🍉 totally correct greek gods quotes @incorrectgreeks Twitter profile

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🍉 totally correct greek gods quotes

4 months

hi!! welcome to incorrectgreeks 🫒✨ if you want to support the girl behind this account, you can buy me a coffee (i need a lot of caffeine) clicking here: also, check out this thread if you want to have some mythical fun!!! 🤠

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🍉 totally correct greek gods quotes

@incorrectgreeks

2 years

Persephone: on a scale of 1 to 10, i'm a 9 because you're the one i need Hades: you're a ten Persephone: no, it's a pick-up lin- Hades: you are a ten, end of discussion

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2 years

Athena: not every problem can be solved with a knife Artemis: that's why i carry two

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2 years

Persephone: i like your suit Hades: thanks! it was 50% off Persephone: i’d like it 100% off Hades: the store can’t just give out free stuff Persephone: that’s not what i– Hades: that’s a terrible way to run a business, Persephone

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2 years

Persephone: i can fit my whole world in my hands Hades: that’s imposs- Persephone: *cups Hades' face* Hades: i have a reputation

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3 years

Aphrodite: you know, Persephone gives Hades flowers every day. i wish you’d do that too Ares: okay *the next day* Ares: *gives Hades flowers* Hades: ?????? Ares: i don’t know. i’m confused as well

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2 years

Persephone: i can’t go, stress is bad for the baby Hades: Hades: what....what baby? Persephone: me

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2 years

Eros: are you a top or a bottom? Dionysus: i'm a problem

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3 years

kidnappers: we have your son Zeus: be more specific kidnappers: he's been singing toxic on a loop for 4 hours Zeus: oh, Apollo... you can keep him kidnappers: no please

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2 years

Demeter: fuck that stupid king of the underworld! Persephone: MOM, I'M TRYING

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2 years

Aphrodite: are you the big spoon or the little spoon? Hades: i'm a knife! Persephone, yelling from across the room: he's the little spoon!!

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2 years

Athena: asexual rights? yes Athena: as an asexual, i'm always right

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3 years

Persephone: remember, when you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants so it's illegal to dig it up Persephone: follow me for more gardening tips!

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10 months

Hades: *casually searching around the room* Thanatos: what are you looking for? Hades: my will to live Persephone: *walks in* Hades: there she is!

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4 months

Hades: what am i gonna do while you’re gone? Persephone: i don't know, what do you normally do when i’m gone? Hades: wait for you to get back

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2 years

Poseidon: if Zeus and i were drowning, who would you save? Hades: you literally cannot die Poseidon: it's a hypothetical question, who would you save? Hades: my time and effort

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2 years

Hades: sorry, i'm late Zeus: what happened? Hades: i didn't want to come

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1 year

Persephone: are you still mad at me? Hades: yes Persephone: are you going to let go my hand? Hades: no

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1 year

Artemis: i am lebanese Artemis: les bien Artemis: lesbiam Athena: take your time Artemis: girls

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10 months

Hades: i'm going to make some french fries, do you want some? Persephone: no, i'm good [later] Hades: *eating his french fries* Persephone: can i have some? Hades, who made extra fries for her: of course you can

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2 years

Hades: *sneezes* Persephone: bless you Hades: your presence is blessing enough, but thank you

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3 years

Persephone: *hugs Hades from behind* Hades: what are you doing? Persephone: you said you needed a little spoon Hades: for my coffee, my queen, i need it for my coffee

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2 years

Dionysus: i'm bisexual and confused Hestia: about your sexuality??? Dionysus: no. i just never know what's going on

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1 year

Hades: love is for weaks Persephone: Hades: Hades: and i'm the weakest

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2 years

Persephone: you’re late Hades: you’re stunning Persephone: you’re forgiven

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2 years

Persephone: why do good people die young? Hekate: well, when you're in a garden, what flowers do you pick? Persephone: the ugly ones Hekate: exac- wait, what? Persephone: ugly bitches don't belong in my garden

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2 years

Apollo: i wrote you a song Hermes: really? Apollo: a song about how i feel when i'm near you Hermes: show me Apollo, playing the guitar: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

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@incorrectgreeks

1 year

Hades, drunk: i like Persephone. she has such beautiful eyes Hades: i love her Persephone: Hades: don’t tell her, ok? Persephone: ok Hades, i won’t

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@incorrectgreeks

1 year

Hades: i wasn't that drunk last night Hekate: yes you were. you were flirting with Persephone Hades: what's wrong with that? she's my wife Hekate: you asked her if she was single and then cried when she said she wasn't

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1 year

Hestia: what is love? Eros: an emotional minefield Athena: a neurochemical reaction Dionysus: baby, don't hurt me-

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2 years

Hades: what are you reading? Persephone: a book about things i love Hades: oh, can i take a look? Persephone: sure Hades: this is... this is our photo album

