Now that I wear a Garmin I get so much respect. Other runners smack my ass (respectfully) when I pass. At the gym ppl go “after you, I insist”. When I’m stressed at work I say “my heart rate is in zone 4 I’m literally at threshold” and my boss says “girl.. I’m givin you a raise!”
The only thing that motivates me to run is mental illness so idk if I ever want to get better. Heart hurts but heart also strongest its ever been. Real Dilemma by Kelly Rowland and Nelly situation…
Can everyone please leave me alone but, like, never leave me alone and pay very close attention to me and love me very much but also, like, leave me alone?
if this is true how come my landlord's agent Bob Bracken told me I'm being unreasonable and "causing problems" when I said I don't want him to run an open house in my apartment tomorrow?
Promoters for big companies (i.e. bluepr*nt, m*g) are WILD. We ask a basic question and get a rude one liner response from some ding dong who’s trying to get us to sell tickets to a show they’re literally being paid to promote after offering us a tiny $ guarantee. Fucked!!!!
Thinking of the nurses who helped my Nanay learn how to use the dumb phone I brought her so we can talk while she’s isolated in hospital and how they should be making a billion dollars a year, also I’m crying
We're very excited to be putting out a record for
@wearenecking
🎂 'Cut Your Teeth' is out worldwide July 5th.
@exclaimdotca
just shared the ferocious first single "Big Mouth" 🎂 listen now:
Yesterday I shot a music vid with my band and today I spent like 6 hours looking at the same spreadsheet at my university admin job. That’s show biz baby!!!
Once my ex did a stand-up bit about how all girlfriends do is cry and make you visit their parents, then he cried on the drive home because he thought I was mad about it. It was actually very funny. The drive home I mean, not the joke.
this year was weird but at least the guy I rent parking from texted me happy new year right at midnight!!! He has a family but do u think he wants to date me? I am ready to risk it all. 2021 baby!!!!!!!
Yes, I was trapped in the corner of a restaurant when my ex and his entire family came in and yes, I immediately ran out and yes, I accidentally hit his grandma in the head with my bag and yelled sorry without looking back, and yes, this moment will haunt me until the day I die.
You should be able to take a leave from work when you’re falling in love. I should be laying in tall grass writing a poem or some shit, not in an office dealing with a fucko who keeps calling me Michelle.
My upstairs neighbours stomp and stomp and also wear boots in the house half the time. And they have a giant dog that barks and makes Clementine go nuts. But I have a soft spot for them because my heart is too forgiving & they make me feel less alone. They’re hot too.
white people working in a minimalist yuppie coffee shop in the DTES asking for “reparations” with the audacity to say the coffee shop guy is tone deaf???? You gotta laugh
if like me you’re feeling especially alone right now..idk I have no advice. Sucks. Drinking doesn’t help, watching the classic film Crazy, Stupid, Love twice in a row doesn’t help, read? no thx (BA eng lit btw and I’m over it), do not tell me to meditate as I refuse to be present
water is like the oldest beverage ever and somehow has no nickname. no one is ever like "sure could go for a cup of that clear" or whatever. huge oversight imo
Didn’t think it was possible for anyone past the age of 16 to be moved by the song There is a Light That Never Goes Out but here I am... I want to see people and I want to see life... Bitch
boyfriends making dinner are like hmmm guess I have to cook each ingredient separately, one at a time, despite the fact that my beautiful perfect girlfriend has many pots and pans and four burners on the stove!! dinner will be ready in 5 hours!!!
Stop being a coward
@netflix
and add the real genres: angry just like you, romantic revenge stories, horror (loud), horror (quiet), there’s a goat in this, not much happens but makes you feel like a person who knows film, comedy-ish.
cute that my stepdad taught my how to act when a man tucks me into a chair or whatever you call it. Like when you half sit but a dude pushes the chair in for you. Has never happened to me once but good to know I know how to squat like a lady should some psycho freak do it someday
what they don’t tell you about grad school is you’re gonna have to do a lot of group projects with some of the stupidest people you’ve ever met in your life (moi)
what’s the power move to make when you invite someone to your show and they say they’re busy because they’re going to a show, not knowing it’s the same show you’re playing? Not sure!!! But I think we’ll write a song about it.
when beautiful white women cry alone, small birds fly in and wipe her tears, dress her, tie her hair up in a bow. if only lana opened a window instead of her typewriter app :(
this absolute ding dong told me that he doesn't believe the "hype" around the virus and demanded that I "show him the data" to back up why it's a bad idea to let a ton of people into my 300 sq ft apartment at one time while I'm in self-quarantine?!???!!!!!! c'est QUOI??!?!??!!!
Caught my creepy upstairs neighbour at the laundromat reading Jordan Peterson. Much worse than my fear of getting caught in the middle of a cute indie band photoshoot at the laundromat. I think.
every day my boyfriend makes references I do not understand, everyday I nod and laugh, I never ask, we just move on. Life doesn’t stop for anyone or for your weird references, Graeme
Guy at bar says he thinks he saw our band but isn't sure because he couldn't see the stage and "all lady bands sound the same." Wow!!! Men continue to impress me!!!!!!