Marphy Black @SlappyCromwell Twitter profile

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

9 years

Merry Holidays, everyone! Celebrate the holiday spirit this with this festive video.

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

2 years

I always felt the most curious alteration made to Gordon's model in Half-Life's Dreamcast port is the pronounced bulge added to the HEV Suit's crotch plate, even being modeled to add extra depth. @valvesoftware , what benefit does the crotch bulge offer in hazardous environments?

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

4 years

Boomer Shooter Heroes Disappearing

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

8 years

This is the greatest video game cutscene I have ever witnessed, and I must share its majesty with the world.

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

4 years

Due to popular demand and extreme duress, I have created the wholly unnecessary sequel, Yet Even More Boomer Shooter Heroes Disappearing.

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

5 years

And here's Friday night's irrelevant observation: This one death animation in Morrowind was previously used in Eiffel 65's Blue (Da Ba Dee) music video. What did you mean by this, @BethesdaStudios ? #elderscrolls #imblue #justworks

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

2 years

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

5 years

I wanted to jump on the bandwagon of dubbing Half-Life sound effects onto an unrelated video, but I realized partway through the process that I probably should have aimed further out. #halflife #doorstuck #exteriorlikefisheggs

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

2 years

Half-Life Bullsquid Breakdancing

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

4 years

Give me a health bonus, Imp bartender (Doom cover)

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

3 years

The possibility of a Resonance Cascade scenario is extremely unlikely...

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

2 years

I still haven't come up with a good idea of what to do with this voice AI thing other than to make characters say the lines of other characters for meme purposes. #blood #petition

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

2 years

It's official: Half-Life 2 Beta is now obsolete. Duke Nukem Forever 2001 Beta gives us the one thing we had always dreamed of for so long. #dukenukemforever #whenitsdone #getyourfreetvs #GYFTVs

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

2 years

I was not expecting a random Duke 3D usermap from 1996 to have such impeccable comic timing.

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

4 years

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: Does anybody still have an unopened bottle of the Half-Life 2 water? My life will not be complete until I imbibe the Half-Life 2 water and consume its many untold powers. #halflife #gordonwater

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

3 years

Hidden in the metadata of Half-Life: Decay's voice lines is the string "Deepz0ne", the name of a known 2000s cracker, revealing the game's audio was edited using a pirated version of Sound Forge 4.5. Don't worry, @GearboxOfficial ! I won't tell anyone. Your secret's safe with me!

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

11 months

Actual footage of me upon learning that Half-Life: Source is (mostly) being cast to the fiery infernal pits. #halflife #tmcm

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

3 years

Happy Year of the Invulnerability, DoomEd's official Thing Type 2022! #doom #NewYear2022

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

3 years

Duke Nukem But With Realistic Gravity #duke3d

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

1 year

The Mark VI Hazardous Environment Suit has been redesigned for Smash Mouth and All Star. #halflife

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

3 years

2022 is also the year we're guaranteed to receive Half-Life 3, per Gabe Newell's originally predicted development time of "18 years" back in 2006: Finally, our long wait is over. Thank you, @valvesoftware ! #halflife #halflife3 #NewYear2022

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

4 years

Hey @valvesoftware , in Half-Life: Alyx, we see a child's drawing of a Metrocop holding a Stunstick. However, the Stunstick in this drawing is clearly of the HL2 design from 5 years after HL:A. Did this child see the future? Boy, I really hope somebody got fired for that blunder!

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

3 years

It's so sad John Romero died of Ligma

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

5 years

Exclusive leaked footage from new Spider-Man reboot. #spiderman #disney #sony #mcu #adios #mafia

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

4 years

Man, he's just not trying anymore!

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

4 years

You are an esteemed mind of the prestigious Black Mesa Science Team. You have accidentally opened an interdimensional rift which has brought monstrous aliens and deadly government agents to your facility. By what means do you perish: Lamp or Mashed Potatoes? #halflife

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

4 years

Dissatisfied with all remaster attempts currently on the market, I've decided that I will be personally remastering Half-Life myself using an AI photo upscaling generative model for hyper-realistic ultra HD quality. You better be quakin' in your boots, @BlackMesaDevs ! #halflife

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

1 year

Can any Quake maps from the past 20 years top this one moment from a level made in 1997? Didn't think so! #quake #notfur

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

2 years

Contrary to the popular trend, l shan't be sharing any useless pieces of video game knowledge as all of my imparted video game knowledge is entirely practical. Ergo, I offer screenshots of the only crate in all of Half-Life 1 and its expansions to contain a Submachine Gun.

