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Mike (y) Profile
Mike (y)

@mikey_007_

221
Followers
503
Following
994
Media
14,017
Statuses

a summer brand. I tweet a lot about Chelsea and cheese fries. you’re on your own kid, you always have been.

Chicago, IL
Joined December 2020
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
2 years
An only fans: but it’s just me playing 90’s sitcom guitar licks and eating spoonfuls of melted cheese. There has to be a demo for this
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
11 months
@keelsonwheels14 One time a girl, day of date wanted to change the time, location, then location again(all within an hour of our plans ) and when I said “whatever works best for you I guess” she canceled. And honestly, it was for the best.
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
2 years
She got us kicked out of our second spot after she almost got into a fight over literally nothing. When I tried to defuse the situation she accused me of “not having her back”. I think I’ve finally found the one
@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
2 years
This girl I’m on a date with now is either going to my last crazy girl or my wife, no in between.
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
2 years
The CEO of my company is retiring, should I apply to replace him?
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
2 years
The FAA being down is scary, thank god we as a nation have implemented a robust high speed rail system that can take the pressure off of airlines during this trying time.
@Denver7Traffic
Jayson Luber
2 years
There are planes in the air right now but no new departures are allowed by the FAA until after 7am our time.
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
3 years
4th date tonight. She has an android and uses Amazon music, so I legit might be murdered but that’s part of the fun
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
5 months
My date today showed up as the most hung over girl in all of Chicago, in case anyone was wondering if I could still pick’em
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
1 year
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@SarAllyce
Sara 🌴
1 year
Why are u as a man doing group fitness classes
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
1 year
Important announcement
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
2 years
East coast girls kinda scare the life out of me
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
7 months
I’m like 6 weeks into my new job and these are the slack messages I’m getting. I love it here
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
3 years
@StephNoh This is the thing about guys like LaVine. We judged him at 23 not being a full product(because he wasn’t) - growth isn’t always linear, but the warning signs were there. He always cared, he was in a bad spot with coaches/schemes/injuries ect. His emergence doesn’t surprise me
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
1 year
“You don’t get it, it’s different here, we turn the whole RIVER green and it becomes the biggest party day of the year. No where else like it”
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
2 years
@si_yonce Pre game is freeflowing, a power is when you play a mash up of songs one minute long and have to drink every-time the song changes.
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
3 years
#top5favoritethings @babyjooj 1. On Repeat Spotify playlist 2. Nike flex Stride 5’ inch shorts 3. Taking over the TouchTunes at the bar 4. Drinking a Topo Chico on a week night acting like it’s a beer 5. drinking rosè 12 months and telling people “summer is a state of mind”
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
3 years
My buddies go to move for getting a date is by telling a girl he “has an extra ticket to the Cubs game” and seeing if she’ll say yes, and if she does he just goes and buys tickets. It’s honestly not that awful of a move.
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
2 years
Paul McCartney coming out during the Taylor Hawkins tribute concert has me in my feels. Say what you want about the Beatles but that man has been the most famous musician in the world for 60 years and still cares as much as anyone.
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
1 year
We hate it here
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
1 year
@nic_eags @illyy___ The amount of gaslighting this poor women has been though has to be endless.
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
2 years
@mlscroggin Having grown up 20 minutes from Kenosha, I’ve met this exact man no less then 200 times
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
3 years
My 22 year old co-worker got me a thank you card for coming to his birthday lunch and that’s just so nice.
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
1 year
Friday morning swim club. Everyone have a good day
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
1 year
Went on a date to a candle bar and made this cute lil’ candle. Happy Friday pals.
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
1 year
I did not survive dry January(got close) but I did read 3 books and lose 5 pounds so, who’s the real loser
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
1 year
Checking in
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
1 year
My dream gf: -rings my bell -wears keds -wears white socks -current boyfriend drives an iroc -doesn’t know who I am -doesn’t give a damn about -doesn’t know what she’s missing -has an two ticket to Iron Maiden
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
7 months
Important announcement
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
1 year
We out here for real
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
1 year
At a street fest and do I need a bucket of cheese fries? No. But do I want a bucket of cheese fries, yes I do.
