Ghoul Hand Spooky @coolhandluka_ Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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@diegulandim

Ghoul Hand Spooky

@coolhandluka_

6 months

My nonbinary sibling just forwarded this birthday text they got from our grandma. They’ve been nonbinary for like 8 years, and apparently Grandma’s takeaway after all that time is, “Nathan changed his first name to Them.”

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@coolhandluka_

6 months

I’m beginning to see why the pronoun shift has been so hard for her

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Ghoul Hand Spooky

@coolhandluka_

2 years

@HamHock42 going to google and searching “I, Jeff Clark, murdered my wife, Suzanne Clark, at my home (1305 Cherry Ave.) and now I would like to dispose of her body so that the police don’t catch me and charge me with murder, which is the crime I did. What should I do, google dot com?”

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@coolhandluka_

6 years

@usedwigs Tony Stark [entering frame]: “Maybe we could catch the B- the B- [pauses to compose himself] the Boy II Man reunion tour.”

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@coolhandluka_

5 months

remember when she just lip-synced Donald Trump for like 45 seconds and then Netflix gave her an entire show?

Protect Cryptocurrency Investments

@vodkasnowflake

5 months

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@coolhandluka_

6 months

@SighFieri

Ghoul Hand Spooky

@coolhandluka_

6 months

@StuartScottsEye Oh yeah, she’s come a long way from a few years ago, when she told Nathan they were too sensitive at Easter and complained about there being too many rules in PC culture

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@coolhandluka_

4 years

Here’s a long-overdue and heartfelt thank you to @IanKarmel . I’ll begin with some background info. I work for an alternative high school in Seattle. The school runs two homes for some of the students, a “boys house” and a “girls house.” My wife and I manage the boys house. (1/)

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Ghoul Hand Spooky

@coolhandluka_

1 year

Felix Hernandez’s career was filled with starts where he went 7 innings, allowed two runs or fewer, and took the loss. Thankfully, the 2023 Mariners are very different. Now we have *four* starters who regularly go 7 innings, allow two runs or fewer, and take the loss.

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@coolhandluka_

6 years

@ClueHeywood This is so so good. My wife worked for a family who had one and they kept theirs in the workout corner of there garage, where these kinds of things belong, rather than prominently featured next to their dining room table like the buffoons in these ads

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@coolhandluka_

5 years

@handleyzo @OffworldJosh @_Floodlight The best illustration to quantify a billion I’ve heard is that a million seconds equals roughly 11 days, but a billion seconds translates to 32 YEARS. So if Gates and Bezos spent $100 every second of every day, it would take them over 32 years to run dry. Cool system we have here

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@coolhandluka_

6 months

@SighFieri We do genuinely appreciate the attempts. Fox News and Facebook may have turned her brain into Swiss cheese, but she’s still trying and still loves Nathan.

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@coolhandluka_

7 months

@defnotadino No, I think this is sweet. And if she thinks it’s insane, you can say “sorry, I was high”

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@coolhandluka_

8 months

lol imagine having 300k followers and then being Mad Online at some low-level tech sales guy from Seattle

Will Compton

@_willcompton

8 months

I’m sure you have a hard enough time getting your socks on in the the morning and this photo right here makes me believe you wouldn’t get out of your stance quick enough in the Oklahoma drill Imagine your morning routine after I fucking wrecked you in the A gap

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@coolhandluka_

3 years

Your periodic reminder of the majesty of @megstalter

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@coolhandluka_

5 years

@handleyzo @OffworldJosh @_Floodlight And he and Bezos have over a HUNDRED times that! If he didn’t make another penny, Jeff Bezos could pay my salary for the next 4 million years.

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@coolhandluka_

6 months

@StuartScottsEye Oh yeah, she’s come a long way from a few years ago, when she told Nathan they were too sensitive at Easter and complained about there being too many rules in PC culture

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@coolhandluka_

4 years

@BrotiGupta “I may be the youngest Vice President my firm has ever had, and I may own property in three cities, but it feels inappropriate to talk about my success today. Anyway, thank you all for coming to Dad’s memorial service.”

