simon day @simonday Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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simon day

@simonday

3 years

I would rather go to any market town in England stay in coaching inn/ travel lodge and eat sweets and crisps than Spend one day In Dubai

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simon day

@simonday

3 years

#sketch ‘The builder’ a short film in seven parts Part one

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simon day

@simonday

3 years

my all time favourite thing wot i wrote

TheFastShow

@TheFastShow1

3 years

Billy Bleach; Tiger Woods #TheFastShow

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simon day

@simonday

3 years

BBC COMEDY Monty python’s flying circus the office the fast show Steptoe and son only fools and horses porridge Fleabag Victoria wood Hancock Blackadder Dads army Fawlty towers Nighty night the royal family Harry Enfield little Britain WHAT YOU GOT SKY ?

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simon day

@simonday

6 years

Took us fucking hours baby We were hot and bothered But it is the best sketch we ever did

TheFastShow

@TheFastShow1

7 years

Ted and Ralf; drinking game #TheFastShow

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simon day

@simonday

2 years

the sitting aussie speaking for the world

Caring Atheist

@Caring_Atheist

2 years

An American Evangelical Christian is forcing people to listen to him on a subway in Sydney, Australia. Two Aussies can’t take it any longer and tells him to shut up. This is a great clip.....

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simon day

@simonday

3 years

Me after someone told me people will still vote Tory after recent events

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simon day

@simonday

2 years

I would rather be on a August Ryanair flight with broken air conditioning packed with welsh lady hairdressers on a hen weekend than spend a minute living your empty,banal,lonely cigar breath shaven pubic areas mock player lives

Andrew Tate

@Cobratate

2 years

Most men are not even living life Watch the full interview:

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simon day

@simonday

4 years

Just forwarding this on

John Clarke

@JohnClarke1960

4 years

Just putting it out there 👍

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simon day

@simonday

3 years

‘The builder’ ‘Bohemians’

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simon day

@simonday

3 years

One down one to go

When Football Was Better

@FootballInT80s

6 years

Brian Clough on Robert Maxwell and Rupert Murdoch in 1989

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simon day

@simonday

3 years

#sketch The builder’ a short film in 7 parts part 2 ‘Jason’

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simon day

@simonday

3 years

‘the builder’ a short film in 7 parts part 7 ‘ falling out of love with the game’

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simon day

@simonday

2 years

I wrote this

The Harry Enfield Show

@HarryEnfield6

2 years

The Football Manager

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simon day

@simonday

3 years

‘the builder’ a short film in 7 parts part 3 ‘Scandi-noir’

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simon day

@simonday

3 years

‘The builder’ ‘Victoria’s secret’

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simon day

@simonday

4 years

Boiling hot day that day

TheFastShow

@TheFastShow1

4 years

Competitive Dad; Cricket #HappyFathersDay #HappyFathersDay2020 #FathersDay #TheFastShow

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simon day

@simonday

3 years

#sketch ‘the builder’ a short film in 7 parts part 4 ‘Documentation’

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simon day

@simonday

5 years

Got burgled last and our dog COCO is missing, can’t believe it Anyone sees or knows anything be very grateful

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simon day

@simonday

3 years

⁦ @TheFastShow1 ⁩ #billybleach #fightthepower

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simon day

@simonday

3 years

never understand why people say this joke is ‘offensive’ today, just pointing out the fact that black people were not allowed on golf courses then

TheFastShow

@TheFastShow1

3 years

Billy Bleach; Tiger Woods #TheFastShow

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simon day

@simonday

3 years

Honoured

TheFastShow

@TheFastShow1

3 years

#TheFastShow Twitter account is officially 4 years old today 🎂 and this is how it all started:

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simon day

@simonday

3 years

‘the builder’ thanks for all your kind comments about my little sketches, cannot believe first film has had 400 k views ! going to be doing a film every day for a year (Unless it becomes too repetitive) TONY BECKTON next

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simon day

@simonday

2 years

What a pair of complete cunts the fucking balls on saltbae grabbing MESSI after the game

Simon Brodkin

@SimonBrodkin

2 years

“Today I feel like letting a bellend hold the World Cup if he gives me a free steak.”

