Daisy Buchanan @NotRollergirl Twitter profile

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Daisy Buchanan

6 months

I'd like to invite you to a party... PITY PARTY is coming this July. And I hope you enjoy it as much as @MarianKeyes @laurenbravo @LindseyKelk @Lecv and Louise O'Neill did...I think (hope!) it will make you laugh. And cry.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

2 years

Dare I hit send?

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

2 years

Today is my 69th sober day. I am delighted to report that even without alcohol I am still highly amused by the number 69.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

5 years

Very brave of Harry and Meghan to pick January as the month to go freelance.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

3 years

I just smiled idiotically at a tiny puppy that a woman was carrying under her arm. As I got closer I realised it was a salad.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

5 years

“It’s just like wartime,” she thought, after waiting for eighteen minutes to enter Tesco Metro in order to purchase a bottle of Malbec and a large Toblerone.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

6 years

ME: Phone, I have a very important meeting in July. Here is the date. Please don't forget. PHONE: Sorry, I am only going to remember one thing for you ever, and it's The Battle Of The Boyne.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

2 years

My sister on WhatsApp, approximately 45 minutes before her heart was broken forever.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

3 years

To be fair I did do massive, constant, terrible crimes until we got a lady Doctor Who.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

4 years

Who’s your favourite Bond? Mine is James Bond.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

3 years

I saw this poster in a junk shop and I’ve been thinking about it all day. I mean, they’re not wrong.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

7 years

Sister's boyfriend on his terrible show off housemate: "If I've been to Tenerife, he's been to Elevenerife."

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

4 years

The quiet period between Christmas and New Year is a really lovely time to catch up on all of your reading. For example, I am currently reading the Wikipedia entry for Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

7 years

What breaks my heard about the Louis CK story isn’t just the abuse of women - it’s what happened afterwards, how they were forced to be smaller and quieter and hide their talents to protect an abuser.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

8 years

I think this is the most thrilling photo caption that The Times will ever publish.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

7 years

What is happening isn’t the work of a handful of creeps with “problems”. THIS is a world where men are given the space to abuse and women are tacitly encouraged to be complicit because AFTER ALL, THAT’S WHAT WE’RE THERE FOR, RIGHT?!?

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

4 years

The Emily Ratajkowski piece is truly courageous. It’s brought home to me how wrongly dismissive I’ve sometimes felt about her and other women who appear to benefit from the ‘privilege’ of staggering beauty.I shouldn’t have needed reminding that all bodies can be hard to live in.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

5 years

I think about this A LOT. A few years ago I read something that claimed 30 per cent of women surveyed wore their knickers over their tights, and 20 per cent of women “didn’t know”.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

5 years

I used to ghostwrite a column for Dappy. My one good story is that he liked to pretend to be a shoplifter before taunting the shop assistants by suddenly and dramatically producing his credit card. He called this "doing a madness".

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

4 years

I am very sad to hear that Accessorize has gone into administration. Have a horrible feeling that it might have something to do with the fact that I haven't been able to spend nine thousand pounds on sarongs in the Gatwick terminal branches. Before a two day holiday. To Dublin.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

3 years

It’s the FIFTEEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY of Preston storming out on Buzzcocks.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

3 years

As Brian Harvey said at my graduation ball ‘I don’t know why you’d pay money for something and boo.’

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

3 years

The existence of the Hotel du Vin implies the existence of an Hotel du Pain and an Hotel du Boursin.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

9 years

This @caitlinmoran column is BEAUTIFUL. Go and buy today's Times and get this laminated.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

5 years

In the last six months I’ve lost just over three stone, and and thrilled to be able to report that I can finally fit into a Zara Large.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

3 years

I AM SO TIRED OF LITERARY FICTION AND WRITERS NOT USING SPEECH MARKS! I WANT NOVELS FILLED WITH CAPITAL LETTERS AND EXCLAMATION MARKS!!!

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

6 years

I am NOT ENJOYING La La Land. It is like being trapped on a bad date. A great musical is a work of art and this is a £9.99 Live Laugh Love print in a TK Maxx clearance bin.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

6 years

I am SO JEALOUS that Hayley has somehow managed to avoid the entire concept of Brexit. #loveisland

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

3 years

Our boiler is broken. I've put on a hat, a scarf, three jumpers and some gloves. If I can roll a six, I get to have a go at eating some chocolate with a knife and fork.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

4 years

Getting harassed, aged 26: Can I come on your tits? Getting harassed, aged 36: Can I come on your podcast?