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@coolhandluka_

1 year

@bonerhitler @randygdub REFEREE: It’s tails; Jeff wins the coin toss. What’s your choice, Jeff? JEFF: [still recovering from his 9th concussion] I choose to defend the south end zone REFEREE: what? JEFF’S OPPONENT: [recovering from 12th concussion] my team is missing our goalie. is that a problem?

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@coolhandluka_

2 years

@HamHock42 He also could have saved himself 30-40 searches if he had just searched “body disposal step-by-step” instead of searching every single step himself

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Ghoul Hand Spooky

@coolhandluka_

11 months

This is how the cops talk in dystopian movies that get negative reviews for being too ham-fisted

LAPD HQ

@LAPDHQ

11 months

The LAPD is aware of possible first amendment activity in the Los Angeles area over the next few days. In coordination with the US Secret Service, additional uniformed personnel and other resources will be deployed to ensure the highest level of public safety.

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@coolhandluka_

11 months

@rodger ME IN THE OFFICE TODAY: hey man, did you see the video of Killian’s mid-ra— COWORKER: [interrupting] RANGE JUMPER?! YOU KNOW I DID! The way that thing bounced around the rim a little? Ohhh shit!

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Ghoul Hand Spooky

@coolhandluka_

1 year

I took my son Braedyn to see Barbie. He brought his “script” (mostly crude drawings) for Barbie 2, in which Barbie and her friends come to his school so he has someone to eat lunch with. He’s sad in this photo because the slushee machine broke, but overall we had a great time.

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Ghoul Hand Spooky

@coolhandluka_

5 years

@catdadaeternal He was also totally nonplussed by their pneumatic wall darts triggered by pressure-sensitive stones. Did every ancient Amazonian tribe in the Indianaverse know how to keep air pressurized for centuries within stone walls?

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Ghoul Hand Spooky

@coolhandluka_

2 years

House of 19 year old Reps. w/ used Civic 🤝 Looking for Speakers

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@coolhandluka_

4 years

I saw this photo on Facebook and it took me an extraordinarily long time to not see the toddler as having an adult woman’s torso complete with a big ol’ butt

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Ghoul Hand Spooky

@coolhandluka_

5 months

think about every comedian you love who busts their ass to make consistent and original jokes who have never gotten a show from Netflix

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@coolhandluka_

7 months

An airplane that generates profit but *doesn’t* disintegrate in mid-air: can one company truly have it all?

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Ghoul Hand Spooky

@coolhandluka_

4 years

When April rolled around, one of the teachers came by to take senior photos for the three seniors in our house. Jeff excitedly went to his room to change clothes. He proudly emerged wearing the flannel Ian had bought him. (11/)

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@coolhandluka_

5 years

@david_j_roth @RubinReport @jack @TwitterSupport “I blare Godsmack on my stereo at full volume at 4am every morning. On an unrelated note, my neighbors all seem to be mad at me. I have evidence this is a coordinated attack.”

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Ghoul Hand Spooky

@coolhandluka_

4 years

Ian, I don’t think I can appropriately express my gratitude to you. Your act of kindness sent huge ripples through our little community. More importantly, you helped Jeff feel proud of himself in ways he never had before. Thank you again. (13/13)

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Ghoul Hand Spooky

@coolhandluka_

5 years

@UweBollocks @JoeBiden Oh god if Biden wins the nomination, we’re gonna suffer months of tweets from him like “Donald Trump is a good President... NOT!”

