Matt Lipton @mattliptoncomic Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

@bubblegumshaneX

@remindeir

@camistromboli

@KAA_Intrepidus

@ekslcodus

@PetterSalazar2

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@JohnJoh17342691

@DweEdwards

@robloxdragrace

@mlky15x

@thifannnny

@cjbk01

@christian68686

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@KisekiLynx

@k0mpafps

@CopbkkRTP

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@maby67492701

@C_Mulroney

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@AckerWealthMgmt

@AmyMek

@threearrowsch

@abn_yaf

@Noxcho99

@dallingr

@iccr_tashkent

Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

5 years

Never forget the greatest Ben Shapiro takedown video already exists

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

7 years

People say "I miss Obama" -- that's not saying much. "I miss George W. Bush" -- that's saying a lot.

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

7 years

Delete. Your. Account.

Tomi Lahren

@TomiLahren

7 years

Build. That. Wall.

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

6 years

BREAKING: Local man turns hollow gesture into a trip to the hospital. Thanks Obama! #NikeBoycott

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

7 years

BREAKING: Carrie Fisher parties and is judging you from heaven

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

2 years

The Warrior Nun fan base is the only fan base I believe will cancel their Netflix subscription when they say they will #SaveWarriorNun

mónica

@juliettespuppy

2 years

warrior nun has an amazing story, with really good character developments, incredible visuals and a beautiful love between two girls, i’m not forgiving netflix never #SaveWarriorNun

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

7 years

Not saying Hurricane Irma is God's punishment for Ann Coulter, but it seems more plausible than "denying climate change" #hurricaneirma2017

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

1 year

Ben Shapiro trends, this video must trend. I don’t make the rules.

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

1 year

James Earl Jones is trending. Can Twitter please mark people who trend & haven’t died as “safe” or something?! We gotta do this every time? 😂

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

7 years

Remember when we were all like "Bush is the dumbest ever" yeaaahhh… #SolarEclipise2017

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

1 year

Seriously, wtf is x? This shit looks like I have a porn app on my phone now.

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

6 months

@MikeSington The mysterious disembodied white hand no one seems to notice is the third creepiest thing in this photo

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

5 years

Yes, I have content to promote - but it would be A SHAME if my tweet got more RT & Likes than Poopie Pants (because there is NO WAY I could get more comments 😭😂😂)

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

8 months

@BlackKnight10k Hahaha of course the “protect children” crowd suddenly loses their venom when their guy is a predator

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

2 years

If Warrior Nun remains canceled, I will have no choice but to renew my pitch for a Sword & Sorcerer romcom series entitled “Sword Lesbians” #SaveWarriorNun

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

7 years

BREAKING: Real-life "Janice the Muppet" impersonator Tomi Lahren joins Fox News to host yet-to-be-named overtly racist children's program.

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

7 years

Susan B. Anthony so hard, they put her face on a coin instead of a bill, because paper's too soft.

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

1 year

@mattxiv “I’m an adult baby” Joe Rogen: “mmmm adult baby” She wins

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

1 year

@bennyjohnson Wait. I missed when these sons of Liberty a boarded commercial vessels and dump them into a harbor. As I understood it, these brave heroes went to a store and politely purchased their boxes of beer to shoot with a gun for a TikTok

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

7 years

I do not like his Orange tan I do not like his Bannon-man I would not like him as a Pope Because he is a f***ing Dope #DrSeuss #WorldBookDay

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

7 years

Nothing says "I love you" like a distant handshake and the gesture to "go stand over there"

Caitriona Perry

@CaitrionaPerry

7 years

The US First Lady introduces her husband on stage at an event at Joint Base Andrews. He thanks her with a handshake.

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

7 years

BREAKING: George W. Bush comes out of retirement to fill the presidential void. UP NEXT: League of Extraordinary Gentlemen ACTIVATE!!!

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

5 years

BREAKING: USPS releases first stamp of President Trump #TuesdayThoughts #TuesdayMotivation #TuesdayMorning #TheInvestigation

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

1 year

Steve Crowder TL;DR is getting a divorce. Not his choice, his wife wants a divorce “But in the State of Texas, that’s allowed…” - he says. Allowed?! Can’t imagine why his wife wants a divorce 😂

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

8 years

"I'm not ranting and raving" is like yelling "I'm not hysterical! You're hysterical!" when you're being hysterical. #TrumpPressConference

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

6 months

@MikeSington “KEEKK A WHnn”

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

6 months

@theliamnissan …. they actually look better somehow

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

1 year

@JasonSCampbell Matt Walsh constantly conflates having an existential crisis out loud with well thought out arguments & reasonable debate

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

6 years

It’s a very telling problem when Ted Nugent, Laura Ingraham, Frank Stallone and the whole of the MAGA crowd have more hatred and animosity directed at David Hogg for seeking gun reform than a killer like Nikolas Cruz (who is getting piles of fan mail).

