Autozone Jones @robbywgucci Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

5 years

LADIES: Call of duty comes out tonight. No calling, no texting, no asking me to tap dance on the coochie. Im busy invading Syria with my buddies. Direct messages are closed until further notice and this is not up for discussion. Thank you.

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

5 years

Thank god Instagram is back up I had to post my ass pics on LinkedIn for like 4 hours

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

5 years

Did not see this one comin

Push Square

@pushsquare

5 years

Here's your very first look at the #PS5 logo.

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

7 years

You can give ur girl a bag a necklace flowers Compassion Loyalty But u can never give her a J.D. Power award in vehicle dependability and automotive performance. And that’s why having Chevy in the driveway is so important. Tweet brought to you by real people, not actors

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

6 years

Saturday night plans - Get drunk with the fellas✅ - Hit the bars✅ - drunk text 14 chicks ✅ - get ignored by 13✅ - ignore the only one that answers✅ - go home, stop at McDonald’s✅ - tweet gods plan✅ Aight bed time

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

6 years

I usually don’t do this but here’s a song I wrote that means a lot to me and hopefully it’ll help others not be afraid to share what they create

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

5 years

*my son comes downstairs* ME: son, in this house we have drip. Now, you go back upstairs and put on the Versace hoodie your grandmother gave you. Don’t forget your cartier bracelet. Life is about clout, Stevey. You won’t get any pussy at school wearing that billabong t shirt.

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

4 years

What planet am I on

Brandon Wall

@Walldo

4 years

Lil Pump takes the stage at the Trump rally shortly after 1amET on Election Day. Trump introduces him as "Little Pimp"

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

4 years

Oh it’s earth day? I really wanted to see all the places you took a gas guzzling airplane to. Thanks for sharing I was wondering where you went

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

5 years

Mom can you come get me there’s a kid with his ears tucked in his hat here

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

4 years

When the bartender suggests that 40 jagerbombs between 4 of your buddies is too much

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

4 years

He’s a comedian you fucking moron it’s an act. Everyday we stray further and further from god.

Anita Bennett

@tvanita

4 years

Did Bill Burr really just say that? Calling Black folks "equator people," White women "b--ches" and claiming he never heard of Pride Month. #SNL please do better

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

5 years

I don’t get serious on here but it’s getting pretty frustrating that girls only talk to me because I have a customized boston bruins Discover debit card with no annual fee that earns 5% cash back each quarter and plus I even earn unlimited cash back match in my first year.

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

4 years

If they cancel the little league World Series I swear to fuckin god

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

3 years

rappers rap about having 2 phones like it’s a flex but it’s really not, with Verizon’s buy one get $800 off a second phone both with unlimited data (talk and text) it’s a pretty manageable purchase. Terms and conditions do apply though. George bush did 9/11.

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

7 years

I can't piss in public when I'm shit faced but nazi people can march around with torches yelling racist shit cause they have a "permit" Ok

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

1 year

I got ur girl the grimace shake from McDonald’s and now she’s bouncing on my shit 😂

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

7 years

It’s December 24th. Millions of kids are in bed staring at the ceiling too excited to sleep, believing that some guy named Santa is going to finesse down the chimney and deliver gifts. What a bunch of dumbasses.

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

5 years

[ job interview ] Boss: and your email? You left it blank Me: I don’t have one Boss: you don’t have..an email? Me: ok I do aha I made it a long time ago tho Boss: ok, what is it? Me: CheekDestroyer41 @yahoo Boss: ... Me: .... Boss: any spaces in that

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

7 years

Me: hey how's it goin Bitcoin guy: haha you think bitcoin is fake? You’re an idiot you’ve never seen 900% returns before like me. You’re stupid. Fucked your mom too. It’s not a scam dude google it then

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

4 years

how about we build a wall around white dudes who own camo pants

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

2 years

I’m 2 chief keef songs away from getting tatted up like a d1 wide receiver

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

2 years

Did you know over 25% of the bones in your body are located in your feet and 100% of my bone is in your girl

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

3 years

My entire family died at the December to remember Lexus sales event

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

6 years

Why is “no elbows on the table” even a thing? It’s one of the most comfortable places to put your elbows. What a stupid fucking rule. Old people are idiots. Maybe that’s why they couldn’t figure out how to make the internet and had cell phones the size of bricks

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

7 years

Teacher: Chris, plans after school?" Criss Angel: First of all It's CRISS and I'm gonna do fuckin magic tricks and shit Teacher: ohh

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

4 years

“Tell everyone I said hi” yea I’ll make sure I do that

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

4 years

All this far-right movement and far-left movement talk but nobody wants to put respect on the Far East movement smh🤦‍♂️

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

4 years

LADIES: while most businesses are closed please remember that my direct messages remain open. Thank you.