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Ghoul Hand Spooky

@coolhandluka_

5 years

@Bunnyspatial @joemurph @SocialSecurity You’d think there would be at least one Jaime

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Ghoul Hand Spooky

@coolhandluka_

8 months

They still don’t know who the thief was, but statistically there’s a very good chance it was Ricky Henderson

The Associated Press

@AP

8 months

Got back! Paul McCartney's stolen bass is found and returned to the Beatle after more than 50 years

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@coolhandluka_

1 year

Say what you will about RFK Jr, but he’s the only Kennedy who has had his brains turn to mush and lived to tell the tale

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Ghoul Hand Spooky

@coolhandluka_

4 years

@DragonflyJonez I immediately clicked on the first photo to enlarge it without seeing the second, so I absorbed them one at a time. The first one: oh haha that’s pretty funny. Swipe to the second one: I’m now struggling to not wake my wife with my laughter. That was the best punchline in months

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Ghoul Hand Spooky

@coolhandluka_

4 years

I’ll tag some members of the AFE community in the hopes that they’ll see what Ian did for Jeff. @MarsMel @SeanSJordan @thegissilent @AllFantasyPod @AFE_SubReddit @afe_mel

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@coolhandluka_

2 years

Old McDonald being set in the past tense gives it an ominous subtext

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Ghoul Hand Spooky

@coolhandluka_

7 years

@GDX1776 @michaelianblack Thanks, Gregory, for reminding us about the massive amounts of money that AAA pays congress annually in efforts to deregulate cars, which are solely designed to kill people. Oh wait I got AAA and NRA mixed up again.

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@coolhandluka_

3 years

@russbengtson @KingJosiah54 Every Kemp dunk felt like it had a 5% chance of killing a defender

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Ghoul Hand Spooky

@coolhandluka_

2 years

@TridentDeck The M’s deserve to have honorary playoff roster spots added for players during the drought who deserved to make the playoffs. These players would not be eligible to play, but would get to sit in the dugout and would be recognized as full team members. Felix, Seags, Paxton, etc.

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@coolhandluka_

4 years

Fast forward to graduation night. What shirt did Jeff pick to wear under his graduation robes? You guessed it, his “dress shirt” - the black polo sent to him by one Ian Karmel of Beaverton, Oregon. (12/)

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@coolhandluka_

5 years

@Cianaf Local sports radio host: “Special thanks to fifth grader Bryan, who wrote in to the show from Cascade Elementary! His expert analysis taught us that Notre Dame is clearly more talented than Bowling Green. I know you’re in class now, Bry, but I hope you get a chance to hear this.”

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@coolhandluka_

4 years

I expected Ian to buy him a shirt or two. Nope. Ian bought Jeff several hundred dollars worth of clothes. He was careful and intentional in what he picked for Jeff. A flannel shirt, a polo, UW Huskies gear, shorts, a belt, the list went on and on. I couldn’t believe my eyes. (6/)

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Ghoul Hand Spooky

@coolhandluka_

1 year

@daledwayer @bungarsargon @Cernovich I’m sorry your daughter didn’t have someone there to kill the homeless man for her

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Ghoul Hand Spooky

@coolhandluka_

2 years

Russ while Courtland Sutton is sleeping four feet to his right

Zac Stevens

@ZacStevensDNVR

2 years

Russell Wilson worked out and stretched for four of the eight hours on the flight from Denver to London. Said he was doing high knees in the aisle when the rest of the guys were asleep.

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@coolhandluka_

3 years

today’s the day I learned to stand up for myself

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Ghoul Hand Spooky

@coolhandluka_

8 months

At least they’re stranded in the one place in America with a tried-and-true signature method for surviving a blizzard

Jonathan Petramala

@jpetramala

8 months

UPDATE: Hundreds of cars stranded on I-80 near the Donner Summit…blizzard winds and heaviest snow of the storm starting. It’s a race to see if they can clear the interstate before cars get too buried. @bclemms #california #snow #blizzard #donnerpass #CAwx

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@coolhandluka_

8 months

today I made a Barstool podcast host mad and then 15,000 guys who look like this replied to me. pretty good day all things considered

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Ghoul Hand Spooky

@coolhandluka_

4 years

Also sorry this is so late, Ian! For a long time I chose not to post anything about this because I figured you didn’t do it for the attention, but that’s a silly reason to not express my gratitude publicly.

