Clive Martin @clive_mart1n Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

@loganbh2

@kilotsever21

@CVRAMAN61

@SunderlandBID

@enotnost

@GOLF_com

@CR_OBrien

@curdog_recruits

@KasihLudah

@sneaknsneak

@comando_necaxa

@Balloon_Letters

@DGray_5

@ZweiForgot

@Dret_UAB

@zachary_renz

@CTIAV

@stw_pdg

@MuralesG

@tiisnni

@peoplevpreds

@KasihLudah

@boazbaraktcs

@saleh71mo

@UPN_PNA

@RobLubinforNY

@DevonKerr9

@serpilloc

@iuxixon

@MemesLidom

@airu_yukimimr

@xiVNbJTOLswfw6P

@MemesLidom

@mara_arlert

@LunariaNft

@mathenth

Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

11 months

Bit of a ‘disgraced MP’ vibe with this West London doorstep statement

CFC-Blues

@CFCBlues_com

11 months

🗣️ Mykhailo Mudryk: “Look what happened with Vinicius in his first season at Real Madrid.” 👀🔥

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

3 years

Haaland has exactly the same vibe as the thousands of Scandi teenage boys i've met on my travels, the ones who lean into your ear and bellow 'the girls in here are fucking crazy man!'

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

1 month

Just walked past Stamford Bridge. Sniffer dogs at the gates. Can’t think of a more rogue vibe than doing racket at Soccer Aid.

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

2 years

I love animals, I really do. But some of the Zouma reaction is so overcooked and sanctimonious. The incident itself is cruel, bizarre, totally inscrutable and extremely childish - but when did all these journos become radical PETA members? And who needed Chris Kirkland's opinion?

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

7 years

At a wedding. For the last half hour I've been trying to make myself look like I've been exposed by the fake sheikh

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

1 year

Can’t stop watching videos of Moyes. It’s like he had no idea what being this happy might be like - an entirely new sensation which he cannot control. He’s a roving fireball of serotonin. Seems capable of almost anything. He could end up in a shotgun marriage by Saturday.

Michael Calvin💙

@CalvinBook

1 year

David Moyes living his best life….pure pissed Dad at the wedding reception .

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

3 years

The whole idea of 'lets just stick it out for a while longer' is a middle class delusion - entirely reliant on a service class that makes it easier to stomach. So many people have been working at full tilt throughout - yet the narrative is still dominated by banana bread.

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

6 months

This hairdo is further proof of the spiritual connection between Long Island and Mid-Essex

An0maly

@LegendaryEnergy

6 months

“We don’t do that in America” is the most iconic line of the year so far

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

5 years

Laurence Fox reminds me of a few aggy aristocrats i've met; manic energy, heavy backslaps, extremely patronising but desperately sad. Ruins his family shooting parties, drinks bitter, fancies his sister a bit. Post-feudal malaise. A knight without a battlefield, the Prince of ITV

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

3 years

I’ve stood by my father through a lot of things, but stealing the entire visual and culinary identity of one of Britain’s most beloved restaurants is deeply unethical. JD Wetherspoons was not founded on these principles.

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

1 year

Imagine if the Dalai Lama got proper noncehunted. Cornered at Birmingham Coach Station by three guys in Under Armour caps and broadcast on Facebook Live

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

1 year

Mate of mine once saw Michael Gove outside a pub. Called him a Tory wanker or some shit. Gove replied with something like: ‘usually I am more than willing to converse with members of the public, but you sir, are drinking a Budweiser!’ - and walked off. 10/10 clapback really.

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

1 year

90% of British music is like: “Growing up in London’s Camden Town, singer-songwriter Rozy-May fuses bittersweet lyrics with the Dub/Garage sounds of her hometown. Her new album ‘Wot U Got For Me’ is out on Sony AMC now (and her Dad is Pete Tong)”

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

1 year

Mudryk appears to be reading… Naomi Klein?

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

2 years

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

1 year

My timeline is a pretty straight 33.33…% between Wagner Group, Arctic Monkeys and ‘Rice only wants Arsenal’

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

5 years

Bournemouth's squad players look like they're all auditioning for the role of a friendly young apprentice butcher in a Morrisons advert

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

8 months

Skyfall probably the defining aesthetic document of the Cameron era. A patriotic tech-thriller where everyone wears sober, navy blue suits and most scenes take place in WC1 buildings or bombed-out, washed-out cityscapes. It's Michael Mann funded by The National Trust.

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

5 years

Tbf to Kylie Jenner most millionaire's kids I know just work in obscure arts jobs and post pictures of their friends smoking outside cafes

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

3 years

Neil Oliver has real dark session energy. Last man standing, winter light creaking through the curtains, breakfast telly on mute, 'Selected Ambient Works' playing, scraping gear out of the grooves in the coffee table, advocating some kind of population control.

