Ash @ashflytip Twitter profile

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Ash

@ashflytip

9 days

Love the K-hole vibe of the current generation New Builds. Wimpey Dread. You move in thinking ‘somethings wrong here’ but don’t notice the subsidence until your Huel beaker starts spilling of its own accord. french bulldog lies dead on the astroturf. Gut full of microplastics

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@ashflytip

5 months

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@ashflytip

4 months

working some bullshit call centre job and being called in for a performance review inside a treehouse that was used as a meeting room. After giving me a pass agg telling off the manager then left the meeting room/treehouse via a slide

Revamped | Career & Workplace Development

@RevampedCP

4 months

What experience in the workplace radicalized you?

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Ash

@ashflytip

8 months

Hulk Hogan calling James Bulger ‘another hulkamaniac in heaven’ is so mental it makes Guettas shoutout to George Floyd’s family sound like the pinnacle of tact & grace

IANdrew Dice Clay

@IANdrewDiceClay

8 months

BBC has uploaded Hulk Hogan on Pebble Mill from 1993, and here he is in colour mentioning James Bulger as the inspiration to his album. But this episode of Pebble Mill was aired a month after Bulger died. So he was either shit on in the studio or he just went "that'll do."

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Ash

@ashflytip

5 months

@joelgolby Along with death & taxes it’s a dead certainty that people who shit their pants make up another lie, people who say they’ve shit their pants are looking for an easy get out.

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Ash

@ashflytip

9 days

@LegoLas44941816 Never a crime of passion either is it? Always heavily-in debt-spouse-kills partner-in-life insurance scam-gone awry job

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Ash

@ashflytip

4 months

The treehouse in question. You can see the slide at the back. Utterly humiliating but I’m now philosophically opposed to Big Quirk and it’s malign stranglehold on firms that are dead set on co-opting people’s social lives into the work place

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Ash

@ashflytip

11 months

@dank_ackroyd Well you know what they say ‘The Bevel makes work for idle Glans’

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@ashflytip

4 months

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Ash

@ashflytip

9 days

@ValVerdePres Yeah, nice try

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Ash

@ashflytip

1 year

Can just tell this gaff will stink of halloumi fries and a chicken burger called The Motherclucker. If you want a drink it’ll be a £6.40 pint of Brooklyn Lager

Manchester News MEN

@MENnewsdesk

1 year

Take a look inside Chaos Karts, Manchester's new go-kart place with a twist

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Ash

@ashflytip

5 months

Tbf, I used to apply this same level of focus when stealing a little bit of housemates butter in my 20s. Studying the contours of the block, running the knife along the pre-existing grooves.

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Ash

@ashflytip

1 year

@_MichaelOswell_ Rap should’ve been delivered by a black Dutch guy in red camo fatigues and MA2 bomber, the white guy should be doing Adlibs in the background denoting his role as producer. Some rudimentary CGI somewhere wouldn’t have gone amiss. Her hair should’ve been crimped

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Ash

@ashflytip

11 months

@joelgolby Screenshot of a convo with my brother 3 years ago. Checked in yesterday and he’s still confident he could do 36, if PCTS

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Ash

@ashflytip

8 months

@_andrewkerr_ From Essex with Love. A View to A Pill. The Man with The Golds gym guns.

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@ashflytip

7 months

@blueinyorkshire An injunction of exes

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@ashflytip

1 year

@graceyldn Kinga & the wine bottle and/or the coughing major from Who wants to be a millionaire

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Ash

@ashflytip

5 months

@eugeneh84 Some lad started puffing on an elf bar during a teams call last week. It was very ‘lad in year 10 playing with a zippo in class’

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Ash

@ashflytip

11 months

“But I was raised on Eminem and Xbox 360 so perhaps I just have thicker skin than most” 🔥🔥 I’m gonna need a lie down after that absolute heater

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Ash

@ashflytip

1 year

MP that does gunfingers & shouts ‘Fuuuck off! Every time they hear a putdown they like during PMQs

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Ash

@ashflytip

4 months

They would never let us have a pop star with this hairline anymore. Maybe in France perhaps, but everywhere else they definite wouldn’t. A real shame tbh, if I ever start losing my hair this is how i’d wanna bow out

