smalls @smallpersonn Twitter profile

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@smallpersonn

2 years

A woman has just been attacked outside our pub. I fought the attacker off her and am now dealing with police. Poor woman is really shook up. She was calling for help and no one intervened until I got there

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@smallpersonn

4 years

@ieattothebeat @lambeth_council No we don’t. Can easily go for a walk if we need exercise.

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@smallpersonn

2 years

GUESS WHAT? After 3 years (the last year with no bottom ones) and over 60 appointments… I FINALLY HAVE TEETH!!!

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@smallpersonn

3 years

I just had a phone call out of the blue. I’VE BEEN OFFERED A JOB AND I START ON MONDAY 🎉🎉🎉🎉 @Kellbound

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@smallpersonn

4 years

@ieattothebeat @lambeth_council I live in Lambeth and most of the streets are practically empty when I have been for a walk. I also cut through 3 smaller green spaces where I saw about 4 other people. These people in Brookwell Park aren’t exercising, they’re socialising.

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@smallpersonn

4 years

I HAVE A JOB!! As a part time labourer... 😃😃😃 *practises banter*

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@smallpersonn

4 years

Guess what?! 😃😃😃 I got a job! Only a two month contract but it’s something 😁

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@smallpersonn

2 years

I got the job! Start properly tomorrow 😁

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@smallpersonn

2 years

@Little_G2 I’m shaking a bit now. Wasn’t scared at the time when I was fighting the guy off her. He then tried to stare me down and implied that he had a knife 😳 I just stood there and told him that I wasn’t scared and told him to fuck off 😬

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@smallpersonn

6 years

Meet Poppy #shopdog

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@smallpersonn

5 years

@rhodri @Jo8cheese2 Sorry the first one’s a bit blurred but I got over excited 😬

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@smallpersonn

1 year

Just signed my tenancy agreement. It’s official! 😃😃

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@smallpersonn

3 years

@valmetcalf @KateWilton1 Ridiculous. Female fans are not excluded, there are also female officials, pundits and commentators and the women’s teams have their own tournament.

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@smallpersonn

2 years

Had a very bad day today. I found my flatmate dead at 2pm today. Just finished with the police and the undertaker. I would like to thank @_popsabout @Bullfrwog and @Sunny64339473 for coming to my rescue and supporting me through everything. They really went above and beyond.

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@smallpersonn

3 years

I JUST GOT TO HOLD A GOLDEN EAGLE!!! 😃

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@smallpersonn

3 years

Can’t understand why my dentist was laughing. 🤔 Adjustments need to be made 😬

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@smallpersonn

5 years

I JUST MET A GIANT AT WORK 😮😮😮😮

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@smallpersonn

7 years

Just put the wrong stock number in on our system and it came up as a 'Flying Bastard' on the till. have no idea what this is but I want one.

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@smallpersonn

2 years

First time out of the flat for a week. I’m in my local and the staff are looking after me 👍

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@smallpersonn

2 years

Hand update 😬

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@smallpersonn

2 years

smalls

@smallpersonn

2 years

A woman has just been attacked outside our pub. I fought the attacker off her and am now dealing with police. Poor woman is really shook up. She was calling for help and no one intervened until I got there

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@smallpersonn

4 years

I have finished my jigsaw!!! 😃

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@smallpersonn

4 months

Quick beer on the way home from work. 8 weeks alcohol free today 😮

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@smallpersonn

4 years

I’VE PASSED THE EXAM!!!

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@smallpersonn

4 years

I HAVE FINISHED THE COURSE!! 😃 I now have to do the exam 😳😬

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@smallpersonn

1 year

Just had a phone call with the housing department. She said that I very likely got the tenancy 🤞🤞

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@smallpersonn

3 years

Thanks to the cab driver who just took me home, I have just discovered that the video for Come On Eileen was filmed outside my house 😳🤯🤯

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@smallpersonn

3 years

@KeithSWest @farenet @premierleague @beINSPORTS_EN It’s really quite simple…

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@smallpersonn

5 years

Just told P**rs *organ that he couldn’t have a refund 😬

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@smallpersonn

4 years

I’m at Borough Market. Does anyone want anything?

