Katrina Davis @katrinasivad Twitter profile

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Katrina Davis

2 years

My comedy special Figuring It Out is available for streaming and my dad bowled a perfect 300 game. This is a big day for my family.

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Last Seen Profiles

@VOCES8

@mytbrisgrowing

@cbocc616

@victoriabuzzes

@bokeplokalmalam

@tamtam2cv

@id70ar

@underrworId

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@ikryduringsex

@wtam_mtr

@kikuragepokemon

@kikm0003

@marwah_w

@kumanou22

@jessica_pomps

@IAF_1

@ioio_mf

@Root_root2001

@Prasad_Darling

@marzipanlord

@_yejihwang00

@ChicasBellasMTY

@iluvstudlybrad

@enes_dev

@JTMessinger

@STFX_IO

@ilsorareema

@EditBreexy

@LaudleDaudle

@JulieGMinistry

@beautaeful_kook

@sotonami

@stw_pdg

Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

10 months

I waved at a mean teen in the mall because I thought she was my friend and when she got closer she was like “Why are you waving, loser?” And I said “Oh sorry, you look 28.”

Josh Gondelman

@joshgondelman

10 months

If you see someone who looks enough like your friend that y out wave to them, they should have to tell you how their day is going.

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

1 year

My boyfriend telling me to he’s going to the other open cashier at Whole Foods so we can see which line moves faster.

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@mistergeezy

1 year

I want this relationship.

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

9 months

My boyfriend got upset with me for not using the Dunkin’ Donuts app because I buy so many donuts I’m “leaving money on the table.”

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

4 years

@asmthz @vodkaoatmilk @ariasandtoes Is that Aubrey Plaza on the right taking in this whole situation?

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

4 years

@AmySilverberg I brought home an abstinence pledge in 7th grade and my mom said “This doesn’t seem realistic.”

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

2 years

We need a Home Improvement spin-off where Haley Joel Osment plays Al Borland’s son.

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

2 years

There’s a woman in my building that screams at the people she lives with at the TOP of her lungs from the hallway nearly every day, and this morning I led my hallway in an 8:25AM revolt against her…

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

3 years

@20KYLIES @leanwdafanta The peace on his face is the funniest thing about this

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

2 years

Anyway I wanna go back to bed, but I’m all hopped up on the spontaneous power of community. Stand up for each other and don’t be silent, even for the little stuff.

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

3 years

People joke about it, but it’s really not fun losing people in your life to thoughts and opinions so misaligned with your own you feel nauseous.

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

1 year

I’m starting to think the cultural norm of “it’s rude to talk about money” was created so rich people could hide how much they’re underpaying the rest of us.

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

1 year

@saraschaefer1 I had to provide 3 months of bank statements to move down the hall in the same building during the pandemic.

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

2 years

We’re all yelling “You do this EVERY DAY!” “Stop screaming at your kids!” My entire half of the hallway has had enough. She finally stopped and I told her to “Learn an inside voice” as we all peeled off back to bed, telling each other to have a good morning.

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

4 years

@alexscordelis My mom leaned into this so hard, she convinced me that my dad actually dated Chaka Khan as a child. ✨

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

3 years

@sunnbloom @eggshellfriend I can’t eat all these mini cupcakes I just wanna be near them 🥺

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

10 months

@joshgondelman I’m not usually that mean outside of my head, but she caught me off guard.

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

4 years

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to arrest the cops who killed Breonna Taylor.

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

4 years

@bookkakes @TreyTheStoner The way she repeats “almond”.

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

2 years

I woke up FROM MY BED in the back of my apartment to her yelling “JUAN! JUAN! GIVE ME MY KEYS! JUAN!” Mind you this woman is directly in front of said door. She could just knock, but she wants to ruin everyone else’s morning too.

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

2 years

THEN I hear “YOU’RE A TRASH BITCH SHUT THE FUCK UP” from another door. She’s yelling at them. I open my door again and my neighbors, and two other doorways of people are yelling at her.

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

1 year

@sammymowrey The true harmony in this video is the collective dislike for this woman’s actions

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

2 years

I’ve seriously listened to this woman scream me awake at least once a week for four years. She’s either yelling at Juan, or her twin daughters. The only reason I haven’t called CPS on this woman based on screaming alone is because the girls seem to laugh it off/not be afraid.

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

4 years

@ellorysmith First you give the whole dorm floor athlete’s foot from the communal showers, and now this...

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

3 years

I applaud my sober friends and their commitment to a better life, but can I get an attaboy for getting shit done while being this stoned?

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

2 years

She precedes to tell me I’m on drugs. I yell at her about how she screams the whole building awake nearly every day, told her to have a good one, and slam my door closed again.

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

2 years

So this morning she’s screaming at Juan, and I open my door and throw out a quick “SHH!” It’s 8:25. Then I hear a barrage of “SHUT UP BITCH!” So I open my door again. She just stands there staring and I have bad eyes, so I can’t tell if she’s staring at me so I ask “WHO?!”

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

2 years

Hiiii my @ComedyCentral set is up if you’re into that kind of thing.

