primordial soup kitchen @fernbirg Twitter profile

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primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

7 hours

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primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

3 months

The Kent State Massacre is apparently memorialized by this… parking spot?

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primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

3 months

@corpseinorbit @conzmoleman I guess America is just one big parking lot anyway

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primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

4 months

Chair in the water is such an elite move that I never considered. I have so much to learn.

New town every hour

@TownsUsa

4 months

Shell Lake, Wisconsin Washburn County Population: 1,310 Photos from Google Places API Link:

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@fernbirg

8 months

This guy was born closer to Abraham Lincoln’s presidency than his own.

U.S. politicians doing normal shit

@normalpols

8 months

Joe Biden. 2023. Happy birthday to Joe Biden. Born on this day in 1942.

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@fernbirg

1 year

@marisatomay

primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

1 year

Napoleon went off here. True love

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primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

1 year

Huge developments in the ice cream so good cinematic universe

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@fernbirg

4 months

Hillary Clinton

@HillaryClinton

4 months

“A bloodbath.” What would you say if you saw this in another country?

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@fernbirg

3 months

In which the governor of South Dakota casually admits to shooting her puppy in a gravel pit for chasing birds, the thing it was bred to do.

ettingermentum🥥🌴

@ettingermentum

3 months

What the fuck did she mean by this

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@fernbirg

1 year

Napoleon went off here. True love

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@fernbirg

1 year

@wittytim @marisatomay He was an incredibly horny guy. He also wrote a letter (to Josephine!) expressing that if Czar Alexander I of Russia were a woman, he’d make him his mistress

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@fernbirg

1 year

He loved her so much that even after they separated he insisted she keep her title as Empress of France. Her name was the last word he ever spoke.

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primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

21 days

English translation of Ben Gvir’s tweet below, just replace “Jews” with “Palestinians”.

איתמר בן גביר

@itamarbengvir

22 days

הגיע הזמן לפרק את הספינים, ולענות למבול התדרוכים וההאשמות השקריות של השב"כ ודובריו בתקשורת. מאז שנכנסתי לתפקידי כשר לביטחון לאומי, אחת המטרות העליונות שהצבתי לעצמי היא הרעת תנאי המחבלים בבתי הסוהר, וצמצום זכויותיהם למינימום המתחייב על פי חוק. כך התחייבתי לבוחריי ולעם ישראל עוד

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@fernbirg

2 months

*travels back in time 3400 years* Me: woah, Poverty Point! First guy I see: what the fuck did you just call me

JDK

@JDKDAY

2 months

*travels back in time 4000 years* Me: where am I? First guy I see: Hello! You’re in the Indus Valley Civilization! Me: oh cool you guys called it that too

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@fernbirg

10 months

Dude who threw his shoes at Bush is on Twitter posting absolute heaters

Muntadhar al-Zaidi

@muntazer_zaidi

10 months

I was born in a country with oil beneath it and thieves above it

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@fernbirg

10 months

@Seamus_Malek

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@fernbirg

5 months

@Eternal11th Fenring didn’t bother me as much because I hated reading his annoying ass dialogue but was really surprising how little of Alia we see. Though I’m convinced they’re giving Denis at least 3 more movies so not too worried about it.

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@fernbirg

4 months

@farmerlychucks @toomuchistrue @elischoop That sounds cool what are the comics about

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@fernbirg

1 year

Every time this has come across my feed I’ve watched it in it’s entirety, sometimes twice. That is to say I think I get the appeal, it’s hypnotizing. Sort of just enter a fugue state

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@fernbirg

1 year

@bamfartgera

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@fernbirg

2 months

RIP Jefferson Davis. Although we have our differences, you were a gr.. Sike! Your grave sucks and people hate you so much they had to lock it behind a gate. Hold this L.

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@fernbirg

3 months

@RenzoB1998 Well I’m 1000 miles away from Ohio so I asked the question on twitter. Thanks for the answer.

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primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

7 months

Really fitting that this video opens with shots of F35s (can’t fly in the rain) and Ospreys (probably killed more service members in crashes than enemy combatants)

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@fernbirg

1 year

Between this and the eurodance song it’s been a great week for videos you watch 1000 times in a row

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@fernbirg

6 years

Just found out my mom checks my twitter. Hey mom have a great day love you

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primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

1 month

Pope Francis accepted an invitation from King Abdullah II to visit Jordan and now there’s a mosaic of a golf cart a few hundred yards away from the site of Jesus’ baptism.

