@herosnvrdie69
GoFundMe then: Wow, this will be a great way to help people fund creative projects!
GoFundMe now: oh no. Oh god. This is bleak. somebody please do something
@kyletrow
@Hbomberguy
One time I went on a date with a woman who told me she had a 15 year old son. The next day she called me crying saying her son had died and I started going “ohmygodohmygod”. I then learned her son was a cat
@JucheMane
For whose benefit? Flying is a miserable, uncomfortable experience that everyone wants to get through as painlessly as possible. No one is gonna look at a nerd with a three piece suit and think “wow wish I did that”.
@bonerhitler
My brother did something similar when he was on a jury. He said everyone wanted to say guilty without discussing the case at all and he had to argue the prosecution didn’t actually make the case. He said the whole experience made him paranoid of ever being in a similar situation
@julianfeeld
How have all the satanic panic conservatives not latched on to this of all things? Freaking out about a celebrity covered in fake blood when this is true man made horror
@murderxbryan
Jordan Peterson, fighting back tears: it’s called Bee Movie which would lead you to believe, hearing the title, it is a B-Movie or a low budget movie. It is anything but! The Bee in question is B E E and the film is transcendent!
@JarJarFan69
Kim Jong Un will sometimes offer you a fine cigar and even light it for you but the cigar is not a cigar at all, it is a stick of dynamite
We’re asking everyone to please refrain from using the
#dumpsterdaddy
hashtag. We don’t want to get this trending. It would be shameful and embarrassing.
@replyguys_txt
That must be an awesome super power to just be like “actually I’m hot af” and have the reply guy instantly “muuuuuh I’m a worm. Step on me. End my life”
@ByYourLogic
Funny to think the first body double the secret service had was probably perfect but trump wanted him to be “hotter” and “not walk like there’s a load in his pants”
@Srirachachau
Can’t wait for the inspirational biopic about her
Producer: a hot blonde woman with nice boobs? Get outta here! This ain’t a charity!!
Sydney Sweeney: please.Let me prove I’m worthy enough for prestige tv!
@willmenaker
I hate when I’m just trying to play some Qudditch in the park with my bros and broettes and there’s a family of five that have set up camp smack dab in the middle of the field. Like, uh, excuse me? You didn’t rent this field time on the app. We did.