captain cornbread @xxcornbread Twitter profile

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captain cornbread

7 years

nonviolence does not mean passive and most importantly, dont use nonviolence as means to silence other protesters while being a passive fuck

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

1 year

Changed my body from the way God made it, It reflects my altered mind. PS tysm @StarmansArt 🫶🏾

𝖦𝗋𝗂𝗆𝖾𝗌 ⏳

@Grimezsz

1 year

Changed my body from the way God made it, It reflects my altered mind.

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

3 years

brb hanging with my girl

pokimane

@pokimanelol

3 years

all moved in, any girls wanna come over?

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

5 months

@FelipeEgoavil @credenzaclear2 yes being “being mexican” isnt an /insult/

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

8 years

guymon: ugh people who only wear boots during pioneer days are so fake *wears sneakers to the rodeo* guymon: ugh really? sneakers?

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

7 years

i was born in the wrong generation- not bc i like queen or w/e music- but bc life expectancy now is like triple digits and im trying TO GO

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

8 years

thought i was drowning but @matt_fletch threw me a finals week life jacket ☺️. go frickin pokes 🏀🍊🔫

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

4 months

whatever u do!! DO NOT get ur @benquadok merch from temu!! what is this??

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

5 years

it is with great joy in my heart that i have so blessed to be able to announce not my pregnancy, nor my graduation, nor my new home marriage proposal new car astronaut boyfriend but instead i will be starting a candy review channel on youtube

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

7 years

2018 is about not talking to anyone who was like “i hate this semester im gonna fail all my classes” and they passed with a 3.8 semester gpa YALL FAKES CAN STAY IN 2017

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

7 months

happy cornbread yearly thirst trap day to all who celebrate!!!!!!

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

8 months

loded diper is americas favorite butt rock band. sorry @benquadok

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

6 months

oh yeah my bad what is the politically correct term i should be using for the people i am trying to disagree with and make fun of?? just so no one gets offended…

bæddel-meinhof

@t34doll

6 months

i hate how tumblr popularized "freak" as an acceptable alternative to the other insults that were deemed too ableist. it indicates that one's politics are governed by the fascist disgust reaction. different = disgusting = enemy = target. "freak" was my brothers' replacement for

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

6 years

high school irene sipping everclear in a basement walked so 22 yr old irene chugging tequila evry weekend could RUN

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

4 months

how i dress (^:

Chad MacMaster ♞

@_todayinthelife

4 months

How I dress

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

6 years

im feelin rly inspired by that other tweet so if yall want, like this and ill tweet u a doodle could be ur avi, could be a dog with a croc on his head ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

4 years

on//off

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

7 months

not a thirst bait tweet but sometimes when im sad i put on a cutie little ~set~ and fold my laundry/do my chores french maid style and i know smth abt that is fucked up but idk man the clothes have to get put away!!!

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

8 years

I BEAT TEEN PREGNANCY

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

7 months

the face of a little man who tucked himself in to wait for santa

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

6 years

being an immigrant is hard bc sometimes ur homesick for a place ur not really from but still an outsider where you are theres a feeling of displacement in ur heart so you tend to cling to people to feel like home but convincing yourself you belong is different than believing it

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

7 years

hello plz just let me sell u my tamales i am poor mexican girl peddlin my wares

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

7 months

man has sent me four memes in a row with no reply. ooh he want me

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

7 months

january to decembuary 23 i dont know if i miss my hair or not. blonde irene is a psychopath but shes ME

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

8 years

one time my boss told me my bra straps couldnt show so i just stopped wearing a bra to work

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

5 years

repeat after me emotional intimacy and physical intimacy are different

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

8 years

playing a dangerous game #NationalSendANudeDay

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

8 years

i miss guymon bc you could get bomb ass tacos basically whenever you want

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

6 years

i just spent $16 on 3 tacos... guymon ok would NEVER disrespect me like this

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

7 years

casually online shopping when the universe gives me a sign

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

5 years

shot my shot today and let me tell u its over rated and not worth it and quite frankly im more than okay with being disgusting and unlovable and alone forever

