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fleetwood jack

@imfleetwoodjack

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The most important thing is to be yourself and ALWAYS keep on rocking 🤘 // sobrietysucks1

Chicago
Joined February 2013
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
5 months
why does the kicker in football wear pads and helmets? all he does is kick the ball. it's a foul for the other team to touch him. the kicker should be wearing some kind of beautiful ice skater outfit that shows the team's personality
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
1 year
remembering when i asked a spanish teacher if "señorito" was a word like "señorita" is, and she said it's only used when a little boy is wearing a suit and looks like a little gentleman
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
10 months
started tone matching my Iraqi corner store guy. i walk in, “the big boss himself, where have you been hiding?” “at school, where i missed you so dearly” “habibi you are my number one guy” “i will never betray you” “king of my heart and the true big boss”
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
8 months
my dad brought me yellow gatorade because that's the medicinal flavor. orange is for exercise. red is the best tasting but has no healing properties, it's just a drink like an arizona iced tea.
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
8 months
it’s a universal truth known since the Jackass days that wearing prosthetic old person makeup and skateboarding will always be funny
@grgecantstandya
george can’t-stand-ya
8 months
never forget tony hawk's larry david halloween fit
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
6 months
i just gave the big boss his christmas present. he said how did you know pistachio was my favorite? i said my friend you told me once. and how could i forget? he said you are a good man. bigger than a man. a lion. i said you deserve the world and i really meant it 🥲
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
10 months
started tone matching my Iraqi corner store guy. i walk in, “the big boss himself, where have you been hiding?” “at school, where i missed you so dearly” “habibi you are my number one guy” “i will never betray you” “king of my heart and the true big boss”
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
9 months
this video of Norm MacDonald’s old writing partner Jim Downey is the hardest i’ve laughed in months
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
2 years
John C Reilly describing the chimp on Walk Hard getting sad when he yelled at him for a take is so sweet
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
5 months
did an exercise with my trauma group teens today that called for us to watch an emotional movie scene and talk about it. the examples sucked so I showed the Fresh Prince "how come he dont want me" scene. i was not prepared for how powerfully that would connect
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
9 months
this is the kind of thoughtful commentary that the internet collapses. he's not saying fuck this, it's problematic. he's engaging directly with the problem of whether this scale of movie, however well-meaning, is even capable of telling the Osage story fully honestly
@THR
The Hollywood Reporter
9 months
At the film’s premiere, Osage language consultant Christopher Cote shares his complicated feelings about #KillersOfTheFlowerMoon
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
9 months
in high school my friends and i would bring my family's chocolate lab into the car when we hotboxed and we called him the cannabis canine. in hindsight it was maybe animal abuse but he's 13 years old now and in perfect health and he loves me. just saw him today
@MaskTheMovie
baronvonsavings
9 months
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
2 months
Notice that grandpa is wearing a Perú Libre jacket, a Marxist political party with HUGE indigenous support. He knows intuitively that the struggle is global. That and wearing a knit alpaca wool hat in sunny LA spring weather makes him possibly the most Peruvian man of all time
@jenjajeh
Jennifer Jajeh 🐝
2 months
And this proud, steadfast baba was at the protest with his baba. Beautiful intergenerational support for Palestine.