Comedy Central Stand-Up

@standup

2 years

We need a car horn for acknowledging our mistakes. @katrinasivad Watch the full set:

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

3 years

Got a rejection email today, felt good to remember I believed in myself two weeks ago.

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

4 years

@LizMaupin I’m Instagram friends with a girl because she was tagged in a New York Times photo like 3 years ago and people thought it was me. She takes pole dancing classes now and is doing great! ❤️

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

10 months

@MsLeeW She could’ve just told me I was mistaken but here we are

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

2 years

@paigeweldon I interpret this as whoever is working at the Target pharmacy at the time.

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

4 years

@ZachNoeTowers I think becoming an escort exclusively for Hugo the health inspector is Linda’s financial backup for the family.

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

3 years

@LizMaupin I have a question for every single line of this tweet

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

6 years

My boyfriend asked if it bothers me that he is so bossy, but I never even noticed because I’ve spent my entire life ignoring men when they try to tell me what to do.

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

8 months

I swear my dad’s favorite part of Christmas is saying “Gimme that trash” after every gift that’s opened.

Katie D

@KatieDeal99

8 months

My dad already put a box of garbage bags next to his favorite chair so he’s ready for Christmas morning so he’s reached peak holiday dad

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

3 years

I’d rather die than have “time for a quick call”

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

3 years

I’ve persevered through losing family members, jobs and lovers, but shit like this makes me want to give up.

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

5 years

Some states are celebrating Mother’s Day by forcing a woman to become one.

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

2 years

Sometimes when people clarify that they were joking, I want to say “I know you were, it just wasn’t funny. I wasn’t being quiet because I was confused.”

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

1 year

Now that we’ve uncovered their parking lot scheme, can we discuss how Trader Joe’s Caesar salads are 30% stem?

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

1 year

I was trying to have a subtle panic attack in the airport once and a service dog pulled up next to me like “Hi, my owner and I noticed you from across the bar…”

Alyssa Leader

@alittleleader

1 year

Today at my office I ran into a guy with a service dog getting off the elevator, and the dog beelined STRAIGHT to my side. Me: Oh, he’s so sweet!!! Can he tell if people are stressed? Person: He’s a PTSD dog. Me: 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

10 months

@JenSaunderson Like relax ma’am, you’re not that cool I’m just nice and aggressively near sighted.

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

2 years

@KierraDC @amymiller “We were SO happy when these came out.” - My mom

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

4 years

@princessnegress @AmySilverberg My public southern school had our sex education course taught by an abstinence group. My first friend got pregnant that fall.

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

1 year

@baddestmamajama I almost feel bad, because if he had a fun friend group at their age I think he’d know this is how great inside jokes are born. 💚

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

1 year

@saraschaefer1 Also hilarious that my 4+ years of never-late rent payments carried no weight with them

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

2 years

Sick of seeing people tweet about how there‘s no music made especially for today like this banger EP doesn’t exist.

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

4 years

@mumblecomic @gerrieyaki Please don’t beat yourself up for reminding your friend that he’s well off. The idea that anyone would badger you for money that was found with an ID is garbage behavior. It’s not theirs and you know who it belongs to. That should’ve been the end of it. Proud of you!

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

2 years

I waited so long to do laundry it looks like I have a family.

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

1 year

I want Jamie Lee Curtis to play her in an SNL skit where she recites this word for word, but every time they cut back she looks more and more like the Monopoly man.

Warren Commission Test Skull

@conzmoleman

1 year

zoom call from a ceo who cancelled all employee bonuses but took a $6.4 million bonus herself

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

6 years

@MuvaPrincess You can tell in his voice he thinks it’s working and that hurts me.

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

8 months

@gayspud Lord thank you for this Bounty

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

4 years

@hanabryanne @ellorysmith She truly missed an opportunity to rule an entire senior class with this energy.

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

9 months

@ahouse4all There are a sad amount of people who basically think “The unhoused can stay anywhere they want as long as I don’t have to see or interact with them.”

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

3 years

I made something awful and night Twitter seems like the only safe place for it I’m so sorry

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

3 years

@SydneyBattle My name is Katrina and things just started getting back to normal a few years ago

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

3 years

@themightyyana @reddhotriot Had a teacher breakdown in class because we brought up something that made her think of her mother who had recently passed away. We all froze as she wept and didn’t know what to do/how to comfort her. She let me retake my Algebra II final like 3 times I hope she’s good. ❤️❤️❤️

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

3 years

If you’re mad Sha’Carri can’t run just think about everyone still in jail for it.

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

3 years

@SarakiJoon Snacksquatch

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

2 years

Hi. I’m a standup comic that only tells jokes in the places where I’m invited that was also advised by her manager to get her social media numbers up this week, so don’t send me that viral movie theatre video unless you wanna get fucking dealt with.

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

6 years

I know money changes everything because horse girls are only considered cool when they can actually afford a horse.

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

1 year

You’re allowed to be sad for people even when they do horrible things. To acknowledge that a person meant anything to you in life should not immediately equate to condoning their every action. We care about shitty people sometimes.

