Pete Mandik @petemandik Twitter profile

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

1 year

Philosophers I have drawn. A thread 🧵

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

2 months

My main experience with people who claim you can learn a lot from the freely available information is that they have learned very little from the freely available information.

Wall Street Silver

@WallStreetSilv

2 months

The value of a PhD in 2024 is approaching $0.00

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

9 years

Hey,dogs barking, we get it: At the core of existence dwells an unspeakable malaise.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

8 years

i got blood on my iphone the other day and before i could wipe it off siri made a slurpy noise and it was gone

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

7 years

Doctor, it hurts...

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

10 years

Doctor, it hurts when I go like this: *exists*

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

9 years

Today during a meeting I forgot the word for "word" and just called it a "meaning fulcrum" and we all fell into a semantic black hole.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

10 years

Instead of yelling at someone who angers you, try whistling a melody so sweet and pure it breaks their heart into a thousand tiny diamonds.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

9 years

When I was a chestburster, I spoke and thought as a chestburster; but when I became a xenomorph, I put away chestburster things.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

9 years

I'd be far more impressed with He-Man if he went all the way and got his doctorate of the universe.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

9 years

ME [yelling down into a volcano]: You shut your stupid Earth mouth

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

5 months

@lastpositivist I also find it impossible to parse. But I parsed it anyway.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

29 days

“philosopher” aka “lover of wisdom” was a sarcastic derisive term invented by Greeks to make fun of Pythagoreans, who were goofy and annoying. Don’t call yourself a philosopher unless you are in fact goofy and annoying.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

8 years

Tuba = Terrible Underwater Breathing Apparatus

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

2 years

The optimal known packing of a triangle into itself.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

2 months

@NaturalismPanth As someone with a lot of experience being both an autodidact and a heterodidact in various areas and times I can say: motivation is the hardest part to keep stoked when going solo.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

9 years

I believe: - I can fly. - Children are the future. - Knowledge is power. - I will use my powers to defeat the future children.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

9 years

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

7 years

If you say “quote unquote” you have quoted nothing. You have failed. You are a failure.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

10 years

Am I pretty good at fishing for compliments?

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

9 years

Dance around the obelisk with us, Karen. It's good cardio and good cardio pleases the obelisk.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

10 years

Fifth base. http://t.co/59XwmMICAr

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

9 years

The wizard at the truck stop says we’re white blood cells rushing to a wound in a murdered universe. Pass it on.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

8 years

[touching face upon receiving compliment] Glad you like it. But, it's not a teardrop tattoo. It's an Oxford comma.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

9 years

I hope my army of robots fares better than my navy of robots.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

26 days

Intelligence is the memory of sandwiches.

maya benowitz 🕰️

@cosmicfibretion

26 days

Consciousness is the perception of time.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

9 years

Hey, is that free will in your pocket, or are your actions just the net outcome of genetics and environment?

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

7 months

I’m teaching a class this semester in which students will be writing words. What are some good examples of words?

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

1 year

Imagine people arguing about whether artificial hearts pump blood. “It’s only blood-pumping if meat hearts do it.” “Hearts don’t pump blood, people pump blood.” “‘Pumping’ is an outdated mechanical metaphor that cannot do justice to the complexities of biogenic fluid transport.”

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

9 years

I put my shoes on before my pants to remind myself life ain't easy, son.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

8 years

PANICKED FLIGHT ATTENDANT: Is anyone here a doctor? ME, STRIDING FORWARD, KNOCKING DOWN OTHER PASSENGERS: I fucking love science.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

9 years

I have just completed knitting a tiny sweater for my one true friend, who is a grape.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

10 years

A preist, a rabbi, and an atheist are in a rowboat together. Despite their differences, they enjoy the afternoon.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

8 years

A priest, a rabbi, and an atheist are in a rowboat together. Despite their differences, they enjoy the afternoon.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

9 years

In the future I will replace my feet with chainsaws after accidentally cutting them off with my chainsaw hands.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

10 years

i’m doing my part to save daylight and thus help wean America off its dependence on foreign daylight.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

9 years

Pretty insulting when you wake up in a bathtub of ice and they left all your organs.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

8 years

Finally worked up the nerve to strike up a convo with the scary clown in my back yard. Found out we're both INTJs. Nice.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

10 years

Today's horoscope: You will continue to annoy your dwindling circle of friends by confusing your preferences with morality.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

8 years

If you're going to cast a symbolic vote why not go all the way and write in the Platonic form of goodness.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

8 years

my new strategy for dealing with email is to wait for the sender to die of natural causes

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

1 year

@SkinnyTuna weird pivot from hard scifi to supernatural horror made it suck. like if the devil showed up in the last 20 minutes of 28 days later

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

9 years

Now that the ball war is over let us cherish this time of ball peace.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

4 months

nice instance of a comic that can’t be translated into a noncomic

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

9 years

If you don't have anything nice to say, then say it in the dark tongue of Mordor; that shit is super bad-ass.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

9 years

Looking at bathroom scale wondering how I suddenly gained (1.98855±0.00025)×10^30 kg and then I remembered last night I ate the sun.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

9 years

What's that, Lassie? The well is actually empty? As are all things?

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

8 years

[long ago] A: Ok, so let's mush a tree to pulp and then make flat thingies out of it. B: Great idea. Write that down. A: Where?

