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Ted Lasso Profile
Ted Lasso

@SpursTedLasso

460
Followers
395
Following
1,795
Media
20,537
Statuses

Cock on a ball, they put that shit on everything

White Hart Lane
Joined July 2017
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Pinned Tweet
@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
3 years
Lowkey hate that this Ted Lasso show has become so popular Trash ass phony bandwagon Ted burners popping up everywhere, bots galore I was here when Ted was just a f*cking NBC Sports commercial Back when Sudeikis was still bangin ole girl Olivia Simpler times, better times
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
3 years
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
3 years
@barstoolsports Definitely adding landwhales to my vocabulary, thank you barstool comment section, very cool!
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
4 years
A story in two parts @OldTakesExposed $GME
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
6 years
You versus the girl he tells you not to worry about
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
5 years
@BarstoolBigCat Don’t worry atleast @AnnaKendrick47 unfollowed
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
1 year
@dennyhamlin @NASCAR Oh simmer down, you just know the Aussie is gonna dogwalk you in the wet
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
3 years
Ninja this is undoubtedly your best work yet
@PitchingNinja
Rob Friedman
3 years
Lance Lynn Beer K Strut. 🍺
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
5 years
@BuschBeer 99% of the people upset with you guys are aware of this, it’s the principle that you apparently agree with the opinions and actions of @DMRegister instead of showing support for Carson King. Your choice, InBev and AB blew it and alienated your core customer. Best of luck.
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
3 years
@soonergridiron Remember when he picked Baylor to win the Big 12 and they went literally 0-12
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
1 year
“I went to journalism school and gained $100k in student debt just so I can sit in my studio apartment and stalk NASCAR drivers on instagram like an unhinged jealous spouse” You aren’t a journalist. You’re a bum. We all see right through you.
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
4 years
@CitronResearch Your wife’s boyfriend bought 5,000 shares of $GME with me just being honest
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
3 years
@Stadium No that’s just what $3-500k gets you in a lovely & charming flyover state unlike the dumbasses on the coast paying $750k for a shanty
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
3 years
@ColHSanders @KyleKoster Which one of you did this lmao
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
4 years
@BarstoolBigCat On behalf of all other tottenham fans I’d just like to point out that we do not claim this guy at all
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
3 years
@PFF_College They truly were a Gus Johnson wet dream that year
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
2 years
@CallingOurShot Chalkboard doesn’t work, you’re the man but can we please just skip this marketing hassle today lol
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
3 years
I think the only person who cusses more than me is Lance Lynn and that’s such an accomplishment
@PitchingNinja
Rob Friedman
3 years
Lance F'n Lynn, Filthy 88mph Cutter (and mouth). 😂 I'm dying at @jasonbenetti 's "Oh." 🤣😂
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
3 years
@acaseofthegolf1 Something about still being at a craps table at 6:45 AM that really makes you take a look around at your surroundings and wonder what the hell you’re doing with your life lol
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
2 years
@KeganReneau This guy up against B1G defenses will be painful to watch
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
3 years
@soonergridiron @trevor_knight9 This man would’ve been the most horrifying pledge trainer in history
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
6 years
@jeff_gluck I know it’s the Dawsonville horn but tell me Chase’s doesn’t look like a fleshlight
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
1 year
@DrJesseMorse No freaking out yet? So I should cancel my afternoon suicide appointment?
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
4 years
@Jordan_Bianchi @bobpockrass Love that he kept the American flag mask too. Showing people this is a more complicated issue than just “This way or that way”
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
1 year
@Lionel_Hutz_Esq @kayiveyforgov @espn She’s a bigot for protecting women’s sports? For actual women? As a woman herself?
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
3 years
@GottliebShow “Competitive”
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
4 years
@starbucksgirl51 @AndySlater @SHRTampa @SHRTPoker @MDTonyB 1) what are you, poor? A coward? $50 on a bet? This is a degenerate thread, step your game up if you want to create a clever comeback 2) FL and GA been open for 3.5-4 weeks now, cases still lowering, so you already lost. I take CashApp or Venmo
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
10 months
@stevebullard @blinkinriley Literally have been unable to find the ball on about 4 plays already. I’ve seen 1 man high school camera crews with more awareness
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
10 months
@MenInBlazers I mean the BALL hit his outstretched HAND so uhhhhh?
