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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬› Profile
Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›

@GlitterMagpie_

1,755
Followers
727
Following
4,723
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43,940
Statuses

Not a proper grownup πŸˆβ€β¬› πŸ•πŸŒΏπŸ“šπŸ·πŸ§™β€β™€οΈ

Scouser in Surrey
Joined March 2009
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@GlitterMagpie_
Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
2 years
I've grown up with cats, had them all my life. Would describe myself as an experienced cat owner, but sometimes I still fall for their shit. Tried a new catfood and they loved it so I bought a massive box. We all know how this ended
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
4 years
Got an interview tomorrow! πŸŽ‰ For a role I would love. Positive thoughts very welcomed!
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
3 years
HAPPY DECREE ABSOLUTE DAY TO ME!! πŸŽ‰πŸŽŠπŸ˜πŸ₯‚πŸΎπŸŽ†βœ¨
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
3 years
You must sacrifice a pen to the laptop demon
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
2 years
It was my one year divorceaversary this week. Its a big deal for me because I was with my emotionally abusive ex husband for 15 years and when I finally left him he tried to destroy me. I then waited 4 years to be strong enough to deal with him to get divorced. I'm happy now.
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
2 years
I'm going into London tonight to watch a comedian and my anxiety is already through the roof. Feel like I might throw up and I've had a little cry. Hate feeling like this, its just so stupid. Solidarity to everyone living with anxiety, its really fucking shit.
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
3 years
@SpillerOfTea @BBCNews Yep, it was always parent/guardian when I was at school, and that was the 80s
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
2 years
Its that time of year where after bringing in washing from the line I get to play the great game of Still Damp or Just Cold?
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
5 years
@matthaig1 Anxiety came for me hard today but thanks to my amazing boyfriend and spending the afternoon reading your book I'm feeling better and positive that tomorrow can be a better day.
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
3 years
Asking my kitten why he's asleep in a pan
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
4 years
I GOT THE JOB!!!!!!!!
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
3 years
I'm 42, I'm definitely not having children, I feel I should be allowed to take 6 months kitten leave
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
3 years
Putting my child in front of the TV so I can have a glass of wine in peace. Bad mother
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
1 year
Not sure about this new cereal
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
5 months
Just had my 1-1 with my boss. Him: Is there anything else I could do to make your work life better? Me: Office cat
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
2 years
OK but this one is definitely a barking dog, yes?
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
5 years
@SKEEerra When my emotionally abusive ex found out I was in a new relationship he ranted that what made it worse was that he is a "f*cking dweeb*. 3 years on and he's still the greatest guy I've ever met and I am truly happier than I ever thought possible
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
2 years
Thursday
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
3 years
This is Bert. He's an excellent dog. He used to live on the streets of Romania. He's very wary of men he doesn't know but he is an absolute love bug and so soppy over everyone he knows and trusts. Bert knows it's not all men, but it's possibly each man until he knows it isn't
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
3 years
JC inspecting my new boots
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
5 months
The boyfriend cancelled his gym membership and bought a peloton. After a couple of weeks I bought some of those weird shoes and decided to give it a go. Never done a spin class in my life. First session yesterday and today I am very tender in the general area of my lady tunnel
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
3 years
Thanks for all the birthday love! 43 ain't so bad. Apologies if I don't reply to anything for a while, we're about to watch IT Chapter 2 and it's about a week long 🎈
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
3 years
Trying to get him to embrace his bed because last night he mostly slept on my head
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
2 years
I like my hair today so here is my face
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
11 months
My dad has given me some spending money for my holiday. I am 44 years old 😁
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
2 years
I mentioned a while ago that a lady in the supermarket told me she loved my hair and it made me happy all day. I'd always been too worried of coming across as a weirdo in the past but last weekend I told the barmaid I loved her earrings and a woman on the tube that her trousers
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
2 years
A woman in the supermarket stopped to tell me my hair looked wonderful. Absolutely made my day 😊
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
8 months
Taking my 17 year old cat to the vet later to get a couple of things checked over. Positive vibes please because my heart cannot take any bad news for him
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
2 years
The kitten somehow caught an actual pigeon, that was bigger than him, brought it in through the catflap and then released it. Absolute bloody mayhem ensued.
