Ivar The Boneless @roomthinker Twitter profile | Pikagi

Pikagi

Ivar The Boneless

@roomthinker

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Son of my father Badass Entrepreneur Cerebral Assassin Cofounder, Mzalendo Admiral, #SalmaSquadron Emperor of Sarcastica

Nairobi

https://t.co/AG1cugEFIc

Joined February 2008

Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.

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@roomthinker

Ivar The Boneless

2 years

There’s a small girl in the hood who comes down to watch me gear up 🏍️ in the mornings and asks me the all sorts of questions from entry level “why don’t planes fall out of the sky / why do ships not sink” to profound “what size of shoes does God wear / how tall is he”

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@bokeplokalmalam

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@elixir_ph

@roomthinker

Ivar The Boneless

2 years

“Thank you Sergeant Okwiri — I mean noble maize vendor I’ve never met before”

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@roomthinker

Ivar The Boneless

10 months

Friends, I am hopelessly lost in Sarit Centre. Goodbye forever. My M-PESA and ATMs PIN is 6361 Please clear browser history

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@roomthinker

Ivar The Boneless

3 years

My question is about that tap on the wall …

@jimal_ibrahim

Jimal RohoSafi

3 years

Planning to convert the matatu industry to fully electric vehicles to lower the cost of fuel…soon fare will drop.

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@roomthinker

Ivar The Boneless

4 years

Kenyan: "So there is this thing that I want to do …" Kenya:

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@roomthinker

Ivar The Boneless

9 months

Marsabit

@gunsnrosesgirl3

Science girl

@gunsnrosesgirl3

9 months

What name would you choose?

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@roomthinker

Ivar The Boneless

3 months

This is a good time to remind you that the director of the meteorological department was very rudely put on the spot and made to apologize for saying that El Niño was coming while Ali Porah and the 50 Thieves were insisting it would just rain a lot.

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@roomthinker

Ivar The Boneless

6 years

2019 Read at least 2 books every month - take care of your mind Exercise for at least 45 minutes - take care of your body Interact more with people you don’t agree with - escape your echo chamber Keep track of how and where you spend money - it’s very easy to get into debt

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@roomthinker

Ivar The Boneless

2 years

Every time I see Ababu I always remember that time he let a camera into his home and proudly showed us the open plan toilet in his master bedroom

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@roomthinker

Ivar The Boneless

8 months

Just a minute. You typed this press statement. Then printed it. In colour no less. Then placed it on a table and took a photo of it. And that is what you uploaded? Excellent.

@KNECKenya

The Kenya National Examinations Council (KNEC)

8 months

Press statement on 2023 KCPE examination results queries.

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@roomthinker

Ivar The Boneless

6 years

Well played, BBC. Well played!

@BBCAfrica

BBC News Africa

6 years

Kenya money coins replace leaders with animals

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@roomthinker

Ivar The Boneless

5 years

Where are the animals supposed to find this money?

@ntvkenya

NTV Kenya

5 years

Nairobi County is seeking to introduce a Bill which will see livestock, poultry brought in from upcountry charged for entry into the capital city. Poultry will be charged at 25 Shillings per bird, a dog or cat will cost you Ksh.1000 per animal. #NTVTonight

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Ivar The Boneless

3 months

I don’t know why I get the sense that “excuse me sir, may I please go to the toilet” is probably a thing during cabinet meetings

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@roomthinker

Ivar The Boneless

6 years

Storos that we have forgotten, as usual - Riparian land - Kenya Power bills - Kenya Power theft - NCPB theft - Kenya Pipeline theft - Government bought its own land - Nairobi has no deputy governor - governors with fake qualifications - NYS II - NYS I - Fake mobile clinics

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Ivar The Boneless

5 years

They should not be able to pay taxes either. Let’s be consistent.

@ntvkenya

NTV Kenya

5 years

Kenyans who do not register in the National Integrated Identity Management System, NIIMS, will not be able to acquire passports. This is according to Director of Immigration, Gordon Kihalangwa. #NTVatOne @NyabolaEdmond

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Ivar The Boneless

2 years

Assume a loaf of bread costs 30 to make, and is sold at 40 Due to a range of reasons not necessary to go into, government introduces a number of creative taxes, levies and charges on bread, taking its price up to 80. From this 80, government takes 40, leaving a 10 profit

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@roomthinker

Ivar The Boneless

5 years

Given recent developments - how do we know this is you???

