Noah 🇺🇦 @NoahMF Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

@greenapple_smsa

@jandakembangstw

@Shika_25_

@paoloquimbo

@pengen_stw

@yoanbly

@ZIFL_P

@DAVIDRMERA1

@Y7Yex

@Guststs127607

@IvcFan

@GsE9EVb5JcNusqF

@nariyoshik18213

@vookm0

@littleabjr

@HHoopsgiving

@lauamoree

@bethanymrd

@asrar_baroom

@ZandileHugo

@DopamineFueled

@BinorRaja

@prageru

@roywoodjr

@MojcaKustra

@realdavidmazouz

@Arsenal_Ultras

@Ohiohshoops

@veganjaya

@Seanofthesouth

@selinveyamerve

@vanromank499541

@qporno_xxx

@jandakembangstw

@swierkolfemboy

@MerabiMamalashv

Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

2 months

Rip Justice Department

The Associated Press

@AP

2 months

BREAKING: The Justice Department says Boeing has violated an agreement that shielded it from prosecution after the 737 Max crashes.

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

2 months

Woman gives birth. Tells doctor, tie my tubes. Doctor doesn’t. Woman gets pregnant, has another kid. Woman sues doctor for medical malpractice. Texas Supreme Court dismisses case, because life is a gift from God. 9-0. There is an election in November.

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

1 month

Totally surreal. This looks like circa 2017 Resistlib Porn.

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

11 days

Taps sign

Heidi Hatch KUTV

@tvheidihatch

12 days

BREAKING: Joel Searby, Chief Strategist for Evan McMullin 2016 Presidential campaign, arrested in Florida for allegedly soliciting sex with a teen boy. Searby is managing director of the @Fwd_Party and often speaks on faith based initiatives in politics here in Utah. #utpol

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

4 months

Houston first got rich in the era where rich people did actually major philanthropy and built things of major public value. Investing back into the towns that make them. By the time Austin got rich, rich people had just become pure parasites.

Cutter W. González

@CutterWGonzalez

4 months

I miss the amenities of Houston BAD — the zoo, museums, galleries. Stuff we just don’t have at any comparable scale in Austin. (Yet?)

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

15 days

Yeah. Houston has produced Beyoncé and entire subgenres of country and rap. It has nasa and a food scene that is the envy of the nation. Dallas is most famous for murdering a president and a tv show mostly filmed at a California studio.

Plant Parenthood 🏳️‍🌈🇺🇦

@19eightytwomatt

16 days

DFW is by far the largest US metro area with virtually zero cultural relevance or attractiveness to tourists.

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

4 months

“The Aggies ruined jalapeños” is an incredible 10/10 line that also has the effect of being true.

chekov

@notbigracks

4 months

some asshole texas a&m students made a more profitable but less hot jalapeño pepper and that’s why they suck now. unbelievable

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@NoahMF

4 months

(trying something) houston

chicago enjoyer

@capittalism

4 months

chicago is the greatest city in the world cause you can just tweet the word “chicago” and get 50 likes

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

8 months

@lefttwick Yeah but that’s precisely what tracks with Littlefinger

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

1 month

A week without power because of a thunderstorm is absolutely absurd. People should get fired.

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

6 months

Unfortunately for Greg Abbott, we don’t live in the Monsters Inc. cinematic universe, so electricity is generated not by the screams of vulnerable children but by power plants and windmills.

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

4 months

There isn’t a Hermann Park or a Jones Hall or a Hobby Center in Austin because there wasn’t ever a Hermann, a Jones or a Hobby. There are just Tech Bros who cosplay their anarcho-capitalism shit politics and do drugs.

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

2 months

“These protesters belong in jail.” Fuck, man.

Greg Abbott

@GregAbbott_TX

2 months

Arrests being made right now & will continue until the crowd disperses. These protesters belong in jail. Antisemitism will not be tolerated in Texas. Period. Students joining in hate-filled, antisemitic protests at any public college or university in Texas should be expelled.

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

14 days

Word on the street is that Carnival and Royal Caribbean are investing money and lobbying for grants to turn Scholes Airport into a real commercial airport and both American and Southwest are amenable to flying to Galveston.

