Mark O'Neill @marxculture Twitter profile | Pikagi

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Mark O'Neill

@marxculture

7,183

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2,624

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Defrocked astrophysicist. Ursine Plenipotentiary. Official sponsor of the “🐻” emoji. Aire échta for hire. Join a union!

London

https://t.co/ZcHPWSKCex

Joined September 2008

Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.

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@marxculture

Mark O'Neill

5 years

I once worked on the design of a bear sanctuary. We were going to build two houses, one for each of the two bears. The first house was easy but the only place for the second was where two fences met. I turned it down, “Nobody puts Bear B in the corner!” #KeatsChapman

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@KaiserEdits

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@Jay_840903

@KIT_TIK910

@bill_scat_farts

@Hnewsq8

@joan_ru_ca

@cukienaknikmati

@biwamaroR

@sujimahoni

@masahiromgk

@iirad_9

@O_UA

@0xLuo

@HumburgM29870

@01Floid

@Papuaviral1

@itsmikedudeski

@WireBrushWizard

@TecladosTop

@cd_aktif

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@Novin_SigRj

@WfwenN

@Novin_SigRj

@0x0_mumu

@aph_karpusi

@batssum

@501_a2

@Joe_Pearlman

@bokeplokalmalam

@stw_pdg

@bokeplokalmalam

@vinegarboy_00

@Chris_tricks

@Novin_SigRj

@marxculture

Mark O'Neill

3 years

The power, the grace, the sheer raw majesty of a leaping wombat.

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Mark O'Neill

2 months

This has completely wrecked my plans for transporting this grain and these geese.

@henrykfilm

Henry Kirkwood Filmmaking

2 months

Here's a sight I thought I'd never see - a swimming fox!? It swam over to a small island and returned with (what I think is) a swans egg. Would be interested to hear if anyone else has witnessed this behaviour before!

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Mark O'Neill

4 years

How computers work

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Mark O'Neill

3 months

I don’t normally swear on Twitter but this requires it. As a “lesser mortal” currently in chemotherapy I would just like to say fuck the Telegraph and most of all fuck Allison Pearson! #DontBuyTheTelegraph

@TelegraphRoyals

Telegraph Royal Family

@TelegraphRoyals

3 months

✍️ 'When lesser mortals would have stayed at home, Catherine proved that the show goes on' | Writes @AllisonPearson Read the comment in full here ⬇️

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Mark O'Neill

5 years

Scientists discover buoyancy

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Mark O'Neill

8 months

A reminder that international students contribute £40 billion per annum to the UK economy. Which is over 40x the value of the UK fishing industry, nearly 3x the value of the UK car industry, and 20x that of the UK steel industry.

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Mark O'Neill

2 years

As a former Director in the Civil Service my view is very simple. There is no justification whatsoever for withholding the names of any officials or Ministers issued with a FPN over illegal gatherings. The law only works when it is seen to be done.

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Mark O'Neill

5 months

If anyone knows where Kate Middleton is it will be the University of St Andrews Alumni fund raising team.

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Mark O'Neill

4 months

Once again, in complete seriousness, I say that this is the best book ever written. All of life is there.

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Mark O'Neill

3 years

The great lie is that “data is the new oil” Data is actually more like sewage. It’s expensive and messy to secure, it is disastrous if it leaks, and holding large amounts of it is a massive liability.

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@marxculture

Mark O'Neill

5 years

@paul_clarke I have never drunk a cup of tea

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@marxculture

Mark O'Neill

5 years

THE DEFINITIVE GUIDE TO AGILE 1. Every project is broken up into five phases: Disco, Alpaca, Beatings, Live, Regret 2. Every project has a Delivery Manager (DM) and a Product Manager (PM) who fuel the project through their mutual hatred and constant bickering

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@marxculture

Mark O'Neill

2 years

I recognise that this may be uncomfortable for some people who may have be friends or former colleagues. But we are all either equal under the law or else society frays. I would expect Alex Chisholm and Simon Case to publish a list of names.

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@marxculture

Mark O'Neill

4 years

@brooklynmarie @da_judge You monster! Just think how terrified the staff of that visitor centre must have been! ☄

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@marxculture

Mark O'Neill

1 year

$42bn to demonstrate that you are an idiot has to be the self-own of the decade.

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Elon Musk claims Twitter login requirement just 'temporary'

Twitter is currently blocking visitors from viewing tweets and profiles unless they are logged in.

