Matthias @MatthiasReedV Twitter profile

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

1 month

stripping down, back to basics, waiting to build on a good foundation

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

3 months

The true protagonist of Supersize Me is still alive

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

11 months

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

2 months

Just wish him a Happy Father’s Day. “I hope we can put our political differences aside for the day” is a passive aggressive fuck you

Michael Kandel

@K_A_N_D_E_L

2 months

happy father's day to my dad, who once texted me this

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

5 months

Nobody tells you that you can just move to Connecticut, make 6 figures in insurance, buy a nice house in a safe neighborhood for under 400k, take day trips to NYC/Boston/RI Beaches/VT-NH Mountains, visit the best US casinos outside Vegas and eat the best pizza outside Italy

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

1 month

*taps sign*

MollyPeonies

@mollypeonies

1 month

I am not married, but if I were:

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

4 months

@tulpapilled Please do not take Benadryl recreationally, it isn’t weed, it’s really dangerous

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

3 months

@TimothyNerozzi Trader Joe is the only one I can trust rn

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

4 months

@BKWelles Ye has never done anything immoral

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

8 months

@cubsjaw It’s LEDs

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

1 year

@s4m31p4n I did this. No date #2 .

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

3 months

Exciting

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

2 years

@cenkuygur @AOC Cenk claiming to be progressive but being pro-war is a great example of why TYT gets 0 views these days

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

3 months

I have an Uncle who got laid off after 25 years at the same insurance company. He didn’t look for another corporate job, he took his dream job - Archery department at Cabela’s

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

7 months

@kylerrobbins Jolly Good Fellow is banger. Sorry they didn’t play Mo Bamba through a Bose Bluetooth speaker

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

1 month

@UpdatingOnRome Ahhh the good old days

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

8 months

@1929stockcrash New Haven was not the right city to pick for this joke

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

1 year

@paularambles An exclamation point fixes this

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

2 months

@bigdaddymode I’ve seen all I need

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

1 year

@JkSpencer2 @Patriots

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

3 months

@y2klrds Many Americans have worse diets tbh 😭

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

5 months

@gnosisle Acceptable answers: Hiking Rock climbing Skiing Surfing 10k The Eras Tour

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

1 year

@samswoora

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

2 months

@Benmsx That’s why I added fuck you

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

1 year

@maiamindel No reason to deny it. It’s a good series. Got a lot of kids to start reading too

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

6 months

@ryannovo62 Buc-ee’s is the new South of the Border

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

5 months

@m_booker1 spoken like a guy who doesn’t watch big east basketball

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

1 year

@sanpellyenjoyer @wildtiktokss Same with Chris Pratt. Always Andy

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

1 year

@waltlongmirin My old boss was an Indian IT guy, he basically led a coup and took over the Quant team. It was an impressive move tbh

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

6 months

@singlemomsn1per It’s because of “average age of credit” They want you to remain a slave

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

5 months

@PaulSkallas I lift in my basement naked

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

7 months

@AdamSchefter Rooney Rule interview

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

1 year

@elonmusk

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

6 months

@Y2K_mindset She could make me a leftist again

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

8 months

@jasrifootball He wears 13, it would be cool if he gets 13 consecutive 1000 yard seasons

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

1 year

@zephyr_on_call I have had my phone in dreams before, but it never actually works. Like I can’t type on it or make calls

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

7 months

@YZR_Fantasy @ChrisBBall75 If someone adds it to a parlay it becomes positive EV for the Sportsbook

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

5 months

Sure the Hillybilly Elegy stuff, LA scene and Berkeley culture is important But this region is the true key to understanding the US

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

6 months

@AB84 Uncle Tom got you a ring

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

2 years

@AdamSchefter If you’re going to clean house, clean house. They are just going to have to do this again when they fire Bowles next year.

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

4 months

@EdfKurisu @tulpapilled Speaking from experience unfortunately don’t fuck with Benadryl

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

10 months

@realRaegenhere It rains in America

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

2 years

@shoe0nhead I am highly trained in gorilla warfare

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

2 years

@coldhealing

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

2 months

@McDonalds @Brandon_MAQ Delete your account, you are embarrassing the proud McDonald’s name.

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

1 year

@animeboobs420 The YouTube algorithm and it’s consequences have been a disaster for the human race

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

4 months

@lindynap We had a lawyer try to bill us a 26 hour day once

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

2 years

@vocalcry For the first 4/5 of the time with that girl she is radically accepting of you and a lot of fun. Last 1/5 she decides you are the spawn of satan and destroys your life. Honestly it’s worth dating a girl like that at least once.

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

11 months

@smorgandev He clarified underneath getting chauffeured is okay

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

1 year

@p8stie A few days in Japan and Marie is already a femcel

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

3 months

I think the perfect wife job is private school teacher. You don't really want your wife teaching in the jungle that is public school. Let her be around rich kids all day. She'll be growing your network by meeting the parents.

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

10 months

@wasphyxiation Trick or Treat is very neighborhood dependent now. Everyone drives into the wealthy walkable neighborhoods.

