Incredible that "Why should [profession] go on strike? My job sucks and pays like shit but I never complain!" is a wildly popular and respected opinion in this country
People are being very weird about this, it genuinely sucks that you now need to sign up for a loyalty scheme at every supermarket you visit in order to get realistic prices, and that you need a bespoke phone app to do it
An angry Lidl customer has slammed the budget supermarket for 'discriminating against old people' after being told he can’t have access to discounts without a mobile app
The whole ordeal must have been a Lidl frustrating for him
Imagine waking up in the middle of the night like 10 years from now as you get a flashback to the time you chose to do this in front of Dua Lipa, absolutely haunting
I'm the guy who tried to stop this lad from becoming a graphic designer. I will not stop until his career is destroyed. Nobody does graphic design on my watch
This is Jordan. Just met him on the train to London...and today is a big day for him.
He starts a new job as a Graphic Designer, and has been inspired to ignore the naysayers, critics and negative messages...by listening to the High Performance Podcast.
I love little moments
Labour: we're going to try plant 2 billion trees because the environment is important
Journalists: sounds hard, I'm deeply sceptical
Tories: we're going to do absolutely nothing. Fuck trees
Journalists: ah, the grownups have entered the room
Comments on this demonstrating that you can basically no longer talk about men and violence, or any issue that affects women, without having the conversation completely derailed by TERFs
My heart breaks for Carol, Hannah and Louise.
A woman is killed by a man every 3 days in the UK. They’re not a statistic, but people whose lives and dreams were cruelly stolen from them.
Male violence and misogyny are endemic. We demand a world where women are safe and free.
Always such a trip to just listen to Corbyn speak and try and reconcile it in your head with how he's regularly described in the political mainstream as basically being history's greatest monster. This is the bad guy apparently
This isn't working for me as a transatlantic beef, sorry, 'being able to drive a long way without stopping except for fuel' cannot meaningfully be a source of actual pride to anyone. "Europeans hate to drive for 12 hours straight" oh okay, fine, whatever
Just want to be really clear about my reasons for criticising Starmer over the apartment thing. It's that I hate Sir Keir Starmer's 16 year old son specifically and wanted, more than anything in the world, for him to fail his GCSEs
You, a normie: "Blur or Oasis?"
Me, after an incredibly dramatic pause: "Pulp, actually" [everyone's jaws hit the floor, people are fainting, many are instantly falling in love with me]
Just walked through the office carrying a bunch of lanyards and a colleague commented "Ooh...the man with the lanyards!" to which I replied "That's right!", can't believe some of you work from home and miss out on this kind of sizzling banter
Someone brought in a tub of those little M&S flapjacks to work about 7 years ago, I said I liked them, and it's somehow become lore over time that I'm an absolute flapjack fiend, I cannot escape my fate as the office flapjack guy
Gonna be a lot of boring wankers loftily 'explaining' the realpolitik behind this and how Starmer's hand is being forced and these MPs are committing a grave act of Student Politics etc etc and I just want to say in advance that I fucking hate you guys
Watching liberals find a new Tory they think is decent only to find themselves disappointed is like an incredibly slow and boring version of the Sideshow Bob rake scene
This dreadful line only ever made some kind of sense when they were lecturing us about the importance of getting into power over protesting. Now you're the government! People have the right to protest against you! It's literally what protest is for!
Heckler: "Stop selling arms to Israel"
Rachel Reeves: "This is a changed Labour Party. A Labour Party that represents working people, not a party of protest"
So the rule is you have to enable and support genocide if you want to represent working people?
"Vile scaremongering from Labour to suggest that the Tories would do something as evil as privatising the NHS, which might actually be good by the way"
"I'm devoting 40-plus hours every week for 50 years of my finite time on this earth to a succession of dreadful companies who grudgingly afford me the legal minimum employment rights and in some cases find ways around them", hmm, sounds like maybe that's not how it should be pal
The weirdest thing about this discourse which comes around every six months is the idea that the left live in a bubble where we never hear a single right-wing opinion, and buddy, I fucking wish
Enormous fan of the FBPE meme whereby Labour are a Brexit party when you're yelling at Jeremy Corbyn, but a Remain party when you want to cook the numbers on a graph
One thing Corbyn's time as Labour leader did is make it clear to me which people were serious about wanting a genuinely better society, and which people were just casual liberals who would throw the rest of us under the bus at the slightest bit of resistance
"I was right not to call for a ceasefire when there hadn't been 30,000 deaths, but now there's been 30,000 deaths I've changed my position", shit man it's almost like we wanted a ceasefire precisely to prevent all these fucking deaths
This felt like a fake shitpost left edit but it's actually real. Completely ignores the question and springs into rehearsed statement mode. Incredible that we were sold this guy as being a slick, competent performer, he comes off absolutely deranged here
'When her [Natalie Elphicke's] husband was convicted of sexual assault, she called his victim a liar. Is this the sort of person who shares Labour values?'
