Dead Men Tom @DeadMenTom Twitter profile

Pinned Tweet

Dead Men Tom

5 months

A few years ago I wrote a question on FB then edited it when all the answers were in. It will always be the thing I'm most proud of. (Replies are in comments 🧵)

106

613

10K

Last Seen Profiles

@_neozenith

@CHARGIE___

@MMW1147S13

@SpartaJustice

@smith_darlene74

@kook_jto9

@DawnDrawnS

@FunSizedThighs

@dhq_avali

@Naheemawan8

@marleen_stuhr

@BuuziVT

@U5ql8cqLEQ2f8IT

@naetoru_rs

@ashmjUBd7J1ebkz

@e_chaita

@WestM61

@MONKEY_200876

@kinenwaai

@jhernan83

@r19_felipe

@FuWindsword

@menhera_izon__

@CharmainBe30201

@mriakc

@Inoue654

@mgokhanersoy07

@Law_Program_IPA

@sofipp_02

@SGzUcpZpYmJOLHS

@WestM61

@dawg916819

@vanesac_69

@crispies_art

@yinjiangnb666

@BatoruFirudo_39

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

29 days

The alien from American Dad when he dresses as a human

BBC Breakfast

@BBCBreakfast

29 days

'No one has yet been able to explain to me why being older makes you better at the job' 22-year-old Sam Carling has been elected as a Labour MP for North West Cambridgeshire and spoke to #BBCBreakfast about being the youngest politician in the House of Commons

11K

1K

13K

66

785

21K

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

4 months

Can't believe he's dressed as batman and not deadpool

big duntles

@biglunty

4 months

might be late to the party but michael barrymore being really into fortnite has killed me

22

60

660

160

509

6K

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

3 months

If you can't trust Dean Windass for medical advice who can you trust?

Sidney

@364SID

3 months

Supreme CBD ambassador Dean Windass telling me it’s normal for me to sleep for 48 hours after taking a full pipette of 48000 strength (doesn’t exist) CBD oil. Your body will get used to it. FFS 🤦‍♂️

117

179

3K

28

178

4K

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

9 months

He normally forces his way in, rather than out

Transfer News Live

@DeadlineDayLive

9 months

🚨 Thomas Partey is growing frustrated with his limited Arsenal role this season and could consider an exit in January. (Source: Sky Sports)

1K

403

8K

16

86

3K

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

2 months

Poor kids are now from broken Holmes

sᴜᴘᴇʀ ᴛᴠ

@superTV247

2 months

Eamonn Holmes and Ruth Langsford are getting a divorce

167

86

2K

9

23

1K

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

5 months

2

744

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

5 months

8

1

572

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

5 months

3

1

420

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

5 months

Out of #respect for Kate having cancer I'll be flying my flag at half mast today

4

18

380

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

9 months

Froze to death. Could have done with another coat.

LADbible

@ladbible

9 months

🚨| Viral grandad who ate paint thinking it was yoghurt has died Read more 👇

52

18

328

3

19

349

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

11 months

I'm going to the hospital, and if they make me better, they win £20

Freddy Quinne

@FreddyQuinne

11 months

Deadline day transfer! After a week of intense negotiations Freddy Quinne is off to Hospital FC - HERE WE GOOOO

115

3

264

17

13

321

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

1 year

Oh that is an unfortunate typo.

3

9

310

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

5 months

2

314

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

5 months

@ReallyNiceDerek I just love chaos.

3

1

291

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

1 year

Got married. Got a crisp wall.

35

5

269

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

1 year

It's missing something but I can't quite put my finger on what🤔🏊‍♂️

14

5

215

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

5 months

2

3

217

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

7 months

Got a serious Christmas card for my wife this year as it's the first one as a married couple. She went for a different vibe.

6

14

214

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

11 months

This isn't to help with the pneumonia, it's to stop him eating

Dead Men Talking

@DeadMenTalkPod

11 months

Minions 2: Rise of BMI

97

14

795

7

9

188

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

1 year

Supposed to record 2 YouTube eps of a new show today. Did one and got smashed. Great start

14

1

171

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

2 years

@thatvittorio Quite irresponsible to have a pool with a kid who can't swim as well.

3

1

170

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

2 months

Please represent yourself please represent yourself please represent yourself please represent yourself please represent yourself please represent yourself please represent yourself please represent yourself please represent yourself

DiscussingFilm

@DiscussingFilm

2 months

The real-life Martha from ‘BABY REINDEER’ has filed a lawsuit against Netflix, seeking at least $170M in damages. (Source: )

627

1K

27K

2

5

169

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

2 years

Filmed something with @JamieHComedy this week and he seemed to really enjoy himself.