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Ash

@ashflytip

7 months

There’s something about Mary remake looks wank

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Ash

@ashflytip

2 years

Sunak might be posh and worth a gazillion quid but Eat out-to-Help out was ITV2 as fuck. He’s Huel, he’s Rosegold Prosecco flutes, he’s… Nouveau Rishi

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Ash

@ashflytip

2 months

In the Costa del Sol smoking cigs on the balcony with a Fanta Limon. Tinnies from mercadona chilling in the fridge. Unmatchable vibe

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Ash

@ashflytip

7 months

Drank a bottle of poppers

Chris Deeley

@ThatChris1209

7 months

Was having this conversation last night - if you were ever a teenage boy, what was the most physically stupid thing you did in those years? Just absolutely brainless stuff

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Ash

@ashflytip

3 months

Aidan James

@mcandidate

3 months

best Carpenters: 2) jesus 1) sabrina

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@ashflytip

10 months

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Ash

@ashflytip

2 months

@jasebyjason Bit much to reach out for forgiveness in the first place. You’re basically putting the onus on your victim to absolve you for bullying them, when you’ve just given them a sincere apology and left it there

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Ash

@ashflytip

11 months

You’ve just been sentenced to 7 years after being arrested at the Millwall meet

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Ash

@ashflytip

2 years

@heawood Linestroika?

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Ash

@ashflytip

8 months

@_andrewkerr_ Court martialled for desertion. Firing squad led by Darren grimes

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Ash

@ashflytip

2 months

As a man, there’s no better way to audit your own vibe than when trying to grow out a buzzcut. You’ve gotta get through a solid 6 weeks of barnet limbo, all the while trying to project & maintain your regular level of sauce. Not everyone can do it

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Ash

@ashflytip

11 months

@das_munch Real vicars crowdfund for church roof repairs, not tuck shop expenses for freakshow grifters

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Ash

@ashflytip

11 months

@dank_ackroyd

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@ashflytip

1 year

Me after just looking at a Lime Soda: Ive had hangovers you people wouldn't believe... nervous system on fire off the shoulder of Orion..I watched my own arse give up in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All that suffering will be lost in time, like tears in rain, time to die

Ruth Husko

@dank_ackroyd

1 year

People who say things like ‘oh I just don’t seem to get hangovers’ huh interesting have you tried getting absolutely shitfaced

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Ash

@ashflytip

5 months

@joelgolby 😎

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Ash

@ashflytip

1 year

Who was the last person to get famous for being a mistress? Doesn’t happen anymore

Ruth Husko

@dank_ackroyd

1 year

Forgot Rebecca Loos existed until @ashmallerr reminded me. Now there's a blast from the past and by blast I mean ‘wanking off’ and by past I mean ‘a pig’ 👍

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Ash

@ashflytip

8 months

@_andrewkerr_ In a foxhole with Eoghan Quigg

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Ash

@ashflytip

2 years

Matt Hancock, Chris Moyles, and Sean Walsh all in the jungle this time then. Proper Fathers4Justice vibes

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Ash

@ashflytip

7 months

@RossMcCaff I’d get drunk and up telling someone outside my immediate circle before immediately going full Rat Liotta at the end of goodfellas, a paranoid mess

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Ash

@ashflytip

1 year

@calvinrobinson I used to live a few doors down from the local Mosque and they did more for the community in terms of events & organising help than any church I’ve seen do. Every year Iftar basically turned our street into a giant banquet. You wanna take a leaf out of their book pal!

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@ashflytip

11 months

@notmacksy

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@ashflytip

1 year

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@ashflytip

2 years

@Jackawill1

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@ashflytip

7 months

@_andrewkerr_ The kids Piñata. The holy martyr. The royal charter. The marrakech barter.

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Ash

@ashflytip

8 months

@paul_haine His insta account ‘londondeadpubs’ is really good

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Ash

@ashflytip

11 months

The Mask is ten times better than Peaky Blinders and yet we don’t see groups of lads dressed like this for a night on the town/the races/axe throwing

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Ash

@ashflytip

8 months

@_andrewkerr_

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@ashflytip

24 days

@panoparker He’s dressed like Chris Martin too

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Ash

@ashflytip

2 years

@tom_usher_ Cancel internet, switch to giff gaff (Alcatel burner phones are reasonably priced). Get a box TV with built in DVD player (ensuring screen size is 28 inch or less). Treat every room outside your bedroom as The Outside. Batch cook beans in kettle. Simples.