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

2 years

One last thing about Lynch. A lot of the anchors he’s coming up against seem to have forgotten how to talk to anyone that isn’t angling for an appearance on the next show, or a regular ‘review the papers’ slot. He’s there for a cause not a career, and they’re struggling with it.

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

6 months

Reads like a fucking Ofsted report

Edmund Brack

@EdmundBrack

6 months

Crystal Palace fans hold up a banner that says: “Wasted potential on and off the pitch. Weak decisions taking us backwards.” #CPFC

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

5 years

Just called Matty Healy 'Matty James' in conversation. Time to hand in my millennial badge & gun.

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

3 years

At present moment I do not believe he is fit to run the company, and I will be standing against him at the next company elections. No more questions at this time. Thank you.

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

7 years

Luka Modric surely the only player in this World XI to have been played out of position to accommodate Wilson Palacios

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

5 years

I really don't wanna jump on the XR are crusties train at all, but targeting Canning Town - a station which would primarily be taking working class people between Stratford and Canary Wharf/the West End at that time is just so so misguided. Do it at fucking Brentwood or Putney.

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

7 months

Top 5 Unusual And Quirky Things To Do In London On A Budget

Met Police Taskforce

@MetTaskforce

7 months

Did you know members of the public, are able to ride along with the Metropolitan Police? If this interests you, have a ride along with the Territorial Support Group & see how they proactively deal with crime within communities. To apply see the link for details & request TSG.

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

3 years

My Dad started this business with the honest intention of providing affordable beverages for the working man. I fear he has been led astray by a mob of right wing Brexiteers, seeking to misuse his considerable influence.

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

1 year

1000%, this was a false flag

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

3 years

'The gentlemen on the next table have sent you a bottle of our finest Prosecco'

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

3 years

@AlexGoldberg_ One of the worst takes i've heard in years. Absolutely zero grounding in facts, statistics or sense.

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

2 years

I think about this quite a lot.

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

3 years

Spent the last half hour thinking about who the funniest person to get a Bored Ape NFT would be. Decided on Sally Rooney.

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

4 years

Right, time to reel this one in a bit. Never thought i'd have to clarify this - but Tim Martin is not my Dad.

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

3 years

Nothing I like more than rolling up at an unfamiliar pub quiz and shitting up the team who win every week. Just like, two of you, against six teachers - not necessarily winning, but taking them to the brink. Letting them know they’re beatable, and never returning again.

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

5 years

Jack Grealish rapidly becoming the male beauty icon of our time; the bizarre Russian lapdog hair, the Superdrug tan, the sub-5% body fat percentage...the ultimate post-spornosexual Tommy Shelby. He's our Brando, our Bowie, your daughter's new boyfriend who uses all the shower gel

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

2 years

Has there ever been such a relentlessly positive music journalism culture? Everything's like, 'an epic story of love, loss and self-acceptance told through the prism of...' Where's all the bad reviews and calling Keane 'bedwetters'? Or do you have to have done something terrible?

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

4 years

Londoners would do well to remember that it was them who kickstarted Johnson's credible political career, by voting him in as mayor (twice)

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

2 years

Quite depressed about how many of the football intelligentsia are coming off like Daily Express columnists right now. All this fire & brimstone rhetoric about 'ill-gained honours', when Abramovich has been who he is for years and nobody gave a fuck a month ago.

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

7 years

Calm down mate, Mourinho's still building. Give the man some time

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

11 months

Most jarring thing about this is the lack of specifics. When people talk about going to football they talk about stands, ends, pubs, the road you walk down. Rituals and traditions. Here it’s like ‘London’, ‘grass’, ‘sounds’

Keir Starmer

@Keir_Starmer

11 months

As an @Arsenal season ticket holder, there is nothing like the buzz of the first day of a new campaign. I can feel this is the season for us... #hope #PL

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

2 years

Re: Abramovich chants. In my experience, working class (or ex-working class) fans of London clubs, AKA 'heritage fans', the people I grew up standing next to at The Bridge - live with a kind of perpetual siege mentality, whether the attacks are real, justified, whatever.

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

4 years

YOU ARE NOW ENTERING FREE HEALTHCARE

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

5 years

Croatia is incredible but it really is the home of the ubiquitous British 'Facebook couple'; white polo shirt and blue chino shorts for him, orange and white frilly top for her, a giant Aperol spritz, a seafood platter, an engagement ring burning a hole in the hotel safe

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

4 years

Dubai has become the COVID Casablanca. A desert neutral zone populated by influencers, con artists, yogatubers, sinister swinging couples from Cheshire and footballers doing 'warm weather training'

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

5 years

1. Labour win 2. Johnson loses seat 3. Raab loses seat 4. IDS loses seat 5. Any fucking Tory loses seat 6. Kuenssberg demoted to BBC Herts, Beds & Bucks weekend news announcer Let's do this.