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
10 months
its doing wonders for my mental health. i show up, he tells me he is looking for my wife, i say i will starve if i have to buy chips from anyone else. i buy my cigarettes, we gas each other up a little more, and we both leave in a better mood
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
2 months
dont love everything about the Fallout show as a lore snob, but i think its worth mentioning that both leads are great, and that "constantly anxious to the point of visible nausea" isnt a personality type we tend to let young Black guys play, especially as leads
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
2 years
this is because Colorado Corrections Industries started its tilapia fisheries in 2001 when they realized they could pay prisoners 4 cents an hour, undercut all the domestic whitefish prices, AND get a hormone-free organic label. Whole Foods bought CCI fish and dairy til 2016
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
5 months
Nick Cave's answer to a teenager asking "how do I not have my heart broken" is still my favorite thing to revisit as often as I can
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
9 months
every year when my sobriety anniversary starts coming up, my sister and brother bring back the tradition of Elmer Fudd if he was in AA and on shaky ground. all we do is say "oh no, i'm gonna wewapse" in an Elmer Fudd voice, and text it to each other when we're saying it too much
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
11 months
when i was 17 i told an 80 year old jesuit priest that i was thinking about applying to Tufts University and he said "you dont wanna spend 4 years in Medford with those *druids*." he said druids like it was a slur. i have no idea what he meant by it
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
9 months
they needed this
@BlockClubCHI
Block Club Chicago
9 months
"Squirrels have gone wild" because they’re celebrating an acorn surplus. 🐿️
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
1 year
remembering the SNL sketch where a couple gives birth to a 37 year old man named Ted Brogan and he wants a Denver omelet. Mr and Mrs Phillips wanted to name him Michael but his name is already Ted Brogan
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
6 months
someone here said its racist writing that in The Bear, the Puerto Rican cook calls her boss Jeff instead of chef. said no hispanic would make that mistake. watching it now, it's so fucking obviously an affectionate nickname. she has a Bronx accent. were you born in a bucket
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
9 months
i love that steve irwin has kids who look exactly like him and continue his legacy. it helps that they have a family uniform. my dad would love it if we all wore the same clothes and talked about him all day
@RobertIrwin
Robert Irwin
9 months
Wow. This was a special moment. I think Dad would be pretty proud that we’ve become the first to successfully breed the turtle that he discovered. A rare, and unique species under threat in the wild has just been given a second chance.
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
8 months
@EnnuiSports dark blue is mental fortitude/mana potion. light blue is for hot days because it is colder than other flavors
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
7 months
I think Joe Biden is a weak leader, unfit to rule, a moron blood-soaked gladhander addicted to the ugliest parts of politics, can’t win 2024. but every time I see this text he sent his son at rehab, I can’t help but feel affection. he just said what he knew how to
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
9 months
people love posting young pics of old politicians and being like "no one told me he was so daddy???" but jimmy carter looks exactly like you'd expect. country mouse. other sailors probably called him Peanut. first gay guy he ever met was on his boat, Peanut tried to pray with him
@votevets
VoteVets
9 months
Happy 99th birthday, Jimmy Carter. 🇺🇸
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
2 months
Kendrick is a sober man. Drug free for many years. You cannot understand how pure his hatred is unless you've experienced the focused resentment of a recovering addict. He started writing these tracks years ago. Some of this hatred is stepwork. This is scorched earth
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
2 months
these t shirts turned 10% boys my age into genuine psychopaths
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
2 years
George RR Martin grew up in the 60s in a family of Kennedy Democrats, and House of the Dragon is his treatise on the danger of placing your hopes for the political future on a family of rich kids who love operating small aircraft and dying in the sky
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
10 months
@yungandykaufman the first time i saw him call someone else big boss i felt betrayed but now i understand what it means to be the big boss. the true big boss isnt jealous, theres room for all of us
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
1 year
@gigasolonely ur goin to the cárcel
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
1 year
ordering just a burger at 5 Guys or Shake Shack is about $12. it’s called The Squire’s Temptation. ordering a burger, fries, and a shake, however, is known as The King’s Reward. it costs $35 and is only permissible one or two times a year
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
2 months
had a weawwy wuff week but i didnt wewapse. weminding myself i never have to have another dwink or dwug again
@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
9 months
every year when my sobriety anniversary starts coming up, my sister and brother bring back the tradition of Elmer Fudd if he was in AA and on shaky ground. all we do is say "oh no, i'm gonna wewapse" in an Elmer Fudd voice, and text it to each other when we're saying it too much
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
5 months
the kids opened up like i've never seen before. the school social worker told me she wants to do a schoolwide assembly so every student can watch the full episode and talk about it in groups. she said "you have a gift with these kids. you belong in schools"
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
1 year
this is what spring in cities like Chicago and New York does to people. after the first week or so of decent weather everybody goes into heat because they see hoochie shorts and bare skin, and they go insane in a way that doesnt quite happen in car cities
@0pvlent
Mika
1 year
just watched a man literally flip a coin on a moving train and unblock a contact labeled "ABSOLUTELY NOT" and text them "hey" with a slutty amount of Ys
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
11 months
@DaveMcNamee3000 Luis has made $45,320 and Daniel has made $15,000. just goes to show the hard grinder with low prices can make more than the man who doesn't know his worth
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
1 year
Leno brought the picket lines donuts, GRRM brought them a broth of crab and monkfish, and cold egg lime soup as well. Then came quails in honey, a saddle of lamb, goose livers drowned in wine, buttered parsnips, and suckling pig. The sight of it all made Tyrion feel queasy, but h
@Variety
Variety
1 year
‘Game of Thrones’ Spinoff ‘The Hedge Knight’ Writers Room Pauses as George R.R. Martin Offers ‘Unequivocal Support’ of WGA
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
9 months
still big Wood after all these years
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
5 months
not trying to pat myself on the back for this, but teenagers are always teenagers. they can sniff out inauthenticity from a mile away, and they don't trust adults reading lines from worksheets. i know because i did that my first 2 months there
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
2 years
Dukakis ‘88. It’s all I smoke
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
11 months
they're teaching about Chapo Trap House in my social work grad school class. according to this graph they are slightly more 'fact-based' than INFOWARS, but more politically extreme. Joe Rogan, as we all know, is right in the middle
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
1 year
i'm sorry but No Vacancy deserved to win the battle of the bands at the end of School of Rock. i'm glad Dewey was able to start a business but they were not a real band. they'd never performed before. it was during a school day. it was unclear if it was about him or them
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
3 years
Why didn’t anyone tell me the president of Ireland looked like this. He’s awesome
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
1 year
i dont have the link but i love that someone did the work to find out what kind of t shirt this is and it turned out to be like a $400 japanese thick-cotton small batch brand
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
1 year
i bet jenny slate told him this when they dated and it’s haunted him for years
@FilmUpdates
Film Updates
1 year
Chris Evans says he has avoided hosting SNL like “the plague” for years: “It’s terrifying to me… I’m not a funny person. Maybe I only feel that because I have very, very funny friends who once told me I’m not a funny person.”
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
2 months
i will say that being born Catholic is such a good cheat out of these interactions. they dont get too churchy on you because they have to stop to think if they think of Catholics as real Christians or not. you can end the interaction while they're thinking
@tom_on_here
Youtube! you are YouRube until you restore matt!
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
5 months
she said "i knew you were good when that girl asked if some student you needed was Black or white and you said 'im the only white person i've ever seen in this building so i assume he's Black.' everyone laughed, and it was NOT that funny. they knew you were real"
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
2 months
"you gotta dance with the girl you came with" is up there among the best advice i consistently get from AA old timers, and i couldnt really tell you what it specifically means if i wanted to. something about finishing what you started, but also seeing things through
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
5 months
still insane to me that this clip is only 60 seconds. it feels like 6 minutes. it feels longer than 2 minutes of empty silence would. it's so tense. it's like a Hitchcock movie with no relief
@i_need_eggs
heavy-bottomed pot
5 months
super bowl sunday. time to watch my favorite tim & eric clip fifty times today
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
1 year
i haven’t seen anyone talk about this guy in a few weeks but i wanna be clear that me and my brother still do his voice all the time and i’m definitely gonna be him for halloween
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
10 months
@Caol_MacCormaig i have never gotten more enthusiasm and congratulations from strangers about me being a recovering alcoholic than at a wedding in Tennessee. they were telling each other about me and walking up to me to shake my hand
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
5 months
my favorite thing about having a car is picking people up from the airport. it means so much to people and its 30 minutes out of my day. incredibly efficient effort / gratitude ratio from a toxic manipulation perspective
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
6 months
i hadn’t come in for a month because i got a car and usually buy cigarettes and snacks at the jewel. he told me he worried i’d quit smoking and he’d never see me again, that it broke his heart to imagine. he made me promise to buy zyn pouches from him if i do ever quit
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
9 months
sorry, nice try. if jeff epstein
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
5 months
this broke containment so let me say. i work at a continuation school for kids who got kicked out of CPS, with kids who specifically need trauma counseling. it did NOT reach them bc they all have absent dads, or bc i am such a great person
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
10 months
@WHarding1970 the arab world understands male friendship and intimacy better than anywhere else. bros can take a stroll holding hands. we have so much to learn
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
1 year
it’s so cool for Danny Elfman to decide to look like this at 70 with access to Testosterone Replacement Therapy. he’s like the scary clown from Twisted Metal
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
2 years
remember when chris cuomo said calling someone frodo was the n-word for italians
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
1 year
lmao
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
2 months
@liIpochaco Boston Market did this but we didn’t cherish it enough
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
11 months
do most people walk around with their "body count" in their head and update it accordingly whenever they get laid? seems weird to me. like i get it if you're not a hookup person and the number is low, but as a former blackout drunk i genuinely dont know mine
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
6 months
let me explain it. the spanish pronunciation of chef uses a hard ch- sound, like chair. immigrant workers saying 'yes chef' quickly sounds kind of like they're talking to a guy named Jeff. Tina, who speaks entirely in english, in a Bronx accent, is not herself an immigrant.