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
3 years
@stoolpresidente @BusinessInsider @mjnblack congrats on your 4 years of intense journalism school just so that you can spend the rest of your life DMing random girls on insta for your “hit pieces” lmao
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
3 years
@brad_will12 @jkay641 @bpmclellan @FanDuel Absolute cheddar versus the CPU. Then you play online where everyone user controls the LB and you get picked faster than Nathan Peterman in his prime lol
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
3 years
Caleb Williams to Ole Miss is a wet dream that I am willing to believe until I get my heart broken
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
2 years
@BarstoolBigCat Dude Hank won this situation hands down. Ria clowned herself
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
1 year
@bobpockrass Good answer, he’s learning
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
1 year
@Eddie_Rado Personally I prefer 9 AM Pacific but I could be convinced with 10 AM Mountain tbh
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
1 year
Today’s #CloutChop Recap: -42.35U 3-26 record. Needed an Almirola implosion to avoid being 1-27. A $100 per unit loyal follower would be out $4,235 today. Don’t worry about Chop though - he’s down nothing but Monopoly money.
@DirtyMoMedia
Dirty Mo Media
1 year
Good morning from the Chopper! 🌅 Here are his picks for today's race at New Hampshire. Show us your bets below!
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
3 years
@wagon_sports @barstoolsports @PardonMyTake Nope, he’s not a troll. He’s not being weird on purpose. He’s just a fucking goob What you’re saying requires the person to actually understand humor & irony, which Bryson obviously does not
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
2 years
@515bobwhite @UnnecRoughness Bro put respect on the @Outback Bowl. Bloomin Onion top 5 app in the universe
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
6 years
@RedditCFB This seems like a great question for @ESPNBooger but I think he’s still working on an excuse for the #1 total defense in the country giving up 62 points today
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
2 years
@RedDirtSport ZERO qualms about getting myself a sugar momma and playing golf 5 days a week until I have a mid 50’s heart attack
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
4 years
@BooSuspended @ClayTravis I hate the circle jerk but Ole Miss was also down an All American WR, fantastic TE in Yebo, starting RB Ealy, prob second best WR in Braylon Sanders. And as an Ole Miss fan, the starting defense is juco level at best and Sarah Fuller would be an improvement at kicker
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
3 years
@KFCBarstool @JNics415 This camera work makes OG Cloverfield seem like a cinematic masterpiece
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
3 years
@barstoolsports @DogWalkBarstool #3 completely ruined by that stupid ass sign and city that nobody gives af about
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
2 years
@UnnecRoughness 0:20-0:40 are three of my favorite Gus Johnson calls of all time
@JackMacCFB
Jack McGuire
8 years
Here are all 17 (!!!!!) TeDe's that DeDe Westbrook scored this year:
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
5 years
@BuschBeer Wow, I expected this PC warrior horseshit from Heineken, or maybe Corona, but you guys? Absolutely disgusting what InBev has done to America’s greatest beer company, Anheuser Busch used to have a backbone. #CarsonKingisAHero
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
3 years
@SNFRules “Sportsmanship” virtue signaling from folks like you and rules officials are absolute cancers to the game. I don’t want a coach who’s a “sportsman” I want a coach who’s a winner, and the entire world should feel the same. This isn’t U11 soccer, 5mm+ eyeballs were on this game
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
4 years
@JohnCooper4Nash @NashvilleHealth John, buddy, was such a big fan.... where have you gone wrong? It’s the government’s duty to protect my rights, it’s my own duty to protect my health. The constitution never guaranteed anyone health and safety, just our freedom to do as we choose. It’s our choice to take the risk
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
3 years
@Cody1Coker @KeithCarterOM Like I get why they swapped for the $$$$ seats in the SEZ club but freaking LET THE STUDENTS TAKE THE AWAY SECTION IN THE SOUTHEAST CORNER NOBODY should be sitting in the clambake hell that is the NEZ besides OPPOSING FANS
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
1 year
@UnnecRoughness Oh look Brandon hating on Oklahoma, what an interesting never-before-seen surprise from him!
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
4 years
@ClayTravis Tennessee is not double digits better than any member of the SEC... maybe -11.5 for Vandy at home lol
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
2 years
@BussinWTB @NASCAR @DaleJr Fellas at this point with all the heavy tow fees you’ve paid how have you not just completely replaced the drivetrain on ole girl yet?
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
3 years
@stoolpresidente @BussinWTB Gotta hire some better nerds for the app in general... main reason I won’t leave DK for BSSB. That and the weak SGP options
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
3 years
@johnehoover @soonergridiron Defense wasn’t the problem today anyways. Lincoln is just soft and the team plays off that. He also needs to swallow his pride and hire a damn OC to handle the play calling just like Kiffin has done
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
4 years
@FactsNascar Ruch, Decker, Iwuji in a 40 car field that has about what, 10 other anxious ass teenagers? And 2 cups drivers that are starting midpack? What have we done to deserve this kind of entertainment? Poor GMS owner got 5 trucks in it too, if I was him I’d start drinking now
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
2 years
@BussinWTB The best part of this game was driving full speed to the edge of the map and just watching it launch you like a ragdoll straight back to the middle lol
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
10 months
Austin Hill and Andy Petree, hell ALL OF @RCRracing outside of Sheldon Creed should be ashamed of themselves. Pathetic children. No wonder @TylerReddick left you guys high and dry. Amateur organization. Childish behavior. Pathetic group of people.