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@ashflytip

2 months

@FinnMcCorry

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Ash

@ashflytip

2 years

@BeingCalum I wonder what curry she goes for, im guessing Tesco Korma but I’m really hoping they do a product line that’s literally just called ‘Tesco Curry’. Also, I bet her meal deal selekky is fucking bleak too

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@ashflytip

10 months

Referring to any male colleagues with 2 day stubble as ‘my fellow Movembros’ and bombarding them all with this gif every 15 minutes until I get sent home

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Ash

@ashflytip

7 months

3 pint buzz is goated when having spent a day at work with no pints is the vibe

Duncan

@ketaminedrams

7 months

3 pints is as close to god as we ever get

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Ash

@ashflytip

2 years

Suella Braverman more like Cruella Braverman I said

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Ash

@ashflytip

4 months

The Ket Gala

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Ash

@ashflytip

3 months

Lost me at ‘forgotten rave classic’tbh. It was a staple of heart fm adjacent Friday-dance anthems-type shows for a good 20 years first. The soundtrack to a million tradeys racing home in the work van after a 3pm early knock off

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@ashflytip

2 years

@deathofbuckley

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Ash

@ashflytip

2 years

Wonder how this guy is getting on

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Ash

@ashflytip

2 years

As far back as I can remember I always wanted to be a Training and Operational Support Lead

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Ash

@ashflytip

2 years

Ian & Myra, Fred & Rose, Gerry & Kate… Holly & Phil?

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Ash

@ashflytip

8 days

@ValVerdePres @AprilJuneAgain Whatever you say pal. As shoddy as that gaff is it’s a 3/4 bed detached house that costs north of 350k. Whoever can afford to live there has considerably more upward mobility than I do. Also, the petit bourgeois types you refer to are doing ok for themselves,they can take a dig

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@ashflytip

7 days

@_andrewkerr_ Big time BDSM Douglas Murray type. A real sicko

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@ashflytip

4 months

@_andrewkerr_ Just imagining Farage doing a big ale fart in a roomy pair of Palm Angel joggers

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@ashflytip

11 months

@_andrewkerr_ Keep the tunes comin Fitzy! Nearly finished my shift the tunes are keeping me goin!

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Ash

@ashflytip

4 months

@mcandidate No Tod No Cry

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Ash

@ashflytip

25 days

Hit em with a little ghetto gospel

Jeremy Clarkson

@JeremyClarkson

25 days

Don’t worry if your A level results aren’t what you were hoping for. I got a C and two Us, and here I am, 46 years later, with my own pub. It opens next weekend if you fancy dropping in.

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@ashflytip

2 years

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@ashflytip

2 years

Don’t mind me, I just jumped on here and called a BrexShitter a spunktrumpet

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Ash

@ashflytip

6 months

Big Jasper + Tony Iommi X White Christmas = Black Carrott

Ruth Husko

@dank_ackroyd

6 months

Them: You better not be watching Jasper Carrott performing a cover of ‘Caroline’ by Status Quo with Bev Bevan on drums and Tony Iommi on guitar that also segues into ‘White Christmas’ for some reason when I get there My goofy ass:

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Ash

@ashflytip

2 years

Thinking about that Black eyed peas song where Fergie says ‘I’m so 2008, you’re so 2000 and LATE”

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Ash

@ashflytip

1 year

@dandouglas 1998. Tarrant on TV playing a saucy danish condom advert. Trigger finger resting on the on the tellys on/off button (remote was broken). Ready to switch off the Amstrad and throw myself back on to the single bed in one swift move at a moments notice. That’s the discipline.

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Ash

@ashflytip

6 months

@clive_mart1n I think what’s been lost (certainly in my city) is town centre clubs when you can rock up without a ticket and just pay £5/10 OTD and hear some decent residents play out. Seems like *good* music events are now tickets in advance jobs in out-the-way venues

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Ash

@ashflytip

8 months

@dank_ackroyd Leanne Shag

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@ashflytip

1 year

I think the dubbed versions of the footsoldier films really help the viewer lean into their kitsch euro vibe, which is how they should be enjoyed. It’s Winding-Refn through a pub coke filter.