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

3 years

@AmySilverberg @gabbyAlamby Top of the divorce to ‘em

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

3 years

@LizMaupin MADE you? Lemonade?! For HEAD? Pregnancy?! (^ Technically a follow-up on the previous question due to disbelief)

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

2 years

Celebrating Dry January with cottonmouth from smoking every day

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

8 months

@EliOlsberg One of his love languages is deals

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

1 year

@EKTwrites I was so much older when I realized I was never given, asked for, or even considered a Ken doll. My Barbies were single, starting drama and achieving their dreams.

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

4 years

Our country weaponizes felony charges. Imagine what it would do to the popular vote if even half the Americans peacefully protesting weren’t legally allowed to vote. Please pay attention to local legislation.

NowThis Impact

@nowthisimpact

4 years

A new Tennessee bill would criminalize protesting— here’s what that means

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

1 year

@kemimarie Me every 6 months for the past two years

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

1 year

@saraschaefer1 It would’ve been way worse if I wasn’t friends with the leasing manager! She was very transparent about the owner and left right after I moved in.

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

2 years

11,000 people have seen me do stand-up on Comedy Central’s YouTube today, my parents have not gotten around to it.

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

2 years

@Vitalherbalist @Encapet4d4 @pturkas @nowhyok @1929stockcrash Sending love to this child every day from now on

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

4 years

Did you know if you unfollow a person you can straight up forget they ever existed?

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

4 years

If there’s a westbound train going 100MPH and an eastbound train going 120MPH, how long before they arrest the cops that killed Breonna Taylor?

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

4 years

What I want to eat and what is in my refrigerator are two totally different things.

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

4 years

I mean, so am I, but I guess that won’t hit the same. 🤷🏿‍♀️

kerry washington

@kerrywashington

4 years

Dear animators looking for black voices... I’m avail. 🤷🏾‍♀️

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

4 years

This LA Commissioner Zoom is the most painstaking, but important open mic bucket ever.

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

4 years

Is anyone else weird about making sure their pet has fresh drinking water? I’m refilling this cat’s bowl like I’m trying to get 30% gratuity.

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

4 years

@mithaldu @TannerTheWanner @hellogiebear @sarahjane7101 @The_Law_Boy With love from inside the USA, shush, you have no clue how bad things are for some of us.

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

2 years

@NellyBelle3379 A true moment of togetherness based on irritation 🥹💕

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

1 year

My entire life I’ve had at least one day job in addition to any entertainment gigs I’m lucky enough to get just to avoid being the “starving artist” my mom warned me I could become doing what I love. Give my friends a sustainable living wage for their work. Also go Josh! 💙✊🏿

Deadline Hollywood

@DEADLINE

1 year

‘Last Week Tonight with John Oliver’ writer Josh Gondelman in NYC at #WritersStrike : “The solidarity is impressive and not surprising”

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

2 years

“We don’t deserve dogs.” YOU don’t deserve dogs, I’m fine. I’ve always been nice to dogs, why the guilty conscience?

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

2 years

@Rachele_F Good luck! I feel like most people are polite/logical, so hope all goes well.

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

3 years

@SydneyBattle @LizMaupin Is this a real thing? Is it because of the acidity? How and where do people think babies are made in the body?

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

3 years

All I’ve done for the past 12 hours is cry and mentally grapple with this:

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

3 years

Now that masks are in flux I just want to reassure everyone that all of my coughs are weed coughs

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

4 years

Perspective for every American who has had their wedding plans derailed this year.

Rex Chapman🏇🏼

@RexChapman

4 years

This bride was taking wedding photos yesterday as the explosion happened in Beirut...

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

3 years

Am I a bad feminist for thinking your “men suck” “I hate all men” “all white male comics look the same” jokes are just as hack as Blackccents?

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

4 years

This did not age well 💔

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

@AOC

4 years

Good morning 🌞

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

3 years

This baby barn owl looks like he’s late to the airport

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

1 year

@theashleyray Miranda treating her concert like a mom who wants more time with her daughters

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

1 year

@latkedelrey I think people may be judging because he’s not smiling, but he just has resting stability face.

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

4 years

If you’re “obsessed with true crime” you should scope out all these murderers that haven’t been prosecuted. 🖤

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

4 years

The real vaccine is this lady’s blood

The Hill

@thehill

4 years

102-year-old woman who survived the 1918 Spanish Flu and cancer beats COVID-19 twice

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

3 years

Imagine falling for someone and then learning that they call dogs “doggos”

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

3 years

Anyone else feel like we’re just a bunch of broken people trying to care for one another but we stab each other with the sharp edges of the past the second we get close? You ‘re right I’ll go back to bed, good call.

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

4 years

@TheBig_Penny @JordanUhl STOPPED the one cop who did try.

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

1 year

@sonyashea3 Atlantic City Charlotte did this promo

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Katrina Davis

@katrinasivad

3 years

If you go on a date with a woman and there’s no spark but you think she’s cool, you like all of her posts without commenting until one of you dies. It’s the respectful thing to do.

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