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

9 years

alas, I have once more abraded my mouth's roof with these damnable looped fruits

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

9 years

In the future we will type with our toes to keep our hands free for punching robots.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

10 years

I think a good prank to play is to be buried in a box after you've lived a good life and touched the hearts of people who admire you.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

7 years

Whenever I meet a newborn baby I like to ask them which concepts they think are innate.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

7 years

The secret to bearing witness to the fall of civilization and ensuing widespread human misery is to enjoy it ironically.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

9 years

I love guests. Rules for guests: Do not use language. Touch nothing. See nothing. You may not sit, stand, or recline. Get the fuck out.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

9 years

You're caught off guard by an early and personal spring. Stare slack-jawed as birds erupt from your mouth and flowers from your chest hair.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

9 years

Scientists report global context shortage. "I guess I'll have flan," some scientist said, totally out of context.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

9 years

If someone tells you they don't like some particular word, do not torment them with it. To do so is totally moist.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

8 years

Wake in a glass coffin at the bottom of the aquarium. In the eyes of the gathered octopuses you find intelligence, but no hint of sympathy.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

2 months

@GribolthX Yes, right-wing anti-education propaganda has a long tradition

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

9 years

tweet weirdly into the void, for it pleases the obelisk

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

10 years

Do not say "dag nabbit" or "gol durnit" for you will incite the wrath of the god twins Dag and Gol who will nabb and durn you for eternity.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

6 months

People who read the Meno better ace this.

Dr. Catharine Young

@catgyoung

6 months

I may have a PhD but I’m also apparently failing fourth grade math 💀😭

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

9 years

Whenever you catch yourself caring about being popular, remind yourself of how shitty the most popular things are.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

9 years

My pet rocks are also capable of flight and I do you a great honor by letting them visit your glass house.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

8 years

You're on the beach with Snail Jesus and you smile when you notice that there's only one slime trail.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

9 years

Ugh, once again scratched my monocle falling asleep on my pile of gold coins.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

8 years

ME [to a baby being born]: I was born once. Pretty wild.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

1 year

Naturalist philosophers who defer to science for their metaphysics need to read more physics twitter. Check out the physicists fighting over what’s physical.

Rafa - Retard/acc👑

@PimentelES1987

1 year

No it isn't Literally the only things that are physical are measurements

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

7 years

Conversational tip: For every minute that you spend talking about yourself, set aside 10 seconds for the other person to say something; give them time to give you a compliment.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

7 years

when the bug you accidentally ate also accidentally ate a bug thats insectption

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

5 months

We gave ~8,000 people in 40 countries an infinite series of finite distances to traverse during a finite time interval: here’s how they did:

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

10 months

@lastpositivist one of the benefits of old age is giving fewer and fewer fcks about what is and isn’t cringe

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

2 months

Serious question: What’s the “subjective” in “subjective experiences” there for?

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

4 months

@victorckumar you need to first get her addicted to devising her own devastating counterexamples. draw her in by asserting wildly implausible generalizations. the rest is paint-by-numbers.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

6 years

The human brain is garbage.

Massimo

@Rainmaker1973

6 years

Ambiguous grid by Kokichi Sugihara of Meiji University in Japan. A mathematically calculated combination of perspective and the physics of reflection produce this striking illusion that works in many configurations [more: ]

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

8 years

If the universe gave a shit, would I be able to do this?: *leads a life utterly devoid of meaning*

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

6 years

Philosophy Department Office Map

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

2 months

@rockyredpanda @LittleMammith Right on. A certain kind and depth of learning is near impossible without being in a position wherein one has “skin in the game,” which comes with having a peer cohort united by their commitment to a particular path and set of guides.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

6 months

Reification isn’t a thing.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

8 years

My prize-winning taco recipe works best with ground beef, but in a pinch you can substitute sky beef.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

8 years

many people mistake baby mummies for rolls of toilet paper

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

3 months

My philosophy in a tweet: Ontology: The consensus of academic philosophers Epistemology: The consensus of academic philosophers Philosophy of Religion: The consensus of academic philosophers Moral Philosophy: The consensus of academic philosophers

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

8 years

Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be cowboy robots inviting us to question the very nature of consciousness and reality.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

9 years

THE LAST OF THE ELDER GODS, DWELLING IN SUPREME DARKNESS: Ugh, the wifi here is terrible.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

2 years

You can’t scientifically explain water because all scientific explanations presuppose water (because scientists’ bodies are 60% water).

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

9 years

If you organize your snakes properly you can pet a whole buncha them at once.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

10 years

Are Germans impressed with our having coined a single word to refer to sharknados?

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

8 years

ME: Question everything. MY INTERN GARY: Ok, why do we have to retype all of your tweets into a spreadsheet? ME: Shut the fuck up, Gary.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

7 years

bitten by a radiohead spider and now i'm a creep; i'm a weirdo

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

9 years

The first american flag was found on the moon by space vikings in 960 AD.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

9 years

Not to be reductionist but *literally is just a collection of quarks and electrons.*

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

9 years

I shot a man in Reno just to have phenomenological access to the loss of Being.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

10 years

I bet if you had a lot of turtles on hand the urge to stack them would be overwhelming.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

8 months

It’s easy to understand what “ontological” means. It concerns what is, and how it is, what is not, and how it is not, and whether what is not might in some sense count among what there is, and whether any of what is might not have been, and whether anything that isn’t could be.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik

2 years

There’s absolutely no scientific evidence that today is Tuesday.

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Pete Mandik

@petemandik