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Ghoul Hand Spooky

@coolhandluka_

3 years

@roywoodjr I’m assuming this is stemming from something, so I’m sorry for your hurt, Roy. You manifest a lot of joy into this world and that is immeasurably important. Thank you for being you.

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@coolhandluka_

4 years

When I told my coworkers about what Ian had done, they were in shock. Our Executive Director cried. Our staff members make huge sacrifices for our students, but we always wish we could do more. These kids deserve the world, but most have experienced real pain and trauma. (9/)

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Ghoul Hand Spooky

@coolhandluka_

1 year

Forget everything you thought you knew about Mia Farrow’s porch color

Homes & Gardens

@homesandgardens

1 year

Mia Farrow's porch color has a 'subtle yet undeniable allure' that real estate agents say could 'exceed expectations'

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@coolhandluka_

4 years

Jeff began to get excited. As a bigger guy, he always struggled to find clothes that fit, and trips to the department store often left him feeling discouraged and self-conscious. The idea of another big guy picking out clothes for him was a HUGE relief and encouragement. (5/)

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@coolhandluka_

4 years

Jeff was absolutely floored. His family had struggled financially for most of his life and most of his clothes were hand-me-downs or makeshift fixes, like this nylon belt from football. Receiving new clothing was a big deal to him, especially since it came from a celebrity! (7/)

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@coolhandluka_

4 years

The staff was amazed to see this guy in Los Angeles - someone with no connection to our school - give so generously and thoughtfully to one of our students. Ian’s gift was a tangible lesson to Jeff that he is worthy of nice clothes that actually fit him well. (10/)

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@coolhandluka_

1 year

REPORTER: why didn’t you say hi to Howard Stern in his courtside seats? 20-YEAR-OLD PLAYER WHO RIGHTFULLY CAN’T NAME A SINGLE RADIO STATION: the old commissioner? his name is David

Awful Announcing

@awfulannouncing

1 year

Howard Stern upset Black NBA players ignore him while courtside: ‘Is everything racial now?’

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@coolhandluka_

4 years

Ian DM’d me and said, “I’d like to buy some new clothes for your guy!” I was blown away. I told the resident (who we’ll call Jeff) that Ian wanted to buy him new clothes. Jeff was skeptical. I showed him photos of Ian and he said, “Ian dresses well for a man of his stature!” (4/)

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@coolhandluka_

4 years

Jeff felt inspired by Ian. He learned Ian played high school football, so he made me send Ian a pic of his senior football banner. He also was encouraged to see a big guy with a successful career, especially one as visible as Ian’s. He had me thank Ian a billion times. (8/)

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@coolhandluka_

4 years

@Athens_Grease @mustachetoilet Don’t sleep on the Tr*mp bucket hat under the flag! Also one of my students was talking about liking B*rstool the other day, and I got him to completely change his mind after telling him about P*rtnoy’s awfulness for like 30 seconds lol

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Ghoul Hand Spooky

@coolhandluka_

6 months

Extremely excited for journalists to ask him about the multiverse in press junkets so he can respond, “I don’t know what the fuck that is” on camera

DiscussingFilm

@DiscussingFilm

6 months

First look at Harrison Ford as Thunderbolt Ross in ‘CAPTAIN AMERICA: BRAVE NEW WORLD’

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@coolhandluka_

4 years

Here’s a short update to help start your New Year on a high note. Shortly after I posted this thank you thread to @IanKarmel , I received a DM from his mom, @rnskook (or “Saint Sue,” as she’s affectionately known to loyal @AllFantasyPod listeners). (1/)

Ghoul Hand Spooky

@coolhandluka_

4 years

Here’s a long-overdue and heartfelt thank you to @IanKarmel . I’ll begin with some background info. I work for an alternative high school in Seattle. The school runs two homes for some of the students, a “boys house” and a “girls house.” My wife and I manage the boys house. (1/)

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@coolhandluka_

4 years

@netw3rk TONY: welcome to the Avengers. you will live in my billion dollar compound and regularly risk life and limb to save the universe FALCON: sounds great! what does it pay? TONY: zero dollars a year FALCON: how about benefits? or a pension or 401k? TONY: ha why would I do that

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@coolhandluka_

2 years

Look, the guy’s got some flaws. But staging a photo to imply your third wife murdered your first wife and then buried her in a shallow grave with a golden shovel? That’s peak comedy, baby.