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

2 months

@McKay4Senate Mussolini is a cop at a big city pd up east

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

6 months

@torriangray King Leopold, notable liberal democrat

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

1 month

That was such an ugly comment by Whitmire about Gulfton.

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

2 months

You know, for all the discourse about how America is so much more obsessed with dogs now, I think this would have been a career-ender even in the 50s.

ettingermentum🥥🌴

@ettingermentum

2 months

Just published the upper half of the Trump VP tier list, compete with an analysis of Kristi Noem just admitting to have killed a 14-month-old puppy.

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

5 months

“Your problem with young Jews isn’t that they know too little about Israel. It’s that they know it all too well.” God I feel that in my bones.

ettingermentum🥥🌴

@ettingermentum

5 months

People told me this constantly when I was younger and when I finally went it confirmed literally everything I thought and then some. Your problem with young Jews isn’t that they know too little about Israel. It’s that they know it all too well.

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

2 months

Update: We bought a house.

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

1 month

POV: you’re in a downtown skyscraper rn

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

3 months

George Costanza trying to return to the office Monday after quitting on Friday energy

Barak Ravid

@BarakRavid

3 months

In reversal, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu is planning to send two top Israeli officials to Washington as early as next week for talks about a possible military operation in Rafah, four U.S. and Israeli officials told me. My story on @axios

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

2 months

John, Lina, will yall please put together your stupid, fucking, petty differences and work together. People are dead.

City of Houston

@HoustonTX

2 months

🚨 ‼️ @houmayor John Whitmire, @houstonpolice , @HoustonFire @HoustonOEM will hold a 9:30 p.m. media briefing to update the public on this evening’s severe weather. 📍 5320 N. Shepherd Drive Houston Emergency Center “

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

2 months

Molly Cook is going to be a superstar. The type of Democrat in Texas that goes on CNN and gets $300 checks every day from little old ladies in cape cod and California.

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

2 months

@alisoncook Looking forward to the editorial board endorsing the three Republicans up for election by just writing “BUTLER BARKER !! ❤️🥹” over and over again in magic marker on a Big Chief tablet.

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

4 months

Michael Dell does a lot, but he basically stands alone. He was also basically the only “super mega rich person in Austin” for like decades.

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

1 month

You can basically draw a straight line from Fox News being on in the locker room at the River Oaks Country Club to here. Rich, powerful men basically have mush for brains and have the politics of Clevon from Mobile.

The Spectator Index

@spectatorindex

1 month

UNITED STATES: Bloomberg reports that a 'growing number of financial elites are throwing their weight behind Trump'

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

4 months

Calling Beaumont “outside Houston” is a choice

Rohin Dhar

@rohindhar

4 months

Stunning French country estate for sale in Beaumont, Texas outside Houston Swimming pool, guest house, and a well-manicured 1.88 acres On the market 18 days Absolute bargain for what is essentially a palace Listed at $800k

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

14 days

In a coat and tie, tonight I took a metro bus from my office downtown to a work dinner in River Oaks. With the keys to a car in a driveway in my pocket. I vote in municipal elections. Every one. And max out too. I will remember.

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

3 months

As a DINK, I don’t even agree with “no kids at bars” but it’s at least a cogent viewpoint. “No kids at supermarkets” is fucking bananas.

CAMILLE PAGLIA STAN ✨ FAN ACCOUNT

@Provokatov

3 months

Parents. Stop bringing your annoying shithead kids to the supermarket.

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@NoahMF

2 months

@souljagoytellem Also like, “that makes it worse. You see how that makes it worse, right?”

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

17 days

@nikicaga Yes there are giant cruise ships that leave out of Galveston and Houston has the largest port in America

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

4 months

@lyndonbajohnson “Do basic constituent services” is why someone as good at amassing power as Crowley went down and why someone as bad at it as SJL keeps going back.

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

4 months

Waking up still laughing about the DA’s race and then remembering all the other shit

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

3 months

Really feels like the bad guys are winning in Houston lately

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

11 months

Liam Bright

@lastpositivist

11 months

Business school professor

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

2 months

@lyndonbajohnson How will the Nissan and Subaru dealership in Hattiesburg survive

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

11 months

@cd_hooks My man never takes a day off from Crimes. Even on Festivus.