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simon day

@simonday

2 years

beautiful

Scottish Banter

@scottishbants2

2 years

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simon day

@simonday

3 years

Barry cryer RIP always engaging always supportive Always available In the roots and branches of comedy the staple and the ink and the pages and the punchline Irreplaceable I

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simon day

@simonday

4 years

The bins are too small The people are too selfish There is too much packaging The people are too selfish The bins are overflowing Take YOUR MESS HOME the bins are too small Peoples brains are too small It’s disgusting TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN SHIT

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simon day

@simonday

5 years

#BILLYBLEACH #VEGANS #FRAYBENTOS

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simon day

@simonday

4 years

such an important character symbolising the death of REAL football partisan supporters being replaced by clowns who thought football was a fashion, the half and half scarves, Football as political currency Football as business first passion later + John hates football

TheFastShow

@TheFastShow1

4 years

Roger Nouveau, The world’s greatest football fan; the second half #TheFastShow

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simon day

@simonday

4 years

The king.

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simon day

@simonday

7 years

Can I just say that VIZ comic does not get the respect it deserves in shaping British TV comedy and comedy in general

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simon day

@simonday

2 years

am going with scousers for final because of football they play also because I like Klopp also because Real Madrid Franco ties also because Benzema is top shelf wrong-un also because I have done some great gigs in Liverpool plus echo teardrops and WAH HEAT ! and yosser

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simon day

@simonday

2 years

#terryhall ‘Ghost town’ has a permanent place in my psyche as i was in borstal when it was number one We all watched it together on TOTP although black and white prisoners were at each other’s throats mirroring the riots It was then I realised we were all pawns

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simon day

@simonday

6 years

happy birthday to one of our last links to music hall classic radio and tv comedy LEGEND is banded about too much but this gent is worthy of that moniker

🇬🇧📺 Classic British TV 📺🇬🇧

@Classicbritcom

6 years

Barry Cryer is 84 today, Happy Birthday Barry 🎂

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simon day

@simonday

2 years

60 on Tuesday been beset by mental illness and addiction since I spat out my first dummy depression long before addiction kicked in YOU ARE NOT ALONE ! luckily fell into comedy creativity is the key to the soul #MentalHealthAwarenessMonth

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simon day

@simonday

2 years

#Brian pern UPDATE #rogerwaters ⁦ @PollySamson ⁩ ⁦ @garyjkemp ⁩

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simon day

@simonday

3 years

Would the good people of Twitter be interested in a series of double act sketches Involving me and the excellent @mralistairgreen Bleakness and cunning social commentary aligned with poor camera and production work obviously

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simon day

@simonday

3 years

Just been to Waitrose Lot of old folk with zimmers masked up struggling 65 year old man, well healed, cocky, without mask strutting his stuff Cowboy boots under pale jeans I just don’t get it Does he think he’s a rebel ? does he think he’s won something ?

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simon day

@simonday

4 years

Was feeling a bit flat last night, family has dispersed to different locations and my dog gave me so much love it nearly broke my heart into Pieces of happy goodness if you are uncertain, scared or confused about life GET A DOG They will heal you

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simon day

@simonday

4 years

Filmed in Iceland, drove across the island listening to ‘OK Computer’ perfect blend of music and landscape

TheFastShow

@TheFastShow1

4 years

Billy Bleach #TheFastShow

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simon day

@simonday

6 years

2 cunts in a car

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simon day

@simonday

4 years

When life was simple

TheFastShow

@TheFastShow1

4 years

Jazz Club; featuring Jeremy Kwee, with his band, Kumquat #TheFastShow

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simon day

@simonday

2 years

met Planty this morning, the original golden boy of rock ! (not arf !) not seen him since he came and saw the @fastshowlive in Hereford, i sang #immigrantsong as competitive dad in his honour ! #wholelottalove

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simon day

@simonday

4 years

Underrated characters

TheFastShow

@TheFastShow1

4 years

Roy and Renee; everywhere we go, I always try to fly #TheFastShow

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simon day

@simonday

4 years

This was one of my favourite sketches,when you had money to do film parodies properly

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simon day

@simonday

5 years

#Billy Bleach #updates

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simon day

@simonday

3 years

#AfterLife3 please please @rickygervais do everything in your power to make Brian Gittins character the next BOND villain

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simon day

@simonday

3 years

‘TONY BECKTON’ short film in 7 parts part one ‘Wounding’

