heavy-bottomed pot @i_need_eggs Twitter profile

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

1 year

this is the vibe I’m trying to cultivate

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

25 days

people don’t talk enough about how hard packing is when you have a bunch of small, magical items. lots of important sticks, sentimental pinecones…

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

4 months

if you’re gonna describe something to me as “four cheese” you’d better be able to name all four of those cheeses because I am going to ask

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

5 months

this dude just got mad because he thought that parking spot was open

Chief Chainsaw Officer

@Hispeedlowdrug

5 months

Ten years ago this guy rode his fixie to the coffee shop. Now he drives his Japanese toy truck to the Home Depot. The eternal hipster, always eager to pay more for less utility to avoid the horrible fate of being mistaken for a normal person.

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

7 months

what’s everyone’s favorite oven temp? mine is 375F

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

8 months

super bowl sunday. time to watch my favorite tim & eric clip fifty times today

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

3 years

@bronzeswords socialism is when you play the game fast. and when you play the game really really fast, that’s communism.

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

2 months

my sister is getting married today, which means I get to give her back the exact amount of money she gave us for our wedding two months ago lol

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

1 year

good morning

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

2 years

Recently, the practice of making eggs has become popular.

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

25 days

“hey, be careful with that. that’s my matchbox full of tiny glass birds!”

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

2 years

TerrorChris🇯🇲🇯🇲

@Da1nOnlyCMart

2 years

I'll pass lol. Nothing about this sounds enticing.

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

7 months

I am old and I am a hater and I cannot wait for things to stop looking like this

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

1 year

he’s serving bundt

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

4 months

@therealcbrad they know. I’m just trying to act like they’re wrong

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

1 year

drank a glass of water. waiting for it to kick in…

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

2 years

@udeanthony5 @C_Pley

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

2 years

boone 𓆏

@chrontcn1

2 years

@diamondmolar dating apps have ruined some women They don't want to talk to someone unless they have prescreened them for attractiveness and are shocked when someone IRL says Hi.

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

5 months

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

25 days

a husband who is your boyfriend

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

2 months

@CaptFamous I do not

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

2 years

@heartereum

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

2 years

@weirdlilguys

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

3 months

just remembered I have half a burrito in the fridge

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

2 years

@elonmusk @omnihedge

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

2 years

@josiahhughes how much do you tip your barista for making this??

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

2 years

@meghaverma_art why don’t you have kids?

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

7 months

not seeing dune, but I am interested in the Big Worm archetype

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

2 years

tailgating a car with a “baby on board” sticker. I’m trying to see that baby

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

2 years

@Juhvidius @babayumyum @Texastargirl @rachelkayw "try therapy" says the man who insists he simply MUST hit his children

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

3 years

sometimes I let squirrels think I don’t see them. just to be nice

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

2 years

@teeyrex @rachelkayw smacking an adult is assault. you would be arrested for that. so why should you get to smack a child who has no ability to defend themselves?

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

3 years

@small_meatball @hell_doe

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

2 years

@basedspinach @ARANDOMINTERNE1 yeah man same reason I won’t eat gushers that shit is so scary

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

2 months

I saw this at the store this morning and I can’t stop thinking about it

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

3 months

heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

3 months

can’t wait to log in for work tomorrow, Friday, July 5th. it will definitely be worth everyone’s time.

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

8 months

what if I made teeny tiny baked potatoes for the super bowl?

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

3 years

@rachelmillman my sister is a pharmacist at Walgreens, and she has said some doctors are prescribing ivermectin at very high, unsafe dosages that she would refuse to fill

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

4 months

this is not for me, but I’m thrilled for whoever takes this home

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

4 months

this is what gen z thinks you look like when you turn 35

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

2 months

my dad grew up in Mexico in the 50s/60s and they would buy raw milk directly from farmers and you know what they did when they got it home? they BOILED IT

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

3 years

@RichardGrenell if you ask for a gingerbread man they’ll still give you the fucking cookie

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

3 months

you can invite eight people to your wedding and have no bar and eat charcuterie and chicken wings for dinner and change into pajamas by 9 pm

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

2 years

@T0M1EC0RE @math_teacher_bf when I was in college the otaku/gamer club hosted a convention and I remember walking into a lecture hall where they had hosted a panel a couple hours earlier and the empty room STILL smelled

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

8 months

@folded__person that and “I’m talkin ice cream on the side”

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

5 months

1 like = 1 everything is going to work out for everybody

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

7 months

is this funny or am I just very tired?

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

2 years

@ToastyDecline @sargoth calling teslas “telsas” the way boomers say “chipolte”

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

2 years

@aklingus this guy has sadly deleted all of his tweets

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

7 months

@martin_scorlazy intrigued by 380

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

5 months

slap a butcher block on that bad boy and put it in the center of your kitchen 🤌

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

2 years

say goodnight crocheted baby

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

8 months

HUGE BREADS! Unseen Turkish Breads!

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

3 years

@_takeeiteasy fellas, is it gay to drink juice?

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

3 years

@Ordinary1World you started it by whining that nobody liked your graduation gown and necklace from Claire's

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

1 year

Happy Tomatoes to all who celebrate

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

22 days

it just doesn’t feel like 9/11 this year

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

3 years

@ToneChingon @BunsenSeymore @rosaritamk @bbennettesq @royalpratt sounds like you guys should fight for better workplace protections

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

7 months

a very small and rare ham cube

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

1 month

working on something

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

2 years

that’s right

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

6 months

men love equipment. they love gear

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

1 year

tag yourself ☺️

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

5 months

@Hispeedlowdrug if you wanna rant about cost vs utility you should save that energy for the $80,000 monstrosities with increasingly smaller truck beds that people buy just to go to Costco

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

2 years

SIR.

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

1 month

(because I’m pregnant)

heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

1 month

someone out there needs to drink two or three beers… for me

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

3 years

there’s a wasp in our bathroom, but I’m being positive about it

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

6 months

having brie on a baguette for breakfast

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

7 months

should I buy a vintage caboodles makeup case?

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

6 months

stop showing me that girl! I just know she smells like patchouli and room temperature shrimp

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

2 years

@deadsbirth commit yourself to a transactional relationship with a wealthy man you don’t really like. nobody will stop you

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

5 months

I need adults to stop drinking everything out of $40 sippy cups

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

3 years

@katrosenfield how dare too many people read what you chose to post on… *checks notes* …twitter dot com, and then judge you accordingly!

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

3 years

@DarnelSugarfoo you…can still have a family? you can buy your son a backpack. I guess it would be weird to force your wife to wear an apron, but you can try?

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

5 months

it’s working

heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

5 months

1 like = 1 everything is going to work out for everybody

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

3 years

@stayskepticalll @12357Prime @TelegramTales @Nh4Vo3 @sbagley go drive across a bridge designed by someone with a GED

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

1 year

@ellegist @newthotguy she’ll still be an alcoholic when she’s 33

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

1 year

good morning monday morning

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

5 months

incredible things are happening every day in the beautiful city of chicago (don’t come here)

ooh! little heat in that corn dip!

@eightfoldpathPM

5 months

went for a walk and this guy offered for me to sit in his truck. and then he gave me three jars of giardiniera

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

1 year

taking 4mg of THC and organizing the pantry. tearing my family apart.

(exiled) brecht apologist

@_madisontayt

1 year

i say this as someone who will smoke weed occasionally: if i showed up drunk or coked up to like brunch with friends, the movies, work, etc as casually as stoners show up to things high, everyone would be like “you have a problem”

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heavy-bottomed pot

@i_need_eggs

2 years

they should make meatballs for women

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