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

2 years

I've waited over 20 years for this very moment. #dukenukemforever #whenitsdone

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

4 years

I didn't hear this in the Half-Life: Alyx commentary, @valvesoftware : Larry wears a nail-studded helmet to protect from Headcrabs, but crabs bleed yellow while the helmet's blood is red. Did someone forget their blood color? Boy I really hope somebody got fired for that blunder!

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

6 years

In Half-Life Dreamcast build 1638, breaking crates revealed Sonic Adventure discs. We now have canonical proof that Sonic officially exists in the Half-Life universe. @sonic_hedgehog , you are hereby obligated to make the next Half-Life game. No excuses. #halflife #sonic

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

5 years

Half-Life's map entities are listed mostly in the order in which they were created, allowing us a fascinating real time chronological sneak peek into the level designer's psyche as a map's development process goes on. #halflife #goldsrc #gamedev

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

4 years

This is my hiding spot, and I'm not moving until the situation is drastically improved. Now go away, and don't tell anyone I'm here!

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

5 years

I've done the hard research, spent the loads of money, and spent hours perfecting my setup. After 13 years of waiting, I can finally say I'm prepared to return to Half-Life... in VR! #halflife #halflifealyx #vr

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

9 months

Hey @valvesoftware , in Half-Life: Alyx, are the eyes on this billboard meant to represent the G-Man's ever-present vigilance, an omnipresent observer to all that occurs, or were you just reusing his model on the texture here to save time on assets/resources/etc? #halflife #guhman

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

2 years

Don't try to figure out the most canonical Half-Life: Blue Shift logo. Worst mistake of my life! #halflife #bs #hacklogoery

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

5 years

What if Gordon had a really long arm? #gordonwithareallylongarm

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

3 years

Me waiting for the unskippable scripted sequence where all of my allies tragically die to finish so I can continue playing.

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

3 years

Actual photo of me checking daily for exciting new tidbits about the early builds of Duke Nukem Forever.

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

3 years

#doom #bus #agitating

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

5 years

Doomguy's iconic zig-zag haircut has appeared in every landmark Doom title in the series. All except one. @DOOM @idSoftware @bethesda , why did you get rid of Doomguy's dynamic 'do? What do you have against his stylish fashion sense? Why have you forsaken us so? #doom #zigzaggery

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

3 years

During the development of the Hazard Course, Valve cut the ballet training section because it was too difficult for the playtesters. #halflife #hazardcourse #trufax

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

5 years

Hey @valvesoftware , I noticed a minor error in your current play-Half-Life-for-free-until-Alyx event! It seems you accidentally included Half-Life: Source in this promotion instead of deleting it, burning it, and shaming it for being the abomination that it is. #halflifealyx

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

6 years

This Half-Life strategy guide just slams Barney's appearance completely outta nowhere. I, for one, shall not tolerate such besmirchment of Barney's dashing good looks. #halflife #barney #cute

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

5 years

MIT graduate ignores a bunch of nerds to swat at a swarm of angry invisible bees. #halflife #notthebees

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

4 months

Actual photos of me when someone calls Gore "mid". #gore

Reload Magazine

@Reload_Magazine

4 months

This Day in FPS History 22 years ago today, #4DRulers picked a bad time to release an, admittedly mid, arena multiplayer shooter. But then again, #Gore lets you unload a quad-shotty on chainsaw-wielding skeletons, that's got to count for something. Were you the ultimate soldier?

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

6 years

Gordon's First Day at Black Mesa #halflife #gordan #firstday #noncanon

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

4 months

The most obscure censorship in Half-Life is the cancelled Dreamcast port's removal of all mentions of alcohol, both from our beloved guard man Barney. Hey @SEGA , in a bloody conflict betwixt aliens and man, how come you draw the line at beer? #halflife #dreamcast #aboutthatbeer

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

4 years

Why can I find absolutely no reference on the internet to the fact that the T spawn in CS 1.6's Militia has a pallet of giant Cheez-Its? Why are terrorists stockpiling Cheez-Its, @CSGO ? Where do I buy these ultra huge boxes of Cheez-Its, @cheezit ?

