Alexis Turner @surliertexan Twitter profile | Pikagi

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Alexis Turner

@surliertexan

5,054

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1,772

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Taking the scenic route through life. Formerly: PhD in the history of science @Harvard . Currently: Foraging in the woods and reading tarot in your dms 🏳️‍⚧️

An ambulance down by the river

https://t.co/yTLaxYjt6N

Joined July 2017

Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.

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@surliertexan

Alexis Turner

4 years

I've read about LSD being given to just about any animal you can think of: snails, fish, dogs, cats, elephants, spiders, guinea pigs. I didn't think I could be surprised any more, but today I came across the delightful experiments of Heinz Lehmann, who gave LSD to dandelions.

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@surliertexan

Alexis Turner

3 years

I would like to reassure faculty members at Harvard who aren’t sure how to avoid sexually harassing their students that it’s actually extremely easy.

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@surliertexan

Alexis Turner

5 months

I love how you can tell exactly which micro-clique each of these adults belonged to by their dance. I see you coke work-out princess, light new wave Talking Heads punk, Theatre dad, and shuffling goth mom

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@surliertexan

Alexis Turner

10 months

I swear the discourse to me today as an older queer is just like being gaslit by the present all the time.

@leather_butch

Teddy

10 months

My loves, we asked them to use partner. We, queers, asked them to use it so we could talk about our partners without immediately being outed.

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@surliertexan

Alexis Turner

11 months

Apparently detransitioning is back in the news, so please enjoy this pic of a trans person living their best life without considering going back for a second.

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@surliertexan

Alexis Turner

3 years

@oldenoughtosay And then when they finally do cancel your shifts all at once at the same time as the entire rest of the town, 1 million people are all trying to simultaneously leave in 24 hours, which is logistically impossible.

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@surliertexan

Alexis Turner

3 years

Seriously. Like…I will come to your office in private and explain it to you and no one ever has to know you asked. I know these things can be embarrassing. I am happy to be extremely discreet if you actually in good faith wish to know how to not harass your students.

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@surliertexan

Alexis Turner

1 month

Everyone and their dog keeps telling me to look into SSDI for my friends and I don’t know how to politely tell people that social services in the US are literally fucking impossible to actually get and largely exist in name only.

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@surliertexan

Alexis Turner

7 months

Apparently it only takes about 3-4 generations of living away from the land to become wildly out of touch re: things that will kill you.

@gunsnrosesgirl3

Science girl

@gunsnrosesgirl3

7 months

Crystal clear glacier water 📹John Derting

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@surliertexan

Alexis Turner

7 months

One time I was checking customers’ pockets at the drycleaners while they paid. I pulled a pair of panties out of the man’s pants. The woman saw and flipped out and started beating the shit out of him with her purse. THOSE AREN’T MINE, she was screaming. WHOSE PANTIES ARE THOSE?!

@pot8um

potatum🥔

7 months

FOLKS WITH EXPERIENCE IN THE SERVICE INDUSTRY: I wanna hear your personal horror stories with customers. The worst, the scariest, the moments that still haunt you at random times of the day, I want it all. Some folks think we’re exaggerating. Let’s show em how bad it can get.

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@surliertexan

Alexis Turner

5 months

Just submitted my dissertation. That’s it. That’s the tweet.

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@surliertexan

Alexis Turner

10 months

What educational hot take will have you like this? I think educating students almost solely with the skills needed to become either bureaucrats or techies is one of the most insidious forms of colonialism around, & white lefties seem almost entirely oblivious to this feature.

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@surliertexan

Alexis Turner

3 years

@PhilosophyMeToo It really isn’t. Like the person in question kissed students on the lips, routinely commented on their appearance, and showered students with gifts and attention unequally. There’s absolutely zero mystery here.

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@surliertexan

Alexis Turner

2 years

@enbeeeeeee @HippieGeekGirl @gfrancie @GrahamKritzer @RobFlor_ I believe the proper term is remooooval

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@surliertexan

Alexis Turner

5 months

Love how #2 STILL dresses like David fucken Byrne ☠️

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Alexis Turner

1 month

@dandelionmama I guess “I hope your ability to understand the details of this case are better than your ability to understand the details of an extremely unambiguous sentence, Your Honor” is out of the question?

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Alexis Turner

6 months

Absolutely wild to watch people trashing food delivery on its face, a service which was around for decades before predatory companies like DoorDash gutted the industry and took it over. Did none of you who grew up in cities really never have a pizza delivered to your house?

