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The Ape Descendant Profile
The Ape Descendant

@ape_descendent

7,073
Followers
1,967
Following
3,486
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31,408
Statuses

What happens when an unstoppable force hits an immovable object.

Sydney, New South Wales
Joined September 2012
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
1 day
Thirst trap to stem the flow of unfollows after a motor & pet-heavy couple of days...
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
1 year
@NegroAphrodite About 16 years total- give or take. Six married, had to go to NZ for it then
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
2 years
Although it was Naked Gardening Day, I completed my tasks mostly fully clothed.
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
9 months
The bathroom lighting at this resort is too good to resist
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
6 months
Sorry I'm late. I tried to get dry after the shower but the 98% humidity slowed me down.
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
2 years
@the_tweedy
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
6 months
@JCov1 10 years ago it was "kids need to code", "future job prospects in coding". Now there are only like 10 websites left
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
7 months
Husband: Why did it take over an hour for you to clean the coffee machine? Me: my site supervisor kept assigning me more tasks. Husband: Your what?
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
6 months
My days usually begin & end in the same way
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
2 years
Painting chores are done, so I'm allowed a day in the garden
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
7 months
So who's on the menu first?
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
1 year
I've heard a long stem is the way to your heart. (My timeline was too cat/Lego heavy & I was losing followers.)
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
4 months
Post yourself in black immediately...
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@homeisnothere
Howl 🍉
@homeisnothere
4 months
Post yourself in black immediately…
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
5 months
I wake up like this. Now do you.
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
4 years
@5amedi @ghoulcabin "As I live and breathe. Well if it isn't..."
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
3 months
10am and my caulking is done!
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
2 months
Grateful for kind wishes & words. I'm looking forward to a normal day in which nothing really happens. ❤
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
1 month
It is currently this cold
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
2 years
@KonaSlater Saying "the power of Christ compels you" everytime my cat vomits
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
1 year
Mustering the effort to start doing sit ups. Any moment now...
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
1 year
Touching interaction with teenage skateboarder who stopped to talk to the dogs. "Youse gays?" "Yes" "I bashed a cunt for being homophobic once." The children truly are our future.
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
3 months
Not impressed to still be grouting one month later
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
1 year
@meakoopa "Life is cheap for those who can afford it". Terry Pratchett says something similar
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
1 year
POV: You're my bathtub & I'm about to get in to you. 🛁
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The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
3 years
@ForgetHolidays @CouchNish @robcryptx This is Ripley. probably named after the same movie
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
3 months
Is it art?
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
2 months
Guess which station.
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The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
11 days
@townsendyesmate "There's a problem with your Work or School account."
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
10 months
It's a hot one out there today. If you're driving remember you can sunburnt inside the car.
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
4 months
Saturday Night Fun: Kondo'ing my clothes. Although the jorts still spark joy, the time for jort-joy has passed. Thank you for your service.
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
1 year
Two weeks late, but still
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
2 years
It's the place to be
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
4 months
Well I think I know why my neck is sore each morning...
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
11 months
@JayHulmePoet Being a furry is not a sin, is it? Everyone has the right to bear arms.
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
2 years
With @jaronmc
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
1 year
Acceptable wfh attire?
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
2 months
I've been sick
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@drewrhyde
Drew
@drewrhyde
2 months
Enough with the gym progress pics show me your gym regress pics
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
3 months
New rule from The Laird: You must post a thirst-trap before departure.
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
1 year
So lucky to have this cuddly little guy in my life
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
1 year
Slightly different look for last night's Hide. Same Burdekin mirror.
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
1 year
First day in the office 2023. Checking my swipe card works; taking elevator selfies.
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The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
22 days
Not to brag, but I've just done the #SexThing two weekends in a row. It's like I'm a teenager again!
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
2 years
The cat has since moved so now I have no excuse not to get up
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
1 year
#NewProfilePicture & a bit of a rebrand because I need to start using this thing differently
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
1 year
Bit of a trim. Gotta get ready for Friday!
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
2 years
Close to posting hog on main, but... I just don't feel comfortable now; what with the way things are going. Never forget what they took away from you.
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
5 months
Honestly I'm so tired I wouldn't be any good to anyone.
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
1 year
Going on that Pride Bridge Walk. If you see me say hi or offer me coffee.
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
2 years
Brought to you be the colour Red
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
1 year
I want you all to know that if you're chipped, cracked, marked, broken, or come with baggage; if you're heavier than they say you should be / thinner than you'd like; a long-haired boy or just another sexy bald them; then you are probably my kind of person & we can get along. 😘
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
7 months
Night 2 of romantic frogs looking for love... (Needs Sound. )
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
1 year
Last photo from today, i promise. Me & the dog enjoying Fair Day in Sydney.
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
1 year
Finally at Fair Day, and so happy to have all three of us here.
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
8 months
Found footage of me exercising from eons ago & I was shocked by the strength & size I've lost. I recreated it, hoping it would help me see myself through someone else's eyes. Alas, it just emphasizes what I once had.
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
1 year
Arm sort of worked here, right
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
1 year
Left the mower in the sun; now it's too hot to touch. Surely I can have a cold one now. ☀️
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
2 months
Day 2: Why WOULD I even want to move from this spot?
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
10 months
About to go in...
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
3 months
Home. With clean, fresh grout.
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
2 months
Today, after 33 years together & being engaged for 18, my oldest friends who are my gay coupling role models got married & I am absolutely beside myself with joy! 🎊🥳🥂
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
2 years
Different venue, different mirror, same harness. Earth shattering.
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
11 months
Friday. Probably due to post a picture of myself again.
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
2 months
Can you believe they were throwing this out?
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
4 months
About to watch Dune 2. Psyched to sit still for 3 hours in the middle of the day. Wish me luck.
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
1 year
If you're a fan of 4-day weeks you're in for a treat!
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
3 months
Why yes, @sailorgordo really is a full foot taller than me
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
3 months
One thing I love for a Saturday night is being yelled at because I'm not vacuuming fast enough. Absolutely love that. It's like a fetish for me.
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
1 month
Ordinarily for the 5pm meeting with bosses I put on the business shirt that hangs up next to me, sit up straight & pretend everything's okay. Today they got this. There was an audible gasp.
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
10 months
Is this a Before photo or an After photo?
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
2 years
#Tired . Let's go back to bed
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
2 years
I'm always looking for new people to follow & usually check my new followers' accounts- but so many bots lately! If you're human who thinks I should follow you let me know
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@ape_descendent
The Ape Descendant
@ape_descendent
2 months
Laying here numb, fragile, exhausted after last night's serious manic episode ended at 5am with me being taken to bed in tears. It's been many years. Terrified this may become regular. My kitchen is very clean. That's one thing.
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