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Ghoul Hand Spooky

@coolhandluka_

10 months

For me, today is a day of mourning. It’s is the day my dad passed away, gunned down by a West German terrorist at his office’s holiday party. This is my favorite photo of him. You can tell from this picture how much love and joy he had. Miss you, Dad.

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Ghoul Hand Spooky

@coolhandluka_

2 years

@CurtisWenis @HamHock42 He also jumped remarkably quickly from “should I divorce her?” to “no, that’s not enough; I am committed to doing something much more drastic,” and during the holiday week no less

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@coolhandluka_

4 years

Back in January, Ian asked his followers if they knew where he could donate his old clothes. Half-jokingly, I asked him if he wanted to mail them to me in Seattle because we had a kid who could use them. I never expected an answer, let alone that he’d actually send us stuff. (3/)

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@coolhandluka_

8 months

He won’t be in the Hall of Fame for the same reason I won’t be in the Hall of Fame: neither of us are good at football

Will Compton

@_willcompton

8 months

I’ll say this.. There’s a reason I won’t be in the Hall of Fame and I’ll leave it at that The things I’ve signed forbid me from talking about it

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@coolhandluka_

7 months

After explaining the concept of college to our preschooler, his only two follow-up questions were, “so I’ll live with my friends? then who will my mom and dad be?” and “when will I go to bed?”

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@coolhandluka_

4 years

The school primarily serves at-risk youth. Nearly all of our residents come from low-income families and/or broken homes. Our two current residents were both previously unhoused, to give you an idea of the types of kids we serve. (2/)

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Ghoul Hand Spooky

@coolhandluka_

4 years

@hwkbgr Licking my lips picturing Russ stepping under center, seeing 9 defenders in the box, heaving a deep sigh, and handing the ball to Carlos Hyde

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@coolhandluka_

5 years

@QueenMab87 “It’s not a prejudice, but rather a judgment ahead of time — a sort of ‘pre-judgement,’ if you will. A synonymous term might even be ‘prejudi-‘ oh crap.”

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@coolhandluka_

3 years

@cheerful_ExGF @bee_are_ There will be one disinterested 72-year-old neighbor who half-watches the entire thing from her balcony while smoking cigarettes in a nightgown

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@coolhandluka_

5 years

@david_j_roth @ReaganBattalion “My dad died from polio. Why should future generations get the privilege of receiving a vaccine?” - these same kinds of people in 1955, probably

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@coolhandluka_

11 months

@ByYourLogic Colorado GOP-mandated enthusiasm

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@coolhandluka_

1 year

I worked exclusively with at-risk youth for like seven years, and a 12-year-old saying he wants to be a hedge fund manager is a bigger red flag than anything I’ve ever seen

The Sporting News

@sportingnews

1 year

These Little League players have an eye in finance for their future 💰

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@coolhandluka_

2 years

Cocaine Bear (2023)

ABC 7 Chicago

@ABC7Chicago

2 years

Former Chicago Bears wide receiver Sam Hurd has been released from a federal prison after serving time for cocaine trafficking charges.

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@coolhandluka_

4 years

@IanKarmel Then I’m glad I shared it! Thanks for doing what you do for others, in public and private

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@coolhandluka_

2 years

Folks… I GOT THE JOB! I AM A GOLDEN GOD! Thanks for the vibes you sent.

Ghoul Hand Spooky

@coolhandluka_

2 years

Big interview in three hours. Send me every good vibe you have. “B-b-but Luka,” you whine, “I need my vibes today.” I don’t care what you have going on today, this is more important. I need these vibes.