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
3 years
My birthday present to myself is champagne and Whole Foods pizza. Height of luxury some would say.
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
1 year
Getting a couple tattoo is usually a bad idea, getting a couple tattoo with someone who’s been divorced 3 times, is a worse idea.
@PageSix
Page Six
1 year
Jennifer Lopez, Ben Affleck prove their ‘commitment’ with matching tattoos
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
1 year
Me and Tom Brady have a lot in common now just two single bros who don’t play in the NFL. A lot to bond over.
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
1 year
We are living in the glenaissance and I for one and here for it
@GQMagazine
GQ Magazine
1 year
. @GlennHowerton is having a career-changing summer. After 16 seasons (and counting) on @alwayssunny , he debuted in his first starring movie role in #BlackBerry this May
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
1 year
It’s not much but it’s honest work - lets have a weekend ladies and gentlemen.
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
1 year
It’s Friday afternoon and I need a slice of pizza and an old fashion asap
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
8 months
@shane_riordan I want it on the record, I saw your tweet then I immediately googled this service and sent my group chat and said “I have our next boys day idea” so
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
1 year
#Top5FavoriteThings @babyjooj 1. Someone genuinely loving the recommendation you gave them 2. A Well Curated Wine Bucket(preferably outdoors) 3. Taking a lap, when arriving to a social gathering 4. Calling everything my #1 rule 5. Poppin’ in for one
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
1 year
Before I take a sip would anyone be offended if I had an airport cocktail?
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
2 years
Hopefully this plays. Wish me luck
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
2 years
Christmas party Friday, the attire is “elegant formal” and what the hell does that even mean.
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
3 years
The T-Mac twos are a elite sneaker
@KicksUnderCost
Kicks Under Cost
3 years
On Sale: adidas T-Mac 2.0 Retro "USA" now $85, retail $130 Click here to order, no code needed-> ad
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
1 year
The guys at this bachelor party I’m at are wild. I woke up at 7:30AM CST to guys already 2 beers deep, it’s going to be a long weekend and I may not survive
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
1 year
I like my air quality like I like my women, prepared to kill me at any time.
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
1 year
@lilydsmith I’m begging other dudes just to be normal. It isn’t hard
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
2 years
BREAKING: Dry January and I have decided to mutually part ways. sources at the scene have confirmed a large glass of rosè has been poured. “I’m Back” (PS let’s go @USMNT 🇺🇸🇺🇸)
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
1 year
Not to be dramatic but the time change has ruined my entire life.
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
2 years
This queen(the dog) has to be put down tomorrow. And I’m very sad about it. That’s all
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
1 year
Life at the lake? = better
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
9 months
I start my new job Monday so this week I’ve decided is my personal rumspringa
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
2 years
Doses and mimosas
@KFCradio
KFC Radio
2 years
What song would save you from Vecna?
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
10 months
@madddiexo It’s not that I’m not rooting for you, it’s that Im so invested in rooting for her(the love of my life)
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
1 year
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
1 year
In what world would the person who parked behind me think this is okay? They should be set on fire
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
1 year
Fwiw it’s worth - I read the Nick Offerman memoir a few years back (build your own canoe, one man’s guide to living.) And he seems every bit as good of a dude as his last of us performance
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
3 years
@thetonygill Trading for DeShaun would *BE* the apology lol
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
2 years
A few days ago buddy asked me if his mom could use one of my songs for her tictok and said sure thinking it would get like 20 views, but apparently it’s going off and people are asking for the full song link. So I’ll remember you when I’ve made it
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
1 year
HER BOYFRIEND, HE DONT KNOW,ANYTHING ABOUT HER! HES TOO STONED, NINTENDO
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
3 years
A girl from Ohio tried to tell me “wicker park isn’t really Chicago” last weekend and I’m still shook
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
1 year
Life Tip: one thing I do every year around this time is start making a check list of things I want to do when it starts getting nice out. That when I free day or nothing going on, I go to the list and knock something off it.