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primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

4 years

@Boxford19 @writesamuelpink @SeanRMoorhead @willmenaker Why is one number real big and all the other numbers real small

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@fernbirg

11 days

@StovenBloke

ettingermentum🥥🌴

@ettingermentum

12 days

Will they ever lose? #DonorRevolt

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@fernbirg

3 months

Jack casts Kenneth as the host of a new NBC house renovation show, but Tracey gets jealous and starts buying all the houses and trashing them. Liz assumes a Hispanic homeowner is the cleaning lady and spends the rest of the ep trying to prove she’s not racist.

grimm

@ExileGrimm

3 months

The words "30 Rock ass show" get tossed around a lot and it's kind of lost it's meaning, but I feel there's no more appropriate a descriptor than "30 Rock ass show" here:

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@fernbirg

3 months

@RenzoB1998 I do not live in Kent.

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primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

4 months

Nooo it wasn’t about defending a child rapist, just the child rapist’s right to go to film premieres without fearing consequences for his actions!

Margaret "Molly" Rasberry🏳️‍🌈🍉

@RasberryRazz

4 months

I know a bunch of people are going to go ballistic when I bring this up, and Roman Polanski is an unrepentant monster, but the "Polanski Petition" was not a petiton to exonerate him. It was a petition to prevent film festivals being used as subterfuge to imprison filmmakers.

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@fernbirg

6 months

@lakefieldmoscow Check this one out when you get a chance, US Army strategy to conduct battle in cities with population of 10 million+

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primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

9 months

@turdducken @ettingermentum Last one is especially insane, Brough was a mentally disabled aboriginal kid getting tortured in prison

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primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

3 years

POV: you are my bucket of popcorn

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primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

3 months

This state has genuinely given up all pretense of a democratic government. We’re going to illegally rewrite the constitution and fraudulently pass bills to ruin your life, because what are you going to do about it.

Nick Chrastil

@nchrastil

3 months

Ah, so someone on the Louisiana House floor fraudulently voted for two reps in order to narrowly pass an anti-union bill. But they're just going to let it slide. No need to find out who did it. No big deal.

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@fernbirg

2 months

the architecture of south louisiana

Virginia Hanusik

@virginiahanusik

2 months

the architecture of south louisiana

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primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

6 months

Even ignoring the Zionism shit, there is just no way she thought this was that funny. And then set up the camera and still laughed so hard she cried? At what?

Mayim Bialik

@missmayim

6 months

Remixing my reaction to @standupdan because it was making me laugh so hard - I thought you should see how hard I was laughing and maybe you need a laugh from Dan Ahdoot too!

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@fernbirg

22 days

It’s insane how much Scandinavia looks like a flaccid dick and I’ve always wondered why people don’t bring it up more often.

Zeitsinn

@zeit_sinn

22 days

europe has such a goated shape. instantly recognizable. one of the best outlines of a continent, maybe ever

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@fernbirg

1 year

Boring ahh neutral snap show

Kerosene Heights

@keroseneheights

1 year

meanwhile diy bands are praying that someone’s watching family guy on their phone and posting it on twitter during their set

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@fernbirg

2 months

MacBook screensaver design team is hooting and hollering and pumping their fists right now.

Ed Piotrowski

@EdPiotrowski

2 months

My goodness! The aurora over the Matterhorn in the Swiss Alps! #aurora #NorthernLights

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@fernbirg

6 months

Also taking this opportunity to remind everyone that Jesse has an ongoing segment on his show that’s just showing texts from his mom talking about how disappointed she is in him.

primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

6 months

I recommend watching this clip all the way to the end, it’s like a 30 Rock bit.

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@fernbirg

4 years

@Boxford19 @writesamuelpink @SeanRMoorhead @willmenaker

Public Citizen

@Public_Citizen

4 years

Newly uninsured people: United States 12,700,000 *** Australia 0 Belgium 0 Canada 0 Chile 0 Denmark 0 Finland 0 France 0 Germany 0 Greece 0 Hungary 0 Iceland 0 Israel 0 Italy 0 Japan 0 Netherlands 0 New Zealand 0 Norway 0 Portugal 0 South Korea 0 Spain 0 Sweden 0 Turkey 0 UK 0

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primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

8 months

New project, created this account covering historical events and interesting stories from Louisiana’s past.

Louisiana On This Day

@Louisiana_OTD

8 months

November 16, 1972 Southern University students and activists Leonard Brown and Denver Smith are killed when police open fire on a campus protest.

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primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

3 months

Don’t really have a joke for this one just making sure y’all saw it.

Hillary Clinton

@HillaryClinton

3 months

What's at stake for our climate in this November's elections? Absolutely everything.

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primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

11 days

Trying to determine which vape has the most juice.

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primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

2 months

Truck driver refusing to back up to the bay doors because he’s “going to hit all these cars.”