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

5 years

wait do the balls go in the condom too?

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

6 years

It’s 2019. Mountain Dew hasn’t answered me in 4 years.

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

4 years

I guess Santa came down the chimney and committed a quadruple homicide my entire family is dead

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

5 years

Why isn’t there marriage contracts with terms? Why can’t I sign for a 5 year marriage with an option to extend it. Does it really have to be for my entire life. What if it gets boring

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

4 years

Nobody wants to watch anybody doing push ups. This is insane. As a nation we need to come up with better content during these trying times.

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

3 years

Me: how did we get a noise complaint? Werent we in the house all night? Andy: yeah we were *flashback to 2 am, blacked out Sunday night* Me and Andy in the front yard:

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

5 years

On this day 100 years ago jesus woke up from a wicked brutal blackout and stumbled into the town center. A crowd gathered, stunned that Jesus didn’t die after shotgunning all those 4Lokos. Jesus said, this is my blood and my bread. Eat this shit. Then Easter was made.

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

6 years

I’ve been DMing Mountain Dew for 3 years and haven’t got an answer.

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

4 years

dudes accept one phone call with their AirPods in then start making Instagram stories about how to build a brand

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

4 years

500 retweets and I’ll eat this on Instagram live with my shirt off and I’ll actually do it this time

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

3 years

I just woke up and Santa was sitting reverse cowgirl on my lap.

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

5 years

Why did the property brothers double team my wife after they remodeled our kitchen.

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

5 years

My friend over there thinks ur cute

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

4 years

Got ur girl giving me stimulus neck

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

2 years

Same side of the table alert

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

5 years

Lost so much money betting on this tournament

FOST

@GeorgeFoster72

7 years

☹️

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

3 years

I’m going to Dubai and I have a 3 hour layover in Afghanistan, only flight available. Tough go

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

5 years

This dude has definitely killed so many people

Gene Park

@GenePark

5 years

Papa John is going to eat 50 pizzas in 30 days and wishes you a “heppy” New Years

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

4 years

Congrats on the 10 push ups now go kill yourself

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

4 years

Me and the lads after 5 Sunday morning jagerbombs

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

5 years

yo my homies over there think ur cute

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

3 years

My grandpa just pulled out a gun and pointed it at my head in the kitchen and said I’ll fucking kill you and I said why? he said sorry I thought I was back in the war. I said it’s ok grandpa, it happens. Then he shot my grandma in the head. Blood everywhere. Worst Christmas ever

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

1 year

not a politics guy but what is good with us sending billions of dollars to ukraine. Go get your own money dude this is our shit, we have shit going on too. Hawaii is on fire. Detroit doesn’t have water. I’m a gay retard. Florida is almost under water. Like come on what’s goin on

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

4 years

Ur honor in my defense my coupe is retarded

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

2 years

yo straight up I’m not jacking off until Russia gets out of Ukraine 🇺🇦💯

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

5 years

Nobody: Girl wearing fucking massive filas: Astroworld was decent but I was in my EDM phase so I need to re-listen to it

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

3 years

what are the chances that Friday and Saturday are literally back to back days of the week. Unbelievable 1-2 punch

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

2 years

Bad news for my haters I woke up

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

1 year

Baby gronk found dead in Miami penthouse.

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

4 years

If I had to replace the faces on Mount Rushmore it would be Shakira Derek Jeter Moneybagg Yo Sidney Crosby

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

5 years

How does Chris Columbus have a holiday this dude was a true prick I mean the guy stumbled on a country by accident and then killed everyone in it and said ok now it’s mine. Should we just give OJ Simpson a holiday too? Happy OJ Simpson day no work on Monday

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

4 years

Chicks that are engaged in their mid 20’s will take a picture of a blanket and be like we got this new blanketttttt

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

6 years

Like Andy said, thanks for the screenshot of the post Malone song you’re listening to. Nobody else is doing that today. You’re the only one. Very creative and authentic story, thanks for sharing.

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

5 years

Lol you get drunk and DM girls? How about DMing the troops you selfish son of a bitch

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

5 years

when the bar willingly serves you 10 drinks and then the bartender scolds you for standing on the table with your shirt off

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

5 years

Getting drunk at the local high school hockey game and people say I don’t support my community

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

4 years

Say their names ? I just googled the first dude and hes a white supremacist that murdered an entire family. Why would we say this guys name. Hahahah politics is absolutely wild

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

8 years

Marc Staal on the ice right now

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

3 years

My entire family just died at the year end Toyotathon sales event.

