Andrew @acvarley Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

@PisSpiro

@lyalmtwkl2

@RuralNetworkNI

@LastreetTV

@osaka_Cleopatra

@sihagi00001

@NPHSDragons

@Lafayetteallen6

@stwmaniax

@Air_Valencia

@_DragonsOfEden

@hahalabubu

@LoDa32061673

@vml_global

@HottieBee88

@ci_nth0

@AlenaM63879

@juliamarzochi

@raahilmvd

@13octoberrust

@bokeplokalmalam

@sabilaaaaa

@stwmaniax

@perulytics

@BinorRaja

@GLynchRacing

@di3tc0ke69

@stwmaniax

@bokeplokalmalam

@N_Picht

@BroccoliGunpowd

@wtbear_214

@CdPlatformu07

@laremgmt

Andrew

@acvarley

2 years

@AnxiousRage @JonMSingletary @ComrieQuinn @MediumSizeMeech Man's got to have an option to walk home if he can't get a cab, or a flying unicorn.

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Andrew

@acvarley

1 year

@Jennieebabie @Scientits Or for us 50+ people

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Andrew

@acvarley

2 years

@JohnCleese You sold it to Netflix mate. I remember coming to your house when I was young. My dad was your builder. You were very nice to me, even though I had no idea who you were (I was 10) Be that John Cleese, not the angry one we see here. Have a lovely day.

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Andrew

@acvarley

3 years

@MonicaCarmean @AndrewHilaryUS Haha, I worked somewhere similar in England. We took a goat in part payment for a motorcycle.

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Andrew

@acvarley

4 years

@Lenniesaurus @ullistudy @AITA_reddit More un-engaging 😉

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Andrew

@acvarley

2 years

@redford We had a cat disappear for 12 weeks once. Much sadness. Turned out that the people 4 doors down had gone on a once in a lifetime holiday to Australia and put her in a cattery. Cats: man's oldest foe

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Andrew

@acvarley

2 years

@piersmorgan Piers, you're responsible for some of this.

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Andrew

@acvarley

1 year

@Telegraph Hello, disabled person here. Without disability living allowance I wouldn't be able to have a motability car, and my life would be mainly bed bound. I'm not currently on out of work benefits, but my income protection insurance runs out soon, and it looks more likely I will be

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Andrew

@acvarley

2 years

@inhumANthropoid @ask_aubry I'm guessing him being too big isn't the problem.

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Andrew

@acvarley

3 years

@Rhoniedotcom @BigIssue @Marina_Sirtis It's the most socialist ideal ever. Free healthcare, free education, everyone works for the benefit of society, no money, no greed.

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Andrew

@acvarley

5 years

@Kendallleigh11 @trustednerd Yup, 24 hours earlier

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Andrew

@acvarley

2 years

@ask_aubry PENNIS!

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Andrew

@acvarley

1 year

@plushgirlsteph @Realitycounts7 "learn explosives"

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Andrew

@acvarley

1 year

@ask_aubry Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

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Andrew

@acvarley

2 years

@ask_aubry I have short hair and don't wear a bra, is it me? (I am a 52 year old man)

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Andrew

@acvarley

2 years

@jonoread I'm getting the ferry to Sydney tomorrow then.

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Andrew

@acvarley

11 months

@ask_aubry Solid dad work. I will be having similar discussions with my son on how to treat a date, and how you should expect to be treated. At the moment he's all "ew, dates, yuk" stage, so I've not got to do it yet

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Andrew

@acvarley

6 years

@thecatreviewer one for you? Looks like a 10/10 for haircut alone

Athletico Mince

@AthleticoMince

6 years

Albanian Cobbler

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Andrew

@acvarley

3 years

@kidcobbler @DocumentsC @Alan_McGuinness He's wearing shoes. SHOES

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Andrew

@acvarley

9 months

@edmondo66 @Darren_wiles @LeeAndersonMP_ @Ldj42notout Because he won't be getting an MP's salary after next year? ;-)

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Andrew

@acvarley

3 years

@stuartctaylor @jamieeast This house will become a shrine, and punks and skins and rastas will all gather round and hold their hands in sorrow for their fallen leader. And all the grown-ups will say: "But why are the kids crying?" And the kids will say: "Haven't you heard?! The People's Poet is dead!"

