Jonathan @jnsyaaa Twitter profile

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Jonathan

11 months

no homo but I want to be cradled in the arms of an immense masculine being who’s capable of unspeakable violence against those who would do me harm but feels nothing but tenderness and care towards me

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

6 months

last year my friendship group was rocked by an incident where one male friend asked another male friend to give him an honest looks rating and the friend gave him a 2 (out of 10)

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

7 months

Berlin is full of gay guys in their 40s who look at least 10 years younger but they still go out dancing + taking drugs for 36 hours straight every weekend Is anyone studying this Dorian Gray magic? Where do they get their stamina? How do they look so youthful?

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

10 months

What do you do when a friend sends a link or meme that you don't like? Sending a placatory "haha" feels inauthentic, and doing a full honest "ahh didn't find that funny sorry" feels like weird vibe-killing overkill. Not replying feels deadening to the relationship

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

10 months

I used to think casual sex and casual dating were good because variety helped you find what you like. But a deeply meaningful relationship this year showed me how much I’d been holding back. My experiences b4 weren’t variety - it was the same kind of sex/relationship many times

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

6 months

the rating receiver was really hurt and upset, and the rating giver was criticised for being unnecessarily cruel with his rating

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

6 months

incredible strat

internet george (clairvoyant)

@internet_geo

6 months

@jnsyaaa easy fix: have the rater give an example of a 1 (he will happily oblige), then ask for a 10. His guard being down he will provide an answer. Once the 10 example is given, ridicule him that he is indeed ‘gay.’ This only works if the rater is not gay.

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

5 months

I think the best metaphor for inner work is pushing something up your ass it’s the same cycles of tension and relaxation forcing doesn’t work but slow patient persistent effort does there are inevitable sudden contractions tht make you feel like you’re back where you started

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

6 months

@internet_geo ahahahaha fucking modern-day machiavelli

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

10 months

Have you ever done a ceremony with an ex to say goodbye to your relationship? Not the breakup itself, but a post-breakup ritual to express gratitude for what you had and grieve its passing. What did it look like?

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

10 months

This was my favourite answer! I like it because it validates and encourages the emotional thrust of your friend’s message (ie they were signalling something like playfulness plus “I’m thinking of you”) without needing to like the content. Gonna give this a whirl for a while

joriamramos

@joriamramos

10 months

@jnsyaaa Reply like this: 🫠🫠🫠🦕🦕🦕 playful and meaningless

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

5 months

I’m friends with a couple who’re gonna have a baby - he’s greek she’s italian they speak English together & live in Berlin they’re trying to triage which languages they use with the baby can you teach a child 4 languages? probably not right

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

8 months

Anyone got a term they use for their spiritual path / emotional growth journey that doesn’t sound unbearably pretentious & wanky?

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

7 months

@minobenjo ahahaha fuck man I’m terrified this is actually the correct answer

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

6 months

@___I_am_Woman__ it was unfair imho

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

10 months

Doing anything casually requires holding back, not sharing all of yourself. Sex in which you’re holding back parts of yourself is a categorically different thing. I genuinely did not know (or had forgotten) what I was missing

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

10 months

Experiencing sex where the rich tapestry of your emotions can be folded in, everything included and allowed, is so so good. Sex where your sadness and anger and fear and joy melds together with theirs and becomes inseparable from each other in some way

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

6 months

@QueenRowdy4 No!

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

1 year

At a party I was chatting to a cute french girl when she paused and said "you remind me of someone" "Who? Maybe Matt Smith? Louis Theroux?" (ppl I've been compared to before) She thought for a long time, looking at me in the eyes, then said, in a sensual French accent, "Waldo"

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

10 months

@StoopMensch europe is poorer but in this case you're encountering german cultural stingy-ness, not a genuine economic need to save money

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

4 months

what mainsplaining discourse misses out on is that explaining something that excites you to a beautiful woman who's expressing genuine interest & asking followup questions is a top 5 all-time feeling

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

5 months

if we’re friends, and your hand accidentally brushes my leg or your foot touches mine, and you immediately apologise and draw back that’s like a dagger through my heart. a razor blade to the artery of our friendship

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

5 months

@simon_ohler hot couple too the kid’s gonna be unstoppable

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

4 months

india has significant social problems due a 52:48 m:f ratio jesscamp had a 9:1 m:f ratio lots sensitive & single men there, & I imagine many hoping to meet a likeminded girl it’s important to be real: if yr a straight guy yr v unlikely to find the love of your life thru tpot

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

7 months

I see lots of these tendencies in myself and friends

Alaric The Barbarian

@0xAlaric

7 months

Today, men are socially not allowed to exist as sexual beings. The bizarre result is this form of Reddit sexuality, in which guys try to make themselves as non-threatening as possible in order to express “permitted” sexual energy This falls into a few main pathologies:

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

5 months

over time the system develops trust and you need to use much less effort and learn to enjoy both the tension and the relaxation - like they’re both pleasurable parts of the same flowing process this allows less reactivity

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

5 months

hanging out with the sales guys in the office and their job is literally just being an anxious girl who's dating an avoidant guy long discussion about exact wording of an email to a contact who hasn't replied to the last 3 calls being left on read frustration but perseverance

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

6 months

was talking w a friend about whether there’s a romantic spark bw us I said I’m skeptical of starting sth where there’s not v clear romantic attraction from the outset she feels the opposite - she doesn’t trust strong early attraction bcz it’s often built on trauma & projection

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

8 months

Circling’s had a strange effect of cheapening moments of intimacy It used to be that if I held eye contact with someone (esp a cute girl) for a few moments, or shared a vulnerable moment, that would reverberate in my memory fr months Now I have moments like that quite regularly

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

10 months

eg I’d developed this very dominant kink while dating casually, which had become quite monotonous It’s obvious to me now, in retrospect, that this was bcz I wasn’t fucking people I trusted to hold my vulnerability. I think this was v bad for me!

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

10 months

@joriamramos ahaha nice answer! i'm actually quite into this. like how official international diplomatic announcements at the UN contain lots of pro-forma gobbledegook that means nothing to avoid offense

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

4 months

not a big sharia guy but I will say that when a hot girl wearing hot sportswear is near me in the gym then she consumes roughly 50% of my awareness for the duration (often the awareness is mostly the effort of not looking at her)

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

6 months

@adancerdances oh yeah i know this game what makes you want to do it do you think?

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

7 months

Q for lifters who are into meditation / nervous system stuff: For hours after this lift earlier my mind felt extremely scattered & my body somewhat generalised uncomfortable. My story is it’s big stress on nervous system -> dysregulation. Do you exp this too and wdyd?

Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

7 months

115kg deadlift for 5x3 mastodon on the headphones I am ready to launch a war on god

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

7 months

cc @bryan_johnson

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

10 months

You can’t get that from a girl/guy you met on hinge last week

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

4 months

what's a good habit to replace checking my phone? doom scrolling is my stickiest addiction. when i've tried giving up cold turkey for a while i end up relapsing and bingeing distracting myself is quite load-bearing. but what else can i do when i feel slightly overwhelmed?

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

5 months

@visualbasic97 v normal!! also it gave me joy to read this little vignette about your shadow thoughts - ty 🙏

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

10 months

@RichDecibels alpha power play

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

5 months

going to a dinner party where my ex will be tonight so my gym session rn is hitting every vanity muscle known to god

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

6 months

when I was ~8 I unscrewed a lamp’s lightbulb, stuck my finger down & got a shock it was v painful & scary - I cried & felt ashamed of doing sth I shouldn’t have to make myself feel better I grabbed my younger brother & told him to do the same, which he did bcz he trusted me

eatnik

@eatnik

6 months

Sometimes when I am full of blackness, I want nothing more than to induce that blackness in others, to drag them down so they are filled with the same blackness.

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

5 months

@confusionm8trix newark/new york too

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

9 months

the tragedy of casual sex is that condoms make the raw sensations 4x less pleasurable which naturally pushes you away from enjoying-the-moment type sensuality and towards more craving-y show-y type fucking that tends to create distance

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

10 months

@sympatheticopp oh shit new sympathetic opposition lore just dropped

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

7 months

Say racism. NO to respect

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

6 months

feels like the universe is repeatedly ramming my head into the lesson “if there is something off in your relationship with someone, the longer you ignore that dynamic the more painful it will be” with escalatingly severe emotional consequences

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

1 year

Circling last night in a small group of 3 and the guy admitted that he felt deeply competitive with me because we were 2 guys and a girl. There's something insanely brave about admitting that - my body recoils from being honest about something like that

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

7 months

Things I like about hippie spaces: - openness to weird - kind + friendly - community - focus on touch + nonverbal connection Dislike: - linguistic vagueness - aesthetics - no irony - rejection of conflict (ie, no embrace of shadow stuff can make hippie spaces quite saccharine)

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

2 years

“Internal Family Systems” is an impressively bad name. Every time I explain it to someone they get think it’s about something it’s not. Plus the name has “technical and systems-y” connotations, when the therapy itself is supremely intuitive and vibes-y

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

7 months

@dissproportion I’m googling and educating myself rn It seems to be an acne cream? Does it have effects beyond that?

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

11 months

Did you know that Germans will throw the English phrase “no risk no fun” into a German sentence, believing it to be a well-known English expression?

