infinite speed @gods_dumb_idiot Twitter profile

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infinite speed

2 years

There’s a generation of kids between the age of 4-10 right now that will be queueing up Justin Jefferson youtube highlights hammered at 3am when they’re in college and that just warms my heart

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@gods_dumb_idiot

2 years

@KDTrey5 I’m literally just doing it so I can pay rent and eat. Sometimes if I have extra money I bet on sports and lose

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@gods_dumb_idiot

2 years

I just know 99% of the people liking this tweet have watched both of these videos at 3am multiple times talking with your boys about how sick AP was

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@gods_dumb_idiot

4 years

@Politiclank @PalmguyActual @barstoolsports Looks great on my shitbox tv

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@gods_dumb_idiot

2 years

@DrunkRyanPoles Looks comfortable for a 17 year old tbh

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@gods_dumb_idiot

2 years

@sophiekleeman Buddy is nice with it

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3 years

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@gods_dumb_idiot

1 year

@dohyoungpark I’m going to work so hard for Carlos Correa. I will be better in the spring

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@gods_dumb_idiot

3 years

@ttysrox @NBAPR I was a huge wolves fan before all of this. Once he said those curse words and celebrated with fans I was done! I refuse to root for a team that enjoys things and swears!

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@gods_dumb_idiot

3 years

@ryrebio @SInow @Tyrellcrosby Government isn’t gonna let you smash bro

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@gods_dumb_idiot

2 years

The Pohlads

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@gods_dumb_idiot

5 years

“So our armies are pretty spent after that whole battle against the NK and the army of the dead. The dragons could probably use a break too. Cersei’s got a buncha troops healthy as hell. We should prolly just take a break for a little whi-“ Daenerys:

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@gods_dumb_idiot

3 years

@LaVelleNeal Here’s the Twins spraying champagne after clinching a spot in a play in game. Keep going tho haha seems like people are loving these tweets!

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@gods_dumb_idiot

2 years

107 consecutive “thank you fans” for me. What an absolute run these past 27 years have been

Minnesota Vikings

@Vikings

2 years

Thank you for all of your support this season. #Skol

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@gods_dumb_idiot

6 years

Anthony Barr:

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@gods_dumb_idiot

2 years

@cjzero Just when you think they’ve lost their fastball Chuck makes a big play

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@gods_dumb_idiot

2 years

Massive beast on my flight to Dallas wearing a Tennessee Titans Vince Young jersey and an Indian Pacers flat bill. Guy put that fit on at 6am that’s unreal

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@gods_dumb_idiot

5 years

@JHY00 @JackKennedy Is that the guy from the brawny paper towels??

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@gods_dumb_idiot

3 years

What the Vikings should be looking for in their next coach/GM:

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@gods_dumb_idiot

2 years

@AsslexisFlexis @barstoolsports You don’t laugh at Kirk

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@gods_dumb_idiot

4 years

If I were the Twins, I would simply stop fucking losing games to the Chicago White Sox

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@gods_dumb_idiot

4 years

Vikes play at 3:30 and my girlfriend’s family is not a football family

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@gods_dumb_idiot

5 years

Wait are all Rainforest cafes on fire is it just at one location?

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@gods_dumb_idiot

11 months

@doggcum2 Can you imagine hitting a catchers stance to spit game to her? Or do you set her on your lap

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@gods_dumb_idiot

3 years

When they make 100 Shots the new national anthem #RIPDolph 🐬

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@gods_dumb_idiot

1 year

@_MLFootball @TheAthletic “It was weirdo fat guys on the team, doing weirdo fat guy shit” Seems like a vague statement but this paints such a vivid picture for anyone that played competitive ball (or those well versed in weird fat guy shit)

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@gods_dumb_idiot

4 years

Bert’s monster stat line from his walk today: Distance: 1.3 miles Pees: 7 Dumps: 2 Boners: 2