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primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

2 months

A tornado absolutely obliterated my small town in southern Maryland in 2002. Had to go to school in a trailer for a year and when you’d tell kids you were from Laplata they’d go oh you’re from tornado town?

Bojan Simendic

@BojanSimendic

2 months

#tornado in Maryland 6/5/24

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primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

6 months

So true man. Need help writing paper essay, locked out of account help shit, OnlyFans, shrooms, my account got hacked i need a sugar daddy my metamask trust wallet got hacked i need a logo need a banner i am suspended from nft griffin metamask nft i need xbox 360 pls help

Tobi

@mocutobi

6 months

It’s time to acknowledge that 75% of Twitter’s staff were laid off and this thing is still running

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@fernbirg

2 years

A recent trend to beat the heat in China involves rolling your shirt up over your belly, called the Beijing bikini. We have a lot to learn from our Chinese brothers

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@fernbirg

1 year

One of the most terrifying texts a person can receive

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@fernbirg

7 months

Really cool that I see 10 videos a day of Knesset members, IOF soldiers, Israeli TV hosts celebrating the dead Palestinian children, and we still have to pretend opposing that is antisemitic. More dead children in 80 days than every conflict on earth in the last 3 years combined.

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primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

11 days

Found a millennium falcon nightclub out in the middle of nowhere Australia.

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primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

1 year

Ay my bad homie I didn’t mean to spread joy and positivity every day. Sorry man for reminding you that life is a beautiful gift and every living being is a piece of the universe expressing itself. My apologies bro

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primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

4 months

Sets a dangerous precedent to arrest men for raping children. Won’t someone think of the poor traveling raping artist!

You Call Yourself a Film Critic

@FilmCriticMaybe

4 months

@RasberryRazz They sent an international warrant out to an artist while he was travelling for work How can people NOT see what a dangerous precedent that sets even if it's used against a rapist?

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@fernbirg

4 months

Read this a couple years ago and it’s pretty haunting, this guy almost certainly built the Boston marathon bombs. Was admitted to a mental hospital for years during the surviving brother’s trial and released within a week of his conviction. Very bizarre.

The Boston Marathon Bomb Maker Is Still on the Loose

We know who killed three people and maimed 260 more five years ago at the Boston Marathon. But whoever built the bombs that ripped apart so many lives is still out there.

www.newsweek.com

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primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

3 months

As a kid I thought mouse holes would play a much larger role in my life.

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@fernbirg

15 days

We had a near-30 year streak of boomer presidents, now broken by a guy from the generation *before* them.

Mike Solana

@micsolana

16 days

wait a minute holy shit this man came *before* the boomers?

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@fernbirg

6 months

@lakefieldmoscow Some really wild stuff in there. There’s a section telling the reader they should study the specific city’s history and culture and people so they can better understand how to wage war in it.

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primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

3 years

There’s an episode of 30 Rock where James Franco starts dating Liz to cover up the fact that he’s actually in love with a Japanese body pillow. Anyway I’m convinced this exact scenario is occurring with MGK and Megan Fox

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primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

3 years

Reading the news

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primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

3 months

I’ve had like 50 replies and quote tweets trying to tell me I’m the weird one for finding this strange. America brain is fatal.

primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

3 months

The Kent State Massacre is apparently memorialized by this… parking spot?

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@fernbirg

7 months

One of the downsides of the internet is the loss of regional slang. 50 years ago “rizz” would just be something you heard your cousin from California say.

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primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

3 months

Have you guys noticed the United States makes me a total buzzkill at parties and not shower for weeks at a time.

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primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

9 months

I’m at FedEx y’all need anything?

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primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

3 months

@RTMannJr

Louisiana On This Day

@Louisiana_OTD

8 months

November 16, 1972 Southern University students and activists Leonard Brown and Denver Smith are killed when police open fire on a campus protest.

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primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

2 years

There he is, General Booty

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primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

9 days

Not doing my job like I’m secret service, hanging out my dogs like I’m secret service, scramble your eggs like I’m secret service, couldn’t fit all the pieces like I’m secret service.

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primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

4 months

@mildred_florsh Also hanging in the US senate

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primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

2 months

This is where I send all of my tweets from.

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primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

3 years

Wait… is that… it couldn’t be… oh no

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primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

1 year

July 3: Heads (four in a row)

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primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

1 year

I went to the all encompassing biome and nobody knew you

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primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

12 days

How else am I meant to maintain a good relationship with my sister.

josh

@geolojosh_

12 days

oomfs pointing at anything green and saying “omg brat??”

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primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

2 months

You non binary, my 9 been scary

duppy

@9inobby

2 months

Progressive ass opp

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primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

2 months

Your skin is not an organ, do not listen to any maniac that tells you otherwise. Organs are inside your body.

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primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

1 year

Algorithm now recommending ads for schizophrenia meds to me. I will not read into this at all, I’m sure it bodes well for my mental health

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primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

18 days

My dad was an Air Force pilot for 30+ years, has a wall filled with challenge coins he got throughout the years. He told me he turned down a job as a CIA pilot after he flew George Tenet once. I used to joke that he’d actually taken the job and not told us, until I found this.

🚩 Marxism and Conspiracy Study 🇵🇸🪂🔻

@northwoods_memo

18 days

Challenge coins issued by the CIA Special Activities Division. Does any non-US intel agency even do this?

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primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

6 months

He also has one of the hardest lines in history: "Blame the Nazis for making me become a gun designer, I always wanted to construct agricultural machinery."

Foundational White Janissary

@White_Janissary

6 months

Mikhail Kalashnikov spent the latter years of his life haunted by the deaths caused by his rifle, to the extent that the Patriarch of Moscow had to write him a letter basically saying that even though the Bible preaches peace God is (probably) cool with him inventing the AK…

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@fernbirg

1 month

Check this out.

primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

2 months

This is where I send all of my tweets from.

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@fernbirg

1 year

@beatmywheat

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@fernbirg

4 months

@drivingme_mads Lol not gonna lie that looks like a nightmare, just wading through discarded pizza crust and spilled bloody marys

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@fernbirg

12 days

Played soccer at Newman a few times and occasionally if you cleared the ball too hard it’d slam into somebody’s tombstone in the adjacent cemetery.

jacob

@thesoggyblanket

12 days

photographs i took in New Orleans

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@fernbirg

2 years

Sir he’s donning him now his gay apparel

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@fernbirg

9 months

Consider donating, Anera is highly rated among charity watchdogs

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@fernbirg

8 months

Tomorrows December 1st, you know what that means…

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@fernbirg

27 days

For anyone keeping score, this is now the second (known) time that Elon has personally intervened to reinstate an account after they posted CSAM.

Ken Klippenstein 📎

@kenklippenstein

27 days

???

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@fernbirg

2 months

Eating 3 avocados in 4 minutes is so good when ya ain’t got a girl in your ear telling you she’s not attracted to you anymore.

primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

2 months

Girl just got the ick because I ate avocados too fast.

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@fernbirg

3 months

I did landscaping in Chicago one summer to pay for Lollapalooza tickets, and one day walked across the street from the Walmart we were working at to a Wendys that had one of these. Me and Aldo (only guy in my crew that knew any English) ate our baconaters in silence. Really nice.

Scott Barber

@thescottbarber

3 months

I’ll take my lunch in the solarium, thank you

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@fernbirg

2 months

… is what I’d say on Opposite Day.

primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

2 months

Okay I’ve taken everyone’s advice into consideration and I will not be Infiltrating Scientology.

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@fernbirg

13 days

EXCLUSIVE: Daily Loud can now confirm Logan is trying a new energy drink. Pretty good.

primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

11 months

BREAKING: Daily Loud is now reporting Logan has decided on ramen noodles for lunch today

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@fernbirg

3 months

Brief thread on the history of Norco, Louisiana and the largest slave revolt in US history:🧵

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primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

13 days

Motivating my son before his first day of Chinese lessons.

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@fernbirg

26 days

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@fernbirg

25 days

The good news is that if Biden loses, he’ll be eligible to run again in 2028.

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@fernbirg

2 years

The Bermuda Triangle lowkey fell off

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@fernbirg

1 year

@runforsomething @MAJuanJaramillo @JacobForAB @SamforMarlboro @Vote4Irvin @Senger4Progress @EleanaLittle @westdfox @Angela4Amherst @Ferguson4Ctown @MarcusForDayton @TylerJamesTitus @jonwirons @Michelle4County @KyleforPA @PAForJBS @TogetherforPR @elJaimeMartinez @Nate4Neabsco @Nat4Cville @Sam4Fishers Not a lawyer, not a progressive. @votelandry is both

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primordial soup kitchen

@fernbirg

4 months

Did we fix the problem with the bees dying or just ignoring it now

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@fernbirg

2 months

Oh yeah man my racist uncle votes republican because Ted Kennedy deregulated the airlines, it’s all he ever talks about at thanksgiving.

Matt Stoller

@matthewstoller

2 months

The myth of modern liberalism is rooted in southerners being racist instead of Jimmy Carter and Ted Kennedy deregulating airlines and trucking to crush labor. It’s just rich kid story time.

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@fernbirg

8 months

@cwhitesaid In DC at a small gathering of likeminded individuals

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