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

10 months

@ladyofcode I like the side eye! but when I receive a 🙃 in any context it’s like a punch to the gut. The go-to passive aggressive emoji. it pains me

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

1 year

One problem with “you should be in therapy” culture is it focuses on emotional intimacy as a service to be received, rather than a reciprocal skill that empowers people to support each other as both receiver and giver (often in the same conversation!)

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

8 months

@annafordable working on my shit is extremely promising phrasing ty

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

3 months

epistemic status: I’m pretending I believe this because it makes you angry

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

11 months

All the early 00s text speak is still with us - lol, fyi, imo, asap - except g2g, which died because there’s now no going anywhere. Always online, nowhere to go.

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

4 months

chats about flirting etc on here make me sad bcz obv flirting (online or irl) in an 80-90% male environment is *completely* different (& worse) I’m worried there are guys for whom this scene is a lifeline & naturally expect to find ❤️, but the demographics make that v unlikely!!

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

10 months

@mippl3 lol race to the bottom

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

7 months

@nosilverv wtf I had no idea

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

11 months

@twinfleeks1 @ihvaloadedgun Gonna be a classic guy and jump to advice: is there any interest or hobby you have (or could have) that would involve you going to the same place once a week (or more often)? Find one and do that! For me going to a climbing meet up unlocked a whole new friendship circle

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

10 months

@bashu_thanks *relieved* dudes rock

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

6 months

insane authentic charisma on this guy fucking HELL

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

10 months

Feeling extremely anxious because I’m flying to spend a week with my parents on my own and a) I’ve got two flights today in possibly-bad weather which scares me and b) planning to have Serious Talks with them to improve Our Relationship which really scares me

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

7 months

why the FUCK did the Twitter algo show this tweet (w four likes) to the person in question (despite us not following each other or interacting on here)???

Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

7 months

One Friday I had an awful date w a Russian. The next day I had a hinge date planned w an Asian girl, and I messaged a friend like “friendship ended w Russian girls” The Asian girl turned out to have been born and grew up in Moscow (Vietnamese parents) and we went out for a year

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

2 years

IFS can feel like a process of gradually removing mask after mask, until you reach masks that you’ve worn for so long that you assumed they were your actual face. and then getting shocked when its just as removable as all the previous masks

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

5 months

I know it seems like there’s a bottomless hole inside you, but who’s to say it’s endless? what if u just haven’t crammed enough numbness & porn & booze & phone time & shitty sex w people you don’t like & bad parties to fill it up yet? there’s light at the end of the tunnel ❤️

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

5 months

that he rarely felt appreciation for anyone. when I dug more he said he never felt appreciated by others either he said this quite casually - no emotion - but that insight into his psychology dissolved the whole conflict for me I recognised that all his ego that pissed me off…

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

7 months

115kg deadlift for 5x3 mastodon on the headphones I am ready to launch a war on god

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

6 months

today I brought up the off-ness in a new friendship and it felt SO GOOD I pointed to a constriction in my throat when we’re together - a felt sense that our connection is s/times deep but flighty, not grounded for both of us this acknowledgment exploded into energetic pleasure

Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

6 months

feels like the universe is repeatedly ramming my head into the lesson “if there is something off in your relationship with someone, the longer you ignore that dynamic the more painful it will be” with escalatingly severe emotional consequences

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

5 months

in him was trying to fill this lack of feeling genuinely appreciated and seen. it’s funny how strong a perspective shift can be: I just have so much more compassion for those things that drove me crazy about him before

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

9 months

Berliners! this year I’m co-curating the Being Lab (part of the Church of Interbeing), where we explore connection thru circling, meditation & other fun stuff. Tuesday evenings @ 7 in Neukölln. It’s a cool group of people and would love to see you there - msg me for details 1/

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

7 months

Is it the relative balance of hormones in your system that makes you more masc/fem, or their absolute levels? What I’m asking is: what happens if I take insane amounts of testosterone, oestrogen and progesterone? Do I become the kwisatz haderach?

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

6 months

tpot is the theory quitting your job is the practice

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

5 months

while ago I had a biiiiig conflict w a co-organiser. I felt v angry & hurt, and he shut me out & refused to talk abt it for weeks in a mediation session I admitted that the root of my anger was an unmet need to feel appreciated by him (felt v vulnerable to say that) he said…

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

4 months

doing a land acknowledgement before a work meetkng but I live in Berlin so it’s to the prussian von Winterfeld family, the last of whom was fragged by his own men in a trench in the dying days of 1918

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

5 months

@himbodhisattva was genuinely shocked when I saw the timestamp. it feels so fresh

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

4 months

@bashu_thanks yes! also confusingly git stash triggers the same felt sense, so I’ll have some unnecessary uneasiness in my body when I’ve git stashed something

