JUNK BOND ANALYST @junkbondanalyst Twitter profile

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

2 years

forever confused by ppl in the gym wearing a $5k+ rolex while working out

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Last Seen Profiles

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

1 year

@impossiblyeve

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

10 months

Sir, the kids table is “taking a walk” before dinner

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

6 months

Only one team can save Boeing now.

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

6 months

The plan: - meet up with the boys at 7 - pregame at home, save $ - wait in line at west village bar (50min) - buy 2 drinks ($65, pre-tip) - speak to ZERO women - get rejected from next bar (ratio) - “tonight was a movie” at least 12x - pass out on couch - miss the ubereats order

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

1 year

@ribbonbraid

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

8 months

My date when I tell her I work 90 hour weeks regularly, have a receding hairline, and am suffering from a crippling Zyn addiction

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

4 months

NYC portal looks good, thx.

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

9 months

Dad, are you in “Private Credit” ?

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

6 months

The plan: - wait to get in the west village bar (45 min) - order 2 drinks (30 min to get service) - speak to zero women (they scare me) - fist bump bouncer on the way out - stop for $1 pizza with the boys - “this night was a movie” at least 16x - pass out on the couch immediately

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

7 months

Lyft IR guy (live feed)

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

9 months

@maridapr this u?

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

3 months

Summer analyst interns for the next 10 weeks:

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

9 months

Morgan Stanley (holding billions of hung Twitter LBO debt) when they hear Elon Musk telling advertisers to go f**k themselves and that they will be the ones who ultimately destroy the company

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

2 months

Go out tonight, speak to ZERO women Go out tonight, speak to ZERO women

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

1 year

@NYCSanitation @Marriott this is called the bare minimum

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

7 months

You are hiding many adjustments to your EBITDA in the add backs, are you not?

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

5 months

The plan: - pregame in the east village 3br flex - go to west village bar (no ratio) - wait in line for 45 min before paying $50/guy to go in - order 2 drinks (30 min wait) - request rufus du sol - speak to ZERO women - order uber XL home (by accident) - pass out, miss doordash

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

2 months

My intern just spoke up in a meeting and asked if anyone saw the news over the weekend about Biden stepping down and not pursuing re-election. Return offer, yes or no?

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

8 months

Our entire financial system will collapse if these boomers do something here. Zyn is Too Big To Fail.

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

8 months

Traders explaining to Chuck Schumer why they need Zyn

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

7 months

Waiting in line at the West Village bar, while the bouncer lets in all the soft 7s and their friends who were behind you

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

5 months

The plan: - log off work (7pm) - uber to the pregame (3br murray hill flex) - 6 red bull vodkas w/ the fellas (no food) - uber to the bar (all guys) - pay $40 to get in (bowery electric) - speak to ZERO women - leave the bar, fall outside (embarrassing) - pass out fully dressed

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

7 months

You are hiding your Jefferies / Deutsche Bank background behind this “Litquidity” meme persona, are you not?

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

7 months

Sam Altman

@sama

7 months

fk it why not 8

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

3 months

You’re laughing? Wells Fargo is firing 12 people for using auto clickers to stay “green” while working from home and abusing their remote work privileges, and you’re laughing?

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

3 months

Analyst from random fund who owns $10mm on a group call says something of *zero value* Me:

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

7 months

Lyft IR guy is the real winner today.

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

4 months

It's going to be an eventful week at Bank of America. Very upsetting that there is still no major press coverage of a banker who lost his life as a result of the job. It's really not that serious, and nobody should ever be pushed to anywhere remotely close to that point.

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

3 months

The plan: - dinner with the boys (48 oysters) - uber XL to the bar (honda CRV) - pay $50 entry (Phebe's) - tell bartender about roaring kitty's GME livestream - speak to ZERO women - walk out, throw up on the corner - uber XL home (solo, murray hill) - pass out in the stairwell

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

1 year

@sophiebuddle

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

5 months

You spent years in banking, moved across shops, finally got into a distressed investing job, work super hard, only to research/invest in a company that rents out porta potties. You're happy. You tell your parents. They tell their friends. You're the poop analyst. Life is good.