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simon day

@simonday

3 years

Exceptional

Dom Joly

@domjoly

3 years

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simon day

@simonday

4 years

I would like to see @RealBobMortimer and Whitehouse elected to House of Lords

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simon day

@simonday

6 years

spare a thought for the sober folk tonight sitting with fixed grins like losing bafta actors refusing more apple juice like cats on bonfire night edgy tired and hunted do you not drink at at all ? not even beer ? 'CHEERS ! gritted teeth longing not belonging freedom

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simon day

@simonday

5 years

PLEASE BROTHERS AND SISTERS DO NOT FIGHT AMONGST YOURSELVES that is what the government’s want

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simon day

@simonday

5 years

a show where addicts and people living beneath the breadline are given money to cry and screech at each other, in the name of 'light entertainment' encouraging other people to look down and laugh and feel 'above' said participants it is a vile parade and the host is a shitcunt

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simon day

@simonday

3 years

‘The builder’ “Can we fix it ? No we can’t !

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simon day

@simonday

4 years

I knew this would happen

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simon day

@simonday

8 years

Very sad to hear about Caroline She was special kind of Genuis and a beautiful person She helped put northern comedy back on top

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simon day

@simonday

4 years

Always be my hero

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simon day

@simonday

4 years

Sustained genius from ⁦ @Coldwar_Steve ⁩

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simon day

@simonday

3 years

No shortage of cunts in power

John Gordon Sinclair Blue Tick

@Jgs_x

3 years

Shortage of Lateral Flow tests Shortage of fruit & veg Shortage of nurses Shortage of doctors Shortage police officers Shortage of home appliances Shortage fruit pickers Shortage of drivers Shortage of leadership from @BorisJohnson Shortage of truth. 11yrs of Tory rule.

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simon day

@simonday

6 years

“ Playing for England is very much like making love to a beautiful women First you bring it out from the back and then push forward hoping one of the lads will finish it off” #harryswissmaquire

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simon day

@simonday

4 years

We are going to Cornwall this year And i am going to get up early every day and remove every daily mail from every letterbox for 2 weeks and burn them And give those people a breakfast without bile racism and bullshit #happy holidays

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simon day

@simonday

3 years

Geoffrey Allerton poem drop Ian Dury tribute to the master

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simon day

@simonday

5 years

I have taken a firm dislike to this person

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simon day

@simonday

2 years

Who remembers being offered massive speakers by white van men ?

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simon day

@simonday

4 years

Worst paper in the world

James Felton

@JimMFelton

4 years

Fucking amazing

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simon day

@simonday

2 years

Something about the yellow dress finger stays with you Even after all that’s happened there are more and more of these yobbish dim entitled breadheads waiting in the wings Trump style idiots No class No soul No future

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simon day

@simonday

4 years

People keep moaning about wearing masks But think of the Health benefits ! since the rule came into effect I have walked over 2 and half miles every day Returning to the car to get my mask

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simon day

@simonday

3 years

Was talking to mark yesterday

TheFastShow

@TheFastShow1

3 years

Two Painters on a Bridge #TheFastShow

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simon day

@simonday

2 years

HAPPY NEW YEAR !

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simon day

@simonday

4 years

Just Ignore Him by Alan Davies review – a life derailed by abuse | Books | The Guardian Massive respect ✊ to Alan for releasing this Came up with him, worked with many times and this stuff is HARD to deal with Love 💔 is the message to you

Just Ignore Him by Alan Davies review – a life derailed by abuse

In his fiercely honest memoir, the actor and comedian confronts the painful bereavement and abuse he endured as a child

www.theguardian.com

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simon day

@simonday

3 years

‘the builder’ ‘chimney sweep’

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simon day

@simonday

5 years

“What that Rotter? he turned up at my cousins funeral wearing white jeans” One of my favourite lines

TheFastShow

@TheFastShow1

5 years

It’s a right royal cockney barrel of monkeys #TheFastShow

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simon day

@simonday

6 years

She was a hurricane

TheFastShow

@TheFastShow1

6 years

Today is the 2nd anniversary of the untimely death of Caroline Aherne, at the age of just 52. A truly great comedy talent, as demonstrated here in one of my all time favourite Roy and Renee sketches #TheFastShow

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simon day

@simonday

3 years

‘the builder’ ‘ Dr Doolittle’

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simon day

@simonday

3 years

‘the builder’ a short film in 7 parts part 6 ‘the ombudsman’

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simon day

@simonday

4 years

Billy Bleach #SocialDistancing

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simon day

@simonday

2 years

#football

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simon day

@simonday

3 years

Now have certified blue tick still feel empty Oh hang on I see a biscuit 🍪

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simon day

@simonday

4 years

Unbeatable

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simon day

@simonday

3 years

Go on my son ! inspirational !