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

2 years

Just a reminder, @valvesoftware , that you still have a few hours left to make good on that promise you made to us 18 years ago when you definitively declared when you'd definitely deliver Half-Life 3 to the masses. Finally, our long wait is over! #halflife #halflife3

Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

3 years

2022 is also the year we're guaranteed to receive Half-Life 3, per Gabe Newell's originally predicted development time of "18 years" back in 2006: Finally, our long wait is over. Thank you, @valvesoftware ! #halflife #halflife3 #NewYear2022

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

5 years

An "eternally" critical stats update has been made in this enthralling ongoing saga. And the news is disappointing. For shame, @DOOM @idSoftware @bethesda . For shame. #doom #doometernal #zigzaggery

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

4 years

You: Gearbox's Half-Life expansions aren't canon because HL2 never mentions them Me: The Portal 2 Collector's Guide references the test sample's name "GG-3883" which was only ever mentioned in the supporting documentation of Half-Life: Decay in Gearbox's PlayStation 2 port of HL1

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

4 years

In China, Half-Life 2 was once sold in a big suitcase for some reason. Hey @valvesoftware , where do I acquire the Half-Life 2 suitcase? #halflife #gordonsuitcase

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

5 years

I made "What is Half-Life?" on YTMND over 13 years ago. It was my most popular YTMND by far, managing over half a million views, and led to my interest in modding Half-Life: Good night, YTMND. May your fire spirits be summoned forever. #halflife #ytmnd

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

3 years

In Opposing Force, the AI attacks the syringe on this table because it's a monster_generic entity which is seen as a hostile. However, OpFor specifically introduced the item_generic entity to avoid this. Boy, @GearboxOfficial , I really hope somebody got fired for this blunder!

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

4 years

First they came for Nine Inch Nails. Then they came for Metallica. Hey @DOOM @idSoftware @bethesda , why do you hate @nineinchnails and @Metallica so much? #doom #copyrightery

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

5 years

According to lore, the events of Doom 64 (and, of course, its sequels Doom 2016 and Doom Eternal) are entirely Doomguy's fault because he was lazy and forgot to kill one Arch-Vile in Doom 2. Boy, that Doomguy sure is a klutz, isn't he, @DOOM ? What a goober! #doom #archvial

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

5 years

In the pre-release Half-Life: Day One, Gordon's model featured several face bones which afforded him unmatched emoting and crude blinking. These go unused in the final game, leaving the G-Man as the only human character with facial animations. #halflife #gordan #blinkingvideo

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

1 year

Hey @Quake , in the Quake 2 remaster, why did you change the icon of the compass? Is it because you think the kids these days don't know what a compass looks like unless it's an app on their telephones? #quake #telephone

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

2 years

Updated accurate summation of the year 2022, aka Year of the Duke. #alwaysbetonduke

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

3 years

The new official Quake episode, Dimension of the Machine, uses textures taken directly from Quake 2. Thus, after decades of speculation, I think we can finally say with absolutely certainty that we have definitive confirmation that Quake 2 is, in fact, the sequel to Quake 1.

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

2 years

The world's first Endangered Species Hunter mod is a success! Now Duke must hunt the most dangerous species of all!

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

3 years

For over 23 years, I wondered why the Vortigaunt in Half-Life was internally named "islave". Does the "i" stand for something? Is it a typo? And today it finally hit me. "Eye Slave". It's a pun. On the alien's big eye. Oh, @valvesoftware @ChuckJo25587237 , you've done it again!

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

4 years

The idea that Quake's Shambler has fur resulted from the recent rise in erroneous revisionism that not only contradicts its creator: But also prevailing sentiments closest to the game's release, such as the Shambler's official figure from the 90s. #notfur

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

5 years

And by forcibly recoloring the G-Man's tie from his established trademark black to his original beta blue, I naturally assume that Valve is effectively retconning everything from the beta into canon. All of it. Odell. The cheese. It's all true. #halflife #beta #gasmask #manwich

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

2 years

Actual footage of me searching through the new Counter-Strike 2 announcement info desperately searching for the phrase "Arctic Avengers", "the return of the Arctic Avengers", "we're finally bringing back the Arctic Avengers after a decade", or something to that effect.

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

5 years

Me when the military forgets about Freeman. #halflife #garg

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

2 years

In Uplink, Valve wanted to spawn grenades when the player returns to this hall, but Half-Life has no system to dynamically spawn items, so they created small invisible floating func_breakables that "break" on cue and drop grenades like broken crates. Oh @valvesoftware , you nuts!

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

4 years

My hobbies include collecting pictures of boxed Half-Life releases in which a comical amount of stickers have been placed over the characters' faces in an unintentionally humorous fashion. #halflife #gamecollecting

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

3 years

Actual footage of me celebrating July 4th. #doom #July4th #fireworks #screensaver

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

5 years

Cacodemon gets a shave, haircut, and he wipes off the milk from his upper lip. #doom #cacodemon #shave #haircut #milk

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

3 years

I must apologize for my previous tweet. Of course, that's just some random magazine's depiction of the Shambler. It's not like it's authorized! Wait a sec, does this "authorized" Quake 64 guide specifically feature a nifty render of a clearly smooth-skin Shambler? #quake #notfur

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

3 years

Got ya red-handed, @CSGO ! So know that any time you've ever heard the C4 beeping, you were actually listening to the sound of piracy! As penance for your decades of flagrant warez, @valvesoftware , you have to bring back the Arctic Avenger in GO. And also as_oilrig.