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

8 months

court jester physiognomy fat guys who can move like this are so rare and precious they can say what they want to the king

basil

@youngfishgod

8 months

Clear the fucking way it's Fat Boy Friday ‼️

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

9 months

I love milk. I drink just under a litre (2 pints) of full-fat milk a day and never get bored of it. The hedonic treadmill saps the pleasure out of almost everything in life - chocolate, orgasms, drugs - but so far it hasn’t made a dent in my milk addiction

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

6 months

not interested in your score on the “recognise emotions from the facial expression” test impress me with your score on the “where is this Asian person from?” test

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

5 months

dating bi women is so demeaning bcz you’ve got to learn how to be jealous about women if I’m jealous about some guy I imagine bashing in his face with my bare fists. simple, straightforward. jealous of a woman?? I have no idea what to do… call her an ugly bitch?? just be sad??

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

10 months

I find people who naturally ground themselves like this incredibly relaxing to be around. eg a friend who will easily answer "that doesn't feel alive for me right now" if you ask them sth they don't wanna talk about, rather than push themselves and become stressed or anxious

Tyler Alterman

@TylerAlterman

10 months

The metaphor of "boundaries" confuses me. When ppl say this word, they often pantomime the drawing of a wall. But I find it more effective to just "ground in myself" – bc my deep self already knows what I'm not cool with...without needing to create an artificial wall

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

7 months

@weRthelvrgrls oooh interesting Yeah i can see dancing having a positive effect, tho I’d have thought the drugs, fatigue and sleep disruption would cancel it out

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

11 months

You're reading Non Violent Communication to be a better person. I'm reading it to be cruel and manipulative in language that appeals to the HR class. We are not the same.

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

11 months

@Random832 @GoodReddit “one of the phrases of all time” is one of the phrases of all time

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

4 months

problematic of course is that chasing this genuine high can have you trying to explain sth quite boring that you half-understand to a woman who's feigning interest out of politeness

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

9 months

@ElodesNL similarly in the gym I should be able to fully scream at the top of my lungs after a deadlift

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

4 months

there are v weird dynamics here: men being unusually vulnerable abt looking for love… but everyone’s a dude this is unhealthy & self-reinforcing it’s natural to expect tht if yr being more yrself that that will naturally lead to romance - but not if ~everyone’s a straight guy!

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

5 months

debate about whether "just checking in" is too passive-aggressive as an opener, back-and-forth about whether the contact in question is the right fit breaks my heart for the sales guys 💔 i hope they find the one

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

5 months

I think ability to fully enjoy your own pleasure is the single most important trait in a lover

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

6 months

he cried and ran to mum and I got a v stern + disappointed talking to even today I feel ashamed of this (also it’s funny lol) but there’s something so pure & innocent in young me’s reaction: the desire for a companion in suffering, to ease the loneliness of suffering alone

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

6 months

@RichDecibels sometimes it takes a wise friend to point out what I knew in my heart I should do 🙏

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

6 months

I’ve gone from cringing at the sound of my recorded voice to getting a thrilling narcissistic pleasure from re-listening to my voice notes after I send them

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

10 months

This is why all career/skill progression ladders are fake imo The only way I’ve ever learned anything worthwhile is: - find someone who exhibits some skill - my psyche puts them on a pedestal - I crave the approval of this projection of them - I change to seek their validation

sanje horah

@sanjehorah

10 months

i think for effective learning to take place you are supposed to want to fuck your teachers. it's like therapy

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

10 months

@Coscorrodrift I like to save bruh for the true wtf bruh moments. Don’t want to devalue the bruh currency The random emoji feels like the way to go here 👌👌

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

5 months

getting laid through the tried-and-tested method of sending her a precisely tailored @artofaccomp podcast ep

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

10 months

Been working on a new spiritual practice recently - I call it aaaaaaaaaaaaing. I put on music so neighbours can’t hear then I go aaaaaaaa really loud. Sometimes I throw in some ooooooooooos and eeeeeeeeees too. Sometimes I get really aggressive & sometimes I whimper like a baby

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

5 months

@trollie_problem ahaha great minds 🤝 the original thing that helped me see this was reading the subreddit for the aneros prostate massager toy like it takes most guys consistent effort over weeks to feel any consistent pleasure. There’s a technique literally called the “do nothing” method

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

9 months

in circling you're encouraged to own yr language, like saying "I'm curious abt why you said that" rather than "why did you say that?" the idea is to focus on your own experience - be less knee-jerk & acknowledge yr emotion stimes tho i find this longwinded explicitness limiting

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Jonathan

@jnsyaaa

5 months

@RichDecibels politeness dictates that you moan lightly, lean in and whisper “you don’t know how long I’ve waited for this”

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