john @johntrified Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

@hpop69i

@ChefDavid119

@massage_blg

@Jossie_76

@chris_polizzi

@hailey_beaupre

@SSohaard

@9905AM

@kouji_matuda

@EPP

@sonoma_state

@ebda3_Blue

@bokeplokalmalam

@StwGendut

@luminar_jp

@StwGendut

@stwmaniax

@DimitriAlder

@cchaeil

@BinorRaja

@stwmaniax

@omdolljp

@DrBobbyLow

@freddy33

@dbn50

@ataylor1892

@MaleTrevor

@kilgaaaaaarra

@mlassarat

@Torongeikip

@teepu2006

@Alyana_Vtuber6

@SharkRacing1a1s

@Tanner__T

@Poshgooner83

@Blitzboks

john

@johntrified

3 months

My dad partied so hard in uni he lost his full ride scholarship half way through his first semester (first person in his school’s history). Then to pay his way through school he stumbled into a job at a steel mill making $18/hr ($87/hr today) bc his old soccer coach was the GM

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john

@johntrified

2 months

I’ve had Indian coworkers for so long I just said “today morning” in stand up

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john

@johntrified

3 months

It was also a crooked union job where everyone agreed to work half days. So he just read books on the assembly line all summer. There’s a lesson in there

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john

@johntrified

3 months

His buddy lost his the day after (second person in school’s history)

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john

@johntrified

8 months

So funny when a white guy says he’s quitting drinking. Sure man your ancestors were drinking 6 pints a day for hundreds of years. You’ve literally been bred to crush brews. It’s over

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john

@johntrified

3 months

Ok no one is gonna believe this but we went to McDonald’s in Vienna at midnight and as we were leaving these 3 zoomer high school kids flagged us down. They were high and drunk, rippin cigs, real hooligans vibe. Turns out one of them had written a script to exploit some bug in

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john

@johntrified

1 year

Dudes will really grind 100 hr weeks for their kids’ future and then marry a girl for no reason other than her looks

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john

@johntrified

4 months

Unserious city

john

@johntrified

4 months

SF transit options be like -42 minute walk uphill -27 minute bus with crackheads -7 minute $14.50 uber

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john

@johntrified

1 year

In honour of Miami tech week here’s a collage I made in less than 24 hrs there (read the bios)

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john

@johntrified

9 days

They’re making me leetcode for an internal transfer dawg

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john

@johntrified

3 months

john

@johntrified

3 months

Also the forklift driver would intentionally back into the assembly line if things were going too smoothly so that the daily quota wouldn’t be raised

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john

@johntrified

1 year

If you’re 20 and don’t sit in the window seat you have no heart. If you’re 30 and don’t sit in the aisle seat you have no brain

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john

@johntrified

10 months

If a senior engineer is handsome you just know that boy is VERY autistic

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john

@johntrified

9 months

“You shouldn’t drink 15 beers and throw up” wow get a load of Andrew Huberman over here

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john

@johntrified

3 months

1 year since meeting my beautiful smart gf off this stupid website

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john

@johntrified

10 months

Me 8 beers in explaining cloud computing to my gf’s grandma I just met

Videosareforever99

@videosaregood

10 months

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john

@johntrified

3 months

Also the forklift driver would intentionally back into the assembly line if things were going too smoothly so that the daily quota wouldn’t be raised

sally, titan of industry

@sally124445

3 months

The details of the story are even better: john’s dad was talking to the secretary trying to apply to a job, having no luck. Didnt know coach was gm. Then the GM walked by and was like “johns dad? Is that you?” And turned to the sec and said “he starts on monday. Find him a job”

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john

@johntrified

2 years

Gm

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john

@johntrified

4 months

[SWE who does nothing but play video games in his free time voice] Yeah bro the opportunity cost of cooking is soo high that’s why I just doordash

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john

@johntrified

2 years

Hinge girl said she likes my arms bc they’re “big but not too big” I’m gonna throw up

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john

@johntrified

2 months

@warty_dog Absolutely nothing

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john

@johntrified

1 year

What if I ate this every single day huh. What then

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john

@johntrified

4 months

SF transit options be like -42 minute walk uphill -27 minute bus with crackheads -7 minute $14.50 uber