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@marxculture

Mark O'Neill

5 years

In Ireland the rain does indeed come from beneath as well as from above and from the sides

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@marxculture

Mark O'Neill

6 years

@quintabrunson Are you sure it was a cab and you didn’t just get into some random Canadian’s car?

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Mark O'Neill

2 years

In case you don’t know which Mastodon server to join, here’s a convenient list

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Mark O'Neill

1 month

Blanket blocking all the middle class pundits whining that the BBC’s Olympic coverage is very limited. Yes, because the IOC sold the TV rights to Discovery for £920 million which is about a third of the BBC’s total licence fee income.

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@marxculture

Mark O'Neill

5 years

@marilyneb @monkeyarmada @paul_clarke I became a bear :)

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Mark O'Neill

6 years

@chrissyteigen I remember the friend of mine who confused bulbs with heads of garlic and cooked chicken with 40 bulbs of garlic for a boyfriend...

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Mark O'Neill

5 years

This is good service design

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Mark O'Neill

5 years

@monkeyarmada @paul_clarke I am Irish and I have to travel in disguise when I go back home.

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Mark O'Neill

7 months

@DannyJBrennan @moorehn Did ask the priest this morning if I could have a heart shaped dab of ashes on my forehead

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@marxculture

Mark O'Neill

5 years

Larry was the first cat we ever did user testing of a Digital Service with. He was a model tester

@Number10cat

Larry the Cat

5 years

My pal @SkyNewsThompson spotted me composing tweets...

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Mark O'Neill

6 years

@blissleadtheway @chrissyteigen Ah yes, I used to be a werewolf but I’m alright noooooowwwwwwwwlllllll! ©️Dad Joke Inc, a subsidiary of Please Stop, You Are Embarrassing Us Corporation of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania

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@marxculture

Mark O'Neill

4 years

I’ve never seen one dog take the piss out of another dog before. “Look at me, I’m a corgi. Hur de dur”

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@marxculture

Mark O'Neill

5 years

Some thoughts on *that* Cummings blog post

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Mark O'Neill

4 years

@MarianKeyes I have now hacked Google Maps and Wikipedia so Lough Corrib is indeed the largest and deepest lake in the world and also the Wikipedia entry for “Humourless Gobshites" has been updated.

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@marxculture

Mark O'Neill

3 years

When you discover a) that you are out of cans and b) that the 5km limit does not apply to doggos.

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@marxculture

Mark O'Neill

3 years

@zsk I am tempted to write a book about a child who just wears their normal uniform.

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@marxculture

Mark O'Neill

4 years

@BarristerSecret I can translate: “I am the top lawyer in government and I think this is illegal and a breach of the Civil Service Code however the newly appointed Cabinet Secretary who has mysteriously risen without a trace and has no legal background says it’s all fine. I’ve quit, good luck.”

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Mark O'Neill

4 years

Where is cat?

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Mark O'Neill

1 year

Are these advanced AI bot swarms in the room with us now?

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Mark O'Neill

23 days

@zsk @katebevan Jesus. Appalling that you have to deal with this kind of crap. If it helps here are the catphews indulging in formation kipping

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@marxculture

Mark O'Neill

5 years

5. Scalable agile is achieved by buying more post-it's and a larger wall 6. Every team has a burn down rate. This is the speed at which they can dispose of the evidence.

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@marxculture

Mark O'Neill

6 years

Why is creating a website in 2019 harder than it was in 1999?

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Mark O'Neill

6 years

Where is elephant?

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@marxculture

Mark O'Neill

6 years

@blissleadtheway @chrissyteigen Always important to check. Vampires are terrible at commitment

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Mark O'Neill

2 years

@hzeffman We’re average men. Innocent men.

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@marxculture

Mark O'Neill

6 years

@chrissyteigen They will never grow up to be adultbel cheeses

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@marxculture

Mark O'Neill

3 years

@jeffvandermeer "All the Devils Are Here" by David Seabrook is about Margate, on the south east English coast which has a very similar history and is one of the best books about place I have ever read. Highly recommended and a reminder that reality is always weirder.

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@marxculture

Mark O'Neill

4 years

A decade ago I sat in a pandemic planning meeting in COBRA and argued that the biggest threat to social cohesion in times of pandemic would come from the privileged, not the disadvantaged. I said that we needed to be willing to very publicly arrest these death cultists.

@DavidScullion

David Scullion

4 years

. @spectator editor @FraserNelson reveals the government has no plan to get out of the lockdown and wonders why we’re still under national house-arrest even though the NHS has coped with the level of cases so far

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Mark O'Neill

2 months

@ivadixit @moorehn Which is why this furry imp of chaos is called O’Malley

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Mark O'Neill

2 years

Web3: What if capitalism but stupider? Metaverse: What if online shopping but more time consuming and tedious? Blockchain: What if a distributed database but much slower and insecure? NFTs: What if JPGs but for idiots?