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Alexis Turner

4 years

I’ve been informed that I am not allowed to encourage this to randos on the internet. Only scientists with legal access to LSD and permission to do this should do this. Definitely no one else should give LSD to dandelions. Definitely not.

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@surliertexan

Alexis Turner

1 year

@badinfinity2 @Chican3ry I mean, if that’s all it took to get out from under her marmship, I would identify as a cactus in a heartbeat.

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Alexis Turner

10 months

Yes. We battled like hell to get people to say partner in the 90s so that we could talk about our own relationships without having to mention gender. It was for our own safety because straight people like to ask about private relationships all. the. time.

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Alexis Turner

5 months

tbf the shuffling goth dance and the shuffling hippie dance are a rare point of stylistic overlap between otherwise distinct groups

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@surliertexan

Alexis Turner

4 years

What if you gave dandelions LSD in a single dose and then moved them to distilled water after they drank? What if you didn’t cut them but poured the LSD water on them in the ground? Can you mist it on them? I’m not encouraging anyone to do this and report back, but yes I am.

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@surliertexan

Alexis Turner

4 years

Spoiler: LSD appears to make dandelions high.

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@surliertexan

Alexis Turner

1 month

I’m going to lose my shit if one more person tells me to look into this. I’ve looked into it fifty fucking times and I do not have 40 hours a week to follow up with bureaucrats until I die, I need to make money, not get trapped into a complete time suck that produces nothing

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Alexis Turner

3 years

Hi, I’m a Republican. I believe in small government staying out of people’s lives and the separation of church and state. That’s why I would like to report that today I signed eighteen new bills legislating how people should act in the privacy of their own homes.

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Alexis Turner

9 months

And for people like “oh noes, we should’ve kept it to ourselves to telegraph safe spaces.” Absolutely not. AIDS gave the queer community no choice but extreme publicity, which meant all those old secret codes became widely known. At that point safety means mainstreaming them.

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@surliertexan

Alexis Turner

4 months

Who just defended their dissertation and is officially a doctor now? THIS guy

@Swilua

🌈Dr. Vin Frizzle

4 months

That is DOCTOR SurlierTexan

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Alexis Turner

7 months

First year grad students: oral histories are a uniquely perfect way to get unvarnished stories straight from the horse’s mouth without all the problematic horrors of archives People on twitter: I remember way back when we had the lockdown. It was like 4, 5 years long. at least.

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@surliertexan

Alexis Turner

6 years

@stressbianism No, that’s preposterous.

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Alexis Turner

4 years

Apparently some “allies” are telling POC not to come to Harvard because it’s racist and I’m really wondering what non-racist wonderland they’re telling them to go to instead as they tell them to pass up this privilege that they themselves are taking advantage of.

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Alexis Turner

4 years

Dandelions open and close in response to the sun (“dandelion clocks”). So they put them in drug-laced water and measured how much they opened. They closed sooner than normal with LSD. dextroamphetamine (aka dexedrine) made them stay awake longer.

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Alexis Turner

2 years

One of the “perks” of being at Harvard is that sometimes you have to interact with famous academics that everyone fanboys over and you discover that they’re often self-important blowhards who treat others like shit, but you can’t really say that out loud without getting skewered

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@surliertexan

Alexis Turner

9 months

@Swilua Meta level

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@surliertexan

Alexis Turner

5 months

I have watched all of these like 10 times and I hope I am this transparently still my 20 year old self in another 10 years

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@surliertexan

Alexis Turner

1 year

People aren’t paying enough attention to the ~combination~ of bills Florida is pushing through, e.g. dropping the unanimous jury requirement for the death penalty, extending the death penalty to child sexual battery, and criminalizing gender non-conformity in front of children

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Alexis Turner

9 months

If you still want secret in group codes you have to make new ones. That is how history works. Words change their meaning and power as they travel into new contexts, and you cannot prevent them from traveling.

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Alexis Turner

8 months

@girlziplocked I once gave a ted-talk like presentation to funders trying to get a project off the ground. The pres was great but I flopped horrendously in the mingle session afterwards when I couldn’t play nice with a woman panicked because her family might lose one of 5 vacation homes

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Alexis Turner

4 years

For any curiosity seekers: H. E. Lehmann, et al. "The Effects of Psychotropic Drugs on Biological Systems of Low Complexity," in Research Approaches to Psychiatric Problems: A Symposium, edited by Tourlentes, Pollack, and Himwich (New York: Grune and Stratton, 1962): 44-73.

