three jeans @moongrudge Twitter profile

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three jeans

@moongrudge

1 year

i found your grandma’s sauce

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@moongrudge

9 months

update: the cactus has decided to double down. looks unbelievably stupid. ruining my life.

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@moongrudge

1 year

ok this started out so sweet but it’s no longer cute, my cactus looks dumb as fuck. this is out of control

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@moongrudge

5 years

why is there a video on bernie’s instagram of him doing a really bad job pulling out of a driveway

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@moongrudge

4 months

buccal fat removal, rhinoplasty, brow lift, botox

Trey the Explainer

@Trey_Explainer

2 years

Everybody talks about Obi Wan aging between movies. Nobody talks about my man Kit. The Clone Wars changed him.

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@moongrudge

2 months

back in october november they’d have literally said this is a hamas computer or something equally inscrutable and insane. now they just do it and don’t pretend like it’s anything other than what it is

Younis Tirawi | يونس

@ytirawi

2 months

An Israeli soldier smashing an ultrasound machine at Gaza’s only Cancer Hospital, which the Israeli military is currently using as a headquarters.

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@moongrudge

2 months

99% of 14k is so fucking raw

More Perfect Union

@MorePerfectUS

2 months

Disneyland workers have authorized a strike by 99%. Over 14,000 workers are ready to walk out over Disney's unfair labor practices. And now union leadership has the authority to call this major strike.

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@moongrudge

8 months

why do they have to say it like this. like it’s my official pervert credentials

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@moongrudge

3 years

do u know how fuckin humiliating it is to watch your tv remote rolling around a commercial washing machine at the laundromat

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@moongrudge

8 months

looking at people’s faces immediately after they bowl, when they turn around and start walking away from the lane, is the closest we get to looking the human condition in the eye

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@moongrudge

5 years

okay i guess we need to have a talk about mike illitch again. i’ll try to keep this short

Zack Bornstein

@ZackBornstein

5 years

There are two different ways to make pizza

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@moongrudge

6 years

if 1 more person comes to my home and leaves 3–6 like sierra nevada IPAs or whatever the hell in my fridge i'm gonna lose it. don't bother leaving that in my fridge like ur doing me a favor. all that is is another THING i gotta deal with. like now it's MY problem

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@moongrudge

1 year

ok this started out so sweet but it’s no longer cute, my cactus looks dumb as fuck. this is out of control

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@moongrudge

6 years

everyone is pissed at me for saying i think gumby looks like he'd be good to eat

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@moongrudge

3 months

why does my garbage truck say this

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@moongrudge

2 months

god this is so real

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@moongrudge

3 months

she needs at least one millennial in her life to show her a picture of DFW because this is getting crazy

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@moongrudge

5 years

apparently a real thing that’s happening to me right now is my landlord shut off the gas/hot water to our apartment out of spite because he’s in love with my roommate and saw her with a guy yesterday

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@moongrudge

5 years

until julianne moore shows up in a marvel movie with her titties out, the marvel movies are for children

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@moongrudge

7 years

the best and most michigan picture i've ever taken has resurfaced

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@moongrudge

6 years

for years, many have doubted me.....

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@moongrudge

9 months

@discountgourds lol yours looks like it’s sitting in front of a fan and the fan is blowing its hair 🥹

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@moongrudge

13 days

my dad just told me he accidentally had four cheeseburgers today. that’s one of the craziest things anyone has ever said to me

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@moongrudge

1 year

i’m laughing so hard at how stupid it looks

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@moongrudge

4 years

jirby

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@moongrudge

9 months

@snoutwife yeah i figured :/ will do my best to rectify

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@moongrudge

5 years

im laughing so hard at this. i’ve watched it 30+ times now

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@moongrudge

8 months

i’m gonna be real. brown rice is fucking heinous. i can’t do it anymore dude. i’m prepared to risk it all for a white rice lifestyle.

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@moongrudge

5 years

mike illitch was a billionaire, his family is a billionaire family, and they have the city of detroit and its people and its children in a chokehold. he was not a savior of anyone. and by the way:

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@moongrudge

5 years

mike illitch promised to develop 50 blocks surrounding his sports arena in detroit after receiving $324 million in detroit taxpayer funds to build said arena. none of it has happened

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@moongrudge

5 years

it is really hard to watch. watch it anyway if you can. this is what’s going on in detroit and anywhere else that allows corporations to publicly subsidize sports arenas.