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Mark O'Neill

5 years

1st January 2020 means that one of the many NDAs I have signed has expired and I can tell you the story of Crumble and the US Army project…

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January 1st, 2020 and one of the many NDAs I have been bound by has now expired. So I can tell you about one of the odder projects I have been involved in. As I have said many times, above a certai…

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Mark O'Neill

3 years

Night all, pleasant dreams

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Mark O'Neill

6 years

Kanban Ideal: To do, Doing, Done Kanban Real: Ideas, Proposals, Backlog, Planning, Reviewing, Priorities, Rereviewing, Alpha, Rerereviewing, Beta, Weeping, Awaiting Sign Off, Cleared, Live Beta, Good Enough, Pub

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Mark O'Neill

5 years

3. Everything is driven by user needs. User needs are not what the user wants but what they need. This is why users love agile as much as school children love PE. 4. Planning agile uses sprints. Every fortnight the DM releases leopards and the slowest team are eaten

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Mark O'Neill

4 years

Not knowing how many children you have

@AnaSamways

Ana Samways

8 years

What’s considered trashy if you're poor, but classy if you're rich?

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Mark O'Neill

2 years

Your reminder that it has been a week since the Sue Gray report was published and so far the only person who has resigned is a woman who wasn’t even at the parties and the only people being taken to court are women from the Sarah Everard vigil

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Mark O'Neill

3 years

@PippaCrerar If he were a Civil Servant with such a messy personal life and financial problems he would never be allowed access to sensitive material and would be closely monitored by the security services.

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Mark O'Neill

2 years

@jobsworth @buitengebieden

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Mark O'Neill

2 months

@ProfSunnySingh It’s truly grim. About 1 billion people are now affected by life threatening heat. Climate change is the single biggest threat we face yet no government is willing to tackle it, partly because too many voters are behaving like toddlers.

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Mark O'Neill

3 years

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Mark O'Neill

2 years

@BootstrapCook A friend made the recipe for the first time last night and for the first time ever their family applauded their cooking :) Cheap, healthy, delicious and makes you look good. What more could one want from a recipe? You do invaluable work :) The original poster can talk to me

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@marxculture

Mark O'Neill

4 years

And yes, it runs Felix

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Mark O'Neill

3 years

Where is cat?

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Mark O'Neill

6 years

@PennyRed When I read Christine Delphy as a young man, when I had strong female role models in my life, when I discovered that I liked spending time with women as friends and people (that last one sounds too daft to mention but for so many men they never do it)

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@marxculture

Mark O'Neill

4 years

@BootstrapCook Worst mirror ever

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@marxculture

Mark O'Neill

5 years

@MarianKeyes @marybourkecomic "His brother nudged Seamus's arm and proffered a battered silver flask. Seamus raised it to his mouth and took a drink of the poitín inside. It tasted like fire, it tasted like home, it tasted like regret. It was then his tears came, flooding, merging with the rain."

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Mark O'Neill

8 years

Very excited to say that I will be joining @educationgovuk as Chief Digital Officer from next month

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Mark O'Neill

1 year

@FelicityHannah Indeed. We don’t have a wealth tax so instead we apply tax when things change state. The cocoa will have been taxed on import, the machines in the factory would have been taxed when bought, the workers would pay tax on pay. That choccie bar is layers of tax.

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Mark O'Neill

7 years

@cox_tom Jackson and O'Malley

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Mark O'Neill

3 years

It’s Friday and the revolution has begun

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Mark O'Neill

1 year

@silverjocelyn @jamieklingler So not Schubert’s Symphony No. 8 then

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Mark O'Neill

4 years

Seriously, if you are a Civil Servant who tweeted this then 1) talk to your union immediately, 2) recognise that there is massive sympathy for you and your action, and 3) I am serious about the offer of help

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Mark O'Neill

2 years

Er lads, I have some bad news for digital transformation consultants.

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Mark O'Neill

3 years

Sossidge madness @lucyinglis @annkempster @ProfSunnySingh

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Mark O'Neill

3 years

In case you missed the bizarre story of the RAF firing a £200,000 missile from a multimillion £ high performance fighter to shoot down a “mysterious drone” over Syria.