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@smallpersonn

1 year

I might have had good news about my housing situation. Just a couple of forms to fill out 🤞🤞

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@smallpersonn

2 years

@PaulHeatonSolo Happy Birthday Sir! Thank you for the drink in the Old Coffee house in Soho 😁🧡 Cc @jamabing

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@smallpersonn

5 years

Duncan Goodhew has just offered to give me swimming lessons 😃

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@smallpersonn

2 years

@parramaterial They thought it was a domestic and didn’t want to get involved. I initially thought it might be a domestic but I went in and told him to let her go. I don’t give a shit, if someone is shouting “let me go” I will help them whatever the circumstances

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@smallpersonn

5 years

@Hedgewitch66 @StryderBourke @nharmertaylor 😂😂😂 yeah, but now we have a name for a tribute band 🤔

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@smallpersonn

7 months

Just threw this guy out for hassling customers. He tried to intimidate me so I might have kicked him in the balls 😬

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@smallpersonn

4 years

I have been studying since 10am and I have just passed my stage 2 exam!!!

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@smallpersonn

5 years

I have a new t shirt 😃

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@smallpersonn

1 year

Last night at work I met and chatted to the owner of the pub, this morning I get informed that I have been given a pay rise 🤔😁 #ToldYouIWasCharming

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@smallpersonn

10 months

Group of American students came in. They all asked for Smalls. Apparently I’m now a legend in the Notre Dam university in Indiana 🤣🤣

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@smallpersonn

4 years

Tube selfie 😁 I’ve just been called ’sir’ and someone else has asked me if there’s a protest today... 😳🤷‍♂️

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@smallpersonn

2 years

👀 people are doing tequila rose shots on the tube 🤣

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@smallpersonn

10 months

@RachelWardbooks @njalskinner bought a second hand fire engine whilst drunk…

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@smallpersonn

2 months

Someone just ordered a pint of lager with a coke top 😳

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@smallpersonn

2 years

@MetroUK Heinz is pretty expensive. Should have gone for Aldi own brand if they want to pretend to be poor… 🤔

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@smallpersonn

10 months

Just remembered that I found a Santa suit last night after we closed 😬🤦

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@smallpersonn

4 years

My manager has just called me. They’re closing our branch and making us all redundant 😔

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@smallpersonn

2 years

Love Waterloo chess club. 2am and they’re still playing 😁

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@smallpersonn

4 years

Taking a break. See you all in a few days x

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@smallpersonn

9 months

Ho, fooking Ho.

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@smallpersonn

4 years

I have to say that without the support of you guys in my phone, this year, I probably wouldn’t be around to type this. I tried to recreate the traditional London NYE fireworks to thank you all but unfortunately couldn’t find any fireworks. So, here you go... HAPPY NEW YEAR!! ❤️❤️

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@smallpersonn

1 year

Hi guys! My manager has promised me £100 if I get 300 of you to follow the pub’s new account (that I’ve set up)

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@smallpersonn

3 years

Ooh! Just checked my email and I might have a new job! 🎉🎉🎉

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@smallpersonn

3 years

@perrigame has not peed herself!!

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@smallpersonn

3 years

Everyone in the pub has just sang Happy Birthday to me and the barstaff have given me vodka shots on the house 😃

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@smallpersonn

5 years

@Hedgewitch66 @StryderBourke @nharmertaylor Each and the bunnymen? 😂

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@smallpersonn

2 years

@SteveSwift3 Can’t believe that we had over 20 people sitting outside and not one of them did anything when she begged them to call the police 🤬

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@smallpersonn

2 years

@shitlondonguinn We are trying to find the guilty party!

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@smallpersonn

4 years

20 years ago today was one of the worst days of my life. There have been ups and downs since then but somehow I’m still here.

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@smallpersonn

11 months

I’ve done a subtle Halloween costume but I’m so accident prone people keep asking “WTF have you done to yourself now?” 🤦😬

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@smallpersonn

2 months

EMBARRASSED PUB DOG!

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@smallpersonn

5 years

I currently have a customer who is "shopping for some new lights" I asked her what about staying in to stop the spread and she said "oh, I'm not going to catch anything and it's not my fault if anyone else does" 😳 I'm currently being extremely unhelpful...