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

7 years

If SNL doesn't have Melissa McCarthy continue to play Sean Spicer, despite Anthony Scaramucci, the terrorists win...

Charlotte Clymer 🇺🇦

@cmclymer

7 years

If SNL doesn't have Melissa McCarthy play Anthony Scaramucci, too, they clearly don't know the opportunity they're missing here.

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

7 years

President Obama: "Everyday, I wake up to news of Trump playing golf and making kissy-faces with Russia. Happy Birthday my a..." #ObamaDay

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

5 years

BREAKING: Trump rewards himself with postage stamp for handling of Iran situation

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

9 months

@MikeSington “I’m Gerry Turner & I install hot tubs” is a very different show

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

7 years

Trump calls #Manchester terrorists "evil losers in life" - confirming that Trump cannot, or ever will, be presidential.

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

7 years

List of US Presidents who have bankrupt the Secret Service: Donald Trump [end of list]

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

5 years

Bill Clinton was impeached for lying about a blowjob. Donald Trump lied about blowing an entire foreign government, getting peed on by foreign prostitutes & entangled in foreign money. But Bill Clinton was impeached for lying about a blowjob... #ImpeachTrump #ImpeachmentNOW

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

7 years

@realDonaldTrump @alisonbrie @GlowNetflix "I too dream of riding horse behind *real* man"

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

1 year

That’s Karen Allen. I recognized her immediately.

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

7 years

Donald Trump is so painfully beyond human decency, no amount of spin-doctoring by Sarah Huckabee Sanders or a 4-Star General can fix it.

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

7 years

Sarah Huckabee Sanders reminds me of a kindergarten teacher who all the children hate, because she openly hates children...

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

5 years

Oops?!?

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

7 years

Sarah Huckabee Sanders looks like your brother's ex-wife, who shows up at the funeral out of spite -- just to make everybody else miserable.

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

7 years

@realDonaldTrump . @alisonbrie Russian accent from @GlowNetflix : So... you want to play meme game, Mr. Do-nald...

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

7 years

You know you fucked up when the people unable to hear you speak make fun of you.

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

5 years

Dear Matt: The Kansas City Chiefs are from Kansas City, Missouri. It’s laughable watching you guys cry yourselves to sleep while desperately trying to spin this.

Matt Schlapp

@mschlapp

5 years

Dear East coast establishment: Kansas City, Kansas is in Kansas.

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

1 year

This is by far one of the best example of how painfully sad Tim Pool is at debate, argument or how little skill he has at interviewing, despite doing it professionally.

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

5 years

OMG!!! They did it AGAIN!!! BREAKING: Her Majesty’s Guard plays Imperial March as President Trump inspects the guard with members of the Royal Family at Buckingham Palace #TrumpUKVisit #TrumpNotWelcome

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

7 years

In Trump's 7 months in office, he accomplished something beyond Obama's wildest dreams: To have Confederate monuments come down nationwide

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

7 years

Sean Spicer: "Look! Donald Trump plays a #VeryLimitedRole in policy decision. Is it twitter? Is it golf? If not, it goes to Bannon. Period."

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

1 year

Steven Crowder has lost 40,000 subs in 6 days.

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

7 years

Thank you for flying United Airlines! If this is your first time flying with us, you HAVE to fight. #United

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

7 years

BREAKING: NTY confirms Donald Trump Jr. is "the Fredo" of the Trump Crime family. "I can handle things! I'm shmaaart!"

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

5 years

@MlatkovicMark “Out of Context” doesn’t mean what you think it means. It’s not a catch all defense for someone making fun of the words that come out of your mouth. There is no context where the words spoken somehow make sense and aren’t laughable.

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

7 years

Girl Puncher at Berkeley possibly identified as NATHAN DAMIGO, pal of Richard Spencer.

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

7 years

"I know words, I have the best words. I have the best, but there is no better word than stupid.” -- Donald Trump, total #heel

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

5 years

I can’t wait to see Ben Shapiro when his career as a professional liar is over...

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

6 years

BREAKING: Chelsea Clinton, Queen of Darkness and Master of all that is Evil... said something to someone somewhere... I don’t know. We weren’t really listening. But yeah, fire, brim stone, witchcraft, pizza... really bad, bad things. Really bad. But don’t actual read her speech.

