WH @hastifliche Twitter profile | Pikagi

Pikagi

WH

@hastifliche

5,534

Followers

357

Following

1,551

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14,952

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The wery hunter, slepinge in his bed, To wode ayein his minde goeth anon

Joined March 2022

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@hastifliche

WH

2 years

This was it: the first day of junior high. I burst into Mr. Milson's math class like fragments of semi-molten copper piercing the exterior of a humvee outside the Green Zone and shredding the US diplomatic personnel within. It was going to be a great year.

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Last Seen Profiles

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@hastifliche

WH

7 months

my housemate said he had a dream recently which was just 'the loudest noise in history' and it woke him up

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2 months

Your heart should just beat a single time, at your birth, with enough force to drive the blood around your body for an entire 80-year lifespan

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2 years

I guess somewhere around the age of 12 it became my turn to go on the computer, and it still is. my turn just didn't end. more than a decade later I'm still here, on the computer

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6 months

Fucking dog is mesmerised by Turkish news again

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1 year

come through, man. we're hanging out in a seemingly boundless grove of pomegranate trees. it's always dusk here. I have forgotten almost every detail of my past

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5 months

she knocked that shit out of the park

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2 years

i think pulling a plate-armoured nobleman off his horse with a billhook and then beating him to death with hammers alongside your boys would be unique among human experiences. closest you get these days is eating crab

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2 months

Asbestos found: We've found asbestos in the mulch,

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8 months

good comment section, a lot of people saying 200+ which suggests that they're all books like 'Pregnant with the Werewolf Cowboy's Children'

@CaffeinatedLiha

Maliha

@CaffeinatedLiha

8 months

How many books have you read so far this year?

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WH

5 months

I've always loved the story behind this -- basically, during WWII, US air force statisticians collated data on where returning bombers had been damaged by enemy fire. This represented where planes would typically get hit. By reinforcing those spots, many lives were saved.

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1 year

talking to housemate's golden retriever: You are so special. You are so special. You are lovely. You are the loveliest girl in Lovely Town.. talking to gf: Fri 18:07: could u get some beans on way home i think we're our 18:07 *out 18:08: bake beans 18:13: *baked

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5 months

the neighbouring tribe crack me up, man... they think the sky was made from the skin of the Great Serpent rather than the blood of the Rainbird

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5 months

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1 year

my grandma: oh you're so handsome and tall now but i remember when you were barely knee-height, with those big chubby cheeks 😊 me [drawing my sword]: You forget yourself, crone.

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2 months

@SunlightFiora I could handle it

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2 years

white boy in da uniqlo shirt😱 and uniqlo trousers. and uniqlo socks as well

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@hastifliche

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7 months

[outflanking Mao from the left] I actually think women hold up 65% of the sky

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2 years

I miss the French Kanye Died in a trench Kanye Fought at the Somme Kanye Led with aplomb Kanye Le mitrailleur Kanye Le Franc-tireur Kanye Gangrenous leg Kanye Not Sonderweg Kanye

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1 year

opening a viral post and seeing all the barely human bluechecks gibbering underneath induces the same disgust as peering into a pail of water you left in the barn only to find it filled with the corpses of drowned rats

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2 months

You are charged with tumblr prose and reddit humour. I find you guilty on both counts

@prawn_meat

ringworm

2 months

made some bumper stickers 👍

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1 year

oldest cope in the book

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18 days

It's funny that there was a small window in history where your entertainment options in London were 1) watching Shakespeare himself act in his own plays or 2) watching a starved bear get disemboweled by dogs

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1 year

fascinating...simply fascinating

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7 months

really cracked me up because he said this after my other housemate detailed at length her symbolically elaborate dream about falling glassware etc

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7 months

'piss like a racehorse' is a great expression. at its best that really is how it feels: high pressure, high throughput, unerring precision, rippling athleticism

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1 year

catching up with sister

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9 months

gelatinous american redditor instantly abandons commitment to property rights once palestinians try to exercise them

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1 year

invented a sandwich named 'The Guilty Colonel'. The Colonel is played by a sliced cornichon, who lies awake on his bed of bread and cheese. Haunted by the cavalrymen he sent to die at the Nivelle, he has drawn an oilcloth of sliced turkey over himself, to hide from God's sight

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2 years

dream grunt rotation

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9 months

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@plovejet

Tank Posting

9 months

I swear to God one of the most exciting parts about entering Gaza will be the fact I won't be on Twitter and seeing all the god awful takes on this conflict.