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@roomthinker

Ivar The Boneless

16 days

Spent time trying to clean up the data at the National Employment Directory jobs website () and stopped mainly because the more I cleaned it up the more annoyed I got. Even the semi-cleaned-up data tells the story of what those 402,389 jobs mostly are

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@roomthinker

Ivar The Boneless

4 years

59% of Kenyans probably also want to have lunch with Rihanna. But what you want is irrelevant in the face of REALITY

@citizentvkenya

Citizen TV Kenya

@citizentvkenya

4 years

59 percent of Kenyans want places of worship reopened

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@roomthinker

Ivar The Boneless

2 years

This is not how justice works. Leave alone the law. Selective justice is injustice. Period.

@NationAfrica

Nation Africa

2 years

Governor Sakaja: I'm a believer, I'll not shut down noisy churches

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Ivar The Boneless

6 years

Ever wonder how in movies they shoot footage of people getting into cars?

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Ivar The Boneless

2 months

A heartwarming story but even as we watch this someone in the government is about to announce an animal adoption license, animal adoption fee, and animal adoption tax.

@citizentvkenya

Citizen TV Kenya

@citizentvkenya

2 months

The Bird Man of Nairobi: Man explains his unusual bond with his hawk named Johnson

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Ivar The Boneless

5 years

If it has only been seen by Africans, has it been seen? 🤔🤔🤔 These questions keep one up nights

@CNN

CNN

5 years

A rare black leopard has been spotted in Africa for the first in more than 100 years

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Ivar The Boneless

8 months

Look at how gaslighting takes place. ID applications are free. Govt proposes to hike them to 1000. After outcry the price is changed to 300. Then we are shamelessly told that after the "price has dropped from 1000 to 300." No sir. The price has increased from free to 300

@OleItumbi

-Dennis Itumbi, CBS

8 months

Government Listens. #SystemYaFacts Pending Public participation. 1. First time ID Application, prices drop from Shs. 1,000 to Shs. 300. 2. Applicants who demonstrate inability to be granted Waivers. 3. ID replacement fee reduced from Shs. 2,000 to

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Ivar The Boneless

5 years

Time is ripe for us to stop saying nonsense like this

@NationAfrica

Nation Africa

5 years

Mudavadi: Time is ripe for Luhya presidency

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Ivar The Boneless

12 days

The idea that Kuria, Nakhumicha, Ababu, Mutua, Jumwa all this time have had TWO advisors … 🤣🤣🤣

@Kenyans

Kenyans.co.ke

12 days

Head of Public Service Felix Koskei writes to all CSs to each choose one of their two advisors who will be fired by tomorrow

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Ivar The Boneless

4 years

If there was ever discovered a COVID vaccine this government would find a way to add Railway Levy

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@roomthinker

Ivar The Boneless

2 years

That public holiday to swear in Kenchic 1 is when?

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Ivar The Boneless

4 years

Next KCC will complain babies are breastfeeding

@BD_Africa

BusinessDaily

4 years

Kenya Power raises alarm over clients solar switch

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Ivar The Boneless

2 months

What a curious sight. A member of parliament who has actually done thorough research to understand just how HOSTILE this administration has made the business environment.

@Kabogo_Henry

Henry Kabogo 💧 ❄ 🇰🇪

2 months

Forget the nonsense of Kenyans vs Gema. Kericho and Nandi tea farmers farmers..Finance Bill 2024 will be shaving you next..🪒🪒

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Ivar The Boneless

6 months

I don't understand how these people lie on stuff that's trivial to verify. Using the Nakuru scheme, a 2 bedroom house is 3,150,000. Deposit, 10%, is 315,000. To raise 315,000 by saving 150 daily you need 2,100 days. If we assume a month is 30 days, this is 70 months, not 18.

@Kenyans

Kenyans.co.ke

6 months

If boda boda operators and mama mboga save Ksh150 every day, they will raise the deposit required in 18 months - President Ruto

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Ivar The Boneless

2 years

Wow. What a response. For those who are asking, we agreed God wears size 8 and a half shoes (when he wears them. He is barefoot most of the time). Also, he is 6' 2" tall and his favourite colour is green. You can tell just by looking outside.

