I once worked on the design of a bear sanctuary. We were going to build two houses, one for each of the two bears. The first house was easy but the only place for the second was where two fences met.
I turned it down, βNobody puts Bear B in the corner!β
#KeatsChapman
Here's a sight I thought I'd never see - a swimming fox!? It swam over to a small island and returned with (what I think is) a swans egg. Would be interested to hear if anyone else has witnessed this behaviour before!
I donβt normally swear on Twitter but this requires it.
As a βlesser mortalβ currently in chemotherapy I would just like to say fuck the Telegraph and most of all fuck Allison Pearson!
#DontBuyTheTelegraph
βοΈ 'When lesser mortals would have stayed at home, Catherine proved that the show goes on' | Writes
@AllisonPearson
Read the comment in full here β¬οΈ
A reminder that international students contribute Β£40 billion per annum to the UK economy.
Which is over 40x the value of the UK fishing industry, nearly 3x the value of the UK car industry, and 20x that of the UK steel industry.
As a former Director in the Civil Service my view is very simple. There is no justification whatsoever for withholding the names of any officials or Ministers issued with a FPN over illegal gatherings.
The law only works when it is seen to be done.
The great lie is that βdata is the new oilβ
Data is actually more like sewage. Itβs expensive and messy to secure, it is disastrous if it leaks, and holding large amounts of it is a massive liability.
THE DEFINITIVE GUIDE TO AGILE
1. Every project is broken up into five phases: Disco, Alpaca, Beatings, Live, Regret
2. Every project has a Delivery Manager (DM) and a Product Manager (PM) who fuel the project through their mutual hatred and constant bickering
I recognise that this may be uncomfortable for some people who may have be friends or former colleagues. But we are all either equal under the law or else society frays.
I would expect Alex Chisholm and Simon Case to publish a list of names.
Blanket blocking all the middle class pundits whining that the BBCβs Olympic coverage is very limited.
Yes, because the IOC sold the TV rights to Discovery for Β£920 million which is about a third of the BBCβs total licence fee income.
@MarianKeyes
I have now hacked Google Maps and Wikipedia so Lough Corrib is indeed the largest and deepest lake in the world and also the Wikipedia entry for βHumourless Gobshites" has been updated.
@BarristerSecret
I can translate:
βI am the top lawyer in government and I think this is illegal and a breach of the Civil Service Code however the newly appointed Cabinet Secretary who has mysteriously risen without a trace and has no legal background says itβs all fine. Iβve quit, good luck.β
5. Scalable agile is achieved by buying more post-it's and a larger wall
6. Every team has a burn down rate. This is the speed at which they can dispose of the evidence.
@jeffvandermeer
"All the Devils Are Here" by David Seabrook is about Margate, on the south east English coast which has a very similar history and is one of the best books about place I have ever read. Highly recommended and a reminder that reality is always weirder.
A decade ago I sat in a pandemic planning meeting in COBRA and argued that the biggest threat to social cohesion in times of pandemic would come from the privileged, not the disadvantaged. I said that we needed to be willing to very publicly arrest these death cultists.
.
@spectator
editor
@FraserNelson
reveals the government has no plan to get out of the lockdown and wonders why weβre still under national house-arrest even though the NHS has coped with the level of cases so far
Web3: What if capitalism but stupider?
Metaverse: What if online shopping but more time consuming and tedious?
Blockchain: What if a distributed database but much slower and insecure?
NFTs: What if JPGs but for idiots?
3. Everything is driven by user needs. User needs are not what the user wants but what they need. This is why users love agile as much as school children love PE.
4. Planning agile uses sprints. Every fortnight the DM releases leopards and the slowest team are eaten
Your reminder that it has been a week since the Sue Gray report was published and so far the only person who has resigned is a woman who wasnβt even at the parties and the only people being taken to court are women from the Sarah Everard vigil
@PippaCrerar
If he were a Civil Servant with such a messy personal life and financial problems he would never be allowed access to sensitive material and would be closely monitored by the security services.
@ProfSunnySingh
Itβs truly grim. About 1 billion people are now affected by life threatening heat. Climate change is the single biggest threat we face yet no government is willing to tackle it, partly because too many voters are behaving like toddlers.
@BootstrapCook
A friend made the recipe for the first time last night and for the first time ever their family applauded their cooking :)
Cheap, healthy, delicious and makes you look good. What more could one want from a recipe?
You do invaluable work :)
The original poster can talk to me
@PennyRed
When I read Christine Delphy as a young man, when I had strong female role models in my life, when I discovered that I liked spending time with women as friends and people (that last one sounds too daft to mention but for so many men they never do it)
@MarianKeyes
@marybourkecomic
"His brother nudged Seamus's arm and proffered a battered silver flask. Seamus raised it to his mouth and took a drink of the poitΓn inside. It tasted like fire, it tasted like home, it tasted like regret. It was then his tears came, flooding, merging with the rain."
@FelicityHannah
Indeed. We donβt have a wealth tax so instead we apply tax when things change state.
The cocoa will have been taxed on import, the machines in the factory would have been taxed when bought, the workers would pay tax on pay.
That choccie bar is layers of tax.
Seriously, if you are a Civil Servant who tweeted this then 1) talk to your union immediately, 2) recognise that there is massive sympathy for you and your action, and 3) I am serious about the offer of help
In case you missed the bizarre story of the RAF firing a Β£200,000 missile from a multimillion Β£ high performance fighter to shoot down a βmysterious droneβ over Syria.
BREAKING: First photo released of drone shot down in Syria by a House Sparrow air-to-air semi-nuclear missile fired from a Eurovision Typhoon. Each House Sparrow missile costs just Β£80,081.35 and it took just 4 missiles to hit this drone!
Photographed from a Canberra
#AvGeek
Technology Terms Explained
Data: An Excel spreadsheet
Big Data: An Excel spreadsheet with links to other Excel spreadsheets
Algorithm: An Excel macro
AI: Linked Excel macros
Blockchain: An expensive and inefficient Excel spreadsheet
There are no grown ups.
I have sat in COBRA meetings.
I have briefed Prime Ministers.
I have worked with the biggest companies in the world.
They are all fallible, flawed humans.
If you are relying on the grown ups to save us, donβt.
Save yourself.
I am a π»
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha *gasps for breath* Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Have they ever met a small child?!
@PippaCrerar
@sussex_police
Hmm, Sussex Police do not make it easy to contact them.
Your friend may want to find a solicitor local to Lewes who will know how to proceed.
The Law Society have a list
GOVERNMENT TIMETABLE FOR NEXT 6 MONTHS
APRIL: Easter holidays
MAY: 2 x Bank Holidays, Half-term, barely worth coming in
JUNE: Sleeves up, down to work!
JULY: Work stops, summer recess
AUGUST: Still summer recess
SEPTEMBER: Party conferences, recess
OCTOBER: shit...
I recently had abdominal surgery to remove a tumour and am now in chemotherapy.
Itβs a very hard road to walk even if, like me, you are blessed with support and amazing care from
@royalmarsdenNHS
See the person, not the title.
@MarianKeyes
In her latest novel, Marian Keyes explores the boundaries of minimalism. Consisting of just three words, the novel harks back to both the literary experimentation of Sterne, Joyce and Flann but also forward to the occluded directness of the Ireland of Milkman and Normal People
Many of the horrors of this world come down to men who have fled from taking any personal responsibility all their lives ending up in positions of responsibility.
The resignation of Sir Philip Rutnam is not just bad news for the government, it should terrify us all.
Barely 3 months into this government it is clear that it is profoundly and dangerously incompetent.
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