@RAF_Luton

RAF_Luton

3 years

BREAKING: First photo released of drone shot down in Syria by a House Sparrow air-to-air semi-nuclear missile fired from a Eurovision Typhoon. Each House Sparrow missile costs just £80,081.35 and it took just 4 missiles to hit this drone! Photographed from a Canberra #AvGeek

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Mark O'Neill

4 years

@caylenb It’s not a DCMA takedown, it’s a DSM-5 takedown to preserve the sanity of people on Twitter

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Mark O'Neill

1 year

@mrjamesob Because Roy Hodgson was unavailable

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Mark O'Neill

2 years

Nobody is willing to talk about the real reason behind labour shortages

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Mark O'Neill

3 years

Technology Terms Explained Data: An Excel spreadsheet Big Data: An Excel spreadsheet with links to other Excel spreadsheets Algorithm: An Excel macro AI: Linked Excel macros Blockchain: An expensive and inefficient Excel spreadsheet

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Mark O'Neill

5 years

@BootstrapCook Pup wanted to show other pup their teddy

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Mark O'Neill

1 year

@BigDirtyFry “Oppenheimer’s the bomb’s dad!”

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Mark O'Neill

3 years

NFTs are what you get when you combine the honesty of the cryptocurrency world with the restraint of the art world.

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Mark O'Neill

6 years

@mrjamesob Stock response: "That's great, HMRC will be delighted to know that. I've passed on your details"

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Mark O'Neill

6 years

𝗡𝗲𝘄𝘀 This marks my final month in the Civil Service as I will be leaving at the end of September.

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Mark O'Neill

5 years

There are no grown ups. I have sat in COBRA meetings. I have briefed Prime Ministers. I have worked with the biggest companies in the world. They are all fallible, flawed humans. If you are relying on the grown ups to save us, don’t. Save yourself. I am a 🐻

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Mark O'Neill

3 years

Sorry but Paris now belongs to the bears

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Mark O'Neill

4 years

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha *gasps for breath* Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha Have they ever met a small child?!

@IrishTimes

The Irish Times

4 years

Small children should be restricted to one square of chocolate a week

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Mark O'Neill

1 year

@PippaCrerar @sussex_police Hmm, Sussex Police do not make it easy to contact them. Your friend may want to find a solicitor local to Lewes who will know how to proceed. The Law Society have a list

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Mark O'Neill

3 years

Any chance to post the greatest joke in the history of humanity

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Mark O'Neill

5 years

@jessphillips They’ve lost us in South London with their attack of fried chicken. We’re a tolerant people but some things are sacred.

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Mark O'Neill

2 years

@cstross Crypt O’Currency

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Mark O'Neill

6 months

@histoftech That’s real courage. Glad it worked out for her.

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Mark O'Neill

1 month

A boat designer

@readymag

Readymag

1 month

if you were stuck on a desert island with a designer, who would it be?

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Mark O'Neill

10 months

@ruskin147 Great stuff! Not too long now and she’ll be editing the podcast

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Mark O'Neill

5 years

GOVERNMENT TIMETABLE FOR NEXT 6 MONTHS APRIL: Easter holidays MAY: 2 x Bank Holidays, Half-term, barely worth coming in JUNE: Sleeves up, down to work! JULY: Work stops, summer recess AUGUST: Still summer recess SEPTEMBER: Party conferences, recess OCTOBER: shit...

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Mark O'Neill

5 months

I recently had abdominal surgery to remove a tumour and am now in chemotherapy. It’s a very hard road to walk even if, like me, you are blessed with support and amazing care from @royalmarsdenNHS See the person, not the title.

@KensingtonRoyal

The Prince and Princess of Wales

@KensingtonRoyal

5 months

A message from Catherine, The Princess of Wales

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Mark O'Neill

3 years

@MarianKeyes In her latest novel, Marian Keyes explores the boundaries of minimalism. Consisting of just three words, the novel harks back to both the literary experimentation of Sterne, Joyce and Flann but also forward to the occluded directness of the Ireland of Milkman and Normal People

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Mark O'Neill

6 years

GDPR

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Mark O'Neill

4 years

@helentbbc @johnthelutheran We only want to help

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Mark O'Neill

6 years

Cat loaf

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Mark O'Neill

4 years

Many of the horrors of this world come down to men who have fled from taking any personal responsibility all their lives ending up in positions of responsibility.

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Mark O'Neill

5 years

The resignation of Sir Philip Rutnam is not just bad news for the government, it should terrify us all. Barely 3 months into this government it is clear that it is profoundly and dangerously incompetent. /1

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Mark O'Neill

3 years

Meditation

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