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

6 months

@ElonMusgraves Look I know it’s fun and morally correct to hate on Texas but this is just wrong

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

2 months

At this rate, Whitmire is going to get scalped Kim Ogg style in the next election.

akhil

@akhildoesthings

2 months

Received the following statement from @METROHouston interim president and CEO Tom Jasien: “Since most of the new board members haven’t had a chance to review the proposed projects, we wanted to pause items that appear to be advocacy.” I’m inquiring further into that pause.

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

9 months

Journalism in Texas is like Chron: A new 10,000 word feature on the exact ways the Department of Family Services is violating a federal judge’s consent order TX Monthly: Chris Hooks spent two years chasing the story of Azerbaijani bribes in Austin KHOU: Crime leads to Bussing!!

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

9 months

@nikicaga Albania, Bosnia, Kosovo and Azerbaijan aping the U.S. position is to be somewhat expectant. UAE and KSA ambivalence a bit too. IMO, the biggest surprise is Modi’s India and Lula’s Brazil taking the U.S. position. Cf Ukraine.

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

4 months

When the Abu Ghraib pictures came out, there was such intense blowback **in America** that Bush went — using a Republican phrase — on a world apology tour. The lack of any comparable Israeli outrage is indicative of some pretty serious moral rot.

Matt

@worsematt

4 months

i still can’t get over the fact that israel can’t maintain enough military discipline to prevent their soldiers from posting tiktok’s of them doing war crimes or looting civilian homes like some kind of medieval army

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

6 months

Wesley you live in Houston. CenterPoint Energy is not getting power from coal.

Wesley Hunt

@WesleyHuntTX

6 months

Friendly reminder. Fossil fuels work.

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

4 months

That speech was for the press that spend 16 hours a day on Twitter. No actual undecided voters watch the SOTU

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

1 month

Lmao it doesn’t even describe the nature of the crimes in the headline. T man is so cooked.

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

5 months

@souljagoytellem Carlin had an entire bit in a routine that went “Israeli murderers are called commandos but Palestinian commandos are called terrorists,”

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

2 months

Sue Lovell isn’t my council member. @AbbieKamin is. Mayor @whitmire_john , please call her.

urbanist

@JRDNLTHMS

2 months

Now that I know Sue Lovell represents me, can the Mayor please make her contact information public?

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

1 month

It’s absolutely incredible that the seal of Houston is a giant fucking train given our politics the past 35 years. It’s like if a middle eastern country had bacon on a flag.

kirbcide

@HOUrbanist

1 month

If there’s one thing we can all agree about Houston, it’s that our city flag sucks

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

6 months

Trains work so much better within 500 miles or so for three main reasons: 1. Time. Airports are hour out of town; get there hour early; baggage claim. 2. It sucks. Security lines; small seats; no meals. 3. The WiFi **fucking works** on a train and you have cell service.

Nikolaj🍦🇺🇦

@nikicaga

6 months

One of the dumbest people on here

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

13 days

My mom and her friends have soured on Whitmire. I cannot emphasize enough how much 68 year old college-educated white women who have voted Democratic for president since the 80s but still identify as “ticket splitters” hold the Mandate of Heaven in municipal elections.

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

10 months

HIGHLIGHTS: Can you spot the differences between these photos?

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

9 months

A&M becoming like Vermont level blue is one of those things that makes me a Blexas believer.

James🗳

@_fat_ugly_rat_

10 months

Texas A&M on campus and surrounding student housing precincts: 2000: R+57 2004: R+44.4 2008: R+19.1 2012: R+26.2 2016: D+3.1 2020: D+22.9 2022 Gov: D+36.5 (!!!)

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

7 months

@souljagoytellem @WealthyAutocrat In 2014, carpetbagging lizard Ken Paxton beat a man whose name was literally Sam Houston and actually sounded like a real Texan by like 20 points.

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

4 months

Houston should annex basically every unincorporated part of Harris County that voted for Biden and then figure out how to conquer Bellaire, West U, Southside, Missouri City, Stafford, Pasadena and …. THE WOODLANDS.