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

4 years

Bitches buy stuff then thank the company on Instagram for sending it like it was free.

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

4 years

Named My garage special Ed cause it full of retarted coupes

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

3 years

Me at 8:59 in the morning going to the liquor store to get the khalua for the White Russians

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

3 years

Oh my dicks too small? What if your vaginas just too long

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

3 years

Ladies: you can’t just say it’s hot girl summer every single summer. You just can’t. Hot girl summer was over two years ago. It’s a white boy summer stop trying to take that away from us

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

4 years

Why do dudes in big trucks get mad when you pass them on the road. This isn’t a race. We aren’t even going to the same place. I’m just going to your girls house

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

5 years

BREAKING: Andy and I will be traveling to Toronto in August to drink alcohol. Per sources.

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

5 years

Elevator shafts always have to be constructed before the building because the concrete ok fellas now that the ladies aren’t reading this anymore do you guys wanna play multiplayer tonight on call of duty right away or play campaign mode to figure out what guns we like the best

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

3 years

Like this tweet if Andy should buy a hellcat

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

3 years

Me waiting for my McDonald’s at 2 am after 25 drinks at the bar

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

5 years

This dude in a charger just pulled up at the light and signaled for me to put my window down, so I did. Asked me to race and I said ok and then somehow we just got out of our cars and started kissing

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

5 years

Unpopular opinion but kissing your boys on the lips isn’t even gay

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

4 years

this country spends billions and billions on defense but a bunch of slim jim eating duck dynasty fans just strolled right into one of the most important buildings in the nation

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

7 years

My New Years resolution is to do more cocaine and hook up with more Latina girls they always throwing it back like a dodgeball tournament

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

7 years

[property brothers at the bar] Girl: hey Jonathan: I do the dirty work, he does the selling! Girl: I know who you- Drew: I’m the agent, and Jonathan here does the dirty work Girl: oh ya I know I’ve seen the *drew & Jonathan simultaneously* “We’re the property brothers”

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

5 years

Crazy the pelicans will draft Zion Williamson, have Ingram.. w lonzo as a point guard and still have ok fellas now that the ladies aren’t reading this are u supposed to go right at the clit or just around it

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

4 years

Nobody: White dudes watching a baseball swing: good cut

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

5 years

1999 was 50 years ago. Let that sink in.

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

5 years

Why do people say have a safe flight. I’m not driving the plane, am I? Didn’t think so. It’s completely out of my hands how safe it goes. So don’t come near me and say have a fucking safe flight

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

4 years

son: dad, how did u meet mom? Me: well son, your mom was at a bar acting kinda cunty but I liked the $7,000 Hermes bag she was holding so I asked for her Instagram and liked 75 of her pictures at 4 in the morning.. rest is history Son: why were you awake at 4 am? Me: cocaine

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

2 years

imagine sleeping in on NFL Sunday. Couldn’t be me. I’m already wide awake ass naked in my kitchen drinking beer and grilling hot dogs and hamburgers. There’s a foam finger jammed up my ass right now, why? Because I care football. It’s literally NFL Sunday. Wake the fuck up.

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

4 years

Babe it’s not that I don’t miss you it’s just my buddies got trashed on the golf course again so I’m gonna meet up with them after and get just as trashed. U know how it is aha

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

3 years

wait do cigarettes add or subtract minutes from your life I can’t remember

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

7 years

I wanna get so drunk that my vision turns into android camera quality

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

4 years

Kim Jong un has been found dead in Miami apartment.

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

5 years

Being a dad is 50% falling asleep on the couch and 50% hanging out with your buddies away from your wife

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

3 years

Hat: on my head Black t shirt: wearing it Drink: sipping it Your girl: keeps hitting me up The boys: I’m with them Friday mode is activated

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

6 years

never seen a dude drip that hard in a Chevrolet shirt

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

3 years

Do YoU GEt UsEd tO thE Heat In aRiZona? Do u get used to being a fucking idiot? What the fuck do u think? It’s 110 degrees I’m not a reptile I’m a person your question just ruined my entire day

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

4 years

There is only 1 race it’s human race. If u see a dog but it’s a different color than another dog it’s still just a dog? Am I fucking high or is there no reason to call a different color skin person another race. Aren’t we all just... people ? McDonald’s worker: yea I guess so

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

4 years

If Steve Jobs was so smart then why is he dead

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Autozone Jones

@robbywgucci

5 years

You either control the scary hours or the scary hours will control you

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