'm a pushover, a doormat to everyone in my life." "Huh, it says here that the consensus is that your incandescent rage makes your life hell for all of those close to you. I'm sensing a disconnect."

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Jeremy Flagrants

@MrButterChicken

1 month

@derekbwriting @Neumie77 You heard, Jason. This is absolutely beyond the pale weird nerd shit. This is unimportant. Stop acting mad about bullshit.

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Jeremy Flagrants

@MrButterChicken

6 years

@T_Rozzay3 @Ethan_Booker Osama Bin Lay-up.

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@MrButterChicken

5 years

@RepJuanVargas "Questioning support for the U.S.-Israel relationship is unacceptable." The political freedom we know, love and respect.

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@MrButterChicken

6 years

@CNN

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@MrButterChicken

2 years

@Unionhawk @TrueCrazyFrog @elonmusk It’s pretty obvious. That frog killed Jeffrey Epstein.

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@MrButterChicken

2 years

@CaucasianJames I also think of your father when I see it.

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@MrButterChicken

6 years

@LPNational Someone who has gone through their windshield during a car accident because seatbelt laws infringe on their rights.

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@MrButterChicken

6 months

@candon_sean @TheWapplehouse Honestly, I’m 90% sure that Daniel Craig’s character in Knives Out is based on this tweet

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@MrButterChicken

2 years

@yaffaesque @jm_mcgrath

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@MrButterChicken

6 years

@SamsungDaReal @bundesautobahn7 @AdamSchefter I honestly think if he applied himself and there was a little good luck, Peterman could throw 6 picks in a half.

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@MrButterChicken

5 years

@drmattdambrosio @vornietom That'll never wor-- oh wait, hold on.

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@MrButterChicken

4 months

@focusfronting After a while, I realized that the bison was taking care of me.

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@MrButterChicken

6 years

Aaron Hernandez killed people and then hung himself in jail.

Bill Simmons

@BillSimmons

6 years

Other than Brady tearing his ACL in 2008, of all the Belichick regular seasons, this might be the single bleakest Patriots week.

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@MrButterChicken

10 months

@sublimebombast At what point do you hold the former owner responsible? They basically leave their babies to be raised by wolves and cash out.

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@MrButterChicken

2 years

@Ugarles Campy but condescending and unlikeable. Let's see if it works.

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@MrButterChicken

8 years

Interesting Gordie Howe fact: he was built like a brick shithouse.

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@MrButterChicken

2 years

🎶A little ditty About Mark and Briane Two Canadian kids growing up in the heartland Markie wants to be your town’s MP Briane is a mom who’s imaginary

Mark Strahl, MP

@markstrahl

2 years

Briane is a single mom from Chilliwack working a minimum wage job. She gave $50 to the convoy when it was 100% legal. She hasn’t participated in any other way. Her bank account has now been frozen. This is who Justin Trudeau is actually targeting with his Emergencies Act orders.

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@MrButterChicken

2 years

I hate - absolutely HATE - the use of the word “fraud” when describing pro athletes. These are men and women who compete at the highest level & sacrifice their bodies and health for our entertainment and should be respected regardless of the results. Also Kirk Cousins is a fraud.

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@MrButterChicken

4 years

Shout out to @wojespn today, who calls them as he sees them.

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@MrButterChicken

2 months

@coolhandluka_ This makes in funnier

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@MrButterChicken

3 years

@DragonflyJonez This is the worst slogan I’ve ever heard

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@MrButterChicken

2 years

@Unionhawk @TrueCrazyFrog @elonmusk

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@MrButterChicken

6 years

The way to out a Canadian is to drink a Bloody Mary in front of them and say, “ahhhhh, nothing is better than this.”

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@MrButterChicken

8 years

@Fred_Delicious *kid shows up to play in a full beard and reading glasses* Director: "Goddammit."

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@MrButterChicken

2 years

@FootyScran @telfordutd FACT ABOUT BRITAIN: it is illegal to apply heat to any cheese product.

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@MrButterChicken

6 months

@NBA_University @ShamsCharania "These aren't the drugs you're looking for."

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@MrButterChicken

5 years

@CNNPolitics

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@MrButterChicken

5 years

@andrew_chung_ @VanityFair "I feel that women may rue the day that all of this started when no one jerks off into a potted plant in front of them."