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Ivar The Boneless

4 years

People whose kids study in private schools and universities abroad are telling you your kids should learn under trees. People who live in mansions with leafy compounds are cutting your trees. People who have private medical cover to the tune of billions won't pay doctors.

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Ivar The Boneless

9 months

Out of curiosity - how much does it cost the taxpayer to fly all the 24 cabinet secretaries, their aides, their security and their handlers to Mombasa, not to mention their transport, accommodation, meals and incidentals?

@OliverMathenge

Oliver Mathenge

@OliverMathenge

9 months

Cabinet meeting at State House, Mombasa.

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Ivar The Boneless

1 year

Whoa whoa! Wasn’t this fella serving a 67 year jail term??

@citizentvkenya

Citizen TV Kenya

@citizentvkenya

1 year

We will not be part of the Azimio demonstrations – John Waluke, Sirisia MP

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Ivar The Boneless

13 days

NSSF Twitter - ask yourself how many of your childhood friends went to public primary and secondary schools. Compare and contrast with how many of yours and your friends’ children go to public schools. That right there is a manifestation of government FAILURE.

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Ivar The Boneless

7 months

The video of Itumbi, in his apparent capacity of university chancellor handing out certificates to graduates of a certificate course standing next to a Rigathi dressed like a geriatric Puff Daddy is without a doubt the most absurd thing I’ve seen in a while on this app

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Ivar The Boneless

5 years

Interns do actual work That make you actual money And have actual expenses That cost them actual money Pay them

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Ivar The Boneless

5 years

We know that feeling sir. We don’t know why the president hired you

@Nairobi_News

Nairobi News

5 years

Echesa: I don't know why the president sacked me

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Ivar The Boneless

5 years

President: “Now guys we have a bunch of pressing issues. Flooding, displaced Kenyans, corruption, escalating debt, unemployment and inflation. What do we start with?” Cabinet: “We think Boxing Day has the wrong name”

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Ivar The Boneless

7 months

Guys. You can’t say 50% of the generators failed after saying the testing was rigorous. That’s not what rigorous testing means.

@KenyaAirports

Kenya Airports Authority

7 months

📢PRESS RELEASE📢: Official Statement on tonight's power outage at JKIA's Terminals 1A & 1E.

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Ivar The Boneless

1 year

BTW guys KNLS, and their facility on Ngong Road is a well-kept secret. It is quiet, cheap, has Wi-Fi and a surprisingly good collection of reference materials and books. I occasionally work from there when doing research. Highly recommend 👍🏽

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Ivar The Boneless

29 days

One thing I found very striking during yesterday's epic Twitter Space is the number of young people who were quite adamant that they wanted to work *IN* Kenya to build it. That narrative of jobs abroad doesn't seem to be as beloved as the Cheeks Mafia fondly believes.

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Ivar The Boneless

7 months

The truth is Kenyas are selfish and inconsiderate. Even if this road was 8 lanes this would still happen - there will be muppets who feel they are more in a hurry than others.

@AmbatiLucy

Lucy Ambati

7 months

Nairobi Nakuru road.

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Ivar The Boneless

1 month

Why are they sitting in Naivasha? We spent taxpayer money building Bunge Towers. We are now wasting more taxpayer money on per-diems and mileage for people who are harping on about how we need to tighten our belts.

@OleItumbi

-Dennis Itumbi, CBS

1 month

Finance Bill.... The committee has been sitting in Naivasha To consider all your feedback. It has been intense and widely participatory. Tomorrow in the afternoon, they table back their report. Never before have Finance Bills raised such debate. But President William Samoei

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Ivar The Boneless

6 years

West Pokot’s deputy governor has a full time job. As a surgeon. In the USA. Where he has been practicing since his election Satire in Kenya just writes itself

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Ivar The Boneless

3 years

Yesterday as I rode along UNLIT Langata, Mbagathi and Valley Roads I thought to myself ”There are FIVE institutions looking after roads in Kenya. Almost NONE of them are lit. Why then are these people still paid salaries and allowances?”

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Ivar The Boneless

5 months

If you were the person who followed Jowie's sister into the stairwell to record her anguish on your phone camera - something is VERY wrong with you

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Ivar The Boneless

3 years

If it wasn't for Twitter these shows would still be dropping utensils in a bathtub and asking us to identify the noise

@CSakwah

Author Sakwah Ongoma

3 years

This is the second time Jalang'o and Kamene are using my thread stories for their radio Content. It is sad that even after Jalang'o read my thread story and coined his content from it, he still referred to me as 'A thread from this guy.' No acknowledgment, no nothing.

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Ivar The Boneless

8 months

It’s been a minute since I’ve seen WordArt done so proudly

@Mathenge_UX

Chris Mathenge

8 months

Wah..Who did this?

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Ivar The Boneless

3 years

Is there a way this money can go towards Eunice’s treatment and rehabilitation?

@ntvkenya

NTV Kenya

3 years

Communication Authority of Kenya orders Homeboyz Radio to pay a KSh. 1M fine; suspends station's breakfast show for six months over violation of programming requirements.

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Ivar The Boneless

2 years

Such kindness from kids in a world and adults that routinely dish out disappointment and heartbreak. How awesome is that?

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Ivar The Boneless

5 years

Stay woke friends. Don’t get confused with 2022 nonsense. Where are we with these? - NYS I - NYS II - Kenya Power - Kenya Pipeline - NSSF - NHIF - National Cereals - Ruaraka land - Ministry Of Health - Youth Fund - Ministry Of Education - IEBC - Weston - National Land Commission

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Ivar The Boneless

5 years

They should punish Jaguar by making him listen to his own music

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Ivar The Boneless

14 days

Why would consumption drop if there is (allegedly) MORE housing being constructed by the government?

@dnahinga

Sacrinos Π 🇰🇪✊🏿

14 days

Cement Consumption declined by 12.7% to stand at 1,949.9 metric tonnes. #MjengoData #MjengoLove #MjengoHub

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Ivar The Boneless

6 months

@EstherPassaris @NGAAF_KE In your resolute haste to defend yourself you don’t seem to actually be listening to what the women are trying to tell you. Do you think chalking it up to “political scores” is making it better or worse?

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Ivar The Boneless

30 days

Kenyan youth today have impromptu held a virtual political rally that at some point had 55,000+ in audience. They completely bypassed the usual machinery, including politicians and the discussions have been actual issues from all over the county. This is a milestone!

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Ivar The Boneless

2 years

You can kill a man dead with a shot to the head, paralyze a man for life with a shot to the spine, loot state resources with impunity, launder money and even be an actual convicted felon and have your political career unaffected. But climb one stage in Dubai ...

@citizentvkenya

Citizen TV Kenya

@citizentvkenya

2 years

Karen Nyamu Summoned: UDA summons Nyamu following Dubai drama Njenga: Drama has brought shame to the party #Tonight @lillian_muli

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Ivar The Boneless

6 years

If guys are not already calling Mercury Lounge Kahawa Sukari i don’t know what’s wrong with this world

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Ivar The Boneless

7 months

I repeat - something is medically wrong with these people. What bollocks is this?????

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Ivar The Boneless

26 days

Since you are a young, educated and informed electorate, walk the talk and read the Protected Areas act the way you read the Finance Bill. It will be the height of foolishness to attempt to breach those walls. Don’t get carried away and go after Pyrrhic victories.

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Ivar The Boneless

5 years

Moving on. Pay interns. Interns are human beings. Who are already disadvantaged by virtue of their inexperience. Let’s not shadow box by hiding behind “exposure” and “networks” and “SMES” while we exploit and abuse these people. It is not right.

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Ivar The Boneless

9 months

Government: "Have you paid tax on these wells, bridges and computers? And did you enter Kenya with a wedding dress?"

@AdamMaina_

Adam Maina ™

9 months

YouTuber Mr. Beast has dug 52 wells, constructed a bridge, and provided computers to schools in Kenya. 👏🌍

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Ivar The Boneless

5 months

Being smart, the best student etc. might be completely true, but is also completely irrelevant when looking at the reality that the chap, completely unprovoked, came online on his own free will and demonstrated, unprovoked, the ethics of an alley-cat.

@IKwemoi

Isaac K🇰🇪🇳🇿

5 months

Dr @mbiti_mwondi is one of the smartest chaps I have met in real life. I schooled with him from F1-F4, 2008-2011(Same stream, North stream) in Chewoyet National School . The dude led us all the way. He was the best student in then newly formed West Pocket County. You couldn't

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Ivar The Boneless

5 years

Folks with Huduma Numbers kindly share experiences of the improved service delivery you are enjoying

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Ivar The Boneless

5 years

And here we have Kenyans looking at the debt ceiling

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Ivar The Boneless

28 days

Listen guys. - Government isn’t doing you a favour listening to you. That is how it should work. - Don’t simper when you are told “we respect the youth and their voice”. They should have done that all along. - These compliments are insincere, like “you speak such good English”

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Ivar The Boneless

9 months

Very infuriating how these guys have no qualms effortlessly and repeatedly calling us tax cheats. And yet taxpayer money is regularly looted and wasted by the same guys. Why isn’t there a label for that?

@ntvkenya

NTV Kenya

9 months

KRA now eyes eCitizen data to catch tax cheats

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Ivar The Boneless

2 years

Polycarp Igathe trying heroically to be a man of the people is truly cringe worthy

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Ivar The Boneless

2 years

Will Smith and Chris rock nonsense dominated the cycles so much folks didn’t realize Samuel L Jackson finally received an Oscar! 💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾 Fun fact - the L stands for Leroy

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Ivar The Boneless

2 months

Anyway guys let us look on the bright side. The next time the national police service , KRA, or your bank asks you to explain some money, tell them it’s from a friend. It’s its good enough for the president then it’s good enough for us.

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Ivar The Boneless

5 years

This kid has built more stadiums than … NVM 🐸 🍺

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Ivar The Boneless

2 years

“I saved you something from Christmas!” she said breathlessly before pulling something out of the bag and shyly presenting it. It was an 80g bar of chocolate that had clearly survived Christmas Day, Boxing Day and two trips across counties.

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Ivar The Boneless

6 years

Ayo @EzekielMutua kindly do something about this banana parading around here naked ignoring our cultural values. Would it be any less banana with its skin on? What message is it sending to other fruits? Where will we draw the line??

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Ivar The Boneless

7 months

Mans stood up in public with a microphone and said "Haiwezekani that I can't just do what I want!" and people clapped like muppets. You people have lost your minds!

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Ivar The Boneless

7 years

Political lessons 1) Rich president does not mean less corruption 2) Success in the private sector does not translate into public sector success 3) When it comes to benefits & emoluments - there is no opposition / government divide 4) Once sworn in - they all lie without shame

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Ivar The Boneless

4 years

Jayden should enter his shirt for today in that Artcaffe contest

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Ivar The Boneless

6 months

Yaani you can just be walking in Nairobi and randomly bump into Kelis. 👌🏾👌🏾

@SupremeGREAM

Samurai Noetic

6 months

Kanairo is hectic

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Ivar The Boneless

10 months

You are the minister of ICT and your boss is in silicon valley with Apple, Twitter, Starlink, Microsoft etc. and wewe uko hapa distributing P.E. kits and launching wifi hotspots. 🤡 Personally, if it were me - I'd take minute for some quiet introspection.

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Ivar The Boneless

12 days

If it was fully funded by the CDF - why does it have your name?

@HonOscarSudi

Hon Oscar Sudi

13 days

1/3 Education is the greatest equalizer in every society. To ensure our children enjoy a conducive learning environment at Kapseret constituency we are giving a face-lift to the schools. This is Oscar Sudi Mixed Secondary School- Ngeria ward, fully funded by the NG CDF.

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Ivar The Boneless

8 months

Look at clownery 🤡🤡🤡 So what are you saying? That the other 700 joyriders ignored you and came anyway? That you are unable to assert yourself as a government? That all these guys don't take you seriously?