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

7 months

Warren Buffett writing his annual letter to Berkshire Hathaway shareholders

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

23 days

The plan: - show up late to The Spaniard - pay $60 cover to get in (sober) - only half the boys showed up - buy a round of shots - speak to ZERO women - get told i have zero rizz (accurate) - leave at 11pm (still sober) - walk home 30 blocks (no uber) - pass out watching netflix

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

4 months

The plan: - finish dinner (soho) - kick back 2 espresso 'tinis - uber to spaniard (6 guys) - tell bouncer i'm head of macro - "tonight is a movie" 3x - speak to ZERO women - order uber, wait 15 min. (big wait fee guy) - stumble out of the bar - order pizza/wings ($60), pass out

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

3 months

The plan: - show up late to dinner (soho) - miss 85% of the food (drinks only) - roll up to the bar (barely ate) - off the wagon ($40 entry fee) - reenact the moelis banker punching incident - get kicked out (2am) - uber XL home (solo) - pass out on couch, miss doordash delivery

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

2 months

As always, Kirkland & Ellis gets the last laugh.

Sujeet Indap

@sindap

2 months

WeWork final professional fee requests just filed. $111mn total for 7 month case for reorganized company officially valued at $750mn:

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

6 months

“We have retained Kirkland & Ellis and PJT to help us evaluate our balance sheet”

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

4 months

The plan: - pregame (east village) - down 7 four lokos with the boys - uber black to bar ($55, 10 blocks) - stumble into Due West, 9pm - speak to ZERO women - spend 30 min on Weather app - “tonight is a movie” 4x - suggest leaving, “up to you though” - order uber, pass out inside

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

3 months

POV: You own $75mm of 1L TL at 92c and the company just missed guidance by 22%, hired K&E, dropped their crown jewel asset into an unrestricted subsidiary, and fired their CFO

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

3 months

A 10 second clip shows Jonathan Kaye, a Moelis MD/partner, punching someone. The clip ignores all the events leading up to the exchange. Jacket wet, people on the ground - why? You can hear him say she threw sh*t all over him! Not advocating for violence but context does matter.

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

2 months

Jonathan Kaye, the ex-Moelis banker, was assaulted and provoked into an act of self-defense to escape a violent situation. Here’s proof. Sadly, a shorter video that lacked all context led to a spiral which completely derailed his life. Is that right? Is that fair? Not at all.

Collin Rugg

@CollinRugg

2 months

JUST IN: Full footage released of the NYC banker who went viral last month for hitting someone from a pride event. Jonathan Kaye went viral after a short clip showed him KO'ing a person in Brooklyn, however the video didn't show the full story. On Monday, Kaye turned himself in

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

9 months

Remember the 29 year old Kraft Heinz CFO who came in from 3G and proceeded to destroy the company, get downgraded into High Yield (fallen angel), and admit financial accounting errors? David Knopf, Forbes 30 Under 30, class of 2017.

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

7 months

You are going to the JPMorgan Leveraged Finance conference in Miami to hang out and party with your industry friends instead of doing your job and meeting with companies, are you not?

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

3 months

Investment banking MDs after doing 4 steak dinners a week for 20 years

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

4 months

Pls drop honorable mentions in the comments.

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

3 months

Interns debating between Phebe's, Hair of the Dog, and Penny Farthing as the move for tonight

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

5 months

You are hiding several very serious years of losses and many illiquid assets in your $1.3bn portfolio, are you not?

Bloomberg Markets

@markets

5 months

Antara Capital, a $1.3 billion hedge fund backed by Blackstone, froze its hard-to-sell assets from redemptions after piling on losses

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

5 months

We're going to the golden age of private credit.

em ྀི

@iminsideyu

5 months

where r we goin

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

2 months

Friend just IB’d me saying he bought some 1L bonds. I immediately hired Davis Polk, got a group of 52% of lenders together, dropped the assets into an unrestricted subsidiary, stripped his liens, and elevated our paper ahead of his. Lesson one, welcome to the trenches buddy.

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

3 months

Some context. Looks like he was provoked via a hate crime based on him being Jewish, and a threat to his safety. I actually think what Kaye did was justified. We live in a world where people expect no repercussions for what they do; what happened to actions have consequences?

JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

3 months

A 10 second clip shows Jonathan Kaye, a Moelis MD/partner, punching someone. The clip ignores all the events leading up to the exchange. Jacket wet, people on the ground - why? You can hear him say she threw sh*t all over him! Not advocating for violence but context does matter.

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

11 days

Clearlake partners during the due diligence sessions

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

4 months

Good morning. It's time. Let's get this mf bread.

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

8 months

Day in the life.

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

6 months

Permission to consume 18 Guinnesses in the west village, speak to zero women, say "we're so back" about 14 times, buy a round of shots for the boys, and throw up as the Uber arrives to pick us up.