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@moongrudge

5 years

currently there are almost 150 illitch-owned properties in the city of detroit that are uninhabitable, undeveloped, and being left to rot. bought for almost nothing by illitch and they remain undeveloped because keeping large areas of detroit destitute means low property value

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@moongrudge

5 years

it wasn’t so long ago that decorative bottles of oil-infused peppers, olives, and beans were the last word on kitchen aesthetics. we loved adorning our cabinetry and sills with them, standing back and looking at the chic thing we had done. devilish smiles creeping onto our faces

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@moongrudge

2 years

waking into sephora:

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@moongrudge

1 year

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@moongrudge

2 months

shout out to these organizers because that’s crazy for real. they should be so proud, what an accomplishment

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@moongrudge

5 years

it means that family owns a huge chunk of the city and as their properties rot, they can buy up the properties next to the rotting properties they already own, and continue to make promises to the city that they’ll do something with it all

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@moongrudge

3 years

update: not only does the remote still work, i put these two batteries back into the remote and they still work as well.

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@moongrudge

8 months

Dylan

@PowellAnalytics

8 months

If there were a “Sports Twitter” Hall of Fame, honoring the best sports-related tweets of all time, what would be your nominee?

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@moongrudge

6 years

received this work email containing a numbered list of instructions for something. h elp

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@moongrudge

6 years

there is no drinking an ipa. there is only getting rid of an ipa by drinking it

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@moongrudge

3 months

was **** last night and got pretty caught up thinking about how graham crackers are made. it seemed to me they’d have to be made using graham cracker crumbs. you can imagine the mc escher type of intellectual prison i had trapped myself in

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@moongrudge

5 years

How the Ilitches used 'dereliction by design' to get their new Detroit arena

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@moongrudge

7 years

whenever i mention my roommate who fucked a guy for a year and didn't know he had one eye the whole time because he always wore sunglasses even during sex, people beg me to say more about her. let's see...

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@moongrudge

5 years

where are you sitting?

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@moongrudge

4 years

the bucks, and any team that refuses to play until we see justice, are striking, not boycotting. they’re workers on strike. they aren’t boycotting the nba; they’re withholding their labor. it rules. we support them.

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@moongrudge

7 years

every time i walk out of my apt......is she kidding me

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@moongrudge

7 years

it's not.....look you can kiss your dad on the lips. but not long. never long. [seinfeld voice] it's not the location, it's the duration!!!!!!

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@moongrudge

5 years

Ilitches linked to 147 unused Detroit properties

An examination of the properties in the heart of Detroit linked to the Ilitch organizations reveals a long history of keeping properties idle

www.detroitnews.com

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@moongrudge

8 months

it’s so vulnerable that i can barely stand it

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@moongrudge

5 months

CA High-Speed Rail 🚄💨

@CaHSRA

5 months

The Fresno River Viaduct in Madera County is one of the first completed high-speed rail structures. At nearly 1,600 feet long, high-speed trains will travel over the riverbed and will run parallel with the BNSF Railroad. #BuildHSR

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@moongrudge

3 years

this is the lowest moment of my life

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@moongrudge

7 years

it's my favorite day of the season. when a big italian nyc fire marshall comes into the office to talk to us about building disasters and says things like "carbon monoxide: da ultimate killin' machine"

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@moongrudge

3 years

i’m absolutely speechless. just trash picked this lamp, took it in and cleaned it and replaced the bulbs……it’s the most beautiful lamp i’ve ever seen. a christmas eve gift 🥀

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@moongrudge

2 years

congrats to the CIA on its first “official” podcast

CIA

@CIA

2 years

(tap tap tap) Is this thing on? 🎙️ The Langley Files, #CIA 's official podcast, episode 1 is now available! Listen to CIA Director William J. Burns bring #CIA out of the shadows as we celebrate our 75th year of serving the nation. #TheLangleyFiles #CIA75

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@moongrudge

4 years

hell no

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@moongrudge

6 years

bee

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@moongrudge

4 months

jason kidd looks like he makes youtube videos about negative reinforcement dog training

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@moongrudge

7 years

"oop, 1 o'clock...gotta take my pills..."

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@moongrudge

1 year

please help me

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@moongrudge

5 years

here’s me doing “navy wife standing on a dock and waving her handkerchief in the air at her husband who’s leaving for duty on a big ship but the handkerchief is a fruit roll up”

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@moongrudge

6 years

re: hardwick. yeah fuck him, forever. but qualifying ur anger at him w/ things like "figures the host of those shitty talk shows would do this" is not cool. it minimizes the actual bad things he's done + it needlessly compares ur own irrelevant experience w/ him to the victim's

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@moongrudge

3 years

i’m like sitting here peacefully watching my bedding spin around in the machine. all of a sudden i see a battery rolling around in there. and then it started to dawn on me “my whole entire tv remote is in there isn’t it”

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@moongrudge

5 years

this is the explanation i have received , honestly an easy pill to swallow as i made peace with my life being ridiculous and insanely annoying months ago

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@moongrudge

5 years

would love to show you guys my landlord’s response to my roommate’s repeated texts between 5:30pm–11:30pm asking him to turn our hot water back on, because it is the most deeply chilling and psychotic thing i’ve ever read, but this seems to be turning into an actual legal thing

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@moongrudge

5 years

HPD came by to inspect and tell us our rights. this is, of course, extremely illegal lol.