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Andrew

@acvarley

2 years

@fuckyouiquit Anna. At least I wouldn't look so basic when the other 5 got me.

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Andrew

@acvarley

2 years

@ask_aubry These?

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Andrew

@acvarley

3 years

Saw one of these in the Tesco Barnsley car park today. One for you @Carpervert @ChodSpot @CitroenCX

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Andrew

@acvarley

4 years

Hi @torybruno this just arrived in the post. All the way to the north of England. I like it.

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Andrew

@acvarley

5 years

@trustednerd That's not the format Twitter send those messages. They always name the account you report. Always.

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Andrew

@acvarley

3 years

I love this. @nameshiv delivers again. A bit like the rice lorries.

The Regency Gardens Hostage Crisis - Open Space

openspace.sfmoma.org

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Andrew

@acvarley

4 years

@DomestosUK Never inject it either.

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Andrew

@acvarley

11 months

@Cain_Unable I just read that out loud to all the passengers on my bus. They all applauded.

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Andrew

@acvarley

5 years

@KateHerrose90 @trustednerd Kate, thanks for the sense on this matter.

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Andrew

@acvarley

1 year

@DannyDutch @MysteriosoX Jimmy Savile too

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Andrew

@acvarley

2 years

@kelvmackenzie Kelvin love, come and visit my wife. She works far more than is good for her, has to deal with many pupil problems, and is considering leaving teaching after 25 years. You'll understand what teaching is after that.

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Andrew

@acvarley

1 year

@fleMitchfilm Succession is made by the same people that made Peep Show. I'm waiting for superhands to pop up

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Andrew

@acvarley

1 year

Hiya, @CI5BDC thought you might like this. My dad knew a printer in the 80s who had done thousands of these bags, we got hundreds as there was some kind of error, and they were lunch bags for my entire school life.

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Andrew

@acvarley

3 years

@adswilliwonder @ChristieSmythe @chton @unfortunatalie @ZiziFothSi He uses excuses to get out of date night. Like "sorry honey, I'm in prison tonight"

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Andrew

@acvarley

2 years

@ask_aubry What the actual fuck? In the bin with him

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Andrew

@acvarley

5 years

@redditships Yeah, that's a white power church

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Andrew

@acvarley

3 years

@such_hockey_wow @redditships She's not fed up with him investing. He's basically gambling. I'd bin him, totally

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Andrew

@acvarley

3 years

@NedHartley @BBCBreaking It's beautiful, great grandma's nickname and grandma's first name. Lovely.

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Andrew

@acvarley

3 years

@StarTrekOnPPlus Not on Netflix in the UK though. Thanks for that.

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Andrew

@acvarley

5 years

@MJtheProphet @mmoyr Metric is at least sensible. 1kg of pure water=1 litre 1 litre of pure water = fits in a 10 X 10 X 10 cm cube So you have mass, volume and distance all from 1 litre of water

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Andrew

@acvarley

1 year

@PetronellaWyatt How many kidneys do they require you deposit?

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Andrew

@acvarley

2 years

@simonharris_mbd Spectacular! Thanks to you and @Nigel_Farage making the channel safer for migrants

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Andrew

@acvarley

4 years

@redditships Yup, there's a mass shooting waiting to happen. If it was on a different thread, I'd say YTA

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Andrew

@acvarley

1 year

@ask_aubry I'm not l now going to refer to my car as my mechanical uterus

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Andrew

@acvarley

3 years

@LastWordOnSpurs

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Andrew

@acvarley

3 years

@AndrejNkv @MysteriosoX That tube train is London underground's corporate colours with the dark blue stripe for the Piccadilly Line. Am I missing something?

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Andrew

@acvarley

3 years

@AITA_reddit And thank you for the hours of entertainment. I'm not forgetting Jen either, her work is great.