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2 months

while we were washing up after making minestrone, gf said 'the tomato and onion were separated by the high seas for so long before they were wed'

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1 month

it's frightening how inarticulate young and youngish writers of self-consciously highbrow stuff are now, as a rule. they just do not seem at home in language

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5 months

probably the worst cartoon I have ever seen

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3 months

this is a good video. sassy 40-year-old ameritard with epic bacon physiognomy mistakes list of locations in which US embassies have been attacked for list of state actors which have attacked US embassies

@teameffujoe

The Older Millennial

3 months

If you are an #astrology #tiktok #Creator , kindly shut the fuck up about geo-politics you know nothing about. #israel #iran #embassy #IranAttack

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@hastifliche

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1 year

don't like horses. credulous quadrupeds lowering bridled elongate heads to drink ponds dry or annihilate a tuft of innocent grass. The horse frolics like a rock rolls down a slope: because it is obeying a law. The shrewd pig plays because it is the pleasure he has 𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘯

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@hastifliche

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2 months

extremely forgettable sentence. amazed this got 4k likes. you should leave seeing beauty in the mundane to the pros 😎

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2 years

WhatsApp messages from your Dutch electrician be like: late to-day, fifteen minutes. i've been beaten the shit out of

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11 months

Hustle. Knowledge. Wisdom.

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3 months

[wearing Stasi officer uniform, reclining in chair across from male mutual] at 7:09 pm you were followed by this female lowbie [i slide her pfp across the table] You immediately followed back. She only posts things like "in my going for a walk era." Can you explain yourself?

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1 year

Greta Gerwig has just signed on to direct a big-budget adaptation of Age of Empires II: The Age of Kings

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1 month

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2 years

edible got me feeling like Young Man Peeling a Pear, c. 1868

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7 months

Laughed really hard at this. Part of what makes it so zany is that the author has randomly capitalised words throughout the joke.

@salivasisters

saliva

7 months

saying " i Miss my wife" every Time i blink because i Do not have Object permanence

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1 year

kissed on the head execution style

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2 years

accidentally shrieked with delight when they informed me I was to receive the award for Most Stoical Disposition and they immediately rescinded their decision, to which grim news I responded with a barely perceptible nod of such equanimity that they instantly reinstated it

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1 year

two F-22 Raptors just shredded this thing to pieces in the sky over Nebraska

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3 months

Dan Hentschel has unlocked the raw comedic power of paying for FaceApp Premium

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1 year

@evilvillain1231 this is fucking hilarious, in the beard pic he looks like one of those forensic reconstructions of early mediaeval peasants

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5 months

@AstuteCFO My pleasure. Remarkable what those eggheads were able to come up with

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2 years

Arthur exhibits here many of the traits of domestication syndrome in mammals: floppy ears, depigmentation, a shortened muzzle, and perhaps behavioural neoteny. My guess is that if you sawed open his skull you'd find reduced brain volume relative to his wild counterparts.

@b1g_damage

Jared 🗿🇵🇸

2 years

look what they did to him

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1 year

Dream Journal 1/08/23: No dreams. 2/08/23: No dreams. 3/08/23: Didn't dream tonight. 4/08/23: Didn't dream. 5/08/23: No dreams. 6/08/23: Dreamless sleep. 7/08/23: No dreams yet.

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8 months

I myself have read two thousand books so far this year, bearing such titles as 'Advanced Notions for Brilliant Boys' and 'A Disquisition upon the Mathematico-Logical Underpinnings of Conscious Experience'

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5 months

@IanYates82 Thank you. I think I'm unsuited to it -- feel as if I've wronged each person who gets suckered

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1 year

amphetamine intake correlates linearly with human performance. more amphetamines = more sensitive husband, more puissant lover, more polymathic intellect, fuller appreciation of cubism, more magnanimous in victory, nobler in defeat, ability to speak in dactylic hexameter,

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7 months

Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin hide from a Ringwraith in the forest

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5 months

@Mawi8448517 If those parts of the plane were in any danger, they would have shown signs of damage, rather than appearing relatively unscathed.

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1 year

the american is launched on a psychological odyssey by the imbibement of a single beer

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1 year

oil painting in Dune trailer looks really bad

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2 years

Dad found a bunch of paintings I did when I was four. He had recorded the titles I gave them on the back of each panel: 1. Big Steel Pylons 2. A Bath Full of Red Arab Gas 3. Magic Head inside another Magic Head 4. My Friend Isaac who Lives with Me

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2 years

come on. you can't ALL be autistic

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7 months

come on lol

@ezkl7_3

wrath of God

7 months

Let’s get this bread

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10 days

one of the least impressive gneiss outcrops I've seen

@CharmingGrump

hireable and loving it

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Oh man. Look at this gneiss rock outcrop in Ontario.

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1 year

is cybernetics actually about anything

@pseudodeucalion

𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐑𝐘𝐎𝐒𝐇𝐊𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐒𝐓🪆

@pseudodeucalion

1 year

Posters from the American Society of Cybernetics

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9 months

it's genuinely disturbing when people suddenly reveal that they have never read a book on a topic about which they have been stridently moralising for days

@whstancil

Will Stancil

9 months

One thing that is so striking to me is how unclear Israel’s actual military objectives seem. Obviously that’s not something we’d have total visibility into. But it feels on some level there is no real objective beyond “respond in a way that causes massive destruction”

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2 months

Arrr!! The white whale reaped away me leg when I were patrollin the opium fields of Kandahar

@RepBrianMast

Rep. Brian Mast

2 months

I lost both of my legs in battle while defending our nation. I'll never give up fighting for America. These repulsive actions demonstrate just how deeply ingrained hatred for America is with these pro-Hamas protesters.