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

5 months

looksmaxxing update

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

6 years

after having a friendsgiving and a true old family thanksgiving i have realized that there is no difference in the humor of an 8 year old and a group of 20 yr olds just a language barrier

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

5 years

quit trying to have weird rules and keep score with ppl be genuine with others and urself and im sure ull have more than enough fulfilling relationships

sheen

@TisdaleShane1

5 years

Quit texting people first and see how many dead plants you been watering

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

7 years

literally i know 3 post malone songs but BITCH HERE I AM

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

5 months

@PillagePro @FelipeEgoavil @credenzaclear2 thats actually an insane take!! being from a country isn’t inflammatory you fucking lamp

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

7 years

i have 15 hours of homework due at midnight and the only way i convinced myself to be productive was by wearing these glasses

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

6 months

sabrina carpenter is so hot i would literally drag myself through a pile of broken glass and barbed wire to smell the air after she flipped her hair

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

5 years

instagram baddie mentality with a teletubby body

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

7 months

lost my girl virginity

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

5 years

do i like having multiple hoes or do i like having a singular romantic ho??? youd think the latter but my refusal to give up the hoes is alarming

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

6 years

fixed my brows and gained 30 lbs. still the same amount of lame #2012v2018

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

7 months

forgive me father for i have sinned. (i made a french 75 with sweet and sour)

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

6 years

2019 most likely isnt my year and my year probably wont be until like 2039 but grateful to get another one out of the freakin way

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

7 years

good morning to everyone except my 8:30 who didnt cancel

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

7 years

since banquet season is upon us semi formal does not mean wear ur old prom dress

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

7 months

these threads r so silly they always make me teehee 🤭

sat! (𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆/𝗵𝗲) ✰

@saturnsde1ty

7 months

most recent pic of urself🫵🏽

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

6 years

The Sprouse twins are the culmination of every boy ive ever had a crush on. ive had this type since middle school. imagine little 11 yr old me crying into a tiger beat magazine over these boys.

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

8 years

if one of yall little homewreckers are gonna tell my dad my hair is pink you can go ahead and tell him that its temporary too

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

8 months

hello? with whom am i squeaking

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

2 years

another date another “do u wanna listen to my demo” bro do i look like the manager from big time rush or what

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

6 years

im sorry if i ever teased anyone for being pink. i got a sunburn and this is so miserable. lesson learned no one is stronger than the sun

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

7 years

humble brag but my only motivation in life is to prove to other people that i can do anything better than them

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

4 years

3 sips of a beer time to tell a boy i miss him

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

6 months

listen to me carefully!! when i say he was THE ONE i mean it you only get a handful of those a month

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

4 months

can 1 to 200 of you cashapp me 1 to 200 dollars so i can get a pair of cowboy boots for work and make the most tips ever by being super impossibly cute on the patio thank you

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

5 years

my roommates are disgusting

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

7 months

i have decided to become evil again

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

7 years

i have a 4:30 am alarm that ive been able to sleep through for who knows how long that ive only now discovered by being awake at 4:30

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

5 years

its hot girl summer and im built like a vienna sausage

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

7 years

white people eat mf APPLESAUCE but will turn down food bc "its about the texture"

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

5 years

i refuse to admit how much i like mayonnaise so from now on it will only be referred to as mcchicken sauce this is also unrelated to the fact that i did not know mayonnaise was on a mcchicken and i rly thought it was a special sauce until i was 22

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

6 months

LOCKED IN

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

6 years

its 5 am and no is going to respond but i believe and respect aliens

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

5 years

its all cute and fun until you get a high waisted tan line

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

3 months

whats it called when ur a girl but gay men are attracted to you

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

3 years

me being bad at the dating apps is solely bc men will have 2 photos and im forced to say something stupid like “cool ferris wheel, is it yours?”

