kermelbar @kermelbar Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

@barcjenn

@MJumeh

@PardedeReza666

@jijify

@CasseiiM

@FaithLeppe17850

@stwmaniax

@bokeplokalmalam

@ajnate

@ArnArmstro

@DominoEducation

@enterprisecares

@NCIsysbio

@daretorant

@JustIndieCisive

@ADEFEMIWA183403

@theflynews

@Finora_AI

@samcocotera

@UConnLCIZ

@penyukastw21

@bokeplokalmalam

@janway_yt

@AaronPlimp23438

@jandakembangstw

@CrazyDefenseEN

@iLLeYYY

@stw_pdg

@oCVDU0d2EQXWuXg

@MartinDick90201

@SnagAJobCEO

@Natu__0804

@XDCTradeNetwork

@felicia_ba96017

@savid_at

kermelbar

@kermelbar

3 years

@zachsilberberg Apparently none of y’all have been scarred by having all of your whites turned pink by just one red sock.

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@kermelbar

4 months

@chel_c_cam The same is true for music. Everyone listened to the same thing in the car, and that selection was usually controlled by the adults. And far fewer methods of exposure, esp for those in rural areas that didn’t have a massive # of radio stations.

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@kermelbar

3 years

@torriangray It takes a special kind of stupid to prep without a manual can opener.

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@kermelbar

1 year

@davidmackau I remember (IIRC) Beyoncé reminding Oprah that Oprah had given this advice (or expressed this regret) and B had specifically applied it to her marriage and O was like, “Great for you! But, damn, I have questions to ask!”

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@kermelbar

3 years

@Dave_Horwitz “COVID or it was 70 two days ago and dropped to 30 with rain yesterday?”

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@kermelbar

2 years

@SaraAnnedipity @Tom_TsMyth @MediocreDave Have you met men?

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@kermelbar

2 years

@Susannah2k @sharpegirl I found it in an article collecting online remembrances.

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@kermelbar

2 years

@perfectsweeties My parents. Cat randomly showed up on their porch. They were in the country so it’s not like it was a roaming neighborhood cat. Apparently got dropped off near a neighbor’s and their cats ran him off. My dad adored him every day of his life. They are together again. 🌈

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@kermelbar

1 year

@mattxiv I am outraged … that he found thigh highs that stay up on meaty thighs.

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@kermelbar

5 months

@arismonet Theo James

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@kermelbar

24 days

@caroldenvrs The muffled sound is amazing. Also, her: “I’m not a dancer.” On-set dance challenges show otherwise!

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@kermelbar

1 year

@ask_aubry “Is well trained at taking orders.” Sir, this is a Mexican restaurant, not FetLife.

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@kermelbar

11 months

@VanessaVeasley The lifting out of the water BLEW MY MIND.

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@kermelbar

1 year

@marliejay_ @allieiswriting Only getting paid during flight hours is the most bonkers thing to me. I believe you — I’ve read it before — but so crazy that y’all don’t get paid for the WORK you do related to the flight. Hell, I clock in at the grocery store if I’m picking up snacks for the office!

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@kermelbar

3 years

@lexilafleur I don’t think this tops the chair, but this showed up in my FB ads one day. I don’t ski, but from what I understand about snow reflection, this is a really terrible idea.

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@kermelbar

2 years

@BrandyLJensen My dachshund got kicked out of her first home bc she’d been the baby for 7 years & they got 2 bulldogs that she never warmed up to. She absolutely holds a grudge, tries to start shit w/ any bulldog-resembling dog. Me: It’s not going home with us! Her: You’re damn right it’s not!

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@kermelbar

2 years

@Leahreyrey @jamieloftusHELP “You’re on the right track”! 😂😂💀💀💀💀

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@kermelbar

2 years

@minssmint @mattxiv A friend’s SIL didn’t want her baby/toddler wearing shirts with cartoon characters bc it’s “f*ggy.” Y’all, I don’t even know. 🤦‍♀️ And I think this is something you should disclose to your partner so they can run like the damn wind before procreating with you.