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

3 months

This is absolutely devastating to hear, @Waterstones - Tilly is a passionate, engaged, devoted asset to your company. And it's devastating for the legions of us who have spent a lot of money in your shops on books that have been written to make everyone feel seen and included.

Tilly

@TillyLovesBooks

3 months

Hey #BookTwitter . I think you hopefully all know I generally try to keep this a positive space, but I can’t really put a positive spin on how I feel right now. My heart is broken, and I’m so disappointed in a company who won’t forgive a single mistake like this.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

4 years

This @popbitch story truly has everything.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

6 years

Hey @itv2 PLEASE don’t advertise weight loss products during #Loveisland - you’ve got an impressionable audience who might already be worrying about the way they look. Be responsible. Be better.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

7 years

@stuheritage My Dad would say standing ovations. Every time he goes to the theatre he gets furious about how it’s “the symptom of a culture that celebrates mediocrity”.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

7 years

This is from a collection of money saving tips in Take A Break. Why not wear your clothes more than once?

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

3 years

Husband: Don't we usually have a blanket on the bottom of the bed? Me: Yeah, I took it to the pub.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

3 years

I hate to brag, but I’ve been going through my photo album and I’ve had a really magical year. I’ve achieved things beyond my wildest dreams and I really do feel profoundly #blessed .

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

2 years

HARD WON LIFE LESSONS FROM YOUR LATE THIRTIES - HOW TO WRITE AN EMAIL 1. Write the email 2. Delete half the exclamation marks 3. Delete the other half of the exclamation marks

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

3 years

Deleting my dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way, pricking my finger on a spinning wheel, sleeping for decades and waiting for True Love’s kiss to find me.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

4 years

There must be a German word for the specific grumpy sadness a person feels when they Google that blue flowery dress Jodie Comer wore on Killing Eve and discover it is a Vampire’s Wife one that costs six hundred pounds.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

9 years

"I'm worried that my name won't look posh enough on the display." "Don't worry, we'll put you next to Smith."

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

3 years

I offer this as an entirely unscientific observation - for global and personal reasons, pretty much everyone I know seems to feel utterly burned out, broken, grinding to a halt. I think we've been trying to make sense of big things for so long, now smaller things are felling us.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

5 years

Me: I shall send that to myself on an email. Also me: Oooh, new email!

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

6 years

Last year, I was sexually assaulted. Because of the #metoo movement I felt that I could report it - and that I had no need to feel ashamed. If it was not for #metoo I’d still be keeping it secret. I was able to heal because of the courage of other women. Thank you. #IWD2019

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

6 years

Gosh, imagine being a man and having an advert make you feel inadequate, not good enough, and maybe a little guilty. I LITERALLY CANNOT IMAGINE HOW THAT FEELS. *all of the side eyes in the world*

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

2 years

Friendly* reminder (*not actually that friendly if I'm being entirely honest). Absolutely fine not to like a book. Put that thought on Instagram if you must! But if you tag the author you will make them feel truly terrible for some time. Do you like to make people feel terrible?

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

6 years

By the time you’re 35 you should have saved up a year’s worth of carrier bags under your kitchen sink - and by the time you’re 40, enough carrier bags to hold all of your retirement groceries.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

1 year

All emails now: Hello! Remember us? That hotel with the gritty beds just off the A34? You stayed here for a conference in 2015? You can make these messages stop! Just tell us that your Dad's dead.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

4 years

I think I’m allowed to say this - just found out that #Insatiable is the highest new entry in the hardback fiction chart this week. All my love and thanks to the truly miraculous booksellers who are getting the word out about the 🍊 without being fully open!

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

4 years

. @thetimes I’m a subscriber and I think I’m going to cancel. I am so utterly enraged and disappointed by the dog whistle racism in this tweet. This is some of the most irresponsible writing I have ever seen.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

7 years

I scripted a short animation for @BBCRadio4 to celebrate the story and legacy of the Suffragettes - and ACTUAL @ScarlettMoffatt reads it! ❤️❤️❤️ #100years

BBC Radio 4 - Radio 4 in Four, What did the suffragettes do for you?

