Right after Eddie won,
@KFCBarstool
and
@FeitsBarstool
told me that they themselves are giving me $10k for making it as far as I did.
They’re literally the best bosses/mentors in the world, I’m so beyond grateful for them. Makes the loss hurt a lot less, thank you both so much
I saw Robbie in Duane Reade staring off into the distance with a stick of deodorant in his hand yesterday and this makes it all make so much more sense
I think texting brings me a lot of anxiety because one time when I was 13, a boy texted me "Heyyy" and I responded with "Ahoy Matey" and then never got a text back
Why isn’t there a word for having to pee. Like there’s a word for hungry, thirsty, tired, but not one for “I have to pee” which is honestly a mouthful and awkward to say. So, I’m going to make “bladdered” a thing, and I’m going to make it my legacy.
We are running a JACQUED UP challenge. Send you best impressions of
@j_nics
Jacqued Up vids to
@kfcradio
using the Pillow Face IG filter ()
Best vids get featured, winner gets free merch
We hit the road for Boston at 9 AM tomorrow and Jackie is doing car bombs while destroying pint glasses. Does she make it? (Unreal move to slide it to the waiter like nothing was wrong tho)
Once again, I think that overtime should be a field-goal off (like PK’s in soccer), but the kicker isn’t allowed to kick, it has to be just all the regular players kicking
"Go fuck your top 10 list you pig" was not the first words I was expecting from Sandy when I asked to have sex on our 34 years married morning, but ok.
If you’re the cute guy that saw me walk out into the middle of traffic and then get trapped in the middle of the street while cars passed on either side of me, but then laughed with me about it for like three minutes when I made my way back… sup
Mr. Vattakkattu, on behalf of KFC, I’d like to apologize. The balance of last night’s chicken fried again today is unacceptable. It was
@JNics415
fault. Next time you order you will get fresh chicken from today’s balance. We must be better.
My favorite thing to do after a night out is to check my google search history. This morning I checked and it was “What do anteaters eat?” followed by another tab “Do anteaters really only eat ants?”
I took Chinese all throughout high school/college which is of NO USE here in Mexico City but I do know “otra cerveza” and that’s pretty much all I’ve needed so far
If you ever think you’re lazy, just know that my laundry service (I don’t have a washer dryer in my building) uses detergent that makes me break out in hives and rather than researching a new laundry service, I just live with the hives.
Honestly whenever I watch football I just root for the team who has then ball at the moment. I get excited when either team gets near the end zone. I just like it when people score
I can't believe how dumb
@hen_ease
is. This guys is in management at our company now but deep down it's the same Hank. He really thought I wouldn't notice Jerry dressed as a woman 5 feet from my face.
Kevin and I had an emergency phone call and were trying to figure out ways to reply that both wouldn’t make us look dumb if it was a lie but also could be considered supportive if it was true. I think we nailed it tbh.
Should this be the Warriors' strategy for tonight with Curry only 10 threes away from the record? 🤣🍿
📺: Warriors vs. 76ers, 8:30 PM ET on ABC
(h/t nba/Reddit,
@CaptainSWC
,
@AndyKHLiu
)
My mother just told me that to deal with our crow issue, she bought a fake, dead crow and then pretended to beat it up (kick jt/throw it on the ground) in front of the other crows to scare them off. What an absolute savage move
I’m solo on
@KFCradio
tomorrow. We’ve been recording for an hour and a half and we have like 15 minutes of useable material. It’s not even that I’m saying bad things I just suck at it. No one should listen to this.