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@kermelbar

2 years

@bren_not_bran @LukeWMiller @the_transit_guy Plus, you can walk around! There’s possibly a dining car. I believe there is generally more elbow/leg/head room. I would be glad to have the option of train over plane!

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@kermelbar

2 years

@SMyer15 @svershbow The first few months of COVID, before rules adjusted to allow for outdoor dining, were hard because every meal, every snack, was at home … with these eyeballs on me. 😎

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@kermelbar

1 year

@dog_rates @m_ebrard Wishing the good boys and girls, and their handlers, a safe mission. I know they won’t always be successful 😔 but I hope every pair/team has successes to celebrate.

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@kermelbar

2 years

@KariLaughs @maureenjohnson Every day, I tell this little girl — re-homed to me 3 years ago, at 9yo — how lucky we are to have found each other. She is a blessing, and her first family totally missed out.

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@kermelbar

3 months

@SteamboatUSA The pilot’s campaigning for high-speed rail.

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@kermelbar

6 years

@jymmycrackcorn @chrissyteigen @PraxisKenzie And at least Belle got to know Beast! Ariel *saw* a guy and decided, “No more sea for me!”

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@kermelbar

2 years

@DatasBestFriend @courtneymilan Or just the gatekeeping of exercising! Thins: “Oh, the Fats should get more exercise!” Fats: *(try to) get more exercise* Thins: *makes exercise space uncomfortable for Fats* 🤯

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@kermelbar

2 years

@JonathanQuist @aubreyhirsch Disclaimer: I am not a parent. I have known a few parents who said, “If the second had been first, there might not have been a second.” So you are not the first parent to be tricked by Kid 1, if that’s any comfort.

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@kermelbar

5 years

@DarlaShine Would you like to try a delicious asbestos-and-lead paint lollipop?

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@kermelbar

3 years

@wickettred Eckerd has not existed since 2007.

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@kermelbar

1 year

@ask_aubry I’m not saying I’m available to help bury a body. But I’m not saying I’m NOT available, either.

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@kermelbar

1 year

@ask_aubry Launch them DIRECTLY into the sun.

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@kermelbar

3 years

@DNY892 @girlsreallyrule My closest Dairy Queen does pup cups. 😁

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@kermelbar

7 years

@the_mcnabber @polyestercarrot @aisling206 @MickEgan3 @newtgingrich I love the Clippy one, too.

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@kermelbar

2 years

@mollyknefel He’s not immortal. There will come a better high.

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@kermelbar

6 months

@lovelltrin I also think about that ep in his Netflix series where he had an emotional experience over pasta because he’d denied (been denied) carbs for so long, to have the Baywatch et al body.

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@kermelbar

2 years

@ask_aubry I just need to know … When wife and kids are doing Christmas, what is he doing? Hiding in his man cave? Does he eat Saltines and drink tap water while they eat the Christmas feast? Bc I bet this AH has definitely benefited from holidays while not contributing.

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@kermelbar

2 years

@Paynen_Sahrow @hi_im_toy 2001, played VM tag with parents after a vacay. Finally get Dad on phone. Me: “You ok?” Him: “Yeah, why?” Me: “Oh, something about your voice in the vm seemed off.” Later in the call, he finally told me he had prostate cancer.

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@kermelbar

2 years

@Unmikely @CAwkward There were 2 young attorneys at my old job who apparently went thru admins like crazy. (Was b4 I worked there.) Word was that managing partner told the lawyers something like: “I’ve had the same admin for 20yrs. Next admin leaves, one of you leaves, too.”

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@kermelbar

1 year

@ask_aubry The police are far from perfect, but I’d sure as hell be calling them (unless this was expected, like cancer).

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@kermelbar

3 years

@OMacMan @summerbrennan Of course a man didn’t figure out by the “tone” of the question that it was the woman on the call *and* doing childcare. I’d bet 99.9% of women knew it without even reading the article.