Scarlett Moffatt tells the story of women’s suffrage.

www.bbc.co.uk

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

9 years

The thing is that no matter what I read, I will be voting Labour because of what Bridget Jones says: http://t.co/rai8eHt164

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

2 years

I stopped drinking alcohol just over a hundred days ago. My drinking seemed 'fine'. No-one thought it was anything other than 'normal'. But it was making me very, very sad.

Drinking Problem

How I fell out of love with alcohol

notrollergirl.medium.com

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

4 years

If you went to Margate beach today, I’m one of a team of volunteers who just spent a good hour of our Friday nights picking up your litter.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

6 years

By the age of 30 you should have: A Whatsapp group you hate but feel too guilty to leave An extremely expensive scented candle you bought three years ago, with about half an hour of wax left A Zoopla habit that makes you feel slightly more depressed every month

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

3 years

It could be worse, you could be Chris De Burgh, singing ‘darnce’ not ‘dance’ and then realising you now have to sing ‘romarnce’.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

3 years

It took me all day, but I am very pleased with my #MetGala joke.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

9 years

Up went our hands, and out we got thrown for being underage.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

3 years

This is the sort of rain that would render the most robust Austen heroine bedbound for six weeks.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

4 years

“I hope not sporadically!”

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

4 years

Worrying that I have started to think of the red Lindor as the ‘savoury’ Lindor.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

3 years

It’s SO SO WEIRD to think that I know exactly what every single one of my ex boyfriends is doing right now.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

4 years

My parents are moving and they have discovered some teen and pre teen diaries. Was hoping to discover evidence of precious writing genius. Found furious unsent letter to local radio station demanding that they play more ‘classic’ PJ and Duncan.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

4 years

I might look like an adult lady opening champagne and saying ‘twist the bottle, not the cork’ but in my heart I am screaming ‘LIGHT THE LAMP NOT THE RAT’.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

5 years

Well, I think she might be the one on the left but I can't be sure.

Tatler

@Tatlermagazine

5 years

Who is James Middleton’s girlfriend, Alizee Thevenet?

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

3 years

First summer sighting of a woman wearing The (spotty Zara) Dress! Nature is healing.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

4 years

GUYS! Big personal news - hate to brag, but I know that you're often inspired when I share my achievements, so here goes: Just found out that I've gained nearly a stone since March.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

3 years

So glad I moved house with 37 pairs of unwearably laddered opaque tights. Well done me.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

4 years

Marry me, @popbitch .

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

6 years

The LAST thing I’d want is a relationship with someone who keeps me on my toes. My marriage works because my husband and I love sitting on our arses. #loveisland

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

4 years

"Hi there, I'm a huge fan of your work. However, I have been completely silent about my fandom until now - because I need you to post on Instagram about my new business, which is selling bars of soap made from tiny squidged up bits of old soap, for awareness."

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

9 years

On results day, lots of girls from school went to club in Bournemouth to celebrate. DJ says 'hands in the air if you just got your GCSEs!'

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

9 years

TOP GEAR VIEWERS ARE EXPECTED TO BE SO BEWILDERED BY A "WOMAN" THAT SHE HAS TO WEAR A SHIRT EXPLAINING WHAT SHE IS.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

7 years

Would you consider becoming the leader of the Labour party?

Cher

@cher

12 years

Whats going on with mycareer

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

3 years

Do you love your job - but hate trying to make it love you back? Are you sick of Imposter Syndrome, #girlboss talk and the Sunday Scaries? Have you had white wine and kettle chips for dinner lately? Meet Harri and Imogen… #careering

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

2 years

@FernBrady Someone on here once said they believed 98% of the world's body dysmorphia can be traced back to the phrase 'Zara Large'.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

5 years

I AM SO, SO EXCITED! The fabulous team @BooksSphere will be publishing my debut novel, Insatiable, in 2021.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

7 years

Freelangst - the point in early January at which your smugness about not having to return to an office transmogrifies into questioning your career, future and very existence.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

6 years

At 33 I am still insecure enough to hold a security pass instead of wearing it around my neck because I don’t want the imaginary cool girls to think I’m “sad”.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