@DustinAlbino
Dustin Albino
10 months
Austin Hill directed his displeasure towards Sheldon Creed's crew chief Jeff Stankiewicz on his walk to the care center. Stankiewicz shouted that he doesn't drive the car.
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
3 years
@ClayTravis So happy I don’t live in gestapo hell
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
1 year
Enjoy that low 5-figure check from Toyota and your 5 minutes of fame you rat NARC
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
8 months
So proud of @OleMissBSB - turning a profit in college baseball is basically impossible. Down year for the team performance wise too. Still came out in the black.
@ChaseParham
Chase Parham
8 months
#OleMiss reported the following net profits (or losses) in these sports for fiscal year 2023: Football: $12,301,036 Men's Basketball: $-3,673,921 Women's Basketball: $-8,394,594 Baseball: $166,126 More here for subs:
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
3 years
@RazorbackBSB Ahahahahahhahahshahahahahahshshshahhahshshahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahshhashhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahhahahaahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahaha
@OleMissBSB Remember being up 11 against Arkansas??? Then we came back and won 18-14… Do a tweet about that, or maybe a tiktok…. Ole Miss is a fucking joke.
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
9 months
@TicTacTitans Thank God for Will Levis. Holy shit I could not have survived an entire season of this. Nor could our WR corps
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
3 years
Trick question - either option ends in the water for me
@acaseofthegolf1
Monday Q Info
3 years
Around 230 into slight breeze. Go or lay up?
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
11 months
@RacerThreads Hmmmmm I wonder why the organizational leaders of ASA who’ve been around racing forever would side with the magical, yet simple common sense viewpoint of “don’t stand on a hot track” 🤔
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
4 years
@danhpeters @ohiorunner15 @davebriggstv @GovNedLamont Don’t worry Danny boy, I’m sure the big bad Rona won’t get you in mommy’s basement Make sure to duck tape the doors, can’t let any sunlight in! The Rona travels along the UV Rays!
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
3 years
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
4 years
@ByPatForde @MizzouAthletics Pat, do you have any real life friends? Not your kid’s friend’s parents. I mean like actual people who care about you that aren’t obligated to due to family relation
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
3 years
@KoneSpear @BoardGeniuses Oh man thank you for this warning, my dumbass would do the same thing and think I’m being the smart guy
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
3 years
@1prince_adjei @Geraldini93 I mean fuck thank God for Brkic otherwise we listen
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
3 years
@RedditCFB Oh there’s more
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
11 months
@barstoolsports @GrimlockOU @ColinCowherd SUP YA FUCKIN CUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
1 year
@jeff_gluck It’s a total joke… Fountain Club shut down both food and beer service (supposed to be all inclusive), then told everyone to leave the safe COVERED STRUCTURE and that race is cancelled. Not leaving track, but absolutely appalled by @NASCAR here. This is “your” track. RUN IT.
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
2 years
@DylanHolland_DH @daletanhardt What a time, they used to treat us as conscious adults
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
2 years
Not a single person in the WORLD is laughing *WITH* A&M I have never seen a group of people be so miserable in my entire life that they’ve literally managed to unite the entire SEC + OU and Texas. You’re all losers. Period. The whole world hates that shithole program
@mattywatty01
Matt Bohmfalk
2 years
The way rival fans are going after A&M right now tells you all you need to know. They saw what everyone else saw. Conner is what we hoped (and they feared) he'd be. There's a healthy level of concern among our enemies now that everyone knows we have a quarterback.
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
2 years
Anyone offended by this should be apologizing for being a goldfish of a human. Shit was funny as Fuck
@Daniel_Rapaport
Dan Rapaport
2 years
Tiger was ready for the tampon question—he apologized to anyone he offended, said it wasn’t his intention and that it was just a joke between he and JT.
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
4 years
@darrenrovell @ToddFuhrman Darren please remind your wife I’ll be over to pick her up later - forgot to text her before I left home. Thanks buddy!