@citizentvkenya

Citizen TV Kenya

@citizentvkenya

8 months

Hussein Mohamed: Gov't Only Cleared 51 People To Attend UAE Climate Summit

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Ivar The Boneless

9 months

No offence, but what you experienced there was stage managed for your benefit. For the real experience passengers face, go back there incognito without security with a hat and fake moustache. Then you will experience the authentic JKIA. Bonus points if you carry a wedding dress

@CG_KRA

Humphrey Wattanga

9 months

To gain a firsthand understanding of the traveler's experience, we walked through these halls with Sally Serem, Chief Manager Passengers' Clearance JKIA, who was gracious enough to show us how things work and also take us through some of the restricted goods which you can see

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Ivar The Boneless

4 years

Life sure comes at you fast

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Ivar The Boneless

4 months

Guys, don't be gaslit in broad daylight. You ALREADY pay 30% in PAYE alone, not to mention VAT, land rates miscellaneous cesses, levies and fees (not to mention a BS convenience fee for E-Citizen). God will ask first what those who collected that money did with it!

@Kenyans

Kenyans.co.ke

4 months

You will stand before God to answer why you were able and refused to pay 2.75% and then you'll go to hell - President Ruto

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Ivar The Boneless

8 months

We need to stop glorifying innovation. The bulk of success comes from the boring, monotonous, routine heavy lifting that keeps the lights on and the wheels turning. This too needs to be celebrated

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Ivar The Boneless

7 months

Not sure what the lions were meant to do instead. Issue a press statement?

@MombasaEmir

𝙴𝚖𝚒𝚛 of #𝟶𝟶𝟷

7 months

In Shimba Hills, Kwale, Lions still roam freely, despite eating a bodaboda rider on 1st January

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@roomthinker

Ivar The Boneless

5 years

What we learnt yesterday …

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Ivar The Boneless

2 years

A minute of silence for this legend who surprised me with the lengths to which the military trains its personnel

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Ivar The Boneless

5 years

Can we do this at national level?

@NationBreaking

Nation Breaking News

@NationBreaking

5 years

EMBU MCAS pass motion suspending tax collection in the county until senior officers accused of graft step aside to pave way for investigations.

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@roomthinker

Ivar The Boneless

6 years

Responses to this tweet are not going the way KTN imagined ...

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Ivar The Boneless

1 year

Kenyans are in some dystopian reality trapped between guys who can’t believe they won and another bunch of guys who can’t believe they lost

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Ivar The Boneless

6 months

A gesture no doubt, but how will 5k help you with 3rd degree burns and an absolutely broken public health system that as we speak is exporting nurses and other professionals??

@K24Tv

K24 TV

6 months

Embakasi gas blast survivors to receive Ksh5K each – Passaris

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@roomthinker

Ivar The Boneless

2 years

Why can't we as Kenyans have nice things like people in authority that don't have running murder, corruption and rape cases!

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@roomthinker

Ivar The Boneless

6 years

Destroying property put up on riparian land, public land etc is not enough. The system is the bigger issue. These guys had permits and approval and certificates. Who issues those? Who approved and signed those? Why aren’t we going after those guys?

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Ivar The Boneless

2 years

For the first time in living memory I have in my possession a bar of chocolate I do not in fact intend to eat.

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Ivar The Boneless

2 months

When you complete radiotherapy for cancer, it is a tradition to ring a hand bell in celebration. I am so happy to accompany my friend and colleague Pauline to ring her bell. In a world that seemingly has so many losses, when there is a win - we must celebrate!

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Ivar The Boneless

2 years

I don’t know about you but this speaks VOLUMES about the quality of education our kids are receiving.

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Ivar The Boneless

5 years

Let us stop this cycle of Suffering Porn. If you find things broken, fix them for the guys coming after you. Whether it is IEBC, bullying in schools, nonsense bureaucracy or abuse of interns. As a rule in life, let us leave things better than we found them

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Ivar The Boneless

6 years

Guys @dailynation @StandardKenya @TheStarKenya can you consider picking a week, say that of the 21st and for that week do not cover politicians in any way shape or form. No press, radio or tv. Don’t attend events, press conferences or speeches. Just a week to give Kenyans a break

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Ivar The Boneless

2 years

Your reminder that the people who routinely engineer cutting down our trees themselves have plenty of greenery on their property

@itssoulo

Motorgarimadness!

2 years

These drone shots from @StateHouseKenya are 🔥🔥🔥

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