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

3 months

@souljagoytellem The finale is going to be him going to jail just like in Seinfeld as another middle finger to everyone

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

2 months

I look forward to flying one day out of Lyndon Baines Johnson Intercontinental Airport.

jen rice

@jen_rice_

2 months

what are some things in texas that should be renamed

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

2 months

My most normie lib partisan opinion is that, if someone like Sotomayor were the median vote on the Supreme Court, America would be so much better it would be near unrecognizable.

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

7 months

@souljagoytellem I feel like there are better examples of gotcha California racism than “a bunch of people who are very much dead now made Reagan the governor 60 years ago”

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

1 month

Dear Lord

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

3 months

@IRHotTakes Oh my god a biopic "Showa” would be incredible but I’m pretty sure the cia would intervene to stop an American studio from making it for the geopolitical and diplomatic consequences

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

30 days

@kissphoria It’s not a Texas Miami it’s a Texas New Orleans.

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@NoahMF

1 month

Seven men and five women in Manhattan were braver than all the politicians in Congress and all the judges in the federal benches.

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

14 days

@kissphoria

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

2 months

A dozen years ago I graduated high school at the helm of the Houston Mayor’s Youth Council. Today basically the entire group has brain drained out of Houston. Certainly all the ones who stayed politically active. Except me. There is a lesson here.

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

1 month

Educational polarization means my new precinct — which went for Bush 75-20 — just sent Molly Cook to the state senate. Upper middle income is much more liberal than it was when I was a kid. But the truly rich? They are racist, incestuous and dim. Same as it ever was.

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

5 months

Attended fundraisers for Judge Mike Engelhart and Judge Kyle Carter this week. Two excellent, excellent judges that the Democrats of Harris County need to keep on the bench. It’s so important.

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

4 months

@AnonymousLeftie Burning books and murdering academics seems to have negative consequences for a country’s status as an intellectual powerhouse

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

10 months

Italy is Florida but France is Texas. A relatively rich and urban and multiethnic place that cosplays as pastoral and rustic and gets really into racism because of said multiethnic. Incredible food. And obnoxiously proud people everyone else hates.

YIMBYLAND

@YIMBYLAND

10 months

Which country is the Texas of Europe?

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

3 months

Undocumented immigrants who came here yesterday are more American than you because they understand this country and what it means far more than you and your Nazi blood and soil shit ever will.

Felix Rex ⳩

@navyhato

3 months

How American are you? Grade B here (paternally).

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

17 days

Whitmire’s problem — much like Donald Trump’s was — is that he blames everything on his predecessor but his predecessor is considerably more popular.

Sylvester Turner

@SylvesterTurner

17 days

For the past several years through the end of 2023, who has been the lobbyist for the firefighter’s union and where does he work today? Crickets…st

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

4 months

Dallas might not even be No. 3 culturally relevant city IN TEXAS

Cadence

@Lemommeringue

4 months

Nobody outside of California thinks SF is #3

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

1 month

@alisoncook I ran outside very early to save it from the rain

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

1 month

I can’t believe you were a judge you unctuous cockroach

Greg Abbott

@GregAbbott_TX

1 month

This was a sham show trial. The Kangaroo Court will never stand on appeal. Americans deserve better than a sitting U.S. President weaponizing our justice system against a political opponent— all to win an election. We must FIRE Joe Biden in November.

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

18 days

@lefttwick This is the thing that makes my blood boil about people trying to convince American Jews “it could happen here, like in Germany.” It can’t. Not without a civil war. France almost had a civil war in 1900 because of it. There’d be a shooting war here before there’d be pogroms.

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

3 months

@opinonhaver Wisconsin is definitely a hybrid regime

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

5 months

“He is heavyset and tall, and uses his physicality to project strength in front of crowds.”

Stephen Robinson

@SER1897

5 months

This paragraph would shame North Korean state media

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

3 months

Sinatra is Ronan Farrow’s dad.

seanfucious

@Seanfucious

3 months

What’s a conspiracy theory you seriously think might be true? It doesn’t have to be consequential.

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

7 months

The Wine Moms hold the Mandate of History come on let’s not lose the plot

Will Stancil

@whstancil

7 months

One thing that’s important to remember is that while stupid lefties think the economy is terrible, most smart lefties know the economy is good but also believe the stupid lefties hold the mandate of history and shouldn’t be disagreed with too much

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

23 days

This is a bad idea under the maxim of “if you come for the king, you don’t miss.” A successful recall would be followed by a special election 30 days thereafter. Until you have a prominent person preemptively campaigning, you can’t wet your gunpowder.