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

8 months

It appears your collateral has been moved away from you, Mr. Distressed Analyst

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

2 months

Credit sales gf / Hedge fund analyst bf

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

9 months

"We have retained Kirkland & Ellis to help us evaluate our capital structure options"

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

7 months

“We have retained Kirkland & Ellis and PJT to help us evaluate our balance sheet”

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

3 months

Moelis investment bankers:

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

10 months

BuccoCapital Bloke

@buccocapital

10 months

The lesson of 2023 is that you need a Board of cold-blooded killers Capitalists who will spill the guts of your enemies You can’t give your money to people with a fake moral compass based on made up philosophies

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

7 months

Jamie is almost there... He can feel it.

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

6 months

Bud Light needs to get Sydney Sweeney to be their next marketing campaign spokesperson. Guaranteed 100% to fix all their issues.

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

7 months

Cringe behavior from Citi. Zero understanding of how real dealmaking, client services, and banking works.

Alexandra Semenova

@alexandraandnyc

7 months

*CITI HOLDS CALLS TO TELL DEALMAKERS TO LIMIT DRINKING AT EVENTS lol

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

7 months

You are hiding many loans trading at 75c in that CLO, are you not?

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

4 months

Private equity is going to see this chart and start LBOing the big concert venues.

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

9 months

Pre-Apollo LBO Post-Apollo LBO

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

5 months

The plan: - leave work (8pm) - link with the boys (east village 3br flex) - pound 11 smirnoff ices - head to penny farthing, pay $60 entry - request kanye west 8 times - speak to ZERO women - stumble out, get in wrong uber - order doordash ($110) - pass out, miss the order again

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

9 months

There’s our little finance analyst! Why don’t you come downstairs and tell everyone what that “EBITDA” you keep talking about is?

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

3 months

"We have retained Kirkland & Ellis to help us evaluate our capital structure options"

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

1 month

Pls drop honorable mentions in the comments.

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

4 months

You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they made me.

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

3 months

Fixed it.

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

3 months

“We have retained Kirkland & Ellis and PJT to help us evaluate solutions to our capital structure”

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

3 months

I'm convinced that an early morning workout before starting your day is one of the healthiest things you can do to optimize both your health and lifestyle.

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

7 months

Pls drop honorable mentions in the comments

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

6 months

Ladies and gentlemen, we are so back.

Bloomberg

@business

6 months

One Deutsche Bank employee raked in more than €14 million ($15.2 million) last year, making them the best-paid person at the German lender in at least a decade

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

6 months

We’re so back.

Dave Portnoy

@stoolpresidente

8 months

I Just Bought A Ton of Spirit Airlines Stock (I Am Not A Financial Advisor)

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

4 months

CLO analysts on their way to the office for another day of coloring, eating crayons, and nap time

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

2 months

Pls drop honorable mentions in the comments.

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

5 months

This is what being in an east village bar at 1am feels like.

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

7 months

Writing something funny over chat to a colleague sitting near you, and then looking over to see their reaction

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

5 months

Being bald is the common denominator of being successful at Goldman.

High Yield Harry

@HighyieldHarry

5 months

A Tale of Two Goldman Co-Presidents

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

10 months

Your 55 year old MD and the second year analyst the day after the firm holiday party

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

3 months

Roaring Kitty made some trades in GameStop and then announced to the market that he did. There is no difference between you or I doing that exact same thing. How is this market manipulation? It’s not. The fact is that nobody cares about your trade, but everyone cares about his.

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

2 months

You’re laughing? Baupost just fired 20% of their investing staff? and you’re laughing?

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

9 months

This is how the restructuring mfs at Evercore and Gibson Dunn start acting when they see a company is heading towards bankruptcy. Fees $

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

7 months

How to deal with a junior analyst who makes constant avoidable mistakes? It’s nonstop. Spelling errors, wrong names, mislabeling, just to name some. Curious to hear some thoughts. Called it out in a constructive way a few times already, but it’s unbelievably annoying.

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

12 days

It’s actually insane that this was just blasted across everyone’s Bloomberg screen. Slow news day.

zerohedge

@zerohedge

12 days

*AMAZON SIGNS $100 MILLION DEAL FOR KELCE BROTHERS' PODCAST

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

1 month

Trump walking out to Many Men is the most real thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life. Gangster.

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

20 days

“The quiet days at the end of the summer are a great time to go through new ideas” -PM (working from East Hampton)

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

1 month

When you ask a good question on a public earnings call and your boys IB you immediately to give you props

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

6 months

How the CLO analyst looks at you when you explain his 1L Term Loan is now 7th-out, quoted at 15c, last in line for repayment, in a >12x levered secular declining company where K&E is running the show

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JUNK BOND ANALYST

@junkbondanalyst

8 months

“We have moved the secured collateral into an unrestricted subsidiary and are evaluating capital structure solutions to extend our debt maturities” Kirkland / PJT: