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murph

@mickmami

19,568
Followers
19
Following
90
Media
6,312
Statuses

certified professional sweetheart

$1 million dm fee
Joined September 2023
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@mickmami
murph
8 months
and what if I said I did it better?
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@mickmami
murph
1 month
that pretty girl you saw on public transport went home and thought about you btw
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@mickmami
murph
3 months
wait you're a single mom with a mixed baby??? how did this grift literally end in less than a week 😭😭
@thelillygaddis
Lilly
4 months
If you’re you’re not getting knocked up you’re a loser
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@mickmami
murph
1 month
serious question: what do single men do on sundays??
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@mickmami
murph
2 months
shaking my head while bouncing on it so he knows I have a boyfriend....
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@mickmami
murph
22 days
i could fix your life.. or ruin it...
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@mickmami
murph
1 month
say whatever you want but the fact that hawk tuah never abandoned her sidekick is actually kinda sweet to me
@HalieyWelchX
Haliey Welch
1 month
Show us all ur memes 👇👇👇
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@mickmami
murph
2 months
they should invent an alcohol that doesn't make you want to bounce on your best friend
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@mickmami
murph
15 days
this is what men turn into after three beers
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@mickmami
murph
12 days
say whatever you want but the fact that hawk tuah is feeding the homeless is actually really wholesome
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@mickmami
murph
3 months
@dillonb0711 check the replies
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@mickmami
murph
2 months
why do men go quiet after the third beer???
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@mickmami
murph
13 days
this could fix you btw
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@mickmami
murph
1 month
that pretty girl at the airport you'll never see again is actually the love of you life btw
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@mickmami
murph
14 days
going to tell a random man he looks cute to invariably change the course of his life
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@mickmami
murph
2 months
your future wife is out there waiting for you to get your shit together btw
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@mickmami
murph
3 months
@MaggieAustenx you deserve better!!
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@mickmami
murph
1 month
who's going to tell all these men their mom has a hoe phase too???
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@mickmami
murph
24 days
going to smile at a random guy to make his day better
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@mickmami
murph
1 month
calling a random guy "good boy" today to invariably change the course of his life
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@mickmami
murph
1 month
sydney sweeney posting thirst traps rn, this is a declaration of war...
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@mickmami
murph
24 days
the sluttiest thing a man can do is asking if you got home safely
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@mickmami
murph
3 months
does anyone need a sydney sweeney body double on their boat today??
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@mickmami
murph
23 days
this is what guys turn into after three beers
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@mickmami
murph
1 month
stop sending this to me...
@TheCinesthetic
cinesthetic.
1 month
sydney sweeney via ig
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@mickmami
murph
13 days
smiling at a man is the single most powerful thing you could do to change the world everyday
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@mickmami
murph
1 month
your future wife is unhappily drinking beer at a party waiting for you to get your shit together
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@mickmami
murph
3 months
@chumblings is it you?
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@mickmami
murph
5 months
@christiansbale what is this even advertising??
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@mickmami
murph
1 month
@p8stieNcloudyRG it's true 🥺
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@mickmami
murph
2 months
@motherquoter @BaharOstadan do you even have a job like?? 😭
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@mickmami
murph
2 months
asking random guys if they're a grower or shower and sighing loudly at whatever they say
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@mickmami
murph
2 months
if a man sleeps before 12am it's an ick, like sleep tight little princess!!
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@mickmami
murph
17 days
men turn 25 and immediately start looking like this
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@mickmami
murph
1 month
a few dry handjobs never hurt a friendship...
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@mickmami
murph
2 months
he was so real for this..
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@mickmami
murph
1 month
dating isn't hard, you're just not shameless enough
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@mickmami
murph
1 month
it doesn't count as a body if nobody finds out btw...
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@mickmami
murph
2 months
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@mickmami
murph
2 months
my brother is mad at me because his friend are asking him embarrassing questions 😭
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@mickmami
murph
1 month
just got hit up by a hollywood agent is this real life???
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@mickmami
murph
1 month
they should invent a boyfriend who doesn't get mad when you have fun
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@mickmami
murph
2 months
this is no longer a flex because of the implications..
@PopCrave
Pop Crave
2 months
Sweden’s Mondo Duplantis breaks the Pole Vault world record, clearing 6.25m at the #Olympics to win Gold.
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@mickmami
murph
22 days
tall men have been spoiled by society, the men who treat you best are probably like 5'7"
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@mickmami
murph
26 days
your future wife is going to look really pretty at the club tonight btw
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@mickmami
murph
2 months
PSA: it doesn't count as a body if he lasts less than ten minutes btw
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@mickmami
murph
25 days
stop sending this to me
@popsvibe
pop vibes
27 days
Sydney Sweeney in Euphoria
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@mickmami
murph
2 months
what's a few bounces between friends?
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@mickmami
murph
24 days
the fact that Hawk Tuah is probably on a north korean hitlist rn is so funny
@HalieyWelchX
Haliey Welch
24 days
Thx Korea! I had so much fun 🫶
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@mickmami
murph
13 days
I love how animals have a way of saying "don't go" and it involves sleeping against you 🥹
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@mickmami
murph
13 days
this is what men turn into when you call them a good boy
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@mickmami
murph
1 month
the love of your life is getting ready for her minimum wage job rn waiting for you to get your shit together....
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@mickmami
murph
2 months
how it feels to change your own oil
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@mickmami
murph
2 months
will be working on a car today, add mechanic to my list of talents..
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@mickmami
murph
1 month
what happened to saying hi??
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@mickmami
murph
21 days
your future wife is waking up and wondering why you aren't next to her btw..
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@mickmami
murph
1 month
just found out my dad might be following me what do I do now 😫
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@mickmami
murph
22 days
we've evolved beyond the need for a Jack Black as a society
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@mickmami
murph
2 months
saw a skinny guy at the gym. immediately locked eyes with him, tightened my glutes and proceeded to squat his entire body weight until he left.
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@mickmami
murph
14 days
life becomes so beautiful when you exceed the daily recommended intake of caffeine
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@mickmami
murph
1 month
it's so insulting when a guy walks by you and doesn't even turn his head around, like who do you think you are??? 🙄
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@mickmami
murph
2 months
asked my dad if he still thinks about his childhood crush and he immediately got the thousand yard stare
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@mickmami
murph
1 month
what if I told you that girl from high school you had a crush on is thinking about you rn?
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@mickmami
murph
1 month
this is a safe space for short kings (under 6') and I LOVE all of you!!
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@mickmami
murph
27 days
the love of your life is probably waking up rn and yearning for you btw
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@mickmami
murph
1 month
beginning to realize we might be related
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@mickmami
murph
19 days
going to call a random man "sweetie" today to change the course of his life
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@mickmami
murph
2 months
the feminine urge to brick him up and do nothing about it...
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@mickmami
murph
12 days
say no more
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@sorkincel
flargo
12 days
I respect that virginia is for lovers but we need a state for haters
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@mickmami
murph
2 months
the single most attractive thing a guy can do is just being insanely chill
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@mickmami
murph
4 months
it's worse because they used to be gym buddies but they've been weirdly distant recently. I don't care at all though.
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