5 years

This is the best, BEST thing that has ever been on @popbitch . TOXIC BY BRITNEY SPEARS IS ABOUT DR NOEL THE SUPERVET.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

7 years

One day I hope to have sex that is as good and satisfying as plunging my little finger inside the corner of my eye and having a scratch.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

5 years

Love the idea of #buynothingday - but I've spent the year trying to get to the bottom of my shopping problem and if you are struggling with the urge to get down with "mindless consumerism" I FEEL YOU. Please don't beat yourself up if Black Friday makes you feel out of control.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

3 years

I’ve struggled with the calendars and tracker apps, but the only thing that works for me is this: If I start thinking about spending £500 on a Dyson hairdryer, I know that my period is two days away.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

6 years

I am heartbroken. I worked with so many HUGELY talented people. If you were outside watching it happen, please don’t pontificate on what went wrong, it doesn’t help us. Please find ways to continue to support the work of the amazing team instead.

Zoe Beaty

@zoe_beaty

6 years

The Pool is officially over. No one can say anything coherent right now. But we have fucking done our best. My colleagues are steel. My managers are steel. I am sad.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

6 years

I FINISHED MY BOOK I FINISHED MY BOOK! (The one I’m writing, not the one I’m reading.) I’ve had two mojitos! Life is lovely! Everything is gonna be just fiiiiiiiiiiine! Until I get my edits back!

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

6 years

This is definitely the strongest look from the Met Gala.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

6 years

Please enjoy my new Simpsons style spooky Halloween name. I picked the most frightening thing I could think of.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

4 years

Reeva Steenkamp was killed. In England and Wales alone, two women a week are killed by their partners. Last year the number of women killed by a partner or ex rose by a third. Violence against women is endemic. This erases Reeva. It erases the women who have died violently.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

10 years

"You're ruining my orgy memories." CRY ME A RIVER SPENCER MATTHEWS. #madeinchelsea

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

5 years

“Why are boys’ feelings girl’s responsibility?” @sarapascoe in today’s @TheSTMagazine is infuriatingly excellent, this piece is worth buying the paper for. I CAN’T WAIT for Sara’s new book.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

7 years

ALL TOGETHER NOW! There is NOTHING FEMINIST about dismissing the feminine! You can choose books and looks! You are not Mrs Wormwood!

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

5 years

Me: If a failing high street women's clothing brand reissued their old designs, my pals and I would buy everything and they might survive! Unknown bald, bearded man on Twitter, who is wearing a fleece in his profile picture: YOU ARE QUITE WRONG.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

3 years

I'm so, so sad to hear about Sarah Hughes - a BRILLIANT writer and a limitlessly kind and generous supporter of writers and of reading.

‘Find a part of each day to relish’: coping with cancer and Covid

This year has challenged us all. But for Sarah Hughes it’s been particularly hard. Here, she talks about living with cancer – and letting in the light in the darkest of times

www.theguardian.com

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

4 years

WRITING TIP: If you’re working on a novel and you have lost all track of when you set it and how much time is supposed to have elapsed, throw in a quick “It was unseasonably misty...”

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

5 years

I'm sure this is too too obvious and they have either done it, or there is a very good reason why they haven't done it, but I'm sure Laura Ashley could make KAJILLIONS by reissuing their archive pieces.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

5 years

Me, reading an interview with a celeb: Ah, they are 35. That is why they have achieved so much. They are a proper, actual grown up. Brain: You do know you’re 34?

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

7 years

LISTEN, MATEY. TODAY IS NOT THE DAY FOR THIS. THERE ARE 364 DAYS OF THE YEAR THAT AREN'T THIS SPECIAL ANNIVERSARY. DO IT THEN. AND DO IT ON YOUR OWN TIME. DO NOT PIGGYBACK ON THE WORK OF WOMEN.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

4 years

This year has been so awful that they can’t even give it away.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

4 years

COME IN NUMBER NINE, YOUR TIME IS NOW!

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

5 years

“I won’t go to the little Tesco because their milk selection is rubbish, they only have almond...” Tell me the sentence YOUR brain was thinking when you realised YOU had become a twat.

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Daisy Buchanan

@NotRollergirl

3 years

I'm so upset about being a Geriatric Millennial that I'm on my third rotation of Thong Song.

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