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@gods_dumb_idiot

7 months

@CalebQ247 @badlucklullaby @JoeCaffarelli @jackhryan17 @Brooks_Gate @RCCola1320 Actually Tampa Bay Rays is a shortened version of their legal name, Tampa Bay Sugar Rays

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@gods_dumb_idiot

2 years

Doing a little sandbag on this Monday morning. S/o to the king/queen that folded up this bird. What a dot

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@gods_dumb_idiot

1 year

@ESPNNBA This would be funny if you didn’t spend the last 3 months have a lakers circle jerk

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@gods_dumb_idiot

5 years

When you only cum a little bit #babynut

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@gods_dumb_idiot

11 months

@Dariustay1or @DTAthletes Reading this was a rollercoaster for me

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@gods_dumb_idiot

2 years

Can’t believe we actually got a GOT CUM playoff. Blessed

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@gods_dumb_idiot

2 years

@Michelle_Neat1 @sophiekleeman Because it’s not every day you get a photo shoot with Randy Johnson and it was time to show out

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@gods_dumb_idiot

7 years

Picture this: it’s 2007 and all the boys are sharing their best handjob stories at the lunch table. It’s your turn but you’ve never gotten one. You tell them you got one from a girl who goes to a different school and she doesn’t have a Facebook. They buy it. All is well

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@gods_dumb_idiot

6 years

Going straight French fries down a double black if the Vikes lose today I swear to god

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@gods_dumb_idiot

2 years

Kliff Kingsbury: hey that’s a flag Pat Pete: I don’t give a fuck

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@gods_dumb_idiot

2 years

@jamie96___ @Kofie This is the 34th madden

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@gods_dumb_idiot

4 years

Love Jefferson talking that shit to the whole Saints sideline down 12. Love him

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@gods_dumb_idiot

5 years

Try and tell me this guy isn’t going to be good. Fucking look at the sock/tape combo with the dark visor and headband exhaust pipes out the back #d #r #i #p

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@gods_dumb_idiot

9 months

@PurpyNFL @cotd1106 @dirtbagqueer I didn’t say anything about who was catching them. I’m talking pure RPMs

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@gods_dumb_idiot

3 years

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@gods_dumb_idiot

4 years

Waking up the day after the Vikings make an 11 point comeback with 6 minutes left and also Kirk’s 1st game-winning drive with less than 2 minutes left in a Vikings uniform against the 4-7 Panthers to get the Vikes to 5-6

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@gods_dumb_idiot

5 years

Hierarchy of beasts 4th of July workplace edition: 1. Biggest beast: took this week off and either end of last week/beginning of next 2. Huge beast: took this week off 3. Beast: took Wednesday off 4. Semi-beast: took off no days, has Friday off 5. Idiot: only has thurs off

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@gods_dumb_idiot

6 years

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@gods_dumb_idiot

2 years

@KDTrey5 I’m having Cinnamon Toast Crunch rolls for lunch right now

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@gods_dumb_idiot

5 years

There was like a 4 month period back in 2016 where I drank nothing but peach Karkov and keystones and I’m honestly surprised I’ve gotten this far in life after doing that

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@gods_dumb_idiot

3 years

@TylerIAm Was trying to imagine this guys trying to bring this up organically in a conversation and all I could think of was Frank Reynolds

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@gods_dumb_idiot

2 years

@pff_vibes Might be a hot take but I liked this play and I thought it was good for the Vikings

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@gods_dumb_idiot

7 years

Having a kid is pretty much just making a create-a-player with a really bad OVR and then you have to spend your actual time and money to upgrade their ratings

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@gods_dumb_idiot

6 years

Cracking your neck > giving neck for crack

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@gods_dumb_idiot

5 years

After tonight: Dalvin Cook is GOOD AT FOOTBALL Anthony Harris is GOOD AT FOOTBALL Xavier Rhodes is Stefon Diggs is GOOD AT FOOTBALL Anthony Barr is GOOD AT FOOTBALL

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6 years

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@gods_dumb_idiot

2 years

@SKORNorth Is 82 more than 49.5?