Recall Houston

@RecallHouston

25 days

Hello everyone! A short thread:

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

17 days

Dead people can’t threaten you with bullshit libel cases: PAUL PRESSLER WAS A CHILD MOLESTER

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

10 months

There’s books in libraries of every county in America that would get you tossed in a gulag in China.

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

4 months

Shit man the first three words got me SO excited.

The Associated Press

@AP

4 months

Rupert Murdoch, 92, plans to marry for 5th time

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

3 months

What the hell?

Tom Ramsey

@TomSRamsey2

3 months

I’d like to offer my congratulations to Alexandra del Moral Mealer @AlexMealerTX on her overwhelming victory as the newest METRO Board member. Out of the nine METRO board positions, two positions represent the 14 “Multi-cities” who participate in METRO (two positions are

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

1 month

Hidalgo is going to beat Parker 2-to-1. It will be like when Fred Hofheinz tried to run against Kathy Whitmire in 1989. Just total career and reputation demise.

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

1 month

Holy fuck

jen rice

@jen_rice_

1 month

molly cook leads jarvis johnson by 73 votes in the TX state senate district 15 race with all 313 voting centers reporting

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

1 month

Houston has always had great food but it has gotten much, much better just in my lifetime.

JD Ross

@justindross

1 month

Olive Garden serves as a living reminder of how bad all American food was in the 90s until millennial hipsters upgraded everything to above European standards

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

12 days

Yes! YES

Houstorian

@Houstorian

12 days

Today in 1865, Confederate Houston is occupied by Union forces.

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

29 days

If Whitmire keeps this shit up, we’re gonna be voting on a charter amendment for a city manager soon.

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

3 months

Who is buying $3M houses in West U? Like doctors don’t even make that type of money. There’s only so many Butler Barker partners they can’t be singlehandedly driving the real estate market.

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

2 months

Dallas is never escaping the South Oklahoma allegations

Dallas Texas TV

@DallasTexasTV

2 months

The latest viral trend amongst Texans is ordering a Dr Pepper from Sonic and adding pickles to it

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

7 months

@souljagoytellem My conspiracy theory is that Bibi blackmailed him with the Epstein stuff circa like 2006 and that’s why he seems to have had an ice cream scooper taken to his brain since relative to statements like this.

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

5 months

Honestly this feels a bit like when Reagan tore down the solar panels from the White House.

Chron

@chron

5 months

Alert: Houston Avenue pedestrian safety medians will be removed next week amid controversy

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

2 months

It — and I cannot stress this enough — does not work.

CenterPoint Energy

@CenterPoint

2 months

Houston-area electric customers: As we work to resolve technical issues with our Outage Tracker, visit to see the most up-to-date outage count.

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

7 months

@ElonMusgraves @PlayfulPianoVGM Private equity owned nursing homes go gobble gobble

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

5 months

Norman Rockwell freedom of speech dot meme: America does, in fact, have magic soil that assimilates us and puts us all into the melting pot that turns us into gumbo that is greater than the sum of the parts.

Dr. Samantha Hancox-Li

@perdricof

5 months

conservatives do not believe in america, example ten thousand

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

2 months

Omg more people live in the Houston metro than in all of Scotland??? Dude why do I hear about them so much they must have the population density of like Iowa.

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

1 month

This has happened enough time that the City and CenterPoint are on notice that what they do is not working and repeatedly leads to calamities. We just had an election where it was just all bullshit. It’s just so bleak. I can understand why some are giving up on this town.

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

29 days

She was part of a group of conspirators who illegally blockaded a clinic and injured a nurse. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

Joel Berry

@JoelWBerry

29 days

A DC judge just sentenced 75-year-old Paulette Harlow, who is in poor health, to 2 years in prison for praying outside an abortion clinic. Her husband fears she might die there.

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Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

2 months

We walked home from our favorite bar last night. Walked!

Noah 🇺🇦

@NoahMF

2 months

They’re back!!

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