'I'm delighted to welcome Natalie Elphicke to the Labour party.'
It's really noticeable how every single supermarket has started making every promotional discount solely accessible to people on their 'loyalty' scheme, like look at this nonsense
[automated checkout yelling at me because I'm taking too long to log into one of my five fucking stupid loyalty apps so I can afford some basic shopping] "This is the future grandad, and it's good actually"
Just want to make it clear that if by some weird circumstance I ever die in a newsworthy way, the one thing I very specifically do not want anyone to do in response is to write about it for fucking Spiked Online, cheers
Farewell Boris Johnson. You may have been a racist bigot who used a media-assisted 'affable posho' persona to distract from your deeply reactionary politics, but I think we can all agree you were also shit at your job
Used to always wonder how people like this never manage to make the leap from "it's tough for me on 100k a year" to "shit, how hard must it be to earn a fraction of that like most people do?", but the truth is they don't care. They think they deserve a much better life than you
"You are absolutely right, that is not very much."
This caller manages to convince @RachelSJohnson that £100k doesn't go very far, as he tells her he and his wife are left with approximately £600 a week after taxes and bills.
Never gonna forgive Boris Johnson for this shit; not only has my city been fucked over by this dismal power play from Number 10, but I also have to put up with my girlfriend going on about how much she fancies Andy Burnham
It's so great that the most important demographic in politics is 'people who gleefully voted for all the terrible shit that's happening now'. I simply love that literally the only voters politicians are interested in are those who got taken in by Boris Johnson
Love that the BBC clearly realised that a ban on so-called 'virtue-signalling' would logically include banning the wearing of poppies, and simply concluded that poppies are special, actually
Starmer: "There's a budget coming in October. And I will be honest with you- it's going to be painful. We have no other choice, given the situation that we're in...I'll have to turn to the country and make big asks of you as well. To accept short term pain for long term good."
So it's okay for Garfield to say he hates Mondays, but replace the word 'Mondays' with 'Mexicans' and suddenly it's racist? Where do you draw the line? I'm paid for my opinions by the way
I’m not a Trump fan but if it’s okay for them to refuse to serve Sanders, then why wouldn’t it also be okay for another restaurant to refuse to serve a gay couple, a black woman or a Jewish or Muslim man? Where do you draw the line? Be careful what you wish for.
I may not have shared Paul Dacre's politics, in fact I hated him and his newspaper, but watching people who've never worked in journalism celebrating his retirement and taking the opportunity to call him a cunt? It's great and to be applauded because they're absolutely right
Amazes me how much these people talk about their childhoods rather than the society they created as adults. Like, it wasn't Gen Z TikTok content creators who originally killed off vinyl and safe streets and introduced plastic waste and modern conveniences
Don't want to keep relitigating the Corbyn years like some sad act still clinging to the past, but this is another reminder of how he's fundamentally a better person than the people he's been replaced by
Corbyn on Starmer: "I’m sorry that he’s changing his memory on this. I was there alongside him in 2019. We did campaign together. He was at events with me. Own it." by
@NatashaLeake
Remember when Gervais wrote two entire series of Derek, solely because he got criticised like twice for joking about disabled people. Nobody comes close to Gervais for insisting they don't give a fuck while transparently giving the biggest amount of fucks possible
"Susan Boyle is gross and looks disabled, disabled people being disgusting of course"
"Uh, mate..."
"Oh, I'm sorry, are you offended? My wife is dead, sir"
It isn't the job of journalists to find out whether something is true or not. Their role is just to pass on messages from anonymous sources and let us just kind of guess if it's bollocks or not
Love how these guys always claim to be in favour of nuanced, informed debate, but as soon as people try to have a public discussion about a complicated issue like cultural appropriation they just start yelling OH SO I'M A BIG RACIST NAZI FOR MAKING A PIZZA AM I
Appointing Sue Gray to a job seems like a move designed purely to appeal to those people on here who occasionally post their cross-party Fantasy Cabinet lists that have like Gary Lineker and Hugh Grant in them
I'm so tired of being talked to by the media like this, they act like everyone who feels disillusioned with or poorly served by the current electoral offer is just an idiot who doesn't understand politics
Across the country there is the most the most corrosive cynicism about politics. We can argue about why it’s there, and it’s justified sometimes, but it can also be reflexive and unfair. Not sure we should laud and amplify it without good reason- Sunak and Starmer have their
Rachel Reeves writing in the fucking Sun to say the Tories are exactly the same as evil Jeremy Corbyn is such a pure, concentrated level of 'fuck you' to the left. I hate myself quite a lot and even I still respect myself too much to vote for this
EXCL: Rachel Reeves launches her most blistering attack on the Tories yet!