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Alexis Turner

3 years

I feel like the world needs to know that Cambridge has roving gangs of wild turkeys and sometimes they chase terrified Harvard students. I need y’all to have this mental image.

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@surliertexan

Alexis Turner

3 months

@ADHDForReal Imagine following an adhd account and then getting mad when the account doesn’t stick to the subject

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@surliertexan

Alexis Turner

4 years

@bayesianboy I....what? It's a longstanding known problem that letters of rec for women consistently do not emphasize their minds and instead emphasize how nice, collegial, and kind they are and letters for men focus on how brilliant they are. Where the hell are you getting this rant from??

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Alexis Turner

5 months

When I was 15 my mom was telling me about how her roommate used to bring random guys home & one day she brought home a cute actor named Bobby passing through town with a theatre company. A few years later my mom saw his name on a movie screen in Alaska. The movie was Mean Streets

@quantick

David Quantick

5 months

My dad once flew on Concorde. "The flight was delayed so that fellow you like played some songs on his guitar. Paul someone. It was awful." Yes my dad attended an impromptu live acoustic session by Paul McCartney in an airport lounge. And he hated it.

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Alexis Turner

6 years

When you travel to an archive and the government shuts down so it’s closed, and you just figure out some different fucking archive because you paid to be here, and someone asks you about the important methodological choices that go into choosing archives and you just look at them

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Alexis Turner

2 years

@heyyitsjanea @bp112183 @MichaelDDavisJr @Antidote_aryy Guess these dudes expect you to spend an hour you don’t have on the crappy ass Houston Metro and then carry 10 bags of groceries back by hand.

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Alexis Turner

3 years

Cleaning with ADD is like: wash dishes, oh the stove, oh shit the dishes, I should clear the counter by bottling bitters…3 hours later…wait the dishes, but wait sweeping

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Alexis Turner

11 months

@Swilua Ba dum pshhh That’s it, that’s the joke

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Alexis Turner

3 years

PSA on pronoun sharing: You should never REQUIRE your students or colleagues to share pronouns. Not everyone is out. If you require this you may be putting your students in danger, or simply in an uncomfortable position.

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Alexis Turner

3 years

@TheSavagePants It is about the science of acting like a decent human being!

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Alexis Turner

1 month

I’m sorry, have I been ranting at the world for the last week? MAYBE THIS IS WHY, PLEASE STOP EXPECTING ME TO WASTE TIME I DO NOT HAVE ON USELESS THINGS

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Alexis Turner

8 months

HR departments, I am fucking BEGGING YOU not to put “desired salary” as a required form entry when you REFUSE to even hint at the salary range in any public materials. Absolutely scummy af and starts out our potential working relationship very much on the wrong foot.

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Alexis Turner

6 months

It’s March 31, which means it’s time for my annual #TransDayOfVisibility post

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Alexis Turner

1 year

@APSAtweets Cannot believe you’re putting the blame for this on the backs of minority and early stage scholars.

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Alexis Turner

4 months

Today is the day of my birth! It is also 5 years since I decided to transition! It is my birthday! It is my tranniversary! It is Pride! I’m going to be painting Baltimore purple for the day, but if anyone wants to make this an awesome birthday/Pride/tranniversary week (cont)

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Alexis Turner

3 years

Background reading, since my mentions are a mess now.

@surliertexan

Alexis Turner

3 years

@WildPasts_ Faculty wrote this letter () in response to this person () being found guilty of sexual harassment.

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Alexis Turner

2 years

If your website tells me that natural, plant derived sweeteners are healthier than sugar, you have immediately lost all credibility, sorry.

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@surliertexan

Alexis Turner

3 years

A bunch of ex Mormons accidentally followed me cuz they thought I was studying the history of LDS and now I know things like what a GA is and which ones are betraying assholes and I feel like honestly? everyone could use a little more LSD in their lives and a little less LDS.

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Alexis Turner

1 year

@oldenoughtosay Spoken like someone who’s never sneezed while wearing a tampon.

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Alexis Turner

4 months

Oh my god, if you look at the likes you can see that the porn bot army gets deployed in alphabetical order

@FDRLST

The Federalist

4 months

There’s Nothing Loving About Dolly Parton’s False Gospel

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Alexis Turner

2 months

@chowell2000 @gregbeacham @gimmiesometruth @BrianHolidae @BostonGlobe @BGlobeSports Punching down at solitary authors with no power instead of the editorial team hiding behind a corporate gate sure feels good doesn’t it

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Alexis Turner

7 months

Anyway, that is not the scariest experience (that would be a man trying to rip the door off the hinges and threatening to kill us because we had closed for the night), but it is the one I think about the most.