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@MrButterChicken

1 year

@Universe__Lover That's basically a free gun if you have good reaction time.

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@MrButterChicken

7 years

I got my first real six-string Bought it at the five-and-dime Played it 'til my fingers bled Was the summer of T H E B L O O D G U I T A R

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@MrButterChicken

1 month

@matttomic You know that the 2nd Team would win within five years of starting up, making the Leafs' situation ten times funnier.

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@MrButterChicken

5 years

@disco_socialist @CharmingGrump It’s weird that Canada is all black persons. Don’t think that’s correct.

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@MrButterChicken

4 years

Replace him with older Macaulay Culkin. Get weird.

1010 WINS

@1010WINS

4 years

Petition calls on Disney to remove Trump's 'Home Alone 2' cameo from 'tarnished' film, replace him with Biden

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@MrButterChicken

4 years

@NameIsBond_JB @WalshFreedom It’s almost as if America was founded on racism

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@MrButterChicken

1 year

@Wonton_Goodsoup I don't believe you. You're trying to keep the Titanic all for yourself!!!!

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@MrButterChicken

2 years

@CaucasianJames

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@MrButterChicken

2 years

Here's my cancellable food take: sandwiches and burgers that are overpacked and completely fall apart after a couple of bites are completely useless. STRUCTURAL SANDWICH INTEGRITY IS IMPORTANT. Look at this thing - there's going to be scrambled eggs flying everywhere. Useless.

First We Feast

@firstwefeast

2 years

The MOUND of soft scrambled eggs 😲😲 📷: eggbredoc/IG Name your perfect breakfast sandwich. Take it to the comments.

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Jeremy Flagrants

@MrButterChicken

4 years

It's pretty insane that Dan O'Toole from TSN tweeted about what he portrayed as a child abduction but was actually just a fight with the mother of his kid and we just moved on like it wasn't a completely bizarre and offensive thing to do.

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@MrButterChicken

5 years

@valhallabckgirl @FanSince09 His mother-in-law turned him in. Jesus, he must be a prince.

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@MrButterChicken

3 months

@youwouldntpost This appears to have been made as a complex promotional video for his daughter, who plays the singer in the movie and is a singer in real life.

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@MrButterChicken

8 years

You can't spell "Oilers" without L-O-S-E-R.

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@MrButterChicken

2 months

@baskgod They're good women, Bask. They're just trying to unwind.

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@MrButterChicken

9 years

On the plus side, Josh Duggar appears to be seeking consensual relationships with adults, so that's progress.

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@MrButterChicken

1 year

@wartranslated The war in a single image.

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@MrButterChicken

4 years

Did I just see a murder?

Katie Gibas

@KatieGibas

4 years

Current situation in #Buffalo as police work to enforce the 8 p.m. curfew in Niagara Square. Caution: there is some vulgar language in the video. Tune to @SPECNewsBuffalo for the latest. Video Courtesy: Photojournalist Anthony Nelson

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@MrButterChicken

7 years

@BraddJaffy @russbengtson "Unmanned? Brilliant!"

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@MrButterChicken

25 days

@Matt_Winkelman @AlwaysWinning1 Were they playing in a bog? A cranberry patch?

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@MrButterChicken

2 years

@sarr_flare07 @Ilana_Stern @omarsakrpoet @elonmusk @DaveChapelle @chrisrock I think this applies to Dave Chapelle as well.

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@MrButterChicken

2 years

@BillMcCord54 @felderpaul "HE'S PUNCHING ME HE'S PUNCHING ME AGAIN JESUS CHRIST THIS HURTS"

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@MrButterChicken

4 years

@greenfield64 Agreed. Gotta hear both sides about whether the American government should murder its citizens.

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@MrButterChicken

8 years

@NateDiaz209 do you understand how supply & demand works?

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@MrButterChicken

2 years

@CarloColaiacovo It's almost like increasing numbers of sick children, which could perhaps be lowered by mask mandates where required, cause medicine shortages.

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@MrButterChicken

8 years

I LOVE Justin Bieber's new blond dreadlocks look!!! HOT! I just can't help think that I've seen it somewhere before.

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