She compares Rishi Sunak's manifesto to Jeremy Corbyn's!
"The approach the Conservatives are taking now is the same as the approach Jeremy Corbyn took.
"I totally reject it"
If you just yell 'dickhead!' at the telly any time you see a politician, history will ultimately record you as being a smarter and more insightful political analyst than pretty much anybody who follows politics for a living
“Impressive performer, whatever your politics” - Richard Osman
“Slick as fuck” - Dom Joly
“Impressive and reassuring” - Ian Dunt
“Did he join the wrong party by mistake?” - James O’Brien
“Oh lor, oh crikey, oh heavens” - Stephen Fry
Like, if your reaction to hearing a nurse is struggling to feed herself and her three kids is to try and pick holes in her story and offer 'advice' despite knowing almost nothing about her, you're an arsehole. Be honest with yourself, call us leftie scum and tell us to fuck off
Might be time to log off for the day, my mentions are about to get unbearable. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe yelling at me about trans women is the correct response to horrifying stories of lethal intimate partner violence committed by cis men, who can say. Take it easy
Bleeding to death in an abandoned warehouse where Donald Trump has shot me fifty times in the chest, I use my final moments on earth to do a search on his tweets, trying to find one from 2009 where he'd explicitly said he would never shoot someone fifty times, to own him
The reason I want the Tories out is because I think Tory policies and ideology are bad and harmful and need to be actively worked against, so I'd prefer it if Labour didn't adopt them. Are people aware that politics has actual material consequences or is it just a game
I’ve said this before: the Starmer strategy has always seemed to me to be declaring his party is now basically Labour and the Tories combined, with the actual Tories being UKIP. Downsides: this pisses people off on the left. Upsides: 45% of the country votes for you.
The Tory mindset is to go "100k really isn't that much you know!" but not then have the basic curiousity to imagine how hard it therefore must be for the millions who earn fucking fractions of this
Fascinating to watch the media campaign to force Apsana Begum to move out of her council house, so they can eventually do this to her when she buys a new inevitably overpriced London gaff
Wild how these fucking pieces all briefly touch on the fact that millennials earn fuck-all compared to previous generations and pay sky-high rents, but nevertheless ultimately conclude that the entire generation is just afflicted by some kind of vague moral failing
A lot of this poppy stuff was made up in the last 15 years or so. Football clubs all having poppies on their shirts was largely a result of a ridiculous Daily Mail pressure campaign in 2010
Again, there was no poppy fever and demonstrative wreath-waving when I was a kid, because it would’ve been seen as crass and undignified. And I am talking thirty-odd years ago here.
I remember watching one of the pre-election TV debates and an audience member asked a question about women, and I immediately sighed because I knew what was coming. Ten years or so ago women's rights covered a huge area of discussion, and now it just means anti-trans somehow
One lesson I've learned repeatedly on here is that if you're on the left politically you will never be considered an 'ordinary person'. To learn the views of ordinary people we must in fact listen to right-wing celebrities who've read some Facebook posts and comment sections
Work colleague who I've known for 7 years split up with her partner of 20-odd years recently and just showed me a picture of him for the first time. He's got his arm round a guy in the picture and my colleague didn't know who it was, had to explain that it's Tommy Robinson
Ah, the heartwarming tale of how the mother of a child with disabilities has to spend her life scooping up whatever shit is in the reduced section of multiple different supermarkets and eating it after its best before date
Not saying I'm not a little bit middle class by background, but it would be nice if, just once, the people berating me for being an out-of-touch middle class elitist were people who earned less money than me
Always amazing to me when people write this shit about productivity and what types of work are vital and important, when their job is 'newspaper columnist'
Incredible how quickly "well obviously it would be impossible to offer everyone free/subsidised NHS dental treatment" became accepted, we literally had it in my lifetime and I'm not even that old
Excited about Jonathan Pie's vision of the future where we still have to keep patiently explaining to racists why racism is bad, over and over again, in the 21st fucking century
"If your opinion is that the colour of your skin makes you superior to me because of the colour of my skin, you should be able to say it. Because then I can argue against you."
@jonathanpienews
(out of character) says we must defend our right to freedom of speech.