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@gods_dumb_idiot

4 years

@PFF How much time you got buddy?

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@gods_dumb_idiot

6 years

Twitter should make two (2) separate timelines. One where people can scream their political views and real life issues at each other and one where I can see tweets about wanting to get hit by a car and self-destructive decision making but also memes and dogs

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@gods_dumb_idiot

6 years

Sup @kourtneykardash

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@gods_dumb_idiot

6 years

Power rankings of wife qualities: 1. Likes medium/large dogs 2. Strong twitter presence 3. Is at least 2x smarter than me 4. Talks to guys at the bar just to get free drinks 5. Has exquisite taste in cereal 6. Likes making funny jokes

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@gods_dumb_idiot

3 years

When weed becomes legal everywhere and you can get an ounce of loud for $200 at Costco >>>

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@gods_dumb_idiot

2 years

@BellagioPhil Reached the Randy Moss/AP highlight vid demographic

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@gods_dumb_idiot

4 years

Call me crazy but I think cops should stop murdering people. That really should not be too much to ask, much less something that should even be asked in the first place

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@gods_dumb_idiot

4 years

My dog Bert got into a bunch of bread on Friday night when he was home alone and after 2.5 days of not shitting he went outside today and unleashed about 5 dumps in 10 minutes and now he’s gassed

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@gods_dumb_idiot

5 years

Social media trends I hate: 1. Reposting all your happy birthday posts from your friends. Literally screams “look at all my friends” 2. People on twitter acting like everything October is great and calling everything “spooky”

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@gods_dumb_idiot

2 years

@Peter_Bukowski I thought Packer fans didn’t care about what goes on in MN? Thanks for paying Zadarius for the Vikes tho!

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@gods_dumb_idiot

3 years

hello everyone, I have some terrible news: i am pretty hung

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@gods_dumb_idiot

6 years

Find u a brawd that’s wicked smaht and ordahs beeahs at the bah

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@gods_dumb_idiot

4 years

Is a Nodak-Minnesota matchup in the natty too much to ask? I’m trynna get arrested again

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@gods_dumb_idiot

4 years

@barstoolsports Just wait until the end of the game

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@gods_dumb_idiot

6 years

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@gods_dumb_idiot

2 years

@LocktoMinny He’s married to the game

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@gods_dumb_idiot

6 years

Between 15,000-27,000 cows. As of 2017 there were 31.2 million beef cattle in the US. So at most about .1% of the beef cattle in the US. In 2017 there were 17,284 murders and over 45,000 suicides in the US. But yes, let’s worry about the cows

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@gods_dumb_idiot

3 years

The Vikings had the 29th ranked defense last season and have the 25th ranked defense thru 12 weeks this season. In my article, I’ll explain why Kirk Cousins is solely responsible for every game the Vikings have lost since 2018 and destroyed the franchise.

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@gods_dumb_idiot

2 years

@TheNBACentral He was completely fine after a commercial break

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@gods_dumb_idiot

3 years

Here’s a famous blocked punt that should help cheer up some disappointed people in Wisconsin

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@gods_dumb_idiot

2 years

I was tired of not being able to find cool Vikes merch that isn’t overpriced so I started a store with the help of a few people.

Loonatics MN | Minnesota Sports Shirts

Shirts for Minnesota sports fans. Shop meme shirts, graphic tees, and shirts you can submit ideas or designs for!

loonatics-mn.myshopify.com

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@gods_dumb_idiot

5 years

@Hyper_Greatness @AaronNagler @DiiorioMichael In 9 games against the vikes he has never had more than 70 receiving yards.