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@ashflytip

6 months

@_andrewkerr_

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@ashflytip

9 months

@robpalkwriter Coriolanus: the new platform revolutionising the way Whitehall does payroll

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Ash

@ashflytip

8 months

@tristandross Tried ‘ice pop’ flavour once and was astonished it got signed off for mass production, let alone become popular. Apart from some bottom shelf spirits it’s honestly the most rank tasting drink I’ve ever tried

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Ash

@ashflytip

8 months

@_andrewkerr_ Winston Marshall sounds like some old skool brand of tobacco, proper serious gear. “50 grams of Winston Marshall please” “regular or Diplomat?” “Diplomat please”

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Ash

@ashflytip

9 months

Just been Miller & Carter

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@ashflytip

4 months

This image is invoking deep feelings of trading estate ennui. The dread hand of timesheet anxiety

Great British Getty Images

@shitbritishpics

4 months

Chris Somers, left, Andrew Allen, second from left and colleagues take a smoke break . This scene must be a familiar sight in car parks on industrial estate around the UK especially since smoking was banned inside public spaces (2006)

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@ashflytip

6 months

@_andrewkerr_ Country’s fucked, nothing works, and then you look at this and just think Britain really took its eye off the ball a long time ago

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@ashflytip

2 months

Ed Davey victory lap

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Ash

@ashflytip

6 months

@_andrewkerr_ “Autoglass repair, autoglass replace” on a loop as his lifeless head hits the button on the control desk that cuts to commercials

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Ash

@ashflytip

4 months

When the hangover is reaching Bosch-level spiritual torment, I can’t tell you how underrated putting a matching pair of socks on is. Just that one tiny act of self respect is enough to let me know I’ll pull through

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@ashflytip

6 months

@_andrewkerr_ Doing that move then segue straight into pretending-to-walk-down-the-stairs behind the sofa 🔥

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Ash

@ashflytip

3 months

Was in this pub a couple weeks ago, similar scenes. I took a deep breath and bypassed the queue straight to the bar. Got served. Felt like I’d escaped the matrix

pub_queues

@QueuesPub

3 months

White Lion Pub. Avon Gorge Bristol. 8 staff, 3 pouring, 5 “managing”

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Ash

@ashflytip

7 months

@_andrewkerr_ Need to redistribute some buffalo wings my G

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Ash

@ashflytip

9 months

@_andrewkerr_ Scoffing mini kievs & breaded prawn bites now, but they do it on a baking hot Tuesday in June during a hosepipe ban?

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Ash

@ashflytip

17 days

Rewatching The Sopranos again atm, can’t think of any other tv series where you can watch 5-6 episodes in a row and never skip the title sequence (they’re nearly always shit).Still get the same buzz from it as I did watching it in my bedroom on channel 4 first time round

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@ashflytip

9 months

@clive_mart1n I went to a book festival in 2016 and saw Joey Barton in conversation promoting his memoir followed by Karl Ove Knausgaard. That was my Woodstock

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Ash

@ashflytip

10 months

Just a fucking Grade A Whopper this lad

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@ashflytip

2 years

@thugclive First album released 17 years ago, I suppose we’ve reached that point in the cycle. I fully expect TikTok to jump on ‘Stars in their eyes’ by Just Jack any day now

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@ashflytip

1 year

I remember buying a knockoff Papa Roach hoody in 2000 before binning it in shame about 9 months later cus it didn’t reflect my new, grown up tastes (Incubus).

The New York Times

@nytimes

1 year

A growing group among Generation Z is listening to nu metal bands for the first time. Bands like Deftones and Slipknot are resonating with younger fans, thanks to TikTok, the Y2K revival and, of course, enduring teenage angst.

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Ash

@ashflytip

8 days

Sriracha on a Babybel is it?

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Ash

@ashflytip

8 months

The Mask (1994) is on 5*Star right now. Best film about cocaine ever made

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Ash

@ashflytip

6 months

Marchioness of Cholmondeley sounds like a very moody Rugby pub in a provincial market town, but had a function room out back where the local kids put D&B nights on 3 times a year (4 DJs, roughly 29 MCs)

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@ashflytip

4 months

No way this doesn’t bang