15

4

161

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

3 months

I used to work on Jeremy Kyle and this makes me go urrghhhh might be a bit out order this one lads

Piers Morgan

@piersmorgan

3 months

*WORLD EXCLUSIVE* The real-life Martha from Baby Reindeer breaks cover and gives me her first TV interview about the smash hit Netflix show. Fiona Harvey wants to have her say & ‘set the record straight.’ Is she a psycho stalker? Find out tomorrow on ⁦ @PiersUncensored ⁩

2K

18K

14

3

158

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

1 year

Think we may have got a bit giddy on the train cans

20

0

135

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

18 days

Got to respect this level of cheek

Sky News

@SkyNews

18 days

BREAKING: The mother of British teenager Jay Slater who was found dead on holiday in Tenerife has asked for more donations to help give him "the send-off he deserves" ⬇️ Read more

2K

121

1K

4

3

122

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

22 days

As if this is how I found out

JEDWARD

@planetjedward

22 days

Donald trump got shot

96

602

3K

0

2

114

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

5 months

Go and see him before he dies

Freddy Quinne

@FreddyQuinne

5 months

TICKETS FOR MY TOUR NOW AVAILABLE 🚨 My debut show “In Sickness” is going to 20 different venues across the UK and Ireland. It’s a brand new hour of comedy from me, same depraved filth. I’ve kept the ticket prices stupidly low cause I just care about doing it in front of packed

28

50

386

4

3

106

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

3 months

Richard Gadd: We've done everything to disguise Martha, she wouldn't even recognise herself Richard Gadd last year: Let's cast someone who looks just like her

11

7

100

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

8 days

Didn't take any photos yesterday but got a lasting reminder of the day

8

2

102

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

8 days

That was one of the best days of my life. Let's do it bigger next year.

5

3

96

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

3 months

Maybe don't put up an external photo of this one lads

6

4

94

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

10 months

I love everything about this

Bobby Mair

@BobbyMair

10 months

Revenge is best served cold ten years later

210

896

9K

1

95

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

27 days

Absolutely inundated with new followers after this viral tweet

8

2

91

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

9 months

Suppose that means I'm the only fun one left on the pod then

Freddy Quinne

@FreddyQuinne

9 months

Had an appointment with a cardiologist today. Turns out I drunk so much alcohol that I have given myself heart failure. Need to do six months to a year of no drinking minimum for my heart to recover.

57

0

358

6

0

91

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

3 months

Looks like what Top Cat eats out of the bin

Thomas Skinner ⚒

@iamtomskinner

3 months

Dinner time in the Skinner house! And I’ve cooked a lovely bit of rainbow trout cooked in garlic lemon & butter for everyone! The baby twins are trying it tonight for the 1st run. Fingers crossed they love it as much as I do! Bosh❤️

839

42

1K

1

82

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

1 year

It's a beautiful thing. People who buy crisps in the pub and don't share should be asked to leave.

Nooruddean

@BeardedGenius

1 year

Love how charmed this fella is by the torn open packet of crisps in a pub for everyone to share

234

746

8K

4

7

78

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

7 months

@DeadMenTalkPod You're fat. Or you've got no dad. Not sure who wrote this.

0

79

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

6 days

Imagine running a business with this man.

Captain Bendy

@robmulholland

6 days

A lot of comedians panic for months about every detail of their Edinburgh show. I asked my designer to make me a poster an hour ago. The fringe is in 3 days. We are not the same.

5

0

77

4

0

81

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

2 years

I don't know anything about boxing but I do know a thing or two about Freddy, so as soon as I read this I bet Smith at 8/1

Freddy Quinne

@FreddyQuinne

2 years

Fully expect Eubank to have too much class for Smith. Will manage the fight with his jab and win on points. Liam Smith will give one of those "tried really hard and never gave up but was never really in it" type performances

26

1

31

1

0

76

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

1 year

Yesterday I filmed a podcast with Pritchard from Dirty Sanchez and today I filmed some content for porn stars. If United sign me tomorrow then teenage me has somehow hacked the matrix.

5

0

75

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

11 months

It's my one year anniversary on dead men today. Think my favourite bit was the worst dick competition, closely followed by being blocked by Michael Barrymore.