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@coolhandluka_

5 years

@KrangTNelson To be fair, given our country’s trajectory we’re probably only like 9 months away from privatized police forces. Steel yourself for Amazon Peace rolling through your town

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@coolhandluka_

8 months

got dressed in the dark and I’m real glad I noticed before I left the house that I look like I’m wearing a damn flight suit

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@coolhandluka_

7 months

@defnotadino Yeah it seems like there’s no downside to this. It could be healing for you, and even if it’s received poorly by her, it’s not like there’s anything to lose on your end. Hoping for the best though

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@coolhandluka_

4 years

NEWS ANCHOR: Philadelphia General has reported that political consultant Harlan Hill, age — [looks at teleprompter text and then a photo of Hill] well, that’s gotta be a misprint — anyway, Hill was hospitalized after being mauled by a Pomeranian who mistook him for a chew toy.

HARLAN Z. HILL 🇺🇸

@Harlan

4 years

I’m going to Philly tomorrow with a team. This is war.

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@coolhandluka_

2 years

CONTRACTOR: let’s talk about what kind of staircase you want ME: is there an option that’s terrifying in every conceivable way?

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@coolhandluka_

4 years

@UweBollocks THERAPIST: how has your homework been going? PAPA JOHN: it actually has been going pretty nig- [straining] hey I caught myself that time! I think we’re seeing some real improvement n***** here! THERAPIST: ooh you just said it again. did you hear it?

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@coolhandluka_

3 years

[elbowing my wife] that’s Spanish for ‘The Fitness’

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@coolhandluka_

5 years

@caseybboyd In *this* economy?!

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@coolhandluka_

2 years

@0wBlank @RyanMcKinnell @SanJoseSharks This is exactly the kind of counter-argument I’d expect from someone who subscribed to Twitter Blue.

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@coolhandluka_

2 years

Special thanks to Ryan Reynolds for getting me through the flight

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@coolhandluka_

8 months

Will! You’re a celebrity! Why are you still giving this thread a single second of thought? I’m some loser on the other side of the country who never even played football! Of course you’re tougher than me!

Will Compton

@_willcompton

8 months

@coolhandluka_ Welcome to the octagon

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Ghoul Hand Spooky

@coolhandluka_

2 years

Update: I got to take Jeff and his best buddy who also lived in the boys house (how are they already 21?!) to last night’s @AllFantasyPod show. @IanKarmel , @SeanSJordan , and David “not on twitter” Gborie went out of their way to make time to talk with us after the show.

Ghoul Hand Spooky

@coolhandluka_

4 years

Here’s a long-overdue and heartfelt thank you to @IanKarmel . I’ll begin with some background info. I work for an alternative high school in Seattle. The school runs two homes for some of the students, a “boys house” and a “girls house.” My wife and I manage the boys house. (1/)

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Ghoul Hand Spooky

@coolhandluka_

5 months

@inthefade

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Ghoul Hand Spooky

@coolhandluka_

4 years

@virgiltexas @DanRather “Dan’s tweets leave me nothing but wet!” - Bradley Whitford

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Ghoul Hand Spooky

@coolhandluka_

2 years

It’s time for John Hamm to reveal which Deadspin commenter he was. There will never be another chance

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Ghoul Hand Spooky

@coolhandluka_

2 years

“Turn on the TV for me, penis boy!” - my son’s very first words to me this morning

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Ghoul Hand Spooky

@coolhandluka_

9 months

@TeoscarH @MarinerMuse Seattle misses you already, Teo! Best of luck this next season!

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@coolhandluka_

2 years

My enemies can only dream of being on my level

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@coolhandluka_

5 years

@Jennife75220282 @UweBollocks @JoeBiden You raise a good point Jennife75220282

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Ghoul Hand Spooky

@coolhandluka_

10 months

To you, January 6 might be a day to make fun of certain people. To my friend @HamHock42 , it’s a day that represents a bonding moment for the ages between a father and his sons. It’s the day he went from being a boy dad to a Proud Boy dad. Let’s try to be a little sensitive.

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Ghoul Hand Spooky

@coolhandluka_

2 years

what idiot called it customizable footwear instead of “shoes: your own adventure”

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