Annie Lederman @annielederman Twitter profile

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

2 years

Where do you want me to come (and don’t say on your face)? Tix:

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Last Seen Profiles

@fikraaaaaaaaa

@muftifuture

@canaan1024

@suguru0u0

@jimdotbtc

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@Spi4r

@Jason157450

@dianelopezolea

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@BeyondBeautiful

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@Lilly

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@POLIS_Deakin

@RickfordRussell

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@jennifer_lee07

Annie Lederman

@annielederman

4 years

FYI If you’re a white woman mad at Bill Burr’s monologue, you’re openly identifying as one of his bitches.

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

8 years

When you've got enemies but are also lonely

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

3 years

Guys I did open mics with @TimJDillon and Michel Che and I’ve always been way funnier than both of them.

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

5 years

If you think it’s boring when instagram goes down on you, you should meet my 1st boyfriend.

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

3 years

I’m so happy to be back on Twitter. I can’t wait to remember why I hate it here.

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

3 years

I had an amazing time hanging and talking shit with my friend @joerogan on JRE! The presale for the tshirts I drew is LIVE

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

4 years

But has anyone tried to cure COVID-19 with mushrooms yet?

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

4 years

Just when we all thought the #tigerking craze had finally ended, @joerogan tracks down and lands the ultimate interview. Carole Baskin’s missing husband spills it all on the latest #JRE

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

4 years

Imagine celebs getting naked to tell you to vote but it’s actually the ones you wanna see nude.

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

9 years

I miss teen goths. You just don't see that type of commitment in high schoolers these days.

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

6 years

I can’t wait to play Scarlett Johansson as an actress who almost played a a trans guy in a Lifetime about when she almost played a trans man

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

4 years

I want to run for president but I’m not mentally ill enough.

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

7 years

Hey female comics, don't talk about your pussies on stage because it takes the attention away from your naked Instagram selfies!

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

2 years

I just took a dump so big I want to travel back in time, transition into a 19 year old boy, and join a frat just so I can text a pic of it to a group chat that will truly appreciate it.

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

7 years

Teachers in 6 months: "Students, please open your guns to page 12"

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

9 years

Men who are upset that I curse, there are so many other things to get mad at me for. Like, did you know I can vote? I also show my ankles!

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

4 years

It’s 5:30pm and I just took an adderall, pussy!

Bonnie McFarlane

@bonniemcfarlane

4 years

Omg I’m drinking coffee after 6 on a Wednesday

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

3 years

My lingerie is me dressed like Eminem.

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

5 years

My dad is soooo bad.

Kyle Dunnigan

@kyledunnigan

5 years

#cattydaddy @annielederman @CandyBrownTown

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

3 years

“The world is ending” is such a weak stance. I prefer “Hell is beginning”

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

4 years

Hey @joerogan can I have your @Showtime password? Our episode of the @TheComedyStore documentary airs tonight at 10pm 🖤🖤🖤

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

5 years

Sucks instagrams down cuz I can’t read

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

6 years

Please don't talk during sex. It makes it harder for your partner to pretend you're someone else.

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

6 years

How come when Bill Murray crashes a random house party it’s “fun” but when my grandpa does it it’s “dementia”?

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

5 years

When you meet a hero ALWAYS thank him for his service #FyreFestival #andyking #takeonefortheteam

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

5 years

@chrisdelia I know you irl and can confiDENTly say you’re hot with a terrible personality

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

3 years

#NewProfilePic JUST GOT MY PROFILE BACK 😎 May my hackers rot.

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

4 years

I’m so glad I’ve aged out of abortions. Can’t show up to the clinic with crows feet. They’d be like “Are you sure you want to get rid of this MIRACLE baby?!”

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

4 years

My official statement on all of my friends moving out of California. Should I stay or should I go?

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

3 years

Tweeted for the 1st time in months and was shamed for a typo. I deleted it and will never come back here again. I remember why I left. Goodbye you negative trash app. I choose happiness and joy, If you need me I’ll be over on Instagram watching girls get hurt.

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

2 years

Vaccine takes another one too young. #RIPBarbaraWalters

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

6 years

Yo guys, please stop posting pictures of your moms. I can't stop cumming.

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

4 years

You guys! I have a whole chapter in tonight’s ep of @TheComedyStore doc at 10pm on @Showtime 🖤 I’m so honored to be a part of that place and this show. I really can’t even express it. I hope you all enjoy it. Thank you #TheComedyStore #showtime #mikebinder #joerogy #adamegat

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

6 years

I am so tired of this. Interesting that you’re all for females in comedy but don’t follow me. You don’t support me? Why? Stop counting lineups and falling for bullshit marketing tactics. WRITE A JOKE OR MIND YOUR BUSINESS!

Bye Bye

@RIP2witter

6 years

Oooo 4 women, Not sure this was what Gilette meant about being better men, but whatever.

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

4 years

I’m feeling controversial. EPSTEIN KILLED HIMSELF.

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

2 years

Every day is my birthday ❤️ @DougStanhope

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

3 years

On a road trip with my parents and my mom keeps calling old friends and talking to them on speaker. Mom: who else should we call? Dad: the police. There’s about to be a homicide.

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

3 years

Me: Dad, do you remember when you bought mom that trampoline so she could lose weight and she cried? Dad: Honey, I’ve blocked out every time your mother has cried. [beat] I couldn’t even tell you what she looks like at this point.

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

2 years

And that’s what you get for bumping @marcmaron in the OR

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

8 years

Fuck it. I'm getting a sword.

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

3 years

Twitter is trash. I forgot. Goodbye again!

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

7 years

@biniambiz But like it really does look like you.

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

3 years

Hardest I’ve laughed and hardest to follow!!!

Shirley Gnome’s Dormant Account

@ShirleyGnome

3 years

Hey @annielederman - that was me 👋🏻 Now I can add “mentioned on @joerogan for going full frontal” to my grant applications. I think you’re hilarious and you crushed those shows despite my exuberant vulv.

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

2 years

It’s my birthday. In lieu presents please donate to my favorite charity that is called replying with compliments to this tweet. #attention

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

4 years

Me doing stand up in the future

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

3 years

@TimJDillon But what if you identify as a prick

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

4 years

If it’s Spam, it has to be pig asshole. Si es Spam, tiene que ser gilipollas de cerdo.

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

2 years

I’m on my way to the #metgala wearing nothing but Amber Heard’s smeared feces.

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

1 year

I know I’ve grown as a person because old me would have totally judged the man I just saw walk barefoot into the airplane bathroom and the new me sees how it’s not my business if he chooses to be the most disgusting piece of garbage I’ve ever seen in my entire life. Namaste.

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

6 years

I just muted everyone under 30.

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

9 years

When my parents go crazy on FB I wanna say, "I BROUGHT U INTO TO THIS WORLD, I CAN TAKE U OUT" & then change the passwords I set for them.

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

5 years

LOLZ 4 LYFE

Chris D'Elia

@chrisdelia

5 years

Chris D’Elia vs Albuquerque

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

2 years

Skankfest ruled.

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

9 years

Ben Affleck getting divorced and ruining his kids childhood is a lot like Ben Affleck playing Batman and ruining all of our childhoods

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

7 years

Oprah 2020

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

5 years

Venmo 120k to @annie -lederman

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

9 years

Driving to Blockbuster, roaming the aisles, getting a movie &a pickle-in-a-bag took 25% less time than finding something to watch on Netflix

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

9 years

I lost my virginity on a waterbed when I was 14 in Northeast Philly and now I'm a grown woman w zero tattoos. Where to I pick up my medal?

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

4 years

In college they called me “The Seafood Tower” cuz I ate clams and had crabs.

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

5 years

Didn’t realize Best Buy would be filled with hot guys. Had to act fast!

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

3 years

Jk I’m back

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

3 years

Andddd we’re back!

The Comedy Store

@TheComedyStore

3 years

Sat 5/1 Lineup: @alyciacooper @ArgusHamilton @RonFunches @RickIngraham @realjeffreyross @nealbrennan @TimJDillon @annielederman @byronbowers Sandro Iocolano We'll be announcing next week's show's shortly. #standup #comedy

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

7 years

This is my art and it is not that deep

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

11 years

You know what they say, "Liquor before beer, nothing to fear. Wine from a box, oops I fucked a guy who wears Crocs."

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

6 years

I call it bone broth

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

3 years

I’ve been awake for 20 mins and already drunk with the power of my first successful April Fools prank. No one is safe.

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

3 years

I totally agree.

AJohnson

@AMJ71770742

3 years

If you aren't watching @Khalamityk @annielederman @littleesther on Trash Tuesday you are missing out. That's all

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

6 years

My favorite genre of comedy is funny comedy.

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

5 years

Shut up and lick my dick!

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

8 years

8 years no booze today!

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

3 years

Just saw a Newsweek headline about a rollercoaster breaking down and it surprisingly wasn’t an article about Rose McGowan

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

3 years

@netw3rk Requiem for a Dream with my pops. Early show. Only ones in the theater. I was 16. Unless you watched hardcore porn with your father, I win.

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

9 years

Internet trolls would have a much easier time if they just learned the difference between "your" and "you're"

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

5 years

I have no New Years resolutions because I’m fucking perfect.

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

4 years

I’ve gained so much weight in quarantine that my boobies have gone from mosquito bites to murder hornet stings. 🍼🍼

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

10 years

I will finally reach my goal weight #becauseIdied @midnight

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

5 years

Fun fact: 3 out of 4 Instagram models have hemorrhoids.

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

2 years

I like to consider myself a person who isn’t easily swayed but I listened to one hour of a podcast about the Carnivore diet and am now fully convinced that vegetables are poison and salad is killing me.

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

4 years

I almost dated a singer-songwriter but I didn’t want to spend 70% of my life explaining his hats.

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

4 years

I had a nightmare that I showed up to my zoom classes topless instead of bottomless.

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

7 years

Let's police women's speech in the name of feminism!!!!

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

4 years

The controversial masks I designed and drew are still available for a limited time! Get yours here:

Annie Lederman Merch

Comedian Annie Lederman's Merch. Stay healthy and clothed and have a laugh!

annie-lederman-merch.myshopify.com

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

4 years

I cannot believe Trump paid so few taxes and also what’s his tax guys name? I want to punish him with a prank where I hire him and force him to save me millions of dollars.

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

7 years

Dad: Scarlett Johansson is so hot Me: Ew Dad. People say I look like her. Dad: Uh. Maybe from the neck up.

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

9 years

TROLLS, I'll take your anonymity away. I AM A PERSON. Be good to all women, not just the one's you see every day. http://t.co/GAZdB9WSGw

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

7 years

Yes comics with no opinions are the funniest! Agreed!

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

6 years

It’s the guy I lost my virginity to on a waterbed’s birthday today!

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

2 years

I’m just glad I didn’t have to give your family “the call” ❤️ you. So happy it was a success. Now heal so we can go back on the road.

Josh Potter

@J_Potter

2 years

Back home from surgery finally. All good news. Thank you to the best friend a guy could have, @annielederman for helping me get through the day and coming to the hospital with me. You’re the best.

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Annie Lederman

@annielederman

8 years

The attendant on this Philly flight just stopped at every row & said "trash." I'm pretty sure she wasn't even collecting garbage.

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