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Andrew

@acvarley

4 years

@AccountAita @AITA_reddit No sex life with that prose. Definitely

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Andrew

@acvarley

3 years

@Dishoom @demarionunn Fantastic customer service Shamil

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Andrew

@acvarley

2 years

@GlasgowRKSpurs @tehTrunk "He's got to hold and give But do it at the right time. He can be slow or fast But he must get to the line. They'll always hit him and hurt him, Defend and attack. There's only one way to beat them: Get round the back." Oh, you said new "world" order.

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Andrew

@acvarley

2 years

@sophielouisecc Sophie, you're just repeating yourself now. Please, get out of the house, go look at the sky, the clouds, the grass. Be free! You're young, you have your whole life in front of you, and hate will only take you so far. Embrace positivity, love, and happiness.

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Andrew

@acvarley

1 year

@thejb_stan @Fixermaxxer He would meet with his KGB contact in my old local pub.

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Andrew

@acvarley

4 years

@Tigaseye @rowena_bentley @CorrinePriest @TfL @MPSHendon Ah, the short skirt defence. She did not bring this upon herself. She is not responsible for his reaction. She should not have to feel threatened for speaking on the phone.

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Andrew

@acvarley

5 years

@mh_oxford @KenDBerryMD I seed what you did there

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Andrew

@acvarley

1 year

@Rising_Mahratta @RpsAgainstTrump Here he is about to whip it out in the Borat movie

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Andrew

@acvarley

1 year

@DaveAtherton20 @simonharris_mbd @GoldingBF What if a British child gets caught on an inflatable in a rip tide, and there's nobody to rescue them? How many deaths would you like to see if the RNLI was underfunded?

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Andrew

@acvarley

3 years

@JB_CFFire @HKane @England Here you go

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Andrew

@acvarley

4 years

@HuntedTeamNick @wills_mclellan @nickeardleybbc He would have messed it up and rather than redacting it, he would have made it all in 18pt comic sans.

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Andrew

@acvarley

3 years

@guardian Thanks Sir Clive. I've been using the skills I learned from the zx80, zx81 and spectrum to be able to listen to hardcore industrial music, or as we knew it, the noise that Jet Set Willy made as it was loading.

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Andrew

@acvarley

10 months

@SteveBarclay @WCL_News @nationaltrust @Natures_Voice @WildlifeTrusts @WWTworldwide @WoodlandTrust @WWF The rivers were cleaner 13 years ago before your government took over. Well done

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Andrew

@acvarley

1 year

@TheBembridge @DrMatthewSweet Ah, just the editor, writer and fact checker.

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Andrew

@acvarley

2 years

I got my 20 year long service award last night. Thank you to all the leaders that made me who I am, and all the scouts who have made being a leader so much fun. @scouts @4thWoodGreen @PBESU_ @barnsleyscouts

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Andrew

@acvarley

2 years

Hi @torybruno and @ulalaunch The package of swag you sent had been delivered. My scouts will go crazy when they see how generous you've been. Hopefully we'll inspire one or two of them to do engineering at university, and come and work for you one day. Thanks so much.

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Andrew

@acvarley

4 years

@MEPFuller Where are all of the not police officers from the BLM protests? You know, the ones bristling with guns and no I.D.? I'll give you three guesses. Beating whitey is a bad optic.

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Andrew

@acvarley

11 months

@CaptainSensible @thedamned Wonderful. The first time I've ever been pleased that anyone has scabies

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Andrew

@acvarley

2 years

@ask_aubry I hope the mother enjoys a solitary Christmas

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Andrew

@acvarley

1 year

@Pensandpages @svdate This is page 2 of 46

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Andrew

@acvarley

5 years

@redditships What job requires tinder? International man prostitute?

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Andrew

@acvarley

2 years

@ask_aubry Stealing items is the sign of a perfec.. Who am I kidding, this is the stalker zone

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Andrew

@acvarley

1 year

@ShinyShep @DrHannahBB I can imagine you doing that. I bet the security person regretted their life choices.

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Andrew

@acvarley

1 year

@MilkingFreeMan @AJemaineClement Try Wales and Scotland. Both parts of Great Britain, but both also have bilingual signs. Nothing wrong with that.