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john

@johntrified

11 months

See nerds? This is why you make friends with the finance bros

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john

@johntrified

2 months

@allgarbled Sometimes ESL typing is actually more effective

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john

@johntrified

2 months

@skooookum Really good stuff man

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john

@johntrified

9 months

Skill issue. Last year alone I got a beautiful smart gf, climbed Kilimanjaro, benched 315, ran a half marathon, travelled whenever I wanted and still have 5 weeks vacation

Samswara

@samswoora

9 months

FAANG is the ultimate faustian bargain - give up your dreams, your hopes, your youth - in exchange for like 10 mil. 10m is a lot of money. Most people never see that money. But you have to give up a decade of your life. That decade, the energy you had, won’t come back.

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john

@johntrified

1 year

Every nerdy white/asian male dominated hobby group has that one stunningly beautiful white girl who is there for unknown reasons

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john

@johntrified

1 year

Athletes having deformed feet from jamming them into hyperengineered performancemaxxed shoes their whole life is based and another step towards transhumanism

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john

@johntrified

6 months

One of the Chinese engineers at the office is wearing a Nike shooting sleeve

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john

@johntrified

10 months

Ohh husbant…..you do not want to pay $60 for a new years uber….now we must wait 25 minute for the J train out of Brookryn

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john

@johntrified

2 years

Bros how do you say “we’ll merge with machines and explore the galaxies” but in a way that’s appealing to women?

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john

@johntrified

1 year

Every white boy must make this choice. With the clipper haircut he lives a life of latinas and ABGs, with the scissor cut he attracts basic white girls and product mommy asians Which way western man?

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john

@johntrified

1 year

Type of guy who only uses hinge to socialize himself with women bc he’s a SWE who works from home and if he doesn’t go on dates he’ll go weeks without speaking to a woman

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john

@johntrified

4 months

One of the many r*tarded things about FAANG is how, while I am keeping 20 year old distributed systems with razor thin SLAs on life support, there are mfs here making the same or more $$ writing frontend for HR forms

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john

@johntrified

7 months

Gm

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john

@johntrified

29 days

Software engineers when they have to put on clothes 5 days a week and work more than 20 hours

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john

@johntrified

2 years

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john

@johntrified

2 years

Some guy named Rahul Ligma asks u this wyd??

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john

@johntrified

7 months

@skooookum It’s all just horseshoe theory? Always has been

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john

@johntrified

8 months

Me: we can’t hang out for a 5th day in a row. I need to go to work My gf:

Rachel, Spirited Sparrow

@SpiritedSparr0w

8 months

This is how we slowly lose our humanity. Slow step by slow step, we creep along the path of separating ourselves from one another. With each incremental step, we can't find any issue. Everything is rational.

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john

@johntrified

1 year

@a_real_society Only using pics of u on a boat

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john

@johntrified

1 year

Sales is the best profession and if you disagree you’re coping. You literally get paid obscene amounts of money just for passing vibe checks all day??

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john

@johntrified

1 year

Lotta guys fumble by generally keeping to themselves but thinking they’ll be able to flip a switch and rizz up the cute girl at the gym or whatever In reality you need to always have that shit turned on. Rizz up the world

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john

@johntrified

5 months

Replenishing my balls’ microplastics supply @ the Ottawa 10k

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john

@johntrified

2 years

My gayest take is that the hottest guys are actually hotter than the hottest girls no homo

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john

@johntrified

4 months

@ipsumkyle This is kind of like geological engineering if you think about it

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john

@johntrified

24 days

Get married at a cottage

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john

@johntrified

1 year

Honestly my biggest problem with hinge is that the girls aren’t weird enough

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john

@johntrified

1 year

Gm

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john

@johntrified

1 year

@bryancsk Every time I try it ends up in the trash somehow it’s weird

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john

@johntrified

7 months

Me to the boys: Yo retard. You in for beach volleyball this year or are you too busy jerking off alone Me to their gfs: Hey Ashley :) we have a beach volleyball team playing on Sunday nights this summer, would you be interested??