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@moongrudge

3 years

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@moongrudge

1 year

every once in a while, we need to remember

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@moongrudge

5 years

game of thrones isn’t a good show, it’s truly middle of the road, and we knew that for sure when last season that man said he’d thought up the perfect dragon-killing machine and it was just a giant gun

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@moongrudge

9 months

@legendofchelda i do! i was just hoping for a wider baby

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@moongrudge

3 months

i wish i could give my cat a thousand dollars. but she doesn’t know what that is

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@moongrudge

6 months

when i was younger i used to fantasize about having a pneumatic tube system in my house. like they had at the bank. i associated a private pneumatic tube system with wealth and cutting edge elegance. that’s so fuckin funny

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@moongrudge

7 years

i refuse to make a judgement call on the long kiss. but i'm fucking dying at this.

Ashley Feinberg (ashleyfeinberg.bsky.social)

@ashleyfeinberg

7 years

why is literally everyone on twitter not talking about this rn this i what this website was explicitly built for

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@moongrudge

7 years

i just told jem that she needs an attitude adjustment

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@moongrudge

4 years

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@moongrudge

5 years

please if anyone reading this can advise me seriously on what action we should be taking immediately, right now today (we’re both planning on moving out at the end of the month if not sooner, so that is that) can you dm me

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@moongrudge

6 years

ok. but i didn't decide shit lol

Fast Co. Impact

@FastCoImpact

6 years

Millennials are now the largest demographic in the American workforce, and they’re increasingly deciding to freelance: 42% now freelance, up from 38% in 2014.

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@moongrudge

9 months

@rosadona holy cow! these are so amazing!!!!! the consensus seems to be that i need to cut and repot

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@moongrudge

5 years

this is where we went wrong. we shouldn’t have let this happen. if i had a time machine you better believe i’d go back and stop this

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@moongrudge

3 years

he already facetimed rip 😭

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@moongrudge

6 years

@alexqarbuckle @rachelmillman yeah but what about when you said "yall mind if i mock" and then fell through that hammock

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@moongrudge

5 years

thank you for all of the dms and advice, all of it has been extremely helpful ✊—please no more though lol thank you!!! no more dms thank you

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@moongrudge

8 months

@glaivemaster69 so fuckin funny and also devastates me and makes me need to take a beat to gather myself so i don’t cry

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@moongrudge

1 year

it’s meg white’s house lol of course it is

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@moongrudge

1 year

these are permanent fixtures in this yard around the block from me. been there since i moved in march. not halloween decorations, the skeletons just live there

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@moongrudge

5 years

stepped outside cuz i smelled 2 farts. n a girl outside said “omg his farts smell so bad” and i said “omg i smelled it too it was so bad!!!” cuz i did smell it that’s why i stepped outside n she said “um that’s my husband.” then walked away. i can’t catch a fucken break man

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@moongrudge

5 years

exclusively referring to eating yogurt as "on my gut shit" and "getting my gut" and "gutting" and "getting my gut right"

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@moongrudge

6 months

yeah bout 6 months ago my mom started sending me AI pictures of animals she thinks are real. her fb page looks like a fantastic beats and where to find them wiki

Chris Fallsikkan

@AlsikkanTV

6 months

briefly looked at my mom’s facebook and it’s all AI, like every single post, and she has no idea, it’s a complete wasteland

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@moongrudge

1 year

@cowboyparable well i bought it from the shop, put it in this pot with some new soil, and then i didn’t touch it at all for 6 months

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@moongrudge

6 years

congrats to my friend, burger king, on the launch of their new menu item: pretzel chicken fries. insane. i will NEVER stop being impressed with bk's COURAGE and COMMITMENT to taking risks and putting f*cked up sh*t that tastes great on their menu!!!!!!!

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@moongrudge

8 months

has anyone else noticed that clementines are becoming different

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@moongrudge

7 years

how many jeans were killed to make these jeans

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@moongrudge

7 months

guy on my plane a few seats in front of me was watching halo. he kept fidgeting and losing interest every time there were humans talking and stuff onscreen. but every time an alien showed up he’d sit up real straight in his seat, right back in it

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@moongrudge

4 years

?????

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@moongrudge

6 years

god forbid any of you demons drink an amber

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@moongrudge

2 years

sheed was getting Ts just from looking at refs 😂

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@moongrudge

5 years

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@moongrudge

4 years

i love to tweet “dragon ball z is a computer game about a world where men and bugs violently coexist” and immediately lose 20–30 followers for it

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@moongrudge

8 months

brown rice betrays the promise of comfort from a bowl of rice in a way that makes me want to throw a vase at a mirror

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@moongrudge

6 years

they said "lauern stop always tweeting about how chicken fries are the best food and how they're actually nutritious n always asking if mcdonald's serves bk chicken fries and talking about how the bouquet at your wedding is gonna be a fistful of chicken fries" well jokes on you

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