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

3 years

Nearly 15 years on from the birth of Brewdog, and people still refuse to accept that there is no 'punk' way of doing beer, burgers, coffee, digital marketing, men's grooming, private equity or cryptocurrency.

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

3 years

Looking forward to being made redundant in a Metaverse meeting room, the news broken to me by a cool porcupine in a Supreme hat.

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

1 year

On Fred Again, authentocracy, appropriation, nostalgia and musical afterlives for @TheFaceMagazine

We need to talk about Fred... Again

Frederick John Philip Gibson hasn’t exactly built his career from the ground up, but his tunes are huge, he has a mega fanbase and he's just been nominated for the Mercury Prize. So, Clive Martin...

theface.com

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

3 years

Hi guys, just checking in. Amazing response so far, WOW. Just wanna say i'm working with some very cool people, trying to make JD Wetherspoon PLC a more intentional business. We're embracing new tech, new ideas, climate stuff and moving further into the NFT-sphere. Speak soon 🤞

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

2 years

Anthony Gordon looks like a character in a WW1 trench drama who spends half the film setting up an arc of hope, pics of his sweetheart, the wedding ring he’s bought etc. Then gets one straight through his tin helmet in the end battle

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

7 years

Would be hilarious if it all went to Dyche's head at Everton - hair plugs, teeth done, matte black Lambo, signs Balotelli and gets divorced

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

2 years

In June 2020 I celebrated my birthday. At my local pub, the curtains were drawn, the jukebox was barred and we had to learn a special knock to get in. There could be no more than 50 people inside, and no dogs. We all made sacrifices, we all behaved responsibly. The PM did not.

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

2 years

This is psychogeography.

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

2 years

Her Majesty is taking Ivermectin, listening to podcasts and looking forward to getting her grindset back on point 💪🔜

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

2 months

Very Trumpian syntax here

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

3 years

This may sound like some terrible rose-tinted millennial reveal, but remember when you could just...do things? Find things? Without booking, or without having to become an amateur behaviourist?

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

3 years

Fascinating thing about anti-lockdown marches is the next door aesthetic. Most protest groups look how you'd imagine them to. Oxford St today appears more like a fire drill at a Tesco Extra in Kent - a totally random cross section of pedestrians. The radicalised normal.

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

6 years

Jordan Pickford is the only keeper I’ve seen play with heart full of hatred and a totally un-cool head and it’s fucking sick

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

1 month

I know a cocaine spaniel when I see one

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@PTRK0161

1 month

@clive_mart1n Could be for bombs?

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

1 year

I’m at table 21, Berghain, Berlin. If anyone wants to buy me a pint on the app

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

4 years

Please do not make jokes about Boris having COVID-19. You may not agree with his politics - but please remember that's 500 secret love-children's father you're talking about.

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

4 years

Tier 3 in London is a usless idea, because most lifestyle Londoners believe they are immortal (and they may well be). The whole experience of living there is predicated on a very tight trade-off between misery and hedonism, and nothing's gonna stop the citizens getting on it.

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

8 months

Jesus, if you’re going to that length to show respect, at least put your fag out for a minute

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

1 year

Watching Cara Delevigne’s (awful) BBC3 sex documentary, and they’re featuring a feminist artist who’s work…has exactly the same typeface/art direction as the Waitrose herb packets

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

6 months

Gonna start a restaurant offering complicated, dishonest dishes with internationally-sourced ingredients and a focus on unsustainable produce.

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

3 years

There's been a lot of focus on NHS staff (and rightly so), but there are so many people just doing what they've always done - with no extra pay, no more job security and any kind of social life denied to them at the end of the day.

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

4 years

Looking forward to getting the vaccine from a 17-year-old squaddie in a dilapidated Brewdog

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

1 year

Here it is. The Vauxhall station piss portal. An urban geyser, brimming over with Neck Oil and nu-gen syphilis. The closest we’ll see to the old Tyburn gallows. All topped off with a jarringly functional Helvetica sign.

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

5 years

Telling my kids this was Laura Kuenssberg

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

10 months

Imagine what Shy FX’s schedule looks like in freshers month

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

8 years

Perhaps the worst thing about this case is using those tragic deaths as ammunition for property development. Absolutely fucking shameful.

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

4 years

The fact that Stephen Fry married an emo is quite overlooked

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

3 years

Bring him home

CFCDaily

@CFCDaily

3 years

BREAKING: Chelsea Football Club announces that, as from 1st July, there will be supporter presence at the Club’s board meetings. #CFC

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

3 years

Can hear a 0/10 house party in the distance. Seems to be less than five people, no female voices detectable. They’ve played ‘This Charming Man’, ‘In Your Head’ and ‘Dakota’ already. It’s 7.45pm

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

4 years

Just seen a middle aged man in Tesco, browsing the aisles in a mask like this and a pair of blue latex gloves. Like something from Manhunter. Incredibly, incredibly bad vibes.

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

5 months

I bit, and wrote this about VICE. How ego, decadence, a Randian obsession with growth, and not knowing what it was good at destroyed the company. But also the fluid, carefree and innately creative atmosphere of the London office in its boom days.

How Vice lost the future

The media company seemed too good to be true. It was.

www.newstatesman.com

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

4 years

Haven’t heard much about the Christmas number one this year. My bet? Captain Tom and Marcus Rashford doing ‘Walk This Way’ over Zoom

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

4 years

2012: "Grimes' boyfriend is playing Shacklewell Arms tonight, fancy it?" 2020: "Grimes' boyfriend is lighting up the sky with a trail of satellites on a quest to improve global broadband coverage, fancy it?"

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

5 months

Absolute cracker of a piece. Oligarchs, fantasists, gangland faces, riverside developments, fraud, death, Mayfair crypto schemes. Pure London noir.

Patrick Radden Keefe

@praddenkeefe

6 months

In 2019, a London teenager named Zac Brettler plummeted to his death from a luxury building on the Thames. This is my story about his parents' effort to solve the mystery of what happened to him - after British authorities gave up on doing so. @NewYorker

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

5 years

Comedown trackies.

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

6 years

Just found myself watching Sky Sports News through the exterior of a pub window. Staring in at news of Didier N'Dong to Watford like it was the Kennedy assassination or some shit

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

3 years

Usually on a night out with a weird hometown crew. Two really nice guys studying for a PHD at King's and their mate who's never been abroad before, goes wild on the relatively cheap beer and leaves the club in a headlock

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

6 months

Put him in a Lyle & Scott wadded gilet and he’ll look like someone the British Transport Police are ‘keen to talk to’ after West Ham - Tottenham

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

3 years

Today is my first day as the lifestyle editor of @MetroUK , and I’m looking for pitches. Whether its a short piece about a new wellness trend, or that longread you’ve always wanted to write - my ears are open.

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

4 years

Lots of chin ups but lots of Tesco IPA's means many of us will coming out of this with physiques like Harvey Keitel in Bad Lieutenant; skinny, fat, hench, aged, lithe, powerful, decrepit, bloated, beautiful, sexual, atrocious, incredible

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

2 years

???

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

10 months

My Topjaw London top 5: Best restaurant: Bill’s, Richmond Best cafe: Leon, Heathrow, T2 Best pub or bar: Pub on The Park Best bakery: GAIL’s, Dulwich Village Best roast: Any!

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

3 years

Turning replies off for this, because there's always a point with this subject when 'two kids, love music, cycling' Twitter starts chiming in with insanely personal anecdotes that only serve to bottom out the discussion and bum you out for the rest of the day

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

8 years

God, Louise fucking Mensch. Honestly.

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

6 years

90% of blokes in guitar bands these days look like they're about to make you 'the best fucking chicken wings in the whole of the Northern Quarter'

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

2 months

Not watched it, but man, this Baby Reindeer guy has such a bad vibe.

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

3 years

Love listening to football podcasters pretending they shave their pubes for the Manscaped dollar

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

3 years

I'm gonna end up as a Champions League FBPE guy at this rate. Singing the theme tune in Parliament Square, waving a Gazprom flag and weeping proudly.

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

7 months

My main take of 2023 is that a lot of people who the culture doesn’t allow to become musicians anymore have become chefs

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

4 years

Wrote something about the fun/dread we had the other day

Here's What Happened When I 'Outed' Myself as Tim Martin's Son

What started as a laugh at British media nepotism quickly became a furious pile-on that revealed a predictability at the heart of social media.

www.vice.com

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

5 years

Every time I try to get a grip on what's happening in the electronic music scene I find myself flying through loads of wild, super-academic lower case discourse and wonder if I should just bite the bullet and become the guy who carries his gf on his shoulders at T In The Park

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

4 years

Full disclosure: my father is the founder and chairman of a nationwide budget pub chain - however it's had nothing to do with my success. If anything it's been a hinderance in the class-obsessed world of the British media.

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

3 years

Watching Barcelona in 2021 is a bit like watching Made in Chelsea in 2021. A jarring mix of ‘who the fuck is that?’ and ‘how the fuck is he still there?’

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Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

2 years

Am I a scab for being on one of the only trains running in the UK? If so, I'm getting my divine punishment; sitting in the fold-down door seat, opposite the bogs, whilst hulking, shirtless Newcastle fans take lusty Budweiser shits about five feet from my head. (Its 10.30am)

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