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
3 years
@jonp1_ @NASCAR @jayski @TylerReddick @TooToughToTame Somebody was saying they’ve got some sort of heavy ass hub sensors on all 4 wheels during these tests, makes the car much slower than it would be in reality
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
3 years
@danabeers For your sake I pray to God it’s Oxford Better to be inside the walls of a Sandals resort in a 3rd world country than outside the walls, that’s forsure
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
3 years
@chrisinstpete @BarstoolMintzy Coming from an OU fan… paying Lincoln $12mil when Dave Aranda - former LSU man & current owner of Lincoln Riley - is available would be absolutely asinine. He makes $4mm at Baylor. Pay him $6.5-7mm and give him the supposed extra $5.5mm to hire the greatest staff ever created
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
3 years
@MarkTurner0920 @NateSilver538 So Mark if I’ve already survived the plague myself, why should I be required to vaccinate against something my body is immune to? You couldn’t possibly tell me a vaccine strengthens the immune system more than having the actual damn virus
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
2 years
@A_S12 @NASCAR @SBJ @GettyImages Incoming comments from people that have zero idea how much $100mm in free cash flow means in this interest rate environment. Will put a massive dent in the monthly debt servicing. Opens up cash for better TV $ split with teams, track renovations at other ex-ISC tracks, etc
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
5 years
@olemissparent Today might be the first time I’ve ever seen a person be xenophobic about out-of-staters lol but sure let’s just say fuck all the out of state kids and the tuition money they bring. I guess Memphis kids should get the boot too? They come from TERRIFYING Tennessee! The horror!
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
1 year
@bobpockrass Just like they “looked” at the cars involved in the Truex caution and let them remain ahead of all those behind them
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
4 years
@JohnCooper4Nash Nobody believes a word you say anymore John, have a great Saturday looking like a Kroger brand Patton Oswalt Give our city to Governor Lee already, we need an actual pair of nuts in office
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
4 years
@QB1TATT00 @soonergridiron Always fun explaining to the casuals that no, this is not Adrian Peterson lol
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
1 year
@nocontextcfb $25 digital antenna at Walmart. Crystal clear HD, every single local channel for free anytime you want it. Idk how people have forgotten about them, never sweated a cable dispute in my life
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
1 year
Not only did all 14 members vote to add OU and Texas, but your precious Aubies are literally one of the 9 cowards that are preventing us from keeping those yearly rivalries. Step 1) Look in the mirror before blaming others. Step 2) Educate yourself before Twitter ranting.
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@mqriggins
Madison Riggins
1 year
literally no one - not a soul - asked for Texas and Oklahoma to come, much less cause teams to lose a permanent rival.
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
3 years
@OleMissFB Can’t wait to beat Kroger brand Mississippi State this weekend while I’m stuck in Aggie infested Houston
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
3 years
@NASCAR @KevinHarvick That gets him equal with Chase, he’s still owed for what he did to @DaleJr and others at Talladega in 2015
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
6 years
@jeff_gluck One of the more underrated paint schemes of the 2000’s
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
3 years
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
10 months
LFG MAYO KING #TitanUp
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
3 years
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@ClayTravis
Clay Travis
3 years
The Colts are now reportedly chasing Jimmy G. Give me your best analogy on the Colts moving from Carson Wentz to Jimmy G.
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
4 years
@mattbilinsky @ClayTravis Matt I drove to another county Sunday to have a fabulous dine in meal. It was delicious - beer after beer, bite after bite, all just tasted that much more delicious knowing I was pissing off people like you. Top ten meals of my life.
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
11 months
Sup ya socal puss pop @MattLeinartQB
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
4 years
@rubbinisracing Not only a snitch but this guy had the audacity to say that DALE EARNHARDT JR is a “cancer” to nascar lmaoooo
@MyNameisBigCam
cameron davidson
7 years
For a while now @nascar has been plagued by a couple very rare cancers named @DaleJr and @DanicaPatrick . Tomorrow those Cancers will be cured and Nascar can begin rehabilitation. #MakingNascarCancerFreeAgian
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
4 years
@Browns Not having a triple covered OBJ as his first read every play now prob helps
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
2 years
@Goopstein1 @barstoolsports @DrinkBODYARMOR @StoolGametime 1) Mario Party (all of them) 2) Mario Kart 64 3) Super Mario 64 4) NFL Blitz 5) Goldeneye 6) Smash Bros 7) Destruction Derby 64 Honorable Mention: Army Men (all of them)
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
1 year
@GNev2 18 points clear!!!
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
3 years
@RedditCFB All from one weekend LMAO
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@SpursTedLasso
Ted Lasso
5 years
@EliHoward5 @TTUCoachWells @kirbyhocutt @kennedyBrooks26 As someone who was more than pissed while watching it live, takes a big man to apologize like this. Earned my respect 100%
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