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@gods_dumb_idiot

5 months

Forgot bless the TL yesterday #loading

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@gods_dumb_idiot

2 years

@chasecar7 Going up to the bartender and showing them this tweet fully expecting free drinks

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@gods_dumb_idiot

5 years

Yesterday I found out the Vikings play “It’s a Long Way to the Top” after they win. If I’ve learned one thing in the past few years, it’s that you don’t fuck with a team that has a song (especially if it’s a sick song)

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@gods_dumb_idiot

6 years

@TylerIAm Showing the masses how stupid the masses are

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@gods_dumb_idiot

6 years

Why don’t we just start launching our garbage into the sun? Actually serious. Like worst case scenario the aliens intercept it and fire it back but at that point the garbage wouldn’t even be the biggest problem. Hmu @NASA

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@gods_dumb_idiot

3 years

New Burger King chicken sammie fucks. I wouldn’t openly admit eating something from Burger King on this website if it was just ok. Those things actually go dumb hard

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@gods_dumb_idiot

2 years

I found the new one

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@gods_dumb_idiot

6 years

What Lebron is doing is impressive, but let’s not forget that Daunte Culpepper put up 5,000+ total yards, 41 total TDs and won a playoff game with a team that had Onterrio Smith as its leading rusher and Nate Burleson as its leading receiver

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@gods_dumb_idiot

5 years

@stoolpresidente @Barstool_Quotes Not a leak. Florida Laws make law enforcement records “public records” unless it’s exempt as active criminal intelligence information. That’s why “Florida Man” headlines happen in Florida and not other places. Read a book

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@gods_dumb_idiot

1 year

@ESPNNFL @JVSwaps @spardisjx Yes these are the greatest Vikings uniforms ever

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@gods_dumb_idiot

6 years

Girls taking screenshots of sad music on rainy days as if I’m not over here listening to sad shit all the time rain snow or shine

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@gods_dumb_idiot

5 years

Just found out that Topgolf actually is NOT a place where you can get top while you golf. Just golf. No top. Kinda misleading

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@gods_dumb_idiot

3 years

I’m in downtown minneapolis right now, and oh boy does it fucking blow. Not a cool place!

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@gods_dumb_idiot

2 years

Can’t eat I got my grillz in

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@gods_dumb_idiot

1 year

@Vikings This is the most depressing dub cam ever

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@gods_dumb_idiot

6 years

Girls go to their first pop edm concert and call it a rave and start telling everyone they’re a rave chick with daddy issues

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@gods_dumb_idiot

6 years

Treadwell = Treadbad

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@gods_dumb_idiot

4 years

One time when I was 12 I was like 3rd row at a Wolves game in a pretty empty arena and chirped the shit out of Gilbert Arenas. Called him Agent 0 rings a bunch. Buddy shot me a death glare in the 4th Q and like 2 years later we all found out he was bringing the strap to games

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@gods_dumb_idiot

2 years

In a wild turn of events the gophers may cause my to unalive myself. Fortunately, 35W is only a short walk from Huntington Bank Stadium

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@gods_dumb_idiot

4 years

Put myself down for 6’8” on my license so when I commit crimes and such they’ll be looking for a much taller man, but if I’m ever kidnapped they’ll also be looking for a much taller man. It’s a double edged sword, but I’ll take the upside risk.

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@gods_dumb_idiot

3 years

My Uber driver said good morning when he picked me up. Little does he know I’m still up and never been more scared in my life

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@gods_dumb_idiot

6 years

Every girl in MN

James

@CaucasianJames

6 years

hey i noticed u have a boat wanna be friends it’s not cause u have a boat i’ve always wanted to hang with u

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@gods_dumb_idiot

5 years

We should just do biannual one month quarantines even after this whole corona deal has been dealt with. I’ve gotten mildly drunk in my house every day this week (and prolly will continue to do so) and it has been wonderful

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@gods_dumb_idiot

1 year

@CollinJustin1 @SethKingg85 @prestonnwalshh @ManeuverAroundM @BASportsPodcast @ESPNFantasy @JJettas2 Wins aren’t a QB stat I guess they’re a WR stat now

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