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1 year

starting around the age of 12, I was repeatedly hexed by malevolent wizards, inducing a horrific metamorphosis...wiry dark hair sprouted in strange places on my body, my testicles swelled in size, my voice deepened, and i was beset by unspeakable carnal visions

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10 months

The Brown Exaggerator

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1 year

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2 years

reading the New Yorker these days is very odd because you can see the guard changing in real time. a delightful and brilliant Gopnik article will directly abut shit like this, which wouldn't cut the mustard in a student magazine

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5 months

This is often used as an example of 'survivorship bias': planes (i.e. 'survivor ships' - aircraft which survived) tended to return from more sorties if they had been reinforced in the areas with red dots.

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11 months

Le Chiffre: have you ever experienced...male loneliness, Mr Bond? [gagged Bond screams and struggles against restraints]

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1 year

i was spittin with this centuries-old whine

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3 months

This is what many Americans are. they make fat fists and gesticulate like gigantic unweaned babies at things that upset or confuse them. they smugly inform you that Cyprus, Japan, Portugal and Kuwait have recently attacked US consular facilities

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5 months

@BROTHELDEN It's fine to jape and jest. In fact it is sweet and right.

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1 year

they should invent a love that is not made bitter by time

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1 year

releasing my spores in the club

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8 months

lol. both women have deep roots there

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1 year

showing this pic to my barber

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6 months

flying your girl out to my family's quarry

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1 year

[typing tweet:] they should NOT have let my unearthly ass procreate😂 [my translucent five-year-old son Isengrim standing directly behind me with insects hovering in concentric circles around his head] They bullied me again today, father. And still you jape.

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3 months

yeah bro the Judge should have delicate lips and pronounced cheekbones. in fact why not just cast Timothee

@willmenaker

Will 🦥 Menaker

3 months

There's only one choice for Judge Holden imo

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1 year

@sbodrojan the PS3 graphics are integral to the sadness

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5 months

I think a lot of people don't realise that the word is 'sacrilegious' and so etymologically has nothing to do with 'religious'

@awshuqs

corb

5 months

she worshipping my balls she sack religious

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3 months

this thread is a good example of how, if you are dullard artist, you kind of have a moral obligation to avoid running serious topics like domestic violence through the meatgrinder of your obtuse storytelling

@adamtotscomix

Adam Ellis

3 months

🥩 (1/5)

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8 months

@furby_hancock four-hour long video with multiple costume changes about how The Incubus CEO's Wife problematically reproduces neoliberal logics of selfhood

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2 years

@glaivemaster69 evil

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1 year

the wikipedia page for 'Wind' features a beautiful gif of a cherry tree's upper branches blowing in a gale

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8 months

disarming my assailant and immediately using his weapon to self-harm

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1 year

intellectuals go on and on about the sex drive and the death drive. brother why don't you go on an actual drive with a woman to the coast on a warm day. watch the grey water throwing itself at the seawall like love assailing reason. plough your car into a tree on the way home

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5 months

@JerrBearr Exactly. It's such elegant, clear reasoning.

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1 year

rising from a bath and feeling gravity pull the water from my body, I have since boyhood imagined myself an animate Colossus of Rhodes shedding enormous sheets of Aegean seaspray as I lift an impossible foot of unshod bronze to annihilate insurgent Macedonian trihemioliai

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2 years

distasteful dentist joke: q: what's the extra skin around the mouth called? a: the person

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3 months

who cares? we should all try to think about physical appearance as little as possible. your mind shouldn't even move in this direction

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1 year

the gc

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2 months

@P4R4D0X1C4L Tiktok explosion sound

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3 months

the sentinelese islanders are New Atheists, that's why they always kill christian missionaries. I chilled with them on their isle and they kept asking if i knew hitchens or sam harris. I told them it was racist to assume that I would know either of them just because I'm white

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2 years

He was a willowy 5'8'', trousered erotically in dark corduroy

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1 year

horses are just a technology. I can barely distinguish them from tractors. pigs are persons. the common pig dwells in a world of pleasures so various and rich that they would drive the oafish horse to panicked suicide were he to know them

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2 months

For those curious, asbestos-laced mulch has apparently been discovered at 75 sites across Sydney, including playgrounds, school and hospitals. Most of it has been traced to a single supplier 👍

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Asbestos-contaminated mulch found at 75 sites across Sydney, watchdog finds

Focus turns to criminal investigation after NSW Environment Protection Authority completes its trawl through the supply chain

www.theguardian.com

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1 year

ran into my mate Cody the other day. he was a huge fuck up in high school but it turns out he's become a ruler of men, and the rod of his Juſtice declineth with terrible gravity upon the ſorry pates of the venal and the improbitous

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