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

3 months

🫡

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

5 months

If you want to sell tickets you need to have stuff girls can post on their Instagram story

Darren Rovell

@darrenrovell

5 months

New at @whitesox games: The Campfire Milkshake ($15) A 16 oz chocolate milkshake topped with graham crackers and toasted marshmallows. (📸 by @LevyRestaurants )

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

3 months

@coldhealing Trump still being president at the time of post makes this even more mysterious

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

6 months

@coldhealing They seem like great parents

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

1 year

@notes_wires I could see an argument the YA genre prevented youth from developing a taste for the classics

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

2 years

@Breaking911 I should make a map showing all congressional candidate who denied they results of 2016 election

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

5 months

@PopulismUpdates Connecticut referendum on joining New York vs the Republic of New England is going to be wild

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

2 months

@JayCuda They can if they make the playoffs

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

1 year

@Reuters NO LEAVE DIET COKE ALONE

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

1 year

@greentexts_bot He needs to change his bed sheets

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

6 months

@OstanniyCap @TuckerCarlson Who must go?

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

2 years

@molochofficial I want to explain this to out of staters: “Party pizza” is cheaper than normal pizza, and is a pretty good way to feed a large group of people. This stuff tastes good, but it’s not really meant as a substitute for normal pizza. We have normal pizza’s too 😂

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

8 months

@PaulSkallas At a certain follower count if you get cancelled you just have to lean into it. Sell out. Go on podcasts. Sell snake oil supplements If you don’t have many followers and get cancelled, probably your best option is to get a blue collar job with a Republican owner who won’t care

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

6 months

@GeeOhEnZeeOHHH @kylerrobbins You don’t know ball Georgia-Florida Florida-Florida State Oklahoma-Texas Texas-Texas Tech Texas-Texas A&M Old Miss-Mississippi Michigan-Michigan State Miami-FSU Georgia-Georgia Tech Oregon-Oregon State Kansas-Kansas State Colorado-Colorado State Army-Navy Harvard-Yale UCF-UConn

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

1 month

@bigtiddygothgf9 A pack a day is bad for you but a cheeky cig outside the bar is great for your health

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

1 year

@petronaitor @sanpellyenjoyer @wildtiktokss Parks and Rec, forgot the office also had an Andy

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

6 months

@UpdatingOnRome I’ve never heard a Bosnian talk about anything except Bosnia

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

1 month

@BreastMilkEnjyr It wasn’t supposed to be funny, it was supposed to be fun.

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

7 months

@BarnRatVapeGod Tavon Austin in search history… you know ball

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

4 months

@oceanblvdvinyl Pabst Blue Ribbon on ice

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

2 months

@Anabananaa089 Gay people are allowed to go to Texas Rangers games 😭

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

10 months

@UpdatingOnRome Sounds like he’s coping, Alexander is the GOAT

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

1 year

@AdamSchefter Aaron Rodgers is the best black quarterback of all time

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

4 months

R.I.P.

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@MatthiasReedV

2 months

@AltHistCody

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

6 months

@ChampagneAnyone As a Bruins fan I’ve been calling them that for years

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

1 year

@PopulismUpdates I think he could win if there was no incumbent

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

1 year

@OldMemeClown Paddington IN PERU!?!?!? 🇵🇪 I’m excited

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

5 months

@MarchMadnessMBB @UConnMBB @Aztec_MBB Round 3 silly

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@MatthiasReedV

9 months

@coldhealing State-mandated Gale-Shapely algorithm seating arrangements

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

2 months

@PaulSkallas Which country hates fat people the most? In Asia?

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

4 months

@robpalkwriter She hasn’t heard of Drake

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

6 months

@CokeSipper Yup

MLFootball

@_MLFootball

6 months

There are rumors that former #Patriots star WR Julian Edelman is dating 3x Grammy award-winning singer Shakira. (Via @TheSun )

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

1 year

@skooookum the average person wants to become healthier

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

3 months

@PaulSkallas I have a friend who used to ask me for help on his stats homework. He got a Big 4 accounting firm job. He got put on a PIP. I told him he has to start applying for a new job immediately.

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

11 months

This screenshot passed 10k likes The tweet would have broke records if he kept it up

Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

11 months

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

6 months

@CooperDoyle1 “I want both taxes and the national debt to go down”

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

2 years

@iluhyougod Every time I’ve been in relationship I’ve been told by others “you could do better”, in clear reference to appearance. I don’t know what this says about me.

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

5 months

@Y2K_mindset I’m thinking Oliver on guitar and chorus, girl on the verses

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

1 year

@default_friend

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

2 months

@JayCuda The Romans would have naval battles in the colosseum

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

4 months

Underrated road

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

1 year

@killmefam This would work if he used Eminem instead

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

4 months

@anpaure If she brings something like that up just say “yeah I do leetcode sometimes to practice for interview questions” she probably doesn’t want a boyfriend grinding leetcode all day anyways

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

2 months

@Tatums0Burner If Tatum plays that long, he will have a chance at becoming the number 1 career playoff point scorer.

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Matthias

@MatthiasReedV

9 months