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@smallpersonn

4 years

Off to the interview 😬

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@smallpersonn

4 years

My friend is getting grief for helping me. I did not want to travel but I was left with very little choice. I kept way more than 2 meters away from everyone else and wore a mask for the majority of the journey. We are now isolating to keep safe.

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@smallpersonn

10 months

My manager has just gone to the pub where I’ve booked for my Christmas lunch and paid for it 😮🥰

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@smallpersonn

4 years

@Shehapanda @lnnerPrincess @arcsenpai Is that the house from Parasite?

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@smallpersonn

2 years

Heading home after a lovely afternoon with @bfafleck and @LuLoopie 🤗

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@smallpersonn

4 years

Haircut achieved!! Before and after. Bonus picture of @PeevedFerret chatting to his neighbour over the fence 😁

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@smallpersonn

4 years

Just found my secret stash of chocolates that I hid from myself last November 😳😁

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@smallpersonn

3 years

Popped into a pub on my way home. Random woman: are you Smalls? Me: yes, do I know you from Twitter RW: No, I’m not on Twitter but we used to play rugby together for Saracens 30 years ago. Me: 🤯🤯🤯

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@smallpersonn

4 years

I HAVE A HAT !!!

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@smallpersonn

2 years

Teeth off with @Grant_Colgate 🤣

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@smallpersonn

3 years

Due to a combination of no pyjamas and forgetting that the blinds on my hotel room window were open, I have just accidentally flashed whoever is in the room opposite 😳🤦🤦

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@smallpersonn

5 months

Pub lunch is happening 😁

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@smallpersonn

3 years

Does anyone else remember when orange juice used to be served as a starter at restaurants?

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@smallpersonn

2 years

I just want to thank @_popsabout for looking after and out for me last weekend despite not being well and going through a shit time herself. A true friend x

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@smallpersonn

3 years

Have completed both my courses! 🎉🎉 I’m now a certified banksman 😁 *waves arms around to practice signalling*

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@smallpersonn

6 years

So today I went to see my dad. He introduced me to everyone as his brother and kept asking when our parents were going to come and see him. They’ve been dead for over 30 years. I’m now going to get drunk.

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@smallpersonn

4 years

Cheesecake time! 😃

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@smallpersonn

4 years

I’m happy and safe now. Night all x

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@smallpersonn

4 years

I’m lucky with my Twitter friends. I’m on my own and I haven’t seen anyone socially in person since October. Thank fook for you guys x

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@smallpersonn

2 years

PUB DOG!!!

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@smallpersonn

3 years

When I visited my dad in the care home before he died, I met a lovely lady called Babs. She had a similar sense of humour to me and a wicked glint in her eye. Just found out that she has died at the age of 94. I was hoping to see her again when I next visit my mum. RIP Babs 🖤

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@smallpersonn

4 years

The Shard looks pretty tonight 😁

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@smallpersonn

4 years

As I’m being made redundant on the 30th June does anyone have a goods in/out or facilities assistant/manger job for a hard worker who is open to relocating if necessary?

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@smallpersonn

3 years

Had a bit of an accident. I’m being sent to hospital. Suspected broken ankle 😬

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@smallpersonn

4 years

I’m ok, just hibernating 👍

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@smallpersonn

3 years

@ForwomenScot @HomoLittlest @EdinUniMedicine @EdinburghUni Why is it being linked to LGBT history month?

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@smallpersonn

1 year

Just popped into one of my regular pubs on my way to work. As I was chatting to one of the barstaff a drunk guy grabbed my tit, so I punched him in the head and loudly called him a pervert. The staff have thrown him out and told him not to come back

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@smallpersonn

5 years

A customer has just threatened to sue me because I refused to exchange some bulbs that were faulty that she bought 4 years ago...🙄

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@smallpersonn

5 years

Just realised that when I tweet that I haven’t drunk alcohol for a week, people might think I’m doing one of those “help, I’ve been kidnapped” tweets. 😳

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@smallpersonn

9 months

PUB DOG! This is Rags 🥰