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john

@johntrified

1 year

Scientists discover sleepiest animal on the planet (mid 20s human female)

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john

@johntrified

2 years

Brutal when a female poaster is a gif reply type of girl. In the Media tab scrolling through hundreds of gifs just for a hand pic

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john

@johntrified

11 months

Horseshoe theory of poasting ability vs relationship status -single: in your prime, unfiltered, got that dog in you -gf: low quality, infrequent posting, getting complacent -married: better than ever, doing it for the love of the game

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john

@johntrified

1 year

You need to be happymaxxing. You need to be greeting people everywhere you go. Smiling at dogs and children. You need be straight up manic

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john

@johntrified

2 years

Her: let’s get a drink Me: can’t I’m on call Her: oh are you a doctor? Me: ya a doctor of poorly engineered distributed systems Her: *unmatches*

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john

@johntrified

8 months

@riverberate Good thing he was physically incapable of quitting

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john

@johntrified

2 years

As a mid SWE with decent social skills it feels like a good time to move into product or sales or whatever

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john

@johntrified

1 year

Basically in your 20s you should either be fucking around and finding out or falling deeply madly in love. Half assed relationships are soul killers Horseshoe theory of romance

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john

@johntrified

1 year

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john

@johntrified

1 year

Well. I did the meme. I got a gf off twitter

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john

@johntrified

1 year

They won’t admit it but women actually find it extremely attractive when you eat like shit as a guy. Baconators, doritos, kfc, they go feral. Caveat is you need to look fit still

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john

@johntrified

11 months

Software engineers love to say making more money is better than being frugal

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john

@johntrified

2 years

I flopped on going to a chess bar tn and Magnus was there dawg it’s so fucking over

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john

@johntrified

6 months

The reality is that nobody who comes from money would subject themselves to software engineering and so it’s a clear lower-middle class dog whistle

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john

@johntrified

4 months

Golden era post

darth penis

@bobsredmilf

5 months

what are posts that aren’t load-bearing anywhere but your personal lexicon. like the ones that weren’t really popular but are so enshrined in your mind that you just assume they got hundreds of thousands of likes

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john

@johntrified

1 year

You don’t need therapy bro you need team sports

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john

@johntrified

1 year

We all dressed as Steve Jobs and told the guy on the right we weren’t wearing costumes

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john

@johntrified

1 year

@girllbossing Made with love

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john

@johntrified

4 months

@motphysics Proving my point

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john

@johntrified

5 months

Ffs can’t even scroll LinkedIn without seeing @skooookum ’s cunty ass

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john

@johntrified

6 months

@bryancsk Redundancy good

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john

@johntrified

9 months

Can’t believe you guys let this happen

ppigg

@s4m31p4n

9 months

The black and chinese eyed peas

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john

@johntrified

1 year

Do I actually dislike software engineering or am I just tired of working remotely and maintaining low level Java distributed systems

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john

@johntrified

1 year

Drake has solved music for the median human. Basically if you hate drakes music you hate humanity. Do you hate humanity bro?

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john

@johntrified

1 year

How many dates until I tell her I spend 4 hours a day on twitter

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john

@johntrified

2 years

The elites don’t want you to know this but you can actually wear the exact same fit on every first date. No one will know

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john

@johntrified

8 months

@nutritivesoul Why do you think so many of them leave

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john

@johntrified

2 months

@skooookum It wasn’t the shorts

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john

@johntrified

1 year

Ok credentialism has gone too far they give you a certificate for walking up hills now

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john

@johntrified

2 years

I hope roon has an alt with like 300 followers where he just poasts like the old days

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john

@johntrified

1 year

Sigh… another day searching for my smarter than me athletic naturehead 300k product mommy gf

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john

@johntrified

1 year

You’d be happier if you just himbomaxxed and found a rich product mommy wife anon

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john

@johntrified

4 months

@_deepfates I just want to stand on a piping hot subway platform surrounded by rats

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john

@johntrified

2 years

Yay or nay addition to the hinge profile

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john

@johntrified

11 months

@big_gelatin The ole SF swindle

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john

@johntrified

1 year

Some pics from this weekend btw if u even care

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john

@johntrified

1 year

[my friend, who I’ve watched inhale a full pack of cigarettes in one night] Yeah man I’m trying to avoid spending too much time outside today with the air quality

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john

@johntrified

2 years

The ability to post bangers is the sign of a gentleman. The ability to post bangers regularly is the sign of a wasted life

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john

@johntrified