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
7 months
he won basically by accident, he’s not capable of rising to the demands of the moment. he’s never given poor drug users a shred of the kindness he showed Hunter, and he’ll never give Hunter the love he reserved for Beau. it’s heartbreaking for everyone
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
2 months
white male leads can be anxious! if this show was made even 10 years ago, this character's casting notes would say "young Will Smith-type, cocky and relaxed". this guy got out of the suit and the simple interpersonal connection made me MORE worried he was gonna puke
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
2 years
With both his parents dead, the Rogue Prince Charles has defected to Saudi Arabia and pledged his sword to the house of Saud
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
2 months
he has zero game, he's always on the edge and completely traumatized. he's terrified of everything and grimaces at every obstacle because his body hates him for all the stress. that's a more familiar feeling to young black viewers than like, flirting with shopkeeps or whatever
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
2 years
Danny Trejo has been in AA since 1968, he’s got 54 years of sobriety, i’d guess there are only a few hundred still-active AA members with that kind of time. i’ve only met one before. he’s the man
@officialDannyT
Danny Trejo
2 years
My son Gilbert Trejo has 8 years clean and sober today! I love you so much, and am so proud of the man you’ve become. Any parents out there with children struggling with addiction, I didn’t think my son was going to make it and today he’s my best friend! There is hope!
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
7 months
this is what i look like. it's known as the sturdy blacksmith build. its unremarkable to most people, but 10% of women and 40% of gay men are driven sexually insane by the male henchman body type and will stop at nothing to conquer it
@stunninggun
madame web’s web
7 months
im ok making guys like this the sexual ideal again
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
3 years
5 years sober today. Don’t ask me how I did it, I have no fucking clue
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
9 months
he's being straightforward and smart! he's clearly complimenting the movie's end question to white audiences about how long they'll tolerate racism! he doesn't see the problems as evidence of Scorsese's inherent evil, he sees them as part of a longer history
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
2 years
tilapia are super easy to feed and raise in the right climate. most of it is made in east asia now, CCI just saw the ‘conscious consumer’ money coming and used slave labor to cut costs and sell nutritionless fish as a health food.
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
5 months
it worked because it's a 2 minute scene that gets a lot of complex emotions across without requiring any context. it was perfect for our goals and would still work for an all white group. muting now
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
6 months
if you see this and feel affection for this beautiful man, consider giving money for asylum seekers here in Chicago. he was once in their exact same position, now he's an irreplaceable part of the neighborhood. give them that chance too.