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@kermelbar

5 years

@dog_feelings I took Ginger to meet Santa for the first time today.

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@kermelbar

2 years

@BeeBabs And the citizens don’t realize this tradition is effing bonkers, that no one owes them this?!

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@kermelbar

2 years

@Bogusfan @itsnashflynn I’m now imagining some great family back story on this. Some ne’er-do-well ancestor needed to change his identity. Overhears “that’s a bogus last name!” and he thinks, “Ah-ha! Bogus! Perfect!”

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@kermelbar

3 years

@SaraCivian One good thing that came out of those not-so-good years is this pic.

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@kermelbar

7 years

@EMainze @PBarnat @liteness1 @AcKansas @pethardxo @tariqnasheed When Repubs try to get huffy about a "stolen seat" on a plane but excuse that SCOTUS seat stolen from Garland Merrick. 🙄

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@kermelbar

1 year

@IDontSpeakWhine Knew a lady whose dad gave her a Bible when she went to college. Her: *calls for money* (this was prob 50 years ago) Him: Been reading Bible? Her: Yes, Daddy! Him: *sends money* He eventually revealed the Bible was full of cash. Whoops!

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@kermelbar

3 years

@DouglasEmhoff @ALT_DOJ @KamalaHarris @CBSSunday There was more genuine warmth and joy in this segment (KH and KH+DE) than we’ve seen from the two “top” couples, combined, over the last 4 years. What a lovely start to the day and this week.

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@kermelbar

4 years

@MShrayber I had a pair of Michael Kors jeans that bled blue FOREVER. Those dark wash jeans, man. Btw, a warning: If you have a habit of tucking your hands between or under your (seated) legs when cold, your hands will also turn blue.

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@kermelbar

7 years

@sealy_south @SouthernLady328 @piperang @AL_NorCal @AnnAllison1954 @Larry_Sombrero @MaxineWaters Anyone who thinks Obama separated this country into two races either wasn't paying attention before or denies their own racism. 1/2

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@kermelbar

4 years

@Chasten As a straight, middle-aged white woman, who grew up in a 99.99% white community, it delights me to see the growing representation and diversity — LGBTQ+ characters/couples, interracial couples, POC leads, etc.

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@kermelbar

2 years

@chelsea_davison Originally from WV, have lived in Raleigh, NC, for 23 years. People at my 20th HS reunion were GRANDPARENTS. 9 years later, closing in on 47, I still do not feel old enough to have kids. 🙃

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@kermelbar

3 years

@s_elizabeth354 @deapoirierbooks “I have most of the neighbors over for an eggplant parm dinner in the fall. Speaking of the nightshade family, problem neighbors get ... .”

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@kermelbar

6 years

@KateVDaniels @The_UnSilent_ I’d suggest a tightly tied plastic bag. That should really keep the water out.

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@kermelbar

10 months

@brownandbella IMO, it’s not even the safety (which IS a concern) — it’s the effing logistics of even just a few dozen kids doing it. I have zero skin in this game, but no school staff has time for this.

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@kermelbar

4 years

@oureric @LadyHawkins Every time I look at the pic of them from last week, with the umbrella, my heart grows 10 sizes.

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@kermelbar

2 years

@jack_ww1 @TanyaKeith *She* *owns* the construction company he worked for. And he said *women* aren’t fit for *leadership*. If he couldn’t figure out that his woman boss = woman in leadership, he got the education he earned.

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@kermelbar

2 years

@ShakingSheetss @lovedoveclarke College roommate had a falling out w/ her mom in HS. Moved in w/ grandma for a while. Mom found the journal she left. Made copies of “sex w/ bf” pages and gave them to family/fellow church members. 😮 So incredibly fucked up.

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@kermelbar

7 years

@carlosparis75 @JHDargie @alexking_t @peplamb

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@kermelbar

4 years

@lordpaluzzi @LizHackett 😂 This reminds me of the friend’s mom who started to name her dog Heath but then didn’t bc of “that gay cowboy movie.” (In all fairness, she was divorced bc her husband was gay, so some understandable resentment.) She named the dog ... Jake.

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@kermelbar

4 years

@TrevDon Popcorn, which I’m currently sharing with this cute girl:

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@kermelbar

5 months

@megmurphywrites My late dad: “Just clear your mind, girls, just clear your mind.” Mom: 😡

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@kermelbar

2 years

@ameliaelizalde And why was the buckle in the middle?! Like, why were those buttons not toward the front where they would have been easier to snap?! Signed, a long-waisted woman who made bad fashion decisions (and then went drinking 😫) in college

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@kermelbar

5 years

@thedailybeast To the author of the blurb: If you were the 14yo boy, you wouldn’t call it “having sex with.” The law doesn’t call it that, either. This really isn’t that difficult to word correctly.

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@kermelbar

4 years

@ConnieSchultz Ginger Snap sends our best wishes for safe travels, kicking of asses and taking of names.

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@kermelbar

2 years

@Teachndiva99 @Dreadful4Tymes So I’m a middle-aged white lady. I was at Waffle House last week and my server — a Black guy, *early* 20s I’d guess — said “cool beans” and “no problemo” to me and I don’t know if he’s an old soul or if I was being profiled. 😆👵🏻👵🏻

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@kermelbar

3 years

@HDriscoll10 I’ve been saying for days that I’d put money on “no extradition to US” being on some Laundrie’s Google history.

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@kermelbar

1 year

@YourAuntieJD You may also be interested n @JQDsalt — “Our brine is naturally sourced from an ancient, untouched sea called the Iapetus Ocean (predating the Atlantic) trapped below the Appalachian mountains.” (Outside Charleston, WV.)

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@kermelbar

2 years

@FarrahRochon “I couldn’t relate to them.” But I bet they related to a magical snowman, an orphaned dear, a mermaid … 🙄

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@kermelbar

6 years

@CNN I believe fruits, vegetables and water are halal *and* kosher. Sure hope they stay away from those items, too!

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@kermelbar

5 years

@Rishabh_Tayal @everywhereist IoDW: And the indented bottoms of bowls and mugs. Oh, and your plastic stuff (a la Tupperware), when you flip them over, a not-small amount of water will be in the lid rim.

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@kermelbar

7 years

@GeeJustG @TornadoesBoreMe @amytgr @StresingCathy @Impeach_D_Trump @HillaryClinton And the man who couldn't find his limo when it was at the bottom of the plane stairs, as I imagine it is every other time he deplanes.

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@kermelbar

4 years

@waitingforhome8 @maggieofthetown @JustaBlondeMama I was an only child (girl) in the country — my Barbies Rosé around in my Tonka trucks and went on dates with He-Man. As an adult, my house has a sewing machine and a circular saw.

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@kermelbar

2 years

@dog_rates Muffin’s mom: “Swim!” Muffin: “What the hecc you think I doin’?!”

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@kermelbar

5 months

@GoToBedRory Slap the receipt against the window like

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@kermelbar

2 months

@Nettaaaaaaaa Lady backed into me, despite my honking to alert her. (I was stuck in traffic, she was backing out of a parking space.) She did not want to involve insurance and was pissed I wouldn’t cooperate. Me: “I have to look out for me & I’m sorry if that upsets you.”

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@kermelbar

6 months

@NBCNews Christian/controlling men keep trying to do away with no-fault divorce and a lot more may find themselves getting served from the Blanche Taylor Moore cookbook.

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@kermelbar

1 month

@KStar_VFA @ask_aubry “Even with two other children, I’ve managed to continue running 50 miles a week.” Gosh, I wonder how he “managed”? 🤔

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@kermelbar

6 years

I know I won’t be as cute as Steve, but I couldn’t not get it, right, @Otter_News ?

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@kermelbar

5 years

@killianhbates @skrutskie 106M is my fave part of this 🤣😂

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@kermelbar

1 year

@ask_aubry I hope the wife sees the post, recognizes her situation and DTMFA.

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@kermelbar

3 years

@HelenBerry8 @dog_rates This judge concurs.

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@kermelbar

2 years

@QuitaBnStuff @CerromeRussell Technically wascally wabbits, I think.

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@kermelbar

9 months

@910ashhh @feminterrupted Ha! Small world! (Given the globalness of Twitter/internet.) Good luck on getting a variety of nose art on your windows! 😀 I'm glad it's an option — gives people a way to the vet if they don't/can't drive, opening up pet companionship to those without cars in car-centric areas.

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@kermelbar

4 years

In honor of what would have been his 74th birthday, I’d like to nominate my dad as a #historicalhottie for @WhoresofYore This was his HS senior pic, in ‘64. He worked in oil & gas his whole life and was a jack of all trades. He is missed by many.

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@kermelbar

5 years

@DrJillStein Well, you would be an expert on lying. I hope to see the karma you earned by lying to people about a recount.

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@kermelbar

2 years

@BrandyLJensen One of the most vindicated moments of my life: “Scientists have mapped the human genome, including the gene that makes someone a super-taster for bitter.” Me: 💡🙋‍♀️ But it’s far less known than cilantro/soap so no one wants to believe how godawful that IPA or coffee is.

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@kermelbar

2 years

@sapphicshake @BrandyLJensen It was complicated by a grandmother w/ Alzheimer’s in the home — she’d get agitated when Ginger would get aggressive w/ the bulldogs. Plus she came to me at 1st ann’y of my dad’s death, so good for my heart. TERRIBLE big sister, FANTASTIC only kid, living her best life.

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@kermelbar

2 years

@CommentGemini @AlisaValdesRod1 @highbrow_nobrow Well, we found the dad’s current wife.

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@kermelbar

7 years

@sealy_south @SouthernLady328 @piperang @AL_NorCal @AnnAllison1954 @Larry_Sombrero @MaxineWaters Because what "O divided races" usually means is, "I'm still pissed some uppity black man had the audacity to run for president." 2/2

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@kermelbar

1 year

@understatesmen Do they have medical personnel on standby?

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@kermelbar

7 years

@vvriah @YouSoPunny @kratomsizemore @DismalChips I put vanilla ice cream in my hot chocolate instead of marshmallows or whipped cream. Cools it down to drinking temp and makes it creamier.

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@kermelbar

5 years

@Archaeologuy Come get your geese first.

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@kermelbar

2 years

@calebsaysthings If there’s a lot of blue cheese dressing or hummus nearby, I’m fine. If I’m eating them straight, send help.

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@kermelbar

6 years

@aspiringwrite12 @Drrramina If Max Max ran into Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.

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@kermelbar

4 years

@dog_rates And it looks like he got a new car for his birthday! Swanky! Happy bday from me and Ginger, Moose! (She can give directions to the frozen custard shop, for bday pup cups.)

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@kermelbar

6 years

@lindsaystone87 @bravegirl01 @QueenMary2970 @HermioneIsHere @MollyJongFast I found out on a moonshine distillery tour how much my dad knew about making it. 😮 When he was a kid, he helped his dad make it. 🥃

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@kermelbar

2 years

@DrJessieAllan I had eye surgery when I was 10 or 11 and had a Cabbage Patch Kid with me. They put a mask and hair cover on him, too.

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@kermelbar

2 months

@drowsygeek Aside from the obvious red flags, I suspect this is a situation where MIL will eventually sneak shellfish into food to prove it’s not a real allergy. (Just Google “mil sneaks food allergy.”)

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@kermelbar

2 years

@andyhickner @tressiemcphd I have absolutely told a vet it was my dog’s grandpa’s fault and offered to call him right there so she could lecture him.

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@kermelbar

4 years

@waitingforhome8 @maggieofthetown @JustaBlondeMama * Barbies rode around, that is. We were Baptist, so there was no Rosé. 😁

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@kermelbar

3 years

@MandichTony @travelinlady99 I have so much hatred for the people who pull that shit when exiting. This is not the way to fix your mistake.

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