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
3 years
The boyfriend and I have been together 5 years today. This photo was from our very first date and he's been keeping a smile on my face ever since πŸ–€
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
3 years
Festive hair πŸ”΄
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
2 years
Been so worried about the kitten being out for hours after it went dark. Been out shouting him, rattling dreamies, imagining all kinds. He's just emerged, yawning and stretching, from a slightly ajar cupboard. Very relieved, but also he's a little shit 😁
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
10 months
45 today. Best card
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
4 years
The boyfriend got the job!!! So happy! I cried. He starts in 2 weeks. We can now start looking at houses and bring my cats out of the cattery and properly start our new life down south.
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
2 years
My happy ever after. I am happy amd in love and it's a nice thing to share.
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
2 years
@deathofbuckley Cry away mate, I've got noise cancelling headphones. Lovely view from this window.
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
3 years
In other news, the kitten found himself in the gap between 2 sofa cushions and the result was quite extraordinary
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
4 years
Split with my husband 4 years ago. Left it a while as he went a bit psycho. Asked about divorce 6 months ago and he said he'd look into it. Followed up today and he's gone full psycho again. I hate the way he's still trying to manipulate me, I'm a stronger person now
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
1 year
@LiamLambrini This is the sort of encounter I think about when I wake at 3am 10 years later
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
4 years
Happy Friday y'all πŸ₯‚
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
3 years
Would like to introduce you all to our new family member. Johnny Cash.
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
2 years
3 years today since we picked Bert up from @Dogs4Rescue who had saved him from the Romanian streets. He is the goodest boy who just wants to love and be loved. He loves long walks and chilling on the couch equally πŸ₯°
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
1 year
We have found a house that would be pretty perfect for us. Agent is asking the landlord if they'll accept pets. Please, please send all the good vibes xx
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
7 months
Can we bring back being sent away to the seaside as one of the treatments for mental illness? Feel like it would help me mire than Talking Therapy.
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
4 years
My sim took her omelette with her on her jog and I applaud that energy
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
4 years
Ex has responded to say he's not contesting the divorce. Have applied for decree nisi
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
3 years
@ShappiKhorsandi Maybe I should have had a child after all. Really can't be bothered to cook tonight and the cat is no help
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
2 years
@TankardSarah Haha love this! They quickly adapt to the good life. I have an ex street dog who has also become fussy for food 😊
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
4 years
Changing from pyjamas to leggings and a baggy tshirt counts as getting dressed, yes?
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
3 years
Several years ago I ended up in a very dark place. I could see no way out, but what kept me here was my cats. I'd made a commitment to them to keep them safe and so I couldn't leave them. So I never want to here that it's just a cat, or just a dog. They're family.
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
4 years
Right the third and final interview for the job I really want has been pushed forward to today at 2pm. I've got my lucky leggings on and I'm ready!
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
3 years
Practising his scary crab
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
3 years
There is a kitten asleep against my leg, I have wine and a book in reach. I am content
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
3 years
If you're not following the wonderful Lucy you are missing out on some amazing Halloween outfit content.
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
1 year
I bought a bikini. First one in about 20 years and I am about 4 stone heavier than the last time. Anyway, I don't hate it and feel confident enough to wear. Sounds like a small thing but it's quite a big deal for me. Now I just need some sun!!
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
2 years
Occasionally I wonder if I made the right choice to not have children. Then I hear the girl next door having a screaming meltdown because she arranged the tortilla chips in a swirl and her mother has ruined it by filling up the bowl & I take a sip of wine and return to my book
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
5 years
@LucyENichol When Murrt walks into a room he gets "here comes the Muuuurt" to the tune of Here Come the Girls. I think he appreciates it, he's a bit of a diva
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
3 years
Ffs
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
1 year
The boyfriend has just been served possibly the worst pint of guinness in all of time
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
1 year
@dmisstify1 Cannot believe people still do this. Well done for saving the poor dog
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
4 years
42 today. Class card from the boyfriend πŸŽ‰
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
2 years
Nobody will remember: - Your salary - Your fancy title - How β€˜busy’ you were - How stressed you were - How many hours you worked They will remember: - That time @Dazenger got arrested at Glasto because @bfafleck did a joke
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
4 years
@JimMFelton Drinking wine in the bath is like a war
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
2 years
Cat Twitter is lovely. I did a lighthearted tweet about cats being fussy bugger and have had people laughing, commiserating, sharing stories, cat photos, asking for and sharing advice. It's been a joy. Out of 500 odd replies I've only had about 7 nasty ones. A twitter miracle
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
1 year
I've mopped the floor so the cat has to wait 10 minutes for it to dry before he can have food. He says this is the worst thing that has ever happened
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
5 years
@matthaig1 And one of the reasons I share is in hope that others won't feel ashamed to
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
4 years
Guess who's excited to be going to the pub for the first time in 6 months?