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

3 years

Happy Friday! Why not use the opportunity this fine day to take a closer look and appreciate the added and detail and definition afforded by the updated models in Half-Life's High Definition Pack and PlayStation 2 port over the original "low definition" PC versions! #halflife

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

3 years

It's canonical fact that Doomguy spent three years doing nothing but watch porn every single day before he single-handedly defeated a demon invasion, yet this iconic aspect of his character is rarely explored. Hey @DOOM , what kind of pornography does Doomguy enjoy? #doom #porno

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

4 years

Also, we can clearly trace back this drawing to the first Google image search result for "Metrocop". Rather than question the canonicity of Google existing in the Half-Life universe, I will instead use this opportunity to admonish this fictional child for flagrant plagiarism.

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

3 years

First released November 14, 2001, say Happy 20th Birthday to the PlayStation 2 port of Half-Life, the entry in the franchise which brought us one of the greatest canonical additions to the Half-Life mythos: This one scientist who really likes chugging down cans of Hai! #halflife

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

4 years

Me before 2020 vs. me after 2020 #doom #relatable #sweetchristmas #bigmouthedfloatingthingies

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

11 months

Check it, my science team, I witnessed my screenshot of Ivan in that Half-Life documentary which I also happened to use in the thumbnail for my GoldSrc Forever video! And what does this mean, you ask? Well... I guess nothing, really. #halflife #trivialcoincidence

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

3 years

I pray that my Deck will be able to handle this many Revenants. #steamdeck #100krevs #fireblu

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

2 years

It's been half a decade since I've seen any signs of it, so I offer a public plea: Could whoever beat me in the 2017 eBay auction for the giant signed Half-Life: Opposing Force display box (pictured) kindly assure us the item is safe and wasn't swiftly dumped into a landfill?

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

3 years

Just another day at Black Mesa. #halflife #blackmessa

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

4 years

What's the most socially acceptable context in which I could wear this shirt? #halflife #modding #halflife2editor #sorse

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

3 years

POV: After careful review, it has been determined by expert analysis that, between your face and your ass, there are no discernible distinguishing qualities present. #dukenukem

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

3 years

I completely forgot to tweet this classic Half-Life machinima clip a few months ago with the message "Leaked footage from the upcoming Matrix 4". Better late than never! #halflife #maytricks

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

2 years

Normal Doom screenshot. @just_some_doom #doom

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

4 years

Yes, this all looks nominal. #halflife

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

5 years

To prepare yourself for Half-Life: Alyx, please study this chart carefully. The exam covering this material will be administered tomorrow. Bring a No. 2 pencil. #halflife #halflifealyx #unforeseenquizzes

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

4 years

Does anyone here have any experience in Half-Life: Alyx mapping? I'm trying to make my G-Man ride his giant cat Garfield while leading his Tiger King army to defeat the evil clock cat (also Garfield) and his zombie army, but my node graph keeps rebuilding. #source2

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

7 years

Ladies, if you want to be a real head-turner, just put this on. #doom #ripandtear #ouchface

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

4 years

Ages ago, I dreamed that Philips CD-i emulation would one day reach a state where I could finally try out those neat looking games I'd only read about. Now, years later, and I know it sounds like a joke, literally all I can get running is Hotel Mario and The AIDS Awareness Disc.

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

2 years

In light of all this talk about ChatGPT and the like being the future of AI-powered discourse, I decided to consult a trusted expert on the subject. #chatgpt #quake #eminem

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

5 years

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

5 years

It is the Dopefish, behold. #swimswimhungry

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

4 years

It is on this day, November 14, 2020, you are hereby granted a 24 hour period in which you are permitted to celebrate the 20th anniversary of @valvesoftware 's classic Ricochet, originally released on November 14, 2000 through the retail disc version of Counter-Strike. #ricochet

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

5 years

MFW. @dhabiheng #halflife #gordan #wherestheponytail #bringbacktheponytail

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

5 months

According to the official Half-Life Audio Script which was penned by series writer Marc Laidlaw himself, this device in the corner of the Anomalous Materials lobby is a fax machine. Hey @valvesoftware , what is a "fax machine"? #halflife #halflifefacts #halflifefax

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Marphy Black

@SlappyCromwell

3 years

Actual photo of my reaction whenever I see the default texture filtering option in a modern source port for a DOS-era sprite-based game being set to bilinear and/or trilinear.

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