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1 year

Athena, walking into the Olympic meeting: sorry i'm late. i was doing... things Poseidon, walking in and out of breath: SHE PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS

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2 years

Aphrodite, staring at Artemis: wow, she's so pretty... Ares: don't feel like that, honey. you're prettier Aphrodite: i'm not jealous, Ares. i'm bisexual

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1 year

Persephone: may i sit here? Hades: that's my lap Persephone: that doesn't answer my question

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1 year

Apollo: telling the future Hermes: what's your favourite power? Hermes: wait Apollo: Hermes: that was good, bro

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2 years

Persephone: so how long are we going to let him do that? Hades: just give him a minute Zagreus: *furiosly pushing a door that says pull*

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2 years

Athena: i'm sorry narrator: Athena wasn't sorry

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2 years

Ares: what if she kisses me? Aphrodite: you kiss her back, obviously Ares: okay Ares: but why her back, though?

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1 year

Persephone: you're pretty cute when you're nice Hades: what am i when i'm not nice? Persephone: hot as fuck

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3 years

Persephone: describe yourself in one word Hades: yours Persephone: Persephone: that's so cute, i thought you were going to say "sad" or something like that

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2 years

Hades: sometimes, i don’t realize an event was traumatic until i tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird

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2 years

Poseidon: Hades, wanna hang out? Hades: sorry, i have a meeting Poseidon: with who? Hades: my dogs

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2 years

*group chat* Athena: for the last time, “your” and “you’re” are different things Athena: “your” is a possessive, and “you’re” is a contraction of “you are" Apollo: my fire Hermes: the one desire Apollo: believe when i say Hermes: I WANT IT THAT WAY Athena: *leaves*

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1 year

Persephone: *leaves the underworld* Hekate: how are you? Hades: can we change the topic before i cry?

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3 years

Aphrodite: i'm cold Ares: oh, take my jacket Persephone: i'm cold Hades: *sets the world on fire*

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2 years

Dionysus: i'll have a glass of your finest wine employee: sir, this is a mcdonalds Dionysus: okay, sorry Dionysus: i'll have a mcwine

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1 year

Ares: "ladies and gentlemen" is unnecessarily gendered, overly formal, lengthy and honestly i'm already falling asleep Ares: "cowards", on the other hand, is inclusive, to the point, and dramatic

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2 years

Athena: how did you two get in an accident? Aphrodite: she was driving and there was a deer on the road so i yelled «Artemis, deer!» Athena: and? Aphrodite: tell her what you said Artemis: Artemis: i said «yes, honey?»

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2 years

Athena: come on, think straight Apollo: but i'm- Athena: now it's NOT the time Hermes: i'm not- Athena: not you too Artemis: Athena i- Athena: no Dionysus: b- Athena: OKAY EVERYONE THINK GAY JUST MAKE A PLAN

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2 years

Aphrodite: don't break someone's heart, they only have one Ares: yeah break their bones, they have 206

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2 years

Zagreus, coming home late and whispering to the dog: hi, boy, i'm back Hades, spining around in chair: hi, back. i'm disappointed

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1 year

Apollo: are you high? Dionysus: am i what? Apollo: high Dionysus: hello

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1 year

Persephone: hey, wanna hear a funny joke? Hades: i'm more into dark humour Persephone, turning the lights off: ok, so...

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3 years

Hades: you're pretty cute when you're nice Persephone: what am i when i'm not nice? Hades: hot as fuck

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1 year

Hera, on the phone: hello? Ares: it’s Ares Hera: what did he do this time? Ares: no, it’s me, Ares. it’s actually me, mom Hera: …what did you do this time?

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1 year

Hades: what am i gonna do while you’re gone? Persephone: i don't know, what do you normally do when i’m gone? Hades: wait for you to get back

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1 year

Hermes: hey, wanna hear a joke? Athena: sure Hermes: a girl goes to buy a snake and there's a sign on the snake tank that says "3.14 feet" and then she says- Athena: it's a pi-thon Hermes, wiping "snakes don't have feet" off of his hand: haha, yeah

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2 years

Hades: *carrying a stack of supplies with both hands* Persephone: *reaches out to help him* Hades: *moves the supplies to one arm to hold Persephone's hand* Persephone: that's not what i- okay

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5 months

Poseidon: i don’t think we can mansplain, manipulate, or malewife our way out of it this time Ares, cracking his knuckles: manslaughter it is

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2 years

Hades: *teaching Melinoe to drive* Melinoe: what if i press the brake and gas at the same time? Zagreus, in the back: the car takes a screenshot Hades: what are you even doing here?!