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Alexis Turner

4 years

It looks like they kept the dandelions in the drug water for the entire several days it took to do the experiment. Twitter, I have questions.

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Alexis Turner

6 months

Interviewer: ok, but you’re at Harvard, surely you want a high-powered, research position publishing in top journals Me, looking at my twitter mutuals posting about the history of pirates, toilets, witchcraft, and dirt: I think you misunderstand my reason for being in academia

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Alexis Turner

4 years

Here is the original article

@surliertexan

Alexis Turner

4 years

DANDELIONS ON ACID:

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Alexis Turner

7 months

Him, grazing on a yew leaf salad: nothing quite like a meal picked straight from it’s natural habitat, amirite

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Alexis Turner

2 years

Explosion at Northeastern. MIT is telling students to avoid unknown packages and Harvard is just telling everyone about a vague “incident.” We really live in a fucking shit ass timeline.

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Alexis Turner

3 years

Feeling the need to cleanse the timeline with the smol bat

@OregonRolledA20

Oregon Rolled A 20

@OregonRolledA20

3 years

ˢᵐᵒˡ ᵇᵃᵗ

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Alexis Turner

7 months

Oh heyyyyyy just brought back memories of the time a very bougie looking tween girl came to us at the concession stand of the dollar movie theatre to inform us she’d “made a small mess in the bathroom” and we went to look and she had pooped over every square inch of the stall.

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Alexis Turner

2 months

And with that, my inaugural trip to Mormonville is now complete. please enjoy this gratuitous photo of me with Sphinx Joseph Smith, because of course this exists

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Alexis Turner

2 years

Reminded today of Go Ask Alice, a hoax memoir about a teenage acidhead that was actually written by a wayward Mormon housewife. Pleased to say this research project continues to be the gift that just keeps giving.

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Alexis Turner

4 months

The dating disconnect actually explained: Straight people have atrocious communication skills, struggle to grasp that people have different interests and desires that are valid, actively disrespect those differences, and legitimately seem to hate the opposite sex.

@JohnLeFevre

John LeFevre

4 months

The dating disconnect, explained: The percentage of men who are 25-45, over 6’ tall, make > $100,000, and can run a sub 8 minute mile. ~ 0.01% Percentage of women over 150 pounds with a sub 600 credit score who expect to find a man who is 25-45, over 6’ tall, makes >

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Alexis Turner

5 years

@iproposethis @bonitasmith @MehrsaBaradaran @Big_Unit35 I teach a lot of first gen kids at Harvard. It’s hard for them and they have to deal with things other students don’t, but they work their asses off and the improvement you see just from the start to the end of a semester is astronomical.

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Alexis Turner

6 months

Once taught a history of science class where we looked at the history of anesthesia and how it created the practice of modern surgery. I know you’ll be really shocked to hear this, but before the era of painkillers, people didn’t go to doctors very much…

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Alexis Turner

5 months

This person has clearly never read a scholarly article

@SomeTweeter420

Yo Gabapentin

@SomeTweeter420

5 months

Beefs don’t work in any other genre. Can you imagine 21 pilots and imagine dragons writing diss tracks about each other

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Alexis Turner

5 months

She turned red from head to toe and immediately changed the subject BECAUSE THE ANSWER WAS YES

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Alexis Turner

7 months

Twitter: Beyoncé’s accent is FAKE, she’s sTeAlINg OuR CuLTurE Me, a Texan who literally went to the same middle school as Beyoncé & has never been accused of stealing country music despite it being an amalgamation of Indigenous, Black, Mexican, Spanish, Cajun, & Irish music: 🫠

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Alexis Turner

3 years

@ElRonbo Oh maybe that’s what’s confusing: they don’t actually pay us

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Alexis Turner

3 years

This is the two year anniversary of deciding to transition and it is also my birthday so plz have a good dinner for me!

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Alexis Turner

3 years

Happy #pride #Pride2021 Post a pic of yourself and your pride flag(s)!

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Alexis Turner

1 month

@atomicpopWI @Komaniecki_R @gertieok Paprika is hot now? lolllllllll

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Alexis Turner

28 days

I need to rant for just a minute about how utterly fucked it is when people underestimate the amount of knowledge/skill / work that goes into “basic” tasks. It isn’t merely classist, tacky, insulting, or poor form. It’s actively dangerous. You are putting people in danger.