John Thomson

@JohnnyThomson2

3 years

Well who’d have thought! I’d have made it ! 15 years sober 🎉🎉🎉 Still stand by the fact , it has been the greatest life changing decision I’ve ever made . Happier healthier and wiser . Genuinely proud of this achievement, so couldn’t let it go unsaid. 😁💪🏼 #sober #recovery

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simon day

@simonday

3 years

‘the builder’ ‘Tiger balm’

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@simonday

4 years

Again money on screen

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@simonday

2 years

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simon day

@simonday

3 years

#furywilder #daveangel ⁦ @Tyson_Fury ⁩ a short message to my old pal

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simon day

@simonday

4 years

Geoffrey Allerton #poem At the pictures

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simon day

@simonday

2 years

Based on a real transaction, a guy from east Greenwich see book for whole story

TheFastShow

@TheFastShow1

2 years

#TheFastShow Twitter account is 5 years old today 🎂 And this is how it all started:

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simon day

@simonday

4 years

Why Why Why

Will Gavin

@WillGav

4 years

McDonalds Drive-Thru opened in Sutton today, here's the queue...

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simon day

@simonday

5 years

Prick

BBC Archive

@BBCArchive

5 years

#OnthisDay1964 : Nicolas Cage was born. In 1990, he somersaulted onto Wogan to bare his soul (and his chest).

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simon day

@simonday

2 years

DAVE ANGEL superglue

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simon day

@simonday

4 years

I always attempted to use that sketch to show how tiger woods had broken through a very racist sport I have always had people miss understanding my stuff I did ice pick in 1994 who was a white rapper who’s dad was a wine merchant I had dreads but so did the Notting hill posse

TheFastShow

@TheFastShow1

4 years

Recent events and an unpleasant DM exchange (see screen shots) with a racist prompted this. I should’ve blocked him sooner but I felt compelled to put him straight first. Anyway, I just wanted to say this, please take it in the spirit in which it’s intended 👇🏻

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simon day

@simonday

2 years

I don’t care what people think of me as long as they don’t think I am the kind of person who would entertain Pete tongs house classics with an orchestra

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simon day

@simonday

3 years

Where Dave Angel began

Matt Lucas HQ

@RealMattLucas

3 years

good morning

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simon day

@simonday

4 years

Bernard Bresslaw

Mark Kermode

@KermodeMovie

4 years

Seriously, name me one other person who could rock this outfit and still look ... breathtaking!

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simon day

@simonday

5 years

evil is often banal and often leaks from a place of ignorance and complete lack of empathy This one is dangerous

Ash Sarkar

@AyoCaesar

5 years

Idk why BBC North West deleted this video where Priti Patel insists you can’t blame the government for growing poverty because it’s actually the fault of local councils (whose funding the government cut). Perhaps we should make sure people see it.

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simon day

@simonday

4 years

Probably the most fun

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simon day

@simonday

2 years

Downhill all the way for Olivia since this

TheFastShow

@TheFastShow1

2 years

Swiss Toni outtake, featuring Olivia Colman

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simon day

@simonday

4 years

Congratulations to Liverpool football Klopp has built a brilliant entertaining pulsating team full of vim and Vigour and they will only get better Any city that will not buy the sun gets my vote Strawberry fields forever

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simon day

@simonday

3 years

I truly believe the world would be a better place if we all ate a full English every morning this would lead to heart disease striking people earlier and controlling population explosion

TheFastShow

@TheFastShow1

3 years

Dave Angel, Eco Warrior; Breakfast at the delegates hotel #COP26 #COP26Glasgow #TheFastShow

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simon day

@simonday

2 years

‘the builder’ the three bernie’s

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simon day

@simonday

4 years

Still waiting for the big Premier league STARS to PULL IT UP and donate some money to the STAFF of their respective clubs a lot of them earn in a week double or treble what most people in a year WHY THE SILENCE ? PULL IT UP DIVVY UP SPREAD THE MARGE ON FOOTBALLS BREAD

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