Sir. Touches Himself @SirTouches Twitter profile

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

The missus is getting ate out for the lunch she packed me

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

2 months

@BruceBearl >marketing class Easiest over in my life

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

Rivals the steam engine in human progression

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

4 months

@WhatsHisName_10 @GenericSnarky @lonelyfag15 But they count it in the statistic. The map would be wildly different if it was just prisons vs colleges. I can guarantee you almost every state would be blue

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

2 months

@EvilModeEngaged

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

1 month

A few beers

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

My stupid nephew trying to get me to love him by pretending to be a beer

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

Sir. Touches Himself gas received a 2k scholarship from the chemistry department. Sir. Touches himself will drink to that Warm regards , Sir. Touches Himself

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

2 months

21st bday dinner with the missus KC strip with a signature Marg from @LongHornSteaks

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

26 days

Trigger Henderson

@OldManTrigger

26 days

Watching 2 dogshit football games while enjoying some peach. What else can a man ask for?

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

2 months

Wearing noise canceling headphones to bed while my roomates finally gets laid

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

2 months

My micro class making us pay 35$ for a “lab manual” (it’s 50 hole punched pages with not binder)

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

2 months

Who let him roll

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

2 months

Internal alarm clock is working a little to well lately like wtf am I waking up at 7 am sharp after last night

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

@alexinsix Hey Alex 👋 have you considered not being a retarded homosexual ? Warm regards, Sir. Touched himself

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

2 months

Arturo Fuente and a Stein full of beer an excellent, 21st birthday party

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

Who’s burner

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

2 months

Food haul from old lady hermit I deliver to • Cliff bar • Kind protein breakfast bar • German curry ketchup that supposed to go on bratwursts?

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

2 months

@DugganBitLife Nigoilet

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

2 months

I’m fartin real big today

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

Fall apart burnt ends and homemade Mac and cheese

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

@JeremyWade043 Not one place being in California or New York is a crime

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

1 month

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

2 months

Barbell went missing so I used this fat ass instead

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

2 months

@aksarben69420 We gotta attract a good basketball team somehow

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

Mind if I show off mine?

Country Club Kisner

@Countryclubchad

3 months

Yes, I bring my Koozie to the bar. Let’s have a Wednesday.

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

Substancemaxxing right when I get off work

Grateful Reb

@GratefulR3b

3 months

Wonder if this girl is still alive

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

@BobChuggins Cream soda easily

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

Who needs the UFC

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

1 month

If your a man who can fit in a standard sized bathtub you got a twink build

“Big Jerker” Thorton

@30secondnut

1 month

Is it gay to take a bath as a man

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

This car is talking to me

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

1 month

@TheTesticalElf Holy shit clean them please

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

2 months

God fucking bless

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

29 days

This is how it feels to be high with the boys

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

4 months

Finally fucking caught the @TheTesticalElf

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

2 months

@remember31_0 Dumbass water has two hydrogens in it already

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

Fit for the day

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

@GarretWeedcock The beer on the console

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

1 month

@valoush36649 Being black

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

@JakeLockerVols Calling a liberals fat is dumb it’s like calling ice cold. Like no shit

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

I am turning 21 in a couple weeks. I gotta do as much underage drinking as possible in that time frame.

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

It’s joever

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

1 month

I should be getting hammered

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

1 month

@B1gBens_burner Elephant walk with icey hot on hands

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

2 months

@xoSolaceGames @David_Leavitt White knighting a dead pedo and abuser is insane

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

Morning after breakdown -ate leftover steak and mashed potatoes -ate 6 crab rangoons made by the missus -showered and shaved You liberals cannot stop me

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

28 days

Ball knowledge

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

2 months

@Danado816496882 @twit_honest I belive those are called porn stores maam

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

2 months

Holy shit I am taking American ethnic studies and it’s far more gay and retarded than I thought it would be

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

@bear_gibbons She’s Indian. Or do you mean golf handicap?

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

Dinner of champions

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

What in the ever living shit is this movie

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

2 months

Keep my brotha in your prayers

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

2 months

Tonight bouta be a MOVIE

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

Sir. TH pro player tip of the day You can just not pay university parking tickets. I have 7 tickets that I have just appealed and don’t plan on paying Warm regards , Sir. Touches himself

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

Some call it a gift

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

@TheTesticalElf physique reveal

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

#hellyeah

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

2 months

I have fallen back into watching SCP lore videos

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

4 months

I made it to our Mecca boys 🇺🇸 #hellyeah

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

2 months

Two trubofągs taking up a whole lane instead of using the sidewalk

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

4 months

Had the freshest beer of my life last night. I think if everyone had one of these we would have world peace❤️

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

2 months

Locked and loaded for fantasy draft

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

@RandyMarshMD “Good morning Randy” they all said in unison

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

Bottom shelf vodka is the move and understated as hell (I’m poor)

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

Mind if a white boy do a little boogie?

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

2 months

Got drunk as hell and forced my girlfriend to watch the metal gear rising senator Armstrong fight

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

25 days

Are we being serious right now

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

1 month

Time to get really drunk and tweet! Whatever you do DO NOT ask me racial or politely topics

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

1 month

Brotherhood incarnate

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

@bear_gibbons Someone check in on this guy

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

Do you fw my son

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

@breadinthebag @JohnBummit @kalenabugg He’s 3% black

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

Women who arnt retarded😍

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

When yall shit do you put your penar on top of the seat or inside the bowl

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

I see a Biden sign on your lawn I’m keying your car and I’m not joking

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

@TheTesticalElf

Cleveland Sports Talk

@CLEsportsTalk

3 months

Your average Steelers fan:

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

I’ll have my cake and eat it too

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

26 days

@bushleaguepodd Only 286 likes

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

These liberals are FURIOUS at patriots like me drinking in a pool. This is for them 🇺🇸

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

4 months

@gang451000 I was just there yesterday frank, and I talked to the big guys upstairs and apparently it was some DEI hires idea

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

4 months

@RebelRo11052089 @aryantrenmason @Incognito_Aqua 34 counts of being fucking dope you libfuck

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

1 month

He’s so fucking rarded

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

2 months

2 weeks in the pod

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

@AlicePumpkins9 This is what what life is all about Warm regards, Sir Touches Himself

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

@BoWithersOBGYN Good job Bo teaching her real American history and not the sissy liberal indoctrination

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

Every day, I thank God, I’m not a liberal

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

2 months

Update: I did a lot worse

Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

2 months

Who let him roll

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

@orientalmschief You should do something about it

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

Literally forgot this dude after a week ngl. Dead meme

Sulaiman Ahmed

@ShaykhSulaiman

3 months

NEVER FORGET AARON BUSHNELL AMERICAN HERO

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

@givemeaMAC11 Yeah you probably should. You don’t have homemade orange chicken made by a bad bitch and I do

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

@MikeSington I’m already sold you can stop pushing me on Trump

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

I thought this was ranch for a second

Girth Brooks

@GirthDaddy1234

3 months

We got a second one

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

@ArchieBogdan Keeping it secured, nice work Arch

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

4 months

“Whatever is a black job?” Have you never been to a footlocker before?

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

4 months

Night started at 3 pm but fucker it bruger time

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

3 months

Thought I helped some chick who was sped but turns out she was just British so I was technically right

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Sir. Touches Himself

@SirTouches

2 months

What the hell are the feeding my little brother

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