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
4 years
@lauralexx People go into a pub, drink one sip, have a short but intense conversation then walk out LEAVING ALL THE ALCOHOL VIRTUALLY UNTOUCHED.
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
2 years
Just been talking on here about how my 16 year old cat has taken to smacking me or the boyfriend in the face at 3am because he wants strokes. Here he is now, making sure he's fully rested ahead of time
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
2 years
Think someone 5 miles away might be having a bbq
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
2 years
@binkiemma Oh yes. I have many, many unused beds. This one prefered a pan πŸ€¦β€β™€οΈ
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
4 years
Every so often I buy San Miguel because it was my grandad's favourite and it makes me happy to remember him while I drink it.
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
1 year
@deathofbuckley Also need to make Caternity leave a thing
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
2 years
@Jenn7_4 The betrayed stare. Little gits
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
2 years
Behold my new phone case from @GailMyerscough . I'm so pleased with it, the design is gorgeous and it's great quality.
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
4 years
We're going to view a house to hopefully rent today so I've tidied myself up a bit. #DressUPnotdown #dund
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
4 years
42 ain't so bad. Already had cards, prezzies,a banner, loads of lovely messages and a fried egg butty. Later a video call with the girls, takeaway and fizz
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
11 years
My grandad was a miner, my dad & brother are Hillsborough survivors. Don't tell me I should show respect, she showed my family none
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
4 years
@pixietit2 It's weird how everyone I've spoke to on the phone today is having a technical issue. My job? Oh I'm on a technical help desk. I'm sure that's unrelated tho
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
3 years
He's caught a fish
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
2 years
Last time I went on holiday abroad was 2019 and I was so unwell mentally. Came home, had a breakdown and barely left the house for 3 months. The boyfriend has just suprised me with plane tickets to Nashville in Oct and I'm so excited and grateful that I'm in a place to enjoy it
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
3 years
On a scale of 1 to glow in the dark sharks, how weird is my floating cupboard?
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
2 years
New housemate was waiting for me when I got home. Seems v friendly πŸ™‚ @VimtoTime
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
5 months
@IrradiatedMouse Solidarity from someone who did the same with a satsuma
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
3 years
Friday 13th doesn't scare me. I have my lucky black cat
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
2 years
Facts
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
5 years
@bertkreischer My last flight 8am πŸ›« 🍸
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
7 months
I was filling out my 3 Nice Things from today in my journal and I got to put, a friend sent me a little soft worm in the post
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
2 years
Do my fairylights look like boobs? πŸ€”
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
1 year
Rebrightened the bonce
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
2 years
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
4 years
@popsicle_____ I feel I speak for the entire human race when I say, noone is impressed by a flaccid penis
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
7 months
In bad news, the boyfriend's hoodie shrunk a bit in the wash. In good news, I have a new hoodie
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
2 years
Not to be one of those nostalgia accounts, but what was Xmas number 1 the year you were born? Mine was Mary's Boy Child - Bony M. Pretty decent
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
3 years
I love that he always likes to hold my hand πŸ₯°
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
3 years
If it (almost) fits, I sits
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
2 years
Anyway, here's a baby bat πŸ₯°
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
1 year
Cheers my loves, I'm having a lovely, relaxed little camping trip
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
3 years
#NationalSuperheroDay you say? Ah fuck it, here's a throwback to 2017 me in my batman pants
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Lisa πŸˆβ€β¬›
1 year
Festival ready!!
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