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2 years

Hermes: if Zeus doesn't show up in 15 minutes legally we own olympus

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2 years

cop: we're looking for drugs Dionysus: no way! ME TOO

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2 years

Therapist: why does it still upset you? Hades: i mean, i was trying to be good Hades: and the idiot looked back Hades: and everyone thought it was my fault Hades: i just want to make my job right

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1 year

Hera: why are you naked? Zeus: Zeus: i don't have any clothes Hera, opening the closet: you have shirts, pants, jackets, hi Maia, socks... wait

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6 months

Hades: follow me, i want to show you something Persephone: i like it Hades: my ass is not the thing Persephone: i like it anyway

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2 years

Thanatos: why is Hades crying on the floor? Hekate: he’s drunk Thanatos: and? Hekate: he saw a picture of Persephone's husband Thanatos: but he’s Persephone's husband Hekate: i fucking know

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3 years

Persephone: why would i fuck a demon? simple; the status. imagine you and your friends arriving at the gates of hell, they’re all crying, scared to death and you just walk into the arms of your sugar demon. legendary Hades: Hades: now i understand

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2 years

Hades: i found your to-do list this morning Persephone: so? Hades: it only has my name on it Persephone: *winks*

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7 months

Persephone: have you ever tried honey? Hades: tried what? Persephone: honey Hades: yes? Persephone:

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2 years

Zeus: you are like a son to me Hermes: not to alarm you but i am your son

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3 years

Hades: why don't you have a boyfriend? Persephone: because i have an overprotective mother. why don't you have a girlfriend? Hades: because you have an overprotective mother

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2 years

Eris: i'm a very creative goddess Athena: what do you create? Eris: chaos

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2 years

Athena: i keep a picture of all of us in my wallet Athena: whenever i face a difficult situation, i look at it the olympians: aww Athena: and i tell myself "if i can deal with these idiots, i can deal with anything"

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1 year

Dionysus: you best start respecting trans people's pronouns, darling, or i'll have to make your pronouns was/were

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2 years

Ares: has anyone seen my top? Aphrodite: i have a name tho

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2 years

Apollo: got it? Dionysus: got it Dionysus, internally: got what

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2 years

Hestia: violence isn't the answer Ares: you're right Ares: violence is the question Hestia: what? Ares: and the answer is YES

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2 years

Hestia: why is Demeter crying? Hera: she did a "which greek god would marry you" quiz Hestia: who did she get? Hera: Hades

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1 year

Athena: yes, i'm s.m.a.r.t Athena: sad mad and really tired

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10 months

Artemis: *sees people doing something stupid* Artemis: idiots Artemis, after realising they are Apollo, Dionysus and Hermes: oh no, those are my idiots

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1 year

Ares: send dudes!! Aphrodite: *sends him a nude* Ares: that's not what i meant!! i'm in a battle!! Aphrodite: oh Ares: nice tits tho

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3 years

Persephone: *brutally murders someone* Hades: she's so cute

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2 years

Hermes: Hades, stop ignoring me Hades: i’m not ignoring you, i’m ignoring all of you Persephone: Hades: all but Persephone

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3 years

Persephone: honey, can you help me with this zipper? Hades: of course! Persephone: Persephone: up, Hades Hades: right, my apologies

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1 year

Aphrodite: if a guy calls you ‘princess’ in a condescending manner, assert your newly appointed royal status and have him beheaded

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1 year

Hestia: what's the first thing you notice when a man approaches you? Athena: the audacity

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1 year

[at a fancy party] Aphrodite: let's slow dance Ares: *slowly dances the macarena*

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2 years

Demeter: i'm an excellent driver Hera: you almost ran over Zeus by accident Demeter: by accident?

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2 years

Apollo: please peer pressure me into finishing my projects Hermes: do it or you’re straight Apollo: Apollo: i said peer pressure not THREATEN

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2 years

cop: we got a call that you had pot in your car Dionysus, bringing out a flower pot: oh you mean this? cop, laughing: my mistake, what are you growing? Dionysus: weed

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2 years

Aphrodite: when i said "bring me something from the sea" i meant a seashell Poseidon, struggling to hold a seagull: well, you didn't say a seashell

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2 years

*at an art museum* Hermes: can we take a picture? Apollo, taking out his phone: sure Hermes, grabbing a painting hanging on the wall: QUICK! let’s go before they catch us!! Apollo: WHAT-

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1 year

Artemis: i'm small but knowing Apollo: you don't know what the top shelf looks like Artemis: Artemis: bitch

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10 months

Dionysus: the first time i met Athena, she gave me two drachmas. it wasn’t necessary and nobody asked her to do it, but she still did it! Athena: i thought he was homeless

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2 years

Hades: yeah, sex is great but imagine see your wife every single day Hekate: are you okay? Hades, tearing up: no

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3 years

Persephone: *asleep resting on Hades' chest* Hades: you're so cute when you're asleep Persephone: i could kill someone right now Hades, smiling: i know, my queen

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2 years

Zagreus: am i in trouble? Hades: take a guess Zagreus: ... no? Hades: take another guess

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2 years

Artemis: truth or dare? Apollo: this is not a slumber party Artemis: i know but it feels like one Apollo: we are in a prison cell!! Ares: i choose dare

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