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

8 months

me // on repeat

crunch

@porcelainfruit

8 months

me, on repeat

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

8 years

Boys r pretty cool BC they can make you feel guilty about not talking to them enough while they flounce around another girl on snap (:

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

6 months

god he rly knows how to put that shit on!!!

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

7 months

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

7 years

do ya damn research red velvet is just chocolate cake ur dog, ur clothes and ur oranges are GMO's and kanye didnt re-invent adidas

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

5 months

whats the consensus on tipping ur tattoo artist?? they set the rate and you (hopefully) discuss pricing before hand? am i gross if i dont tip at the end?

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

6 years

1 like and ill wear my cow costume to my staff meeting

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

6 years

paid for gas in quarters happy first day of school

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

7 months

id crawl on my hands and knees through minefields full of barbed wire and broken glass and leeches for these

sam

@pinkmochhi

7 months

the long awaited release of those Sandy Liang slingback pumps is finally coming, on the 7th 💗

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

6 years

#OSUsGotTalent

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

6 years

once this pixie cut grows out into a luscious mullet its over for you hoes

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

7 years

i mean i dont think ive ever not benefited from owning a tiny cowboy hat

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

3 years

the emotional hold that the weird gas station roller foods has on me is probably unhealthy i have cried over a quiktrip hotdog

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

7 years

hope the person who stole $30 worth of leftovers and my dinner for tonight feels real good and also gets diarrhea

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

4 years

i try to pretend to have good taste in music but the only song i know is dear maria count me in

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

8 years

My dumbass just googled "am I the clitoris" on the schools wifi so ill be expecting my conduct meeting email bright and early tomorrow

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

6 years

44 years ago today we got Nixons State of the Union where he claimed that the year long investigation was a total waste of time i have a feeling that this years State of the Union is gonna have a similar vibe

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

6 years

how u gon love the earth but hate science

Laura Prepon

@LauraPrepon

6 years

Finally! Organic corn has arrived at the farmers market. Corn is one of the crops that is most sprayed with herbicides & pesticides, & is often genetically modified. Waiting for it to hit the farmers market is worth it—you’ll know you’re not feeding your family that awful stuff!

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

4 years

what if weezer was just one guy and it was actually just called meezer

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

7 years

wtf why is Clay such a frickin loser. i mean who keeps their porn on their desktop. you are asking for trouble??? like at least nest it tf

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

5 years

i feel as though my identity has been stolen

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

3 years

it took me so long to get cute and now ur telling me i have to compete with girls with actual torsos bruh im 3 apples fucking tall my boobs touch my belly button

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

6 years

daft punk who?? i only listen to the sweet funk fresh stylings of a little swedish pop group named ABBA

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

7 months

very few times have i seen a conversation posted where i think “oh you rly owned them” and not “okay but why do you keep replying????”

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

6 years

yeah i got a mean mug but thats bc i stopped wearing my glasses months ago and i am genuinely confused about my surroundings

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

6 years

im at the bars in my pajamas. is this my final form

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

7 months

bartending is like 90% explaining object permanence to adult men who dont tip bc they get grumpy that 3 oz looks small in big cup

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

7 months

beyond pissed that the man texting me at 1:30 am does not want me

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

7 years

i wanna be goth but i keep buying florals!!!!

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

4 years

sunday afternoon. the perfect time to change from my pajamas into a fresh set of pajamas not yet tainted by depression

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

3 years

theyve been calling me little girl at work “as a joke” so “as a joke” im looking for a new job

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

5 years

sexuality is SO confusing ive lived 22 years before hearing a hayley kiyoko or king princess song and suddenly its like oh my god am i gay or just sexually empowered

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captain cornbread

@xxcornbread

8 years

Ive been a cow every Halloween for the past five years. Don't ever let anyone tell you that you can't follow your dreams!

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