7

1

73

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

1 month

Can't believe I forgot to vote. Just been mindlessly scrolling on social media all day and it slipped my mind.

5

4

75

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

8 months

Jacy, LPC

@ATMwithJacy

8 months

BRAG ABOUT SOMETHING YOU’RE PROUD OF ACCOMPLISHING IN 2023 ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

1K

473

6K

3

0

74

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

1 year

To grass is one thing, but to go fesshole about it is unforgivable. Reveal yourself you rat.

4

2

72

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

5 months

First official half marathon. That was fucking solid.

8

0

74

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

1 year

Nothing more iconic than a line of lemsip

No Context Brits

@NoContextBrits

1 year

What’s the most iconic line in British television history?

4K

89

2K

1

6

71

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

1 year

I've just watched the first cut of the stag do special. Imagine being tortured for two days, embarrassing yourself constantly and then having to watch it back so it can go on the internet. This is the stupidest thing I've ever done, but you're going to love it.

3

2

69

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

12 days

Jaws all over the place

Sky News

@SkyNews

13 days

Sharks in waters off the coast of Brazil have tested positive for cocaine, scientists say Full story 🔗

400

790

6K

3

4

70

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

1 year

Not sure how to take this comment.

8

0

68

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

1 year

Been sent a bouquet of crisps 😍 Thanks @RebIsReb

8

0

68

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

9 months

😂😂😂

Rob Dlubak

@robdlubak

9 months

@mcOOey @crispsessions @WorldAroundEwe @DeadMenTalkPod @DeadMenTom @JamieHComedy When she sucks so good she blows your cartoon hat off

3

6

50

0

3

68

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

6 months

When Fergie retired I was devastated, so I can understand how Liverpool fans feel today. And I won't stop laughing all fucking day.

2

4

69

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

6 months

Can we invite him on the pod? It can be my birthday AND my Christmas present

Freddy Quinne

@FreddyQuinne

6 months

Alastair is so rattled 😂😂

30

0

99

6

0

66

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

10 months

Bit of a different episode today. Hopefully everyone doesn't hate me after this.

Dead Men Talking

@DeadMenTalkPod

10 months

TV producer reveals what it was like working on The Jeremy Kyle Show New episode out now.

3

11

100

10

3

62

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

2 years

@GMB You should never judge people on how they talk or what they look like 😡 This so called 'comedian' should know better than that!

2

0

62

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

5 months

The real symbol of Englishness

2

61

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

6 months

I never knew @nakedmartinuk did jigsaws

Marcus Rashford

@MarcusRashford

6 months

A few people have asked me about the jigsaw that I have been working on. If someone can correctly guess which puzzle it is, I will reward them with two tickets to an upcoming game at OT vs Fulham. Good luck! ✌️🏾

13K

4K

65K

0

2

62

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

5 months

FOUR EPISODES.

6

0

59

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

11 months

Might sell this as merch if he dies

My Dad Has A Podcast

@DadHasAPodcast

11 months

Soon my babies, you time will be soon @FreddyQuinne @robmulholland @DeadMenTom @DeadMenTalkPod Check out the latest patreon episode for just £3 an month or the 7 day free trail because youll deffinatly remember to cancel.

4

7

40

4

0

58

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

4 months

Should see all the helipads in his honour

3

56

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

1 year

I just filmed this with Freddy. We shot for 2 hours and spent £600 in burgers before he was happy with it.

Freddy Quinne

@FreddyQuinne

1 year

11

1

42

6

0

58

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

1 year

New Glastonbury flag sorted

0

3

54

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

2 months

When you get a hair transplant on klarna

3

2

53

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

11 months

We're only just getting started

Dead Men Talking

@DeadMenTalkPod

11 months

1m views on YouTube.

3

6

113

3

2

56

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

9 months

Someone's cut this new speed camera down near my house and it's really cheered me up

4

1

54

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

9 months

Football isn't as good as it used to be

Ohio.

@OhioV1

9 months

Good morning, here’s some Barclay’s heritage for you.

148

1K

9K

4

3

55

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

10 months

@thecultraspod Ricky Lambert

0

2

52

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

1 month

Freddy never leaves a game early. Never arrives late. Never arrives at all actually, just to be safe.

Freddy Quinne

@FreddyQuinne

1 month

I will never understand this. What, you got somewhere important to be in Gelsenkirken have you lads?

