Testical Elf @TheTesticalElf Twitter profile

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

4 months

*jumps out of locker, stealing your testicals*

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

14 days

Took my client out (roommate) after closing a huge deal (agreeing to split NFL Sunday Ticket) and hope he forgets about his old suppliers (MethStreams)

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

1 month

This might be one of the greatest hypothetical questions I’ve ever heard

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

13 days

If you look like this PLEASE DM me

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

1 month

@Eric__Shunn Bright.

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

1 month

@vols_pete No, he gets what he wants everytime

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

3 months

Split some beer on me, so what Liberals!!!! Im going to tap this later tonight regardless

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

14 days

@ChimneyHicks86 6 people paying 30 for Sunday ticket, stay in school twerp

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

13 days

@Kennyhaz404 You just gotta take them out to Chillis Kenny, the key to every man’s heart is a triple platter

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

14 days

@ChimneyHicks86 Student discount it’s only 200 and we have 5 other dudes help for it

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

1 month

@vols_pete You come back to the same place every time, you can do whatever you want each life AS LONG as you stay a pirate, so your life still sucks

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

14 days

@ChimneyHicks86 Who needs red zone when I can watch 4 full games in muti view???? Including full games of my favorite team

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

3 months

I need a girlfriend

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

1 month

@CommanderCoch 6.5 inches, and vigorous raping

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

3 months

I love watching black people have fun. Cheers my friends💛

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

1 month

@dwaynerevamped Old day, scurvy is RAMPANT

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

2 months

You guys are in Teams calls and hammering out deals, I’m making a fort to watch GOT sex scenes in peace. We are not the same

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

23 days

It’s times like this where you realize how good your life really is. Stay strong fellas, it is always the darkest before the dawn.

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

14 days

Waiter! Waiter! More beers please!

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

3 months

Thoughts on this Rockies polo?? Not PM but I think the Jamaican ladies will love it

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

3 months

Just got back to the college house, forgot to show you guys my sick ass Crown Royale lamp Yes it works, and yes it stays on during sex

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

2 months

Just gave up mid crank sesh, I want to be happy for real this time. I want to see the waves crash on the ocean standing next to a woman who loves me. Watch the sunset over the mountains while crushing some beers with my good friends I want more than just porn!

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

13 days

@spliffsimmons Lightskin… the mommy from Modern Family

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

3 months

What the fuck do you know about Street Beefs???

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

3 months

Just met a fan of the greatest basketball player to ever live (Bron)

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

3 months

BARK BARK BARK🐺🐺🐺

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

1 month

@weinerisbuzzin A good 15-20 it’s very inconvenient

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

1 month

Labor Day weekend means day drinking on a Sunday. God bless, let’s have a weekend boys👍

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

3 months

This is where I tweet from if you even care

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

3 months

Ice cold beer, 20 BOGO wings, and some regular show. Mr Testi is going to have a great night👍

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

3 months

Screw driver at 2 in the after noon, watching Team USA steamroll third world countries It doesn’t get much better than this, cheers my friends🇺🇸🇺🇸

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

2 months

Dick was so bad after the first hookup, she started sending me her mass snaps

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

2 months

A dinner for champions (unemployed and jerked off three times today)

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

3 months

Just got back to America 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸 You know I had to crack open up one of our greatest inventions: the 40 oz Coors Light🦅🦅🦅 Glad to be back on free soil

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

3 months

Am I doing this right???? Yes, that is three lines in one beer, argue with a wall libs

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

2 months

Is this game??

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

1 month

@lordfarrrquadd Thank you Mass, am excited to hear back

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

12 days

@ATXHimmy Where are they Himmy

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

2 months

I would rock the fuck out of this fit

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

15 days

Flashback to last Halloween as a wizard, should I run it back?

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

2 months

Rockies polo at work today, anyone mind?

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

2 months

A picture of every girl a dude will eventually sleep with in college

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

3 months

Just booted this bad boy up (I forgot to install NCAA)

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

2 months

What’s up my n words????

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

2 months

Thank for 200 followers, the Testical Elf “Sac Stealer” world tour is coming to a venue near you!

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

2 months

Can’t believe I’m going to have an office job for the next 40 years of my life after this. Cheers fellas

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

2 months

Link was a success, Testi got his testis demolished, could be a franchise player in the near future

Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

2 months

About to have a girl whose 6 feet tall come over to day drink on the porch with me , this might be the start of something beautiful

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

3 months

Okay so they just reveled she is 13, do I delete this post?

Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

3 months

This red head is back as fuck

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

2 months

Name a better duo, the Steelers losing and a cold beer #HereWeGo

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

2 months

Another day of drinking on the porch, beer has never tasted better.