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
1 year
Jesse Plemons is living the dream for male weight yo-yoers. i wanna be buff for 3 years, then 240 lb for 5 years, then skinny. he’s gonna get fat again when he gets bored and it’ll somehow be even cooler than before
@fiImgal
bethany
1 year
kirsten dunst and jesse plemons at the dior haute couture ss23 show in paris
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
11 months
@FlatEartherKitt someone said she looks like a little boy got zapped with a pawg ray from some kind of deviantart fetish comic and thats all i think of when i see her
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
9 months
@SamAdlerBell that's absolutely it, he still insists on sitting in a part of the room where he can see what everyone's up to. the fact that we were all together and paying attention to him was a dream come true
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
11 months
was he calling them hippies? was he saying they're pagans because it's not a catholic school? i'll never know
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
1 year
@JUNlPER sean: south korea is known for reinventing the fried chicken wing. what is your favorite north korean cuisine that americans might not have heard of? yeonmi: we eat rocks. the only holiday is Dennis Rodman's birthday, when we were permitted to eat rocks with urine sauce sean: wow
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
8 months
@coolturtleneck @EnnuiSports the white one... ive never had it myself but they say it becomes whatever your heart wants most
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
6 months
@mags_mclaugh if you're ever in Chicago in the next 5 years, you will. just as a heads up, every time i go in there with a female friend or companion he plays it cool and then the next time says "such a nice girl for you. is she Catholic?" and if they are he asks if he can come to the wedding
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
1 year
his buddies Chico and Cat-Man come pick him to go to Atlantic City. it’s so good
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
9 months
he disagrees with Scorsese on whether a murderous white man's bond with his Osage wife can be seen as something like love. Scorsese's spent his career asking how violent men experience love, and Cote is giving a great response. which is (cont'd)
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
1 year
remember the Liz Warren War Boy
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
9 months
that in the context of settler genocide and more specifically this Osage story, it's offensive to him as an Osage man to say any step of a process ending in mass-scale white-on-Osage murder for pure greed can even be compared to love. it makes the movie more interesting, not less
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
10 months
Fernando Botero died :( i've loved his shit since i was a little kid. not to get too personal but i was fascinated that he painted worlds where everyone was fat like i was, and it didnt affect their desirability or ability to find love. RIP my king
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
1 year
just a hot dog is $5. this is The Ploughman's Wages. shake is an $8 treat. The Maid's Chaste Delight. a shake and fries means you're vegetarian, or you're gonna dip those fries. The Vicar's Secret. free ketchup packets + water cup with sprite? The Frugal Merchant
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
5 months
incredible. this is a type of evil gay man that i thought died out in the 1800s. hairless amoral mama's boys like him ran the Roman Empire, Imperial China, and the Spanish Inquisition. Lord Varys in one of his mummer's disguises
@InternetH0F
internet hall of fame
5 months
i wish he never asked this guy
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
1 year
god the writers on i think you should leave are so good with words
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
2 years
my dad talked to me this way when i couldn't stop drinking or doing drugs and as of yesterday it's been six years since i've done either. the kids at my rehab with Sean Hannity parents who called them shameful pussies are mostly dead and in jail now. grow up, loser
@atrupar
Aaron Rupar
2 years
what a monster
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
2 months
saying "you seem like an intellectual individual" is SUCH a good way to guarantee someone will not trust you. important lessons
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
1 year
>friendships with women who are in unstable places and from your wild recent past beyond getting a lunch or coffee or something respectful 😍🥰☺️
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
2 years
when I’m out of mana and my boys come through with the potion
Tweet media one
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
1 year
@StolenDans there is a tradition of dixieland jazz bands playing Hollywood picket lines because a bunch of the original Disney animators who led the first big strike against Uncle Walt had a band called the Firehouse Five and they played on the picket every day. not sure why i know that
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
1 year
this is Will Ferrell and Adam McKay’s partnership at the height of its powers. writing about weird white guys who see themselves as smooth
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
2 months
having said all that... side characters always mispronouncing the main character's name? getting corrected twice, ignoring both? third time main says "actually, my name is... never mind." that shit sucks. never goes anywhere. its not funny. you have Chris Parnell, use him
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
1 year
i just got offered a full ride scholarship to social work grad school. what the fuck. it took me 11 years to get my undergrad, i thought i was gonna have to take out like $80k of loans. i’m gonna barf
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
1 year
they get a lot of applicants as boring as this guy. he doesn’t stand out or provide any kind of value proposition to the school. sorry i got into your dream school with a 3.2 GPA and a weird essay but i’m build different
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
1 year
@skatie420 did he do any of his "behind the couch" gags
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
2 years
this is the speech Vegeta would give right before he did something so racist it lasted 3 episodes
Tweet media one
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@imfleetwoodjack
fleetwood jack
10 months
@ByYourLogic Hyde Park is the most dangerous neighborhood in the country because it's the only place where black guys and jewish guys who hate each other will both interrupt you at 10 pm to tell false stories about having been friends with Barack Obama
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