102

287

20K

1

53

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

2 months

They actually voted to get rid of it but after 25 recounts from different angles in slow motion it turns out they'd voted to keep it

Football on TNT Sports

@footballontnt

2 months

Premier League clubs have voted 19-1 in favour of keeping VAR 🗳️ Wolves were the only club to back their motion.

248

210

4K

3

2

49

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

2 years

I'm not in today's episode but nice to see I'm missed

2

0

47

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

1 year

Full metal jacket fans know

9

0

49

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

10 days

What a line up

Dead Men Talking

@DeadMenTalkPod

10 days

💀DEADMEET 24 SET TIMES 💀 @fradimeuk

13

108

3

2

49

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

1 year

Chilled me right to the core.

Talk

@TalkTV

1 year

The chilling moment a car drove into the gates of Downing Street in London.

3K

132

1K

14

2

46

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

5 months

Been going Old Trafford for 30 years and that's the best game I've ever seen there

3

0

48

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

5 months

These gypsy call out videos aren't as good as they used to be

Joe

@joeefoster

5 months

Gemma Collins’ insta story last night is too much. Jedward mewing the camera whilst dragging Louis. Gemma splashing herself with water and making it known she cooked a roast for the boys. The inspirational quotes. The hot tub. The hunt for the 5 mill. Namaste 😭 #CBBUK

29

124

2K

4

0

47

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

1 year

I've written and deleted a lot of responses to morons today. Can't be arsed with arguing but also really want to

10

0

44

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

1 year

What we just made tonight on the budget we had...wow. Thank you x

10

3

43

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

7 months

@elliotsteelcom @JamieHComedy @FreddyQuinne @adamrowecomedy @Haveawordpod I wouldn't give Freddy the all clear to survive a game of scrabble, never mind boxing

1

0

44

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

1 year

@SenseiCarl_ I told my cousin it only worked on the back and he ruined his game

1

0

46

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

2 years

@FreddyQuinne @DeadMenTalkPod This is how Rob shouts at me when I fuck up

1

0

45

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

11 months

Very happy with the new studio / other end of the same room

The Crisp Sessions

@crispsessions

11 months

First two episodes of S2 recorded. Twice as much nonsense for this series.

4

3

68

3

0

45

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

27 days

@FreddyQuinne I think they'd regret offering you that free breakfast

1

0

44

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

1 year

If you enjoy bullying, torture and watching people degrade themselves, you are going to love the next special. Now I'm just off for a little cry.

4

1

42

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

6 months

VfL Wolfsburg EN/US 🇬🇧 🇺🇸

@VfLWolfsburg_EN

6 months

Welcome! 👋 Janina #Minge signs for VfL Women ✍️ The 24-year-old will join Wolfsburg in the summer on a free transfer from Freiburg. 🤝 More info ➡️

379

516

1K

5

1

40

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

2 months

Now all we have to do is not fuck it up

Dead Men Talking

@DeadMenTalkPod

2 months

💀🚨 #DeadMeet is now SOLD OUT! 🚨💀 See you on July 27th for the comedy event of 2024 💀

1

2

32

4

0

40

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

1 year

@JamieHComedy Get some chips and you've got a decent dip fest there

4

1

37

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

1 year

See if they'll stick taskbastard on

Mick Ferry

@MickFerry

1 year

What a universe we live in. I’m in the Vyne Theatre in Berkhamsted. It’s a lovely venue on an industrial estate. And a member of staff has got @Haveawordpod on a loop for the customers in the bar.

2

7

239

1

37

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

4 months

@fionnviteza It's great advice. I'd also recommend becoming mates with them just as success starts to bloom and riding those coat tails as long as you can based on a shared interest in snacks

4

0

38

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

1 year

If Jamie's life was filmed like the Truman show nobody would watch anything else, ever. Society would collapse.

Dead Men Talking

@DeadMenTalkPod

1 year

Jamie Hutchinson was far too close to his Nan😳

7

6

97

0

1

39

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

8 months

LL Cool Gay (cos he's gay)

Dead Men Talking

@DeadMenTalkPod

8 months

What should @FreddyQuinne 's rapper name be?

128

1

22

6

0

38

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

12 days

Dressage should be banned because it's boring. Do it on a different animal every Olympics. This year giraffes. Kangaroos in 2028. Dolphins in 32. Everyone on earth would watch that

7

0

39

Dead Men Tom

@DeadMenTom

2 years

We've been running a world's worst dick competition and had three people enter with a pic. One of them asked for some free merch, so I sent him a mug with a picture of his own dick on it 🤣🤣🤣