Chelsea Clinton

@ChelseaClinton

6 years

Sigh. @Newsweek , I didn’t make a causal statement. To @twitter paraphrase, I said the rise of women working from the 1970s on is not disconnected from reproductive rights/ the ability to make choices about when to have children. More on this dynamic today:

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

7 years

After the comments of Alex Jones, Sarah Sanders, Bill O'Reilly and The NRA - I am formally requesting #280characters

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

7 years

If Judge Jeanine Pirro likes Trump so much, maybe she'll represent Boris Epshteyn and Michael Flynn on treason charges pro bono?

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

7 years

BREAKING: Steve Bannon removed from National Security Council UP NEXT: Rick Perry named as Secretary of Corn Dogs

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

7 years

Andrew Anglin of Daily Stormer, folks! He's 5'2" 140lbs of... WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH YOUR BEDROOM! What's with all the dolls, man!!!

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

6 months

@RealMartyT7 @EileenQuirke4 It’s extremely telling that a certain portion of this country has forgotten the reason why planes aren’t allowed to fly near a stadium during a major sporting event after 9/11

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

7 years

Kellyanne Conway looks like a Las Vegas lounge lizard that got hit in the face with an ashtray.

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

7 years

Feuding w/ The President: Collin Kaepernick LeBron James The Deaf Transgenders in military FBI NYT CNN Witches Stephen King George W. Bush

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

7 years

People Organizing Against Trump: Black People Muslims Immigrants Woman LGBTQ Witches... wait what?!? #bindtrump

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

8 years

I do not like his Orange tan I do not like his Bannon-man I would not like him as a Pope Because he is a f***ing Dope #PresidentialNursery

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

7 years

Someone told her "to dress appropriately" because she was going to "The Danger Zone" Melania misunderstood. #FLOTUS

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

7 years

Pretty much sums up Donald Trump's response to his $25 MILLION law suit settlement for Trump University fraud case:

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

1 year

@MiddleearthMixr

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

7 years

Because of Louise Linton, #hermesscarf will be the new "Let them eat cake"

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

5 years

This tweet just surpassed @KaitMarieox original tweet in both RTs & Likes. I’d like to thank everyone who made this moment possible. I’m available for interview if Gun Girl would like to debate her politics.

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

6 years

Shoutout to Kellyanne Conway for #BatAppreciationDay

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

5 years

“Nobody Disobey My Orders” is something Cobra Commander would yell after right after someone disobeyed his orders, which was literally all the time. #ImpeachDonaldTrump

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

1 year

I’m honor of rage against the machine getting inducted into the hall of fame, here they are on live bbc where they promise not to swear.

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

7 years

BREAKING: Trump calls UN General Assembly freeloaders, rambles about climate change, mispronounces NK, then 15mins of bing-bong noises #UNGA

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

5 years

can’t believe they did this to trump

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

7 years

LIVE FOOTAGE: Steve Bannon being removed from The National Security Council

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

6 months

@yashar Like a normal person?

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

5 years

As we say goodbye to Sarah Sanders, let’s remember the time she read to the children for Easter the way a person who hates children does and puts absolutely zero effort in trying to hide it...

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

5 years

@MlatkovicMark Again “out of context” doesn’t mean what you think it does. “I think Jenny is dumb” is out of context if what I *really* said was “Mike said I think Jenny is dumb” So if the clip doesn’t change the context of what he is saying, it’s in context.

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

7 years

BREAKING: Ann Coulter, female Skeletor, fails once more in her attempt to take Castle Grayskull

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

7 years

Melania Trump: "Do-nald very concerned with the bully of cyber. He say, Melania you go speak, no look on Tvitter. Do as I say not do as do"

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

5 years

@MlatkovicMark No. I mean context. It has a definition. You should look it up and learn how to speak and engage with words correctly.

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

15 days

@MikeSington Trump is 2 tattoos away from having a cult family

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

7 years

Whenever Donald Trump speaks, it's worded like it was translated from Russian by Russians.

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

7 years

@realDonaldTrump @alisonbrie @GlowNetflix "Willy Wonka and Oompah Loompa are very fun words to say in Russian Accent"

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

7 months

The key distinction for all the MAGAs with critical thinking issues #BidenExonerated

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

10 months

I don’t know? Why did Bill Burr’s wife make all those MAGA nuts so mad. I can’t put my fingers on it. It’s a mystery.

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Matt Lipton

@mattliptoncomic

5 years

BREAKING: Giant Babyman complains women laugh at him on dating sites because he’s 5’0, picks fight with normal sized man. If anyone knows who this is, I would like to interview him.