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
9 months
Pizza and bourbon Fridays. Lets ride
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
9 months
Fall of Mikey fr.
@nypost
New York Post
9 months
McDonald’s is giving out free fries every Friday for the rest of the year — here’s how to get them
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
6 months
main character stole the show
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@Seaspringslayy
b.🪸
6 months
main character stole the show
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
2 years
Today counts as a summer Friday right? It feels like a summer Friday. Might log of a lil early, for laughs, as a a bit.
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
1 year
Pizza Party Friday nights! And some angels envy to top it off. Hope everyone has one hell of a Friday night! I’m also hearing the bears fleeced the panthers? Is that true?
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
2 years
🥰🥰
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
3 years
Don’t mind me, enjoying my first aperol spritz of the summer. Elite cocktail
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
5 months
These will fix me. I’m sure of it
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
5 months
Today seems like an excellent wing day to me
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
11 months
@keelsonwheels14 Yeah, not on your at all. Some people are just hopeless
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
1 year
For science
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
2 years
Confession: I’ve watched new girl before bed like every night for the better part of 5 years.
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
8 months
So back
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
2 years
“Sweet tooth” is too cute of a word to describe what i have.
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
1 year
7 am Sunday hot boy walks are undefeated strictly because the walk of shames/Uber drop offs you encounter.
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
11 months
Announcement: I have started to update my fall playlist and I think the additions made might make it even better then last year. Stay tuned.
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
1 year
Summer of mikey’
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
2 years
Happy holidays
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
1 year
Is it just me or do all the streaming services suck now? Literally all of them are overpriced and watered down with trash content
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
1 year
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
2 years
My entire timeline is people making fun of Aaron Rodgers, and this is good, I like it. Keep it up
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
1 year
@FifiDoYouLoveMe 3-5 sips of a full calorie Mountain Dew code red
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
3 years
My office scheduled a happy hour on a Monday and that should be pre-crime.
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
3 years
No idea how this picture of me looking Handsome and brooding got on the TL - trying to delete
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
11 months
Car wash and oil change all before 9am and I fear I’m becoming my father
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
1 year
I bought a wine glass that is just the bottom of a high life bottle.
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
2 years
I get to hear John Mayer play guitar in person tonight and while that might not be everyone’s thing, it’s extremely my thing. So I’m just a lil excited.
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
6 months
@lilydsmith I personally follow you to watch you dunk on Ben Simmons any chance you get.
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
11 months
Cheers’
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
2 years
Pizza party Friday nights!! Who wants a slice and who needs a cocktail?
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
1 year
Me and all my homies when the weather hits above 60 degrees
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
9 months
I just hope everyone is having a good weekend
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
2 years
I hope all the women in my life still have basic fundamental human rights tomorrow.
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
2 years
Fighting for my life inside of the lake forrest oasis
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
1 year
Wing week meets bourbon Fridays! If you’re out celebrating St.Patrick’s day - I hope you’re having a blast. If you’re staying in and watching the tourney, hopefully the bets are hitting: if you’re doing anything else, enjoy the hell out of that too. You won’t find a bad vibe here
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
1 year
Forgot to do bourbon Fridays so we pivot
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
2 years
I have a date tomorrow and she just asked to move from the cozy cool logan square bar we agreed to, to a river north bar her sister bartends at and I can already feel this failing.
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
3 years
When you talk bad about Gray*on All*n and buck fans find it. “Drugged up bad bitch” I consider a compliment tbh
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
1 year
Bourbon Fridays 🤙🫡. This is a Dr. Pepper old fashioned. Cheers!
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
1 year
Been searching for a legit version of this album on vinyl forever and I finally secured it and I’m very happy, cc: @snydaho
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
10 months
🤙👻
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
10 months
I think this is the year I get a tattoo on Friday the 13th
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
3 years
A guy I went to high school with posted to Facebook. “At no point in your rambling, incoherent response…”
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@mikey_007_
Mike (y)
1 year
It’s been a weird week, so I decided my favorite wings will cure all my problems.
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