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

2 months

Just another day in the life of Mr Testi

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

2 months

Need them to have a squirt off

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

3 months

Good morning to the BV! Here’s my plans for today: Get drunk at 10:30 in the morning Make third world minorities serve me drinks Make one black friend Get burnt from not wearing sunscreen (I’m a man) Hope your day goes as well as I planned mine👍 God bless🇺🇸🇺🇸

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

2 months

Going to start adding “And I’ve been saying it for years” to add validity to any statement I make

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

1 month

God I miss her

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

2 months

About to have a girl whose 6 feet tall come over to day drink on the porch with me , this might be the start of something beautiful

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

2 months

Looking down at my hands to make sure I’m still human after I cranked it to some questionable shit

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

3 months

Day 5 of vacation, so far I’m averaging: 6 Beers before noon 1 sun screen application every 5 hours 2 dumps every morning 8 restful hours of sleep Feeling like an off the bench role player

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

2 months

Would kill for a pair of tits in my face

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

3 months

Beer, pool, and GOT Can’t start the weekend better if you ask me👍 Let’s get after it fellas🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

27 days

My gf just sent me this, who is she talking to??????

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

12 days

Just another brick in the wall

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

21 days

Re: Happy Wednesday. Remember, you don’t get what you don’t ask for, BEG for pussy

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

19 days

I should call her

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

3 months

Sex

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

2 months

Had to go back home for a dentist appointment, sneaking a few beers from the parents never hurt anyone!

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

3 months

I’m getting very uncreative with my captions fellas, will improve when more drunk, thanks

Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

3 months

Thanks

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

3 months

This little elf just hit 100 followers!! Just quit my job so I can focus on content creation. Will be dropping merch, a podcast, and a 4-part mini series on Netflix👍 thank you for supporting me💛 -TE

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

28 days

I would literally murder half of you guys just to sleep on those pillows #frontporch

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

3 months

If God wasn’t real, the 5 dollar meal deal paired with free any size fries wouldn’t exist. Checkmate atheists🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

2 months

Ramen and Team USA, couldn’t beat unemployment with a stick

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

2 months

I may be poor, but this is a rich view💛

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

3 months

The 7 mixed drinks and 6 beers from yesterday came back to haunt me this morning. Blew chunks for 10 minutes while hitting 40 mph on the fishing excursion However, we managed to catch a 7 foot 200 pound Blue Marlin, an absolute beast of animal Drinking soon -TE

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

3 months

How I’m starting my weekend: Deleting imports✅ Inflatable pool to make my poor neighbors mad✅ Sunscreen applied ❌ Hope you all of a great one💛

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

2 months

They’re lucky those 1900s traveling circuses aren’t a thing anymore. I would 100% get black out drunk and throw shit at those freak shows

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

3 months

Horny

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

3 months

Donald Trumps backshots just dropped

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

3 months

Chili’s I am inside of you

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

1 month

Listening to this song while drinking alone makes me feel like a single dad with two young children.

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

3 months

@ranch69691 YOURE 6 FEET TALL???????? This little elf can climb btw🫡

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

2 months

Today marks the start of my two week unemployment period until school starts again, thinking building pillow fort while drunk at 2 in the afternoon is in order👍

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

3 months

If you never had these you don’t know game.

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

1 month

#NewProfilePic

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

1 month

Today feels like a morning where your dad would wake you up to go work with him

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

3 months

Going to Jamaica this Sunday and I’ve never been more excited to be around black people (they will give me pool side imports)

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

3 months

First time working in about a week and a half, about to get the most glorious pump (chest/tri) Yes those are wired earbuds, eat my testicals

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

2 months

Finance professor just gave us locks for the week, do NOT make this a parlay

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

2 months

At Sports Clips about to get a haircut, I haven’t felt this uneasy about a cut in awhile

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

2 months

Does anyone else get scared that a mouse is going to jump out of the toilet and bite you while pooping????

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

3 months

I would fight armies to be this chicks brother

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

3 months

@SirTouches Is she the color of the sun (yellow) ?

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

2 months

Shroom tea, courtesy of @RandyMarshMD

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

1 month

Nothing is worse than working out then getting flashes of a night you regret mid rep

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

3 months

I’m republican through and through, but seeing Obama at the USA bball game tonight brought a smile to my face. That guy KNEW how to kill innocent Middle Easteners

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Testical Elf

@TheTesticalElf

2 months

Starting the night strong, sipping on a cran vodka watching car crashes, and no, I will not have any women over later tonight 👍