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Andrew

@acvarley

2 years

@jawairia_thfc @thespursweb North London is ours, north London is ours, fuck off back to Woolwich, north London is ours

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Andrew

@acvarley

5 years

@Lucy_Worsley @WhenIsBirths The man needs to sort himself out. Everyone needs Lucy in their lives and on their bookshelves.

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Andrew

@acvarley

4 years

@eliistender10 It seems a lot of the replies on this are unaware that Harold is a character from Captain Underpants, and Dog Man exists, as books from the wonderful Dav Pilkey. My son makes me do different voices for all the characters as I read them to him.

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Andrew

@acvarley

1 year

@ask_aubry I don't get it. My gender is a bin fire.

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Andrew

@acvarley

5 years

@rchildfree @redditships Earplugs. Done.

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Andrew

@acvarley

2 years

@fesshole I was once an electrician and I got sent to a house that had been done by a cowboy. The walls buzzed and got warm, and lights would randomly cut out. The bloke had partially wired the ring main with bell wire

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Andrew

@acvarley

2 years

@HazeyDaisey17 @ask_aubry Faillatio

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Andrew

@acvarley

2 years

@harryjan @BethMorrey Nope. I'm guessing that they knew bankruptcy was coming (hence the building being sold by the receivers) and granted themselves the most bastard tenancy to get them out of the house.

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Andrew

@acvarley

5 years

@MJtheProphet @mmoyr And, yes, I'm fun at parties.

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Andrew

@acvarley

2 years

@flamencolambada Lovely for a cup of cough-ee

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Andrew

@acvarley

3 years

@such_hockey_wow @AITA_online I still like him.

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Andrew

@acvarley

2 years

Hi @torybruno , my scouts are doing their astronautics badge, is there any chance you could send us some swag? Please and thank you, obviously, we're British.

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Andrew

@acvarley

5 years

@KenDBerryMD Show me a peer reviewed study. Or experiments that are repeatable. Y'know, science.

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Andrew

@acvarley

3 years

@mumsnet_madness Report yourself to HR for harassment retraining

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Andrew

@acvarley

2 years

@BBCBreaking Maybe @thameswater should have fixed the leaks, rather than paying obscene bonuses and dividends.

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Andrew

@acvarley

4 years

@danwootton What happened to "be nice"?

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Andrew

@acvarley

4 years

@cntslpatnte @donwinslow @Yahoo The US attorney said he's not letting anyone off

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Andrew

@acvarley

1 year

@NASASpaceflight GAME OVER - ROUTINE MAINTENANCE REQUIRED!!! HAS ELON GONE TOO FAR?

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Andrew

@acvarley

1 year

@dream__thieves @ask_aubry Me too. Tramadol, pregabalin and naproxen. I've never hit my wife, not even playfully.

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Andrew

@acvarley

2 years

@Messiahofshadow @BBCNews He got the minimum sentence under the sentencing guidelines. The judge said so in his summing up.

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Andrew

@acvarley

4 years

Twitter mates, I'm having a spinal fusion today. See you on the other side x

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Andrew

@acvarley

4 years

I moved out of this flat in Sheffield 12 years ago. I left the pinata in the window. Went past the olds flat today on the way to my dentist. It's still there.

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Andrew

@acvarley

2 years

@GBNoobs @Telibarb @lmharpin @REWearmouth Hooray for Beaver Scouts

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Andrew

@acvarley

10 months

@ManMadeMoon It's going to get better after the next election hopefully

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Andrew

@acvarley

3 years

@LibraryCreepDL @Mike_Pence They were trying to cancel Mike with that noose.

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Andrew

@acvarley

11 months

@ask_aubry Blimey, he's a catch

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Andrew

@acvarley

1 year

@ask_aubry NTA, I've had a lodger like this. I'd rearrange the dining room or living room (IN MY OWN HOUSE) go out to lectures or work, and when I came home everything would be back where it was before is moved it. Sofas, TV, tables, bookshelves. All the furniture.

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Andrew

@acvarley

2 years

@brianwhelton @MysteriosoX My dad used to make me do this when I was 7. He was rewiring our old Victorian house. I've never liked confined spaces since.

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