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Alexis Turner

6 months

Americans’ Puritanical instinct to call anything “luxurious” that is not immediately necessary to the barest, most abjectly miserable ekeing out of an existence is the at the affective core of why we continue to have zero social safety net or social goods.

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Alexis Turner

7 months

That’s the same job where we had to escort an extremely inebriated homeless man out of the theater for repeatedly screaming I WANT TO LICK MICHELLE PFEIFFER’S WET PU$$Y at the screen for a good 5 minutes before someone finally came to ask us to kick him out lmao

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Alexis Turner

2 months

I just dropped my drink on the ground and yelled a very drawn out, slow motion SSSHHHHIIIIIITTTTTTTT in front of about 2 dozen Mormons

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Alexis Turner

4 months

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how we respond to perceived weakness — disability, most obviously, but also things ranging from financial struggles to victimhood to even the littlest thing like an acknowledgement that’s someone doesn’t know something. 🧵

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Alexis Turner

2 years

Please enjoy this blast from the past. #TransDayOfVisibility

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Alexis Turner

6 months

Can twitter amp me up for the next two days? I have to finish the last 20-30pp of my full dissertation draft by the end of Thursday and I could use a little cheering squad.

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Alexis Turner

3 years

I haven’t said anything about @krisis86 passing because I didn’t know them well and it doesn’t seem my place, as someone whose interaction with the Mormon queer community is accidental and as an outsider. But I wish more people outside that circle understood …

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Alexis Turner

7 months

My research moment has arrived

@thehill

The Hill

7 months

U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) grants breakthrough therapy status to LSD formula to treat generalized anxiety disorder after initial study shows that a single dose of the drug could provide lasting relief

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Alexis Turner

3 years

Every year some white 20-something year old kid dies eating rice that’s been sitting on his counter for 11 days, and I think a lot about a culture that would raise boys to be so incompetently helpless that they can’t even feed themselves.

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Alexis Turner

3 years

My feed is now 50/50 LDS/academics and I could tell you which one is more batshit but I need to stay in this profession long enough to get my degree.

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Alexis Turner

6 months

@jewstein3000 @valleyctrca I prefer women of color myself. They tend to actually listen to the patient and are less likely to be sanctimoniously convinced the patient is an idiot or a liar, which means they have done the necessary steps required to administer care.

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Alexis Turner

4 months

@Swilua All hat, no cattle

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Alexis Turner

6 months

Since everyone is on a tear about convenient and affordable food options, I’m just gonna take this opportunity to say it’s time to bring back real street food vendors that aren’t just overpriced hipster caviar on artisanal avocado toast.

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Alexis Turner

2 years

@blkgirllostkeys My father disowned me and I was homeless for a year and had to pay for my entire education myself because he said me not doing the dishes enough was disrespectful. I had to find a different modality later that sees cleaning as a form of ritual magic for self care & mental health

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Alexis Turner

7 months

Anyone who comes on here to tell me why this is actually a good idea and who thereby encourages people to do this is getting blocked.

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Alexis Turner

2 years

Hey there! LSD researcher here. A big reason you don’t read about autistic kids in school back in the 50s and 60s is not because they didn’t exist. It’s that they were often institutionalized and doctors like Lauretta Bender shot them full of drugs like LSD to try and cure them.

@dhothersall

Duncan Hothersall

2 years

I just read a thread of older people saying when they were at school nobody transitioned gender, and nobody was diagnosed as autistic. Both have of course become much more prevalent today. What was fascinating was that not one of them mentioned that nobody came out as gay either.

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Alexis Turner

2 years

I just picked up a home covid test before meeting my cousin for the day and the cashier had the nerve to look freaked out. Really? I hate to break it to you, ma’am, but I am not the one without a mask in this situation.

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Alexis Turner

7 months

Anyway, service work is absolutely wild and I do not particularly miss it even though the stories are amazing.

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@surliertexan

Alexis Turner

8 months

@KaylaAncrum The Secret of NIMH was a critique of government science, which was a huge topic in the 70s after everything came out about the CIA experimenting on citizens. The rats were escapees from the labs of the National Institute of Mental Health, which is a real institution!

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@surliertexan

Alexis Turner

6 months

I look like this and accidentally went to eat in a diner where they have an 830 am Pledge of Allegiance ama

Tweet media one

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@surliertexan

Alexis Turner

4